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Steven Tyrler - 18%

Acrobat, March 16th, 2008

Well this has to be without doubt the wankest Sabbath song ever, it sounds like one of those piss weak power ballads Aerosmith have been making for the past couple of decades.

‘Tyr’ was without doubt an excellent Sabbath album and a continuation of the Tony Martin era resurgence. However, this song is absolute cheese and to be fair a lot of ‘Tyr’ or ‘Headless Cross’ was cheesy but in a “hell yes, sweet mullet Tony!” kind of way whereas this is just cringe worthy. This line up of Sabbath was undoubtedly of a high musical pedigree but even some over the top drumming from the late great Cozy Powell and a tasty guitar solo can’t save this abomination. Most of the second half of the ‘Tyr’ album dealt with an epic conceptual theme that had something to do with Norse mythology but this is just another power ballad love song almost indistinguishable from hundreds of others in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Sabbath hadn’t had a big hit in quite some time by 90 (in fact big hits were fairly elusive after ‘Paranoid’ anyway) so maybe the two Tony’s, Cozy, Neil and Geoff though “lets steal some of Whitesnake’s fan base” and came up with this complete dross of a ballad. The verses are bland, the bridge reminds me of all those horrendous Aerosmith songs that come on at the end of bad American films and the chorus’ continues that vibe. Aside from this song ‘Tyr’ is an epic and grandiose metal album proving that the band despite critical onslaught and only having one original member could still deliver some exceptional metal. But ‘Feels Good To Me’ showed somewhat of an Achilles heel, as even heavy metal Gods like Sabbath were susceptible to writing absolute crap in the hope of achieving that ever elusive big hit single.

Other potential puns I simply didn’t have room for in the review;
Tyred, Tyrd, Feels Like White Lion To Me, Tyr’s in the Attic, Tyrny Kitaen…I could go on.