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....*laugh.* - 35%

operaofdamnation, October 7th, 2005

Alright, let's go through this terrible DVD play by play, shall we?. It opens with then keyboardist Lector...who makes it painfully obvious that he's winging it. Then opens the song "From Cradle to Enslave." It's not a bad song, it just isn't Midian-worthy. It makes several attempts at helping Mallcore people going "Oh, I get it!. I bet no one else even caught that!." "PanDaemonAeon?. It has Daemon and Aeon...and it sounds like Pandemonium!. I'm so smart!." One thing to point out is the Judas Priest reference that Dani makes...look for the Razor that says "Made in England." The whole video kind of screams "thrown together." Then, to introduce the "Per-Version" of the video is none other than Dani himself, who attemprts to make himself seem evil by wearing a crown of thorns and claiming he dreams about assassinating religious figures...LAFF. Even better is when he says "Here comes the *good* version of the song, not that MtV-friendly version you've just seen." LAFF AGAIN. Dani Filth, the biggest money-whore in all of "Metal", was FORCED to make a version he could market to the MtV kiddos. The video is basically the same, except most of the girls have their tops off now, exciting the teenage kiddos. Oh, and a word of advice, when the girl starts pulling up her skirt for Lector, DEAR GOD, LOOK AWAY. You'll thank me when you don't want to gouge your eyes out. Other than the disgusting beast under her skirt and the various booblies, nothing much is different about this version, it was just their half-ass attempt at gaining Tr00 points.
Now onto the, as Dani puts it, "Inevitable Cashing-In Making-Of video." It blows, skip it, even if you're the biggest, hardcorest Cradle fan ever. Crappy humor, boring stuff, drinking. Here, go read a Peanuts comic strip - You've now experienced the humor, and possibly a little more black metal.
Ah, and onto the live's actually not bad, it's the best part of the DVD by far, with the exception of the Bassist's Marilyn Manson-esque sailor hat. He needs to take that off, immediately...but of course, he's grym, so he doesn't. Besides the fact that the band clearly half-asses live, and goes more for the image, it's not bad to watch if you like Cradle of Filth, and if you've never heard their pre-Midian albums, it's a good warm-up for them. Too bad the live portion is so short lived, otherwise this DVD would be worth more than $10.
Bottom Line - Go buy it if you like Cradle of Filth, but don't pay more than $10-$12 for it. Don't expect much from it, don't watch the making of, and don't forget to look away when she starts lifting her skirt.