Aletales

Encyclopaedia Metallum has created more than it's fair share of controversy by excluding bands who borderline on metal, thus I was more than surprised to see this release on here. Here in Australia, a company named Bird's Eye produce an admittedly delicious fish finger that had been promoted with the same advertisement for about 15 years. It is a moronic folk/pirate sounding jingle, and this band sound like a hybrid of that jingle and any of a host of mall/metalcore bands that have graced us with their angst this last decade.

The main problem with this band is that they exist; virtually every riff on this album sounds like it was lifted from either a TV jingle or a Finntroll song, but somehow they manage to sound even more pathetic and commercial. Lyrics are obviously intended to be funny, such is the nature of most bands who have no confidence in their musicality (with good reason). Unfortunately, the lyrics are not funny and made worse by terrible vocals and pop/punk vocal phrasing. To say this music is melodic death metal (as is detailed in the 'genre' here on the metal archives) would suggest that death metal is not a style of music, and is rather characterised by distorted guitars and fast drumming. Melodic death metal this is not, it is structurally pop music with poor "jig" riffs and a VERY modern death metal sound.

By this logic, Anal Cunt should be approved for this site. Both bands have distorted guitars, fast drums, don't play metal, the only real difference is that Anal Cunt are funny and are much closer to being metal. This is not spirited and it's not amusing. Every local scene has a thousand bands like this one, but some of those bands might have some potential because they actually listen to metal and could be a step closer to understanding it. 1 point for the good looking girl in the band and another point for the jewel case you can use to house a better CD that doesn't already have a cover.