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Totally ridiculous - 50%

brutalityobscene, July 25th, 2013

This is one of those rare cases when a 50% review is not necessarily a bad thing. Cumbeast are pretty much the epitome of wigga-slam, complete with slams, breakdowns, and dumb rapping gurgle vocals that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. There are even the very frequent pig squeals that I love so much (spoiler: sarcasm). Ultimately, it IS entertaining, to say the least, from the traditional gory cover to the oddball brutal death metal/gangsta-wannabe mash-up. I think the most entertaining aspect of this band is the fact that they are from Finland, although I sincerely doubt there will be any world tours supporting Skepticism in the near future.

To put it all into perspective, imagine Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks." Tim Burton is a very shitty director, and all of his movies are crap, but then he puts out a movie that is intended to be crappy and everyone cries about it. Well, this is intentionally crappy, and the proof is scattered throughout. The intro riff to "Spewing the Jungle Semen" could have come out of any late 90s/early 00s nu-metal ditty, and the closing song "Blasting the Bling Bling" is clearly the punchline to this elaborate joke. Complete with silly white boys dual-rapping (with bad Finnish accents and near pre-pubescent sounding voices), this track and "Dr. Dongledore" pretty much solidify their intent. Fred Durst meets Cannibal Corpse?

I was previously familiar with Cumbeast from 2006's "Human Pinata", so I pretty much knew what to expect. On their sophomore release, the production is a little less punchy than what is needed to get the full effect, I think. None of that really matters since they really don't know how to put together a good death metal song even if it saved their lives. Every breakdown comes between two other breakdowns, and everything culminates into yet another breakdown. It is plainly obvious that they are playing this style jokingly, and we are all along for a fun ride, but I suppose it's the staunch critic in me that refuses to give "Gourmet of Ill-Shit" a thumbs up and go along my merry way. All apologies, it's just way too stupid.

However, that is the point. Brutal death metal fans looking for something to laugh at, bang their head to without caring about anything really musical, or simply funny song titles will find a tiny bit of gold in this release. However, I prefer a little more substance, and in the case of grindcore (of which I am a humongous fan) something a little more grind. I've said it before elsewhere that I'll just stick with my Dying Fetus and be O.K.