13

It is completely unpleasant to me writing this review. First of all, because I made a strong statement myself: Never to review Black Sabbath before reviewing at least 100 albums. I don't know why I took that stand, but anyway. As I went to the record-store, I found this thing and the poor impression it left me forced to break that status quo.

This line-up features three of our all-time favourite guys doing their metal thing: Uncle Ozzy, that non-gifted singer but with such charm and gusto for the stoner stuff. Tony Iommi, the man himself of metal and Geezer the Beer Wizard Butler, an underated bassist, as heavy as your sexy sister listening to Coldplay while having sex with that nasty boyfriend of hers. Yeah, a total badass Mr. Butler is: a genius.

But among those three major names, a dude was added to parasite the sacred cow from inside out and weakening the whole digestive system of the organism: Brad Wilk. Hey, don't you lie on us, we all know that this guy is actually Angelo Sasso, that nice friend of our Rock and Rolf uncle, the mythic drummer made of transistors and energized by electromagnetic impulses. Now, you may believe that he was a real human being, with flesh, bones and blood. I can say to you "that's ok, if you think someone with flesh and bones can be so DEAD while playing the drums in Black Sabbath". God bless Vinny Appice and Bill Ward, to say the least, we are terribly sorry for this.

First of all, I think there is a strong agreement that Dio was far better in the vocals than Ozzy. Yes, right. But we all missed the classical growling style of uncle Oz doing his stuff a-la-early doom. Sabbath Bloody Sabbath comes strong in our minds, we fall into that and we play joyful stuff on and on. Lots of black magic here, there, everywhere. The guys from Birmingham were just simply more than what we could believe. Majestic. Now, we fall into this trap named "13" -add the albums made by Ozzy with those by Dio, including "The Devil You Know" and you get a number- and our face plunges down to the floor. What is it? Was it this for real, or just a crazy dream ?

That same 2013, Deep Purple, the other band that created heavy metal, released its album "Now What?!" and, somehow, nobody in the metal scene seems to noted it. Despite of that, the guys led by Morse (yeah, Steve Morse, because he was the lead in that album, finally they forgot about Blackmore) manage to create an album which chooses to be within the first category. Reinvention, with a feeling of deep respect with the ancent and forgone glory days. But something of its own, with a pure essence and magic. With an own personality. Somehow, a great album of "the other band that created metal" went completely unnoticed by the metal audience. Only my review there, after several weeks of release.

Black Sabbath has chosen the second way of "harvesting from the past". The coward way. And I really hate to say that, since Tony Iommi is a god for me, I have a picture of him, in the 80's, with his guitar, sticked to the main wall of my bedroom, alongside my poster of Ritchie Blackmore. But yes, they chose the "coward" way, the second. With Ozzy, completely out of shape for singing (he isn't precisely the most gifted vocal performer but at least, in his glory days, could manage to be in tone, in the line) and Angelo Sasso playing the drums here (I refuse to believe there was a human drumming here, it was a machine or they borrowed from the nether-realm Running Wild's legendary boy), there was not much to expect. Only Iommi could have saved this, but get this: instead of punching us in the face with his riffs, he keeps on looting and faking everything he could from his albums in the 70's.

Yeah, you can say "well, many people does that kind of things, even Iommi can..." and I can kick you in the face, dropping out one of your rancid teeth. Iommi, the metal god himself, doing self plagiarism! I thought I would have died before seeing -or listening, as matter fact- that.

One can think about many theories here. Maybe Dio put a spell on Iommi before his death, maybe Tony is just trying to pull our strings as much as possible to see how loyal we are to his music. Maybe being close to someone who was so close to Lars Ulrich can infect you with laxness of creativity, maybe Rubin itself injected into Iommi's blood (while he was sleeping) some scar tissues of Hammett, making our favourite guitar-riffer losing his power. Maybe this is a conspiracy led by that zionist Digital Bitch that turned Ozzy into her drone... Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

But I think about this possibility and in my humble opinion, is the most logical one: maybe they just went into the studio for the total sake of money-making and with no clue, not even a hint on how to do a new album. Therefore, they did the basic: they went the coward way, imitating what they have done before, doing it intentionally kinda-atmospheric dark and throwing it to the sales market to get the fresh coins over the table. Yeah, that's it. They just entered the studio, they just copied a couple of things from a long time ago and there you go: RIAA Platinum.

To talk about the songs is to inflict ourselves more pain than what is needed. But we should? Anyway, let's just start...

From the very first second, when I heard the single "God is Dead", I detected some evil -and I'm not talking about Lucifer, that's our friend- lurking into the magic realms of the Black Sabbath. Something was just so tame, so squared and fitted to sound this way. Too flat and simple. Of course, those chords at the beginning are so doooooooooom, so daaaaaaaark, so mooooooooody. Yes, pal. And so boring. So "I've heard this thing before but way more gutsy". Then, the blast: OMG... METALLICA!!

Yeah, that's what I thought. Are we listening something from BS? Really? Well, this single almost blew my mind away, in a bad way. Ozzy singing this, with no passion, no magic...

After that impression, I cherished myself with a thought: "no, it's just an illusion, like everything in human reality. Tony is playing tricks with our minds, as usual".

Well, it wasn't an ilussion: the album just gets worst by every listen you give to it.

"End of the Beginning" tries to emulate that song we all know and cheer, written by Black Sabbath in the album Black Sabbath and entitled "Black Sabbath". In every aspect, yeah, every one. It has nothing new, it has nothing mystic nor esoteric there. It's plain plagiarism but with 40 years of decadence. 40 years of Ozzy's voice getting duller and duller. And no magic moment from Iommi, only Geezer being solid from behind. And Angelo Sasso, of course, pure magic this guy!

I closed my eyes and my ears for a moment. But I was starting to listen "Loner" and some hope slided in my mind. Maybe if we can forget Ozzy and his miserable non-singing here and maybe if Angelo Sasso was more erratic, more human, this piece could have evolved in something respectable. But no. Ozzy sings like me in the bathroom, but with no shame and this drummer KICKS EVERYONE'S ASS! The self-plagiarism is way too obvious here and Iommi just can't excite us enough with a timid solo, that's pretty much of it. And, get this, I'm saying that this song is one of the good ones of the album! So, this album is crap, no doubt about it.

We all heard about "Planet Caravan", about "Stonehenge" and some other pieces like "Zeitgeist" before, in BS's large catalog. Well, this song is not entirely wrong in the strict sense of "reaching your head". It does, it goes well. But lacks the feeling, the thing goes way too one-sided, linear, single-functional. The song is enjoyable, of course, if we forget that it was written by Iommi and friends. You can even play this in a night at a beach in Santa Monica or Biarritz, if you are in Europe. Or in Copacabana. Light a fire, get your guitar, sing along some pretty ladies and they will admire your talent, they'll say to you "oh, that's such a lovely song, is it from Bruno Mars?". "No, dear ladies, this thing is from Black Sabbath". "What? You loser, Sabbath has balls, this thing is from Bruno Mars".

Sasso tries to turn himself into a real entient for a moment, when "Age of Reason" starts. Geezer Butler does the magic later, the thing climbs some hills and this song actually rocks. But, hey, when you take a deeper listen here, you figure out that our drummer keeps on doing the same thing for about seven minutes, excluding the necessary shifting moments in the bridges and in the solo, if we can call that a solo, coming from Iommi. In the slow moment of the song, Metallica's shadow appears again... But suddenly, the thing shifts a little bit and returns to the Sasso pattern. Iommi tries to save what was a promising song in his last solo, he achieves some points, but everything goes hollow again, there is no magic here. I'm not listening to Iommi and that's painful.

"Live Forever" is an attempt to "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" us all, with some touches of "Master of Reality" but with no spirit. There are lots of good ideas in the mood of classic doom. But just without balls, without the courage needed to explore them all and getting an answer. And Ozzy gets more and more annoying as the song goes by. Iommi tries hard to be Iommi, but he can't. Or he just don't want to? Oh, please, ged rid of Ozzy NOW. And of Angelo Sasso. Have you heard about this song of Metallica: "2x4" in the Load album? Take a listen and compare it with some parts of "Live Forever".

Trying to save the panorama, Iommi takes full charge at "Damaged Souls" and "Dear Father". In the former, Ozzy also does better, at least he sticks into the tone and drives the lyrics to a respectable end, while surrounded by Iommi's solo, by far the finest here -without being impressive-. That harmonica also brings to us, at least once in this crap of an album, some fond and magic memories... The guitar solo tries hard and for a moment, you say loud and clear "hey, this is Iommi". The doomy atmosphere is strong and sounds natural, not "forced", comes along the beat. Does just great, good. Regular, acceptable. And being "regular and acceptable" is unacceptable in Black Sabbath. In the latter, Sabbath finally reminds how to full-throttle the thing. It is not close of being a masterpiece, but gets somehow close. After a long torture, this couple of songs gives to us some final and little rejoice. "Dear Father" starts moderato, grows bigger, gets faster, beats a lot -without a proper riff, mind you, only a mediocrity by Iommi- and finishes with the album trying to leitmotif-us with a famous sound of a bell... And a rainy environment... I just can't say anymore.

That's enough for me writing about the songs in this album.

The only player up to his responsablity here was Geezer. Ozzy just... Can't be fixed. Iommi wasn't Iommi and Angelo Sasso is a legend (as this Sabbath drummer will become one, believe me). But Mr. Butler stood tall, doing some nasty things with his bass. Listen to "Loner" for instance. It may trick on you with that bluesy rythm, but Geezer is going way beyond there. Take a deep listen to "Age of Reason" and "Dear Father" and you will find a glorious Geezer doin' his thing and doing it right. As it should, in a BS album. Geezer Butler, such a good chap.

Oh god, even the quality sound production just makes this thing worst. And remember, ladies, Rick Rubin was a good pal of those guys in Metallica, so nothing good can be taken from his influence. Enough said.

Anyway, for finishing this painful review: if you like and appreciate the ballsy way of looking through the past but with a macho attitude, go and get the nice album released by Deep Purple this same year (have you heard of it?). Maybe not that metal, but much more brave than this coward and inspiration-less thing, created for the pure sake of sacking and plundering our precious bodily fluids and money. And if this is the end of Black Sabbath, what a sad finish... I hope they'll vindicate themselves.