Kumite Attack

Loftily kicking us in the crotch whilst shotgunning Albertan scotch is Cow Town's kinetically charged Bloodsport and its twelve minute/two-tracked EP, Kumite Attack, tossed forth a week ago under the fairly nascent but proudly Canadian Nightstrike Records (frigid purveyor of fellow recent Canuck worthies Psilocybin, Roadrash and Traveler). By ex-Prime Minister Stephen Harper's godawful frontal mullet (which disturbingly evokes a post-coital, slovenly cat), I'm egregiously drawn in by both "Bound By The Code" and its maniacally dense, yawp-along brother-in-arms, "Goin' Awol (No Turning Back)".

The former starts off in cymbal-ized and meandering, tension raising form prior to gruffly astringent palm-mutes and frenzied, pinging bass runs while vocalist Jan Loncik feverishly shoots off multitudinous seedy n' speedy shouts over a widely varying slew of improvisational albeit wholly concordant rapid-fire riffs. Best of all, however, are the feral, free-wheeling, hectic leads such as the one slyly jostling about half-way in before the gloves come off as it picks up in both snarky attitude and punchy, uncompromising ardour, especially at 04:17, whence a terrifically skittering, jump-around backing guitar riff joins ranks with a festive, lunatic bout of Gwar styled horseplay. In fact, Bloodsport exhibits an unabashed penchant for slack and pervasive, demented melody akin to said notorious hucksters' debut full-length from 1988, the jocosely titled Hello-O. (Incidentally, and for want of a ludicrously wanton "shoehorning in", that was the year Calgary achieved Worldly status thanks to its hosting of the XVth Winter Olympics - embellished, no doubt, by hammy-&-bizarre-as-all-get-out, ill-conceived, groan-worthy mascots Howdy and Hidy!)

Suffice to say, Kumite Attack also adheres to a vociferous, jam-styled modus operandi which should immediately enliven the drabbest of bus rides, emergency room waits, or food bank line-ups, whether you're hangin' out at the ole Mustard Seed on 11th Ave. or, closer to home, the crusty, one-hundred + year old Carnegie Center right here in "Van", B.C.

"Goin' Awol (No Turning Back)", for its part, possesses somewhat of a loosely liberating and coming-of-age - but no less rampant - USPM vibe, to my ears, akin to perhaps Liege Lord. If anything, B.'s voice is way more high-strung - not to mention sharply pitched - than on the less stalwart but equally roughhousing "Bound By The Code". By this, I'm alluding to "AWOL"'s pyrotechnic-as-fuck, quasi-classical rocket ride of a super solo slicing off noses far and wide (and not just for female Aboriginal infidelity), beginning around the 04:45 mark.

Both six-minute humdingers are so shockingly mercurial and raging, I sense a third (and/or fourth) such sonic pound-er(s) would have nudged this deceptively short affair into the mid 80s, rating wise, as opposed to skirting them. (If anything, the lads will readily glean this writing, happily guffaw some, then roughly commence/continue preparations for an egregiously anticipated full-length - with my boppin' n' toffin' shnozz riotously marked as bulls-eye!) In fact, I didn't know what to expect from the bloodied but no less cool Karate Kid cover, but I must say, Bloodsport amply makes the most of each and every bar while displaying a flashy razz-ma-taz zeal akin to the above mentioned "athletic rock" calisthenics.

Again, here's to hoping that which started off as a twin-guitar, five-man jocular, arse kicking side project evolves into something much bigger, badder and developed in our surely dystopian future...

Ed's Note: According to Dictionary.com, Kumite is defined as "martial arts freestyle sparring or fighting" (as opposed to my initial far-out impression of Orcs, Elves and/or [treasure] Trolls...[!])