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Black Mesa Preservation Society > 13​:​37 > Reviews
Black Mesa Preservation Society - 13​:​37

Way worse than I hop-- Ah, who am I kidding. It was all evident. - 20%

IJzerklompje, February 11th, 2024

Gamers are here, among us metalheads. Hell, even among the musicians. Like, Lemmy's famous obsession with arcade machines, or They Azagtoth's boomer shooter affinities, or Dave Mustaine's exclusive OST songs he provided for various games, or Raymond Herrera who pioneered the metal OST product-placement as a way to widen the audience (and it worked, probably, way better that the Headbangers Ball clips). Or the whole hype behinde the Brutal Legend game. Those were the times, probably... BMPS comes from The Hague, and they evidently were mainly inspired by the series starring a crowbar hero and its human companion. The album title references LEET lingo.

It starts with a very crooked sounding guitar, copmletely twisted with distortion following to the Swedish recipe, even though it feels off anyway. In the opening song "Misery" you can notice very familiar structures, aggravated by the unpretentious sound of drums with some really out-of-place delay. The band calls itself a death/thrash band, but there is no thrash here. There are more elements of modern death and slamming brutal DM with all the drawbacks that follow inevitably. In some places you can notice obvious and shameless borrowings, like in the self-titled track, where you can hear "Korobeyniki", or "Tetris Theme", or some themes from Star Wars like in "Sick of the Jedi". Jeffrey Spaans' vocals balance between tolerable and inherently weak (his screaming is horrible - ears, oh my poor little ears!). There are occasional issues with the overall synchronization of the twin guitars, they don't always sound in required unison in the mix. The solos are not impressive in the slightest, somewhere, for example in "Chaos", there is a blatant syncopation no one bothered to hide or fix. The lyrics are as unpretentious and cringey as possible - three tracks about "Half-Life", one about "Star Wars"; two action songs about gamers - one is slightly melodic (melodic=\=good, just to remind you) "Red Ring of Death" - about a broken Xbox 360 console, the other one - more impulsive "Ragequit" - about a violent tantrum occuring while playing a game (though real fist banging against the computer table will sound more convincing); the last three tracks about Skyrim ("Ragnar the Dead" - a cover, apparently sung in Dutch, of "Ragnar the Red" - this is actually the only track that is interesting at all, and it's not even so much of a masterpiece). Overall, neither musically nor in terms of lyrics, the band's imagination does not impress. Just a very dull kidult metal.

Another silly attempt to tie in your hobby or favourite media to metal music is proven to be a boring, worn-out secondary failure. It seems that gamers will have to wait for their own Nile gamers for another decade, for it is not the only team that have tried to achieve such a thing. But this particular work turned out to be absolutely worthless. This is JUNK. "Eating crumbs from under a keyboard" is an epithet not junky enough. This one's to avoid, just like "Hunt Down the Freeman".