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Cock and Ball Torture > Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command > Reviews
Cock and Ball Torture - Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command

A golden shower of passable p(ee) grind - 69%

santaklaus, September 17th, 2022
Written based on this version: 2002, CD, Stuhlgang Records (Maxi single edition)

In anticipation of their 2002 full-length Sadochismo, the oft-memed German kings of pornogrind released this nifty little extended play, continuing their contribution to one of death metal's most reviled and objectionable subgenres with clean production and tight musicianship. Song titles and album art aside, little can be found in Cock and Ball Torture's oeuvre to warrant outright dismissal, as the content herein is not nearly as obscene and transgressive as the band's reputation suggests, and the performances bear not the shortcomings of amateurism. What can be expected are groove-heavy rhythms, exciting tempo changes, and, yes, toilet bowl vocals.

The record begins with the title track (which also opens up the aforementioned LP), dropping the listener into a mid-tempo groove before accelerating into a brisk tupa tupa beat and repeating. The first five songs offer little variation in vocals, unless one can distinguish between bongwater bubbles and frog croaks, so this review won't dwell too much on them. "Tampon Removal" strikes me as having a more OSDM vibe about it, specifically early Jungle Rot, even more specifically the mid-paced parts of "Destruction and Misery." This is also the point in the EP where we hear blast beats for the first time. "Barefoot & Hungry" is where the record really earns its praises, opening with slow, pulverizing riffs that every metallic hardcore band would be envious of and interspersed with more blasts. Your arms will reflexively cover your head for fear of being crowd killed by a 300lb beatdown goon, it's that hard. The rest of CBT's original material follows suit with the first three songs, and the proceedings end with two covers. Let's talk about the last one, "Zombie Squad 69." With the exception of the guttural burps and cartoonish shrieks of the vocals, the music for this song is alarmingly nu metal. Perhaps Mucupurulent is to blame for having written it, but CBT might have chosen something more in-line with their own brand of goregrind.

As stated before, the clean production reflects nothing of the sexual filth one could imagine the lyrics imbue, had they been provided, or if they exist as human language at all. Perhaps the sound could be called low budget, if one is a stickler for that sort of thing, but certainly not lo-fi. All instruments are discernable from each other and their tones are tasteful. Mercifully, and I cannot stress how much this is appreciated, the record contains no movie samples, pornographic or otherwise. A virtue of omission if there ever was one!

Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command may be as good a starting point into the wet and wild world of pornogrind as any. CBT are but a few purveyors of this style that are even remotely recommendable (the only others that cum to mind are Inferia and Creamface, the latter being an admittedly tough sell). The merits of this EP are certainly debatable. It's not extraordinary by any measure, just plain ordinary. Sure, your head will bang and your limbs will want to mosh. Some may argue that's all a metal album needs to do, while others will argue that's merely a prerequisite. CBT passes muster and manages to encourage the listener to have fun with the bouncy riffs and rhythms without having to wallow in the shame of indulging in scatological erotica. A modest and average death metal affair; a gem of a pornogrind release, for what it's worth.