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Tales from the bargain bin (Part 8) - 24%

hells_unicorn, May 12th, 2009

When entering the realm of forgotten wonders that we call a bargain store, I happened upon a deal just too auspicious to ignore. But little did I know when I saw a price of dollars 3, that a horrid experience soon awaited me. The year printed was 1977 and the vinyl’s casing had an artistic rendering grand, but the gears of my merriment would soon be doused with the coarsest of sand. So thus I went home and dusted off the phonograph, and awaited what I’d hope would be an auditory demon’s wrath.

That intro riff of “Paranoid” kicked off this album with a familiar ring, and then I was reminded of a time when Ozzy could still sing. But soon the novelty faded and I sat down to observe, a listener’s fate that no man could ever deserve. The back and forth between songs from 70s Sabbath near and far, quickly turned from Metal madness into a decrepit tar. Why should one go to any store and part with monies silver or green, when a sitting at the halls of Rock radio would freely grant the same dreams.

And what of the pacing of these songs too familiar thus? Now this is where I must raise quite a gargantuan fuss. From “Changes” to “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”, a sappy ballad to an epic true? Cramming long ones in the middle, with fanfare at both edges to further perplex you. There is no song on here that can be called a total miss, but the lack of distinction from the last compilation will surely make you hiss. Just obligatory classics with riffs grand yet already known, unless you live under a rock or exist in a dead zone.

Have not mercy on this pile of dung for when it was conceived, for cookie cutter cash grabs old and young are not for you and me. Hear this satirical poem and understand my frustrated cries, for I can not stomach another best of with “Tomorrow’s Dream” and “Laguna Sunrise”. But cry not for me my friends in Metal one and all, for I simply paid 4 dollars for an artwork to adorn my wall. The moral of this story for you who frequent the bargain bin, is that a shiny piece of history on vinyl is not a guaranteed win.

Originally submitted to ( on May 12, 2009.

Stupid piece of crap - 60%

OlympicSharpshooter, August 26th, 2004

Now, other than the sweet cover (We Sold Our Soul responds with the freaky pic of the woman in the glass coffin and the none-more-black cover), this is a redundant weakling, a weazing little sister to the more famous and deservedly revered predecessor in this compilations game.

So, seeing as it's 1977 and the band has released two more records, one of which was incredibly uhhh... incredible (Sabotage), and the record before that (Sabbath Bloody Sabbath) receieved virtually no attention last time, what do you as a compilation marker do on this blandly named Greatest Hits comp? Well, obviously not what seems pretty fucking obvious to me.

Instead, boredom. You've heard these songs before, and you've heard them inside of much better packages. Also, why in the hell is "Laguna Sunrise" on here, again? You get an abbreviated version of a catalogue abbreviation, and considering how rare this probably is, also a more expensive one.

Avoid this piece of crap.

Stand-Outs: Meh.