Face Schmelted in 9 Minutes or Less

Welcome to the first confusing instalment of Belushi Speed Ball, a band that likes jokes more than riffs. Right, they aren't the only newer thrash outfit making a big point out of their sense of humour, but probably the only one who managed to shorten one of their albums by more than a third by releasing a "skit-free version". Face Schmelted in 9 Minutes or Less was obviously extremely short to begin with (haven't you read the title?), so it's for the best that the Kentucky group get on with it.

On this evidence, BSB probably arrived to thrash from a place resembling death metal (perhaps similar to Smash Potater), because despite the crossover length of some of these songs we hear aggressive roared vocals and a dirty death thrash sound much closer to old Kreator than Municipal Waste or Nuclear Assault. Oddly enough, the music shows no semblance of fun except for occasional insertions of weird stuff, like the Space Invader noises in the middle of 'Zero Ain't No Megaman'. Actually, the Misfits cover at the end puts some of the release in context, the one-dimensional punk being roughly the template for very straight attacks from the 3 "main" tracks in the middle of the EP, if we consider 'The Alias of Mike Honcho' as an intro with its finger-tapping solo and sparse lyrics. When I say that the slightly longer tracks are "straight", I mean that they don't really change direction after setting up their basic style, neither slowing down particularly nor changing riffs that much. However, the vocals also dominate the mix when they come in, while the guitar fuzzes out in very trebly fashion, so the instrumentals lose some definition.

All this makes me feel that BSB weren't quite sure what they were aiming for either musically or thematically, even if the brief spoken jokes feel familiar with hindsight. I really can't recommend the music much at all though, such a vague and uninspiring mess it is, while most awkwardly it reminds me of songs that I used to record on cassette in my bedroom. At least Belushi Speed Ball had a drummer, I guess.