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Well that was a load of shit - 5%

EschatonOmega, March 23rd, 2014

It's hard for me "hate" an album. I can dislike a band, but hate is too strong of an emotion to be wasted on something as subjective as music. Yet with that being the case, Cryptopsy's "None So Vile" still managed to cross that barrier and become an album that I cannot stand for anything.

For those who don't know, Cryptopsy is a technical death metal outfit who has been around for over twenty years and it was their second effort "None So Vile" that put them on the map and is still today considered this golden cow of tech. death metal.

I have two main reasons why I hate this album so much; one, it's overrated to hell. Now that's not an inherent reason to hate an album, unless the album's actual quality doesn't measure up to the hype, and that brings me to reason number two; it's noise. Complete noise. There is no song structure, no progression, nothing of anything close to that whatsoever. Instead it’s just thirty two minutes of the band members jerking themselves off to their own musical talent, without creating any real substance and the result is a very forgettable and boring release.

The riffs do not go anywhere. Completely without sense or structure and they just play one directionless riff after another, the next one having little to nothing to do with the last one. What's more, they have no emotion or reason to give a shit, with very bored sounding guitar solos and riffs that have no structure, and as a result, every song sounds the same. And as a result of the band sounding like they don't give a shit, I don't give a shit.

This is made even worse by the drumming, which also has no structure and instead just sounds like Flo Mounier is just banging away at his kit. They often don't match up with the riffs and just sound like they're doing their own thing. Both the senseless drumming and the just as meaningless riffs are what drives this complete wall of noise that is repetitive and just plain annoying to listen to.

The only saving grace of the instrumental work is that, while the structure is completely out of the mix, you can still hear the individual talent of the musicians. I can tell that they can play their instruments, but it’s wasted on the fact that they didn't write their songs very well.

But the main reason why I hate this album is the vocals. And they are absolutely excruciating to listen to. Lord Worm abandons melody and structure in total and instead goes for this guttural series of grunts, growls and shrieks that don't match up to the rest of the music at all, so much so that it sounds like he was singing in a completely different series of songs on a completely different album. Now while the instrumental work shows promise in terms of playing ability, the vocals have nothing redeeming about them. They just suck, and they act as the main driving force behind why the album has been just so unbearable to listen to.

It took me three times to listen to this album. The first two I just couldn't take it and quit half way through, and the third time I just forced myself through the mess and listened to the whole thing. A lot of people love it, but to me, it was a chore to listen to, I think it's horribly overrated and not worth anyone's time.