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Vntrve - 33%

Felix 1666, April 30th, 2017

During the whole time of the band's existence, Bulldozer bordered on parody. They showed their affinity for Venom in a blatant manner and embodied the type of boozy, undogmatic "Satanist" that Cronos had invented back in 1982. "Another Beer (It's what I Need)" was an early statement and pretty nonsensical pieces such as "Don Andras" underlined that the band had a special sense of humour instead of being a part of the morose legions of the devil. Nevertheless, "Dance Got Sick!" took the next step, to describe it euphemistically.

Bulldozer collaborate with two famous guys (never heard of them before), "Dr. D.O.P.E." and, as far as I can see, the famous "DJ Sick". The involvement of further irrelevant assholes is not known. Anyway, the output bleeds from numerous wounds. Although there are some guitar-based elements - the riff of the first track is really strong: catchy, coherent and slightly mean - and a more or less aggressive atmosphere, the "motherf**ker" aesthetics (and "aesthetics" is another euphemism in this context) of the guest vocals indicate that we are leaving the metallic sector. Not to mention the flickering synthesizers that suffer from epilepsy. However, I am almost ashamed to say it and it costs quite an effort for me, but... the main track is not bad. Its sometimes rapid drums, the partly "normal", raw vocals and the guitar work sound familiar and prove evidence that the metallic characteristics do not need to fear the competition with the stylistic features of completely different genres. Moreover, it is amazing to hear that the mix of the actually crappy rap vocals and the metallic voice works.

Does anybody need different versions of "Dance Got Sick!"? No way! But Bulldozer know no mercy and therefore the EP has a playtime of more than 15 minutes. They should have stopped this crude experiment much earlier. The "Core Rap Version" sucks completely, because even the smallest iota of metal is missing. Only the motherf**ker and his electric sounds appear in order to kill any form of good taste. Believe me, he fulfils his mission meticulously. Even the "Tech-core Rap Sickness", the last version, is less disturbing, because it has a certain drive. The vocals and the lyrics are another catastrophe. Man, get up, get up, move it, move it, man, and check it out, check it out, check it out, man, that's all I can say after this delightful techno experience. However, I am sure that millions of visitors of this site enjoy techno - this one is for you, my dear apostles of synthetic sterility.

I have really no idea why these songs appeared under the banner of Bulldozer. Normally, this nonsense would deserve a very low rating, regardless of its solid production. But I am such an untrue, sorry: vntrve, loser that I want to stay fair and yes, two versions of this shitty cripple have a certain stinking charm. Please don't compare this rating with those of my further reviews, because this score is only valid in the parallel universe of techno sounds.