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What the fuck? What the hell are ya doin' Joey? - 1%

ShadeOfDarkness, October 1st, 2009

All right. I am a huge Anthrax fan. I've been that for a while now. I was so fascinated by Anthrax's early stuff, and thought it was totally amazing. It is actually some of the best thrash there is out there! However, when Joey decided to start a little solo career, he missed on some points. The first album was pretty good. It had that spirit Joey was known for. This one however, is a different story.

So, let's start with the positive things. What? There are none!

This album is just full of crap from start to finish. Every song is similar to each other, as well as very rushed and have no systematic order in them. Joey can suddenly start screaming at some random moments when it doesn't suit, or riffs can suddenly change into some piece of shit when you would almost think it was gonna turn into a good riff. The songs are so rushed that it's hard to believe the legendary Joey Belladonna is behind this album. How the hell does he even know to write these shitty songs? How is it possible? At first I just wouldn't admit that this album was crap. I tried to like it, but I just couldn't. It was just a piece of fucking crap! It has no musicianship. Actually, I wouldn't even call this music at all!

And if this wasn't enough, then I can tell you that the production is fucking shit too! The guitar sound gives me the creeps. It hurts my ears to listen to it. Joey's vocals have a strange sound too. Sounds like he's singing on his own vocals more than once. So it sounds like there are three or four Joeys singing together, which is not a good thing in this situation. How much time have I wasted searching the internet for this crap? Well, I really don't know. I'm just glad I didn't buy it like the other guy that reviewed this album. DO NOT make the same mistake he did! Stay long away from this album! May it burn in hellfire!

The horror...worst album in my collection - 4%

Bloodstone, July 10th, 2007

Sure glad I didn't pay more than the Swedish krona equivalent of one U.S. buck for it (big sale, bought 62 albums at once, mostly crap), I mean this album is just awful on so many levels. This is the former Anthrax vocalist's second solo venture after his 1995 self-titled debut, and as far as albums featuring metal musicians as famous as him go, this one definitely ranks near the very bottom. The s/t I've heard people say is not bad at all, but if that's true, something must've gone terribly wrong in the four years passed between the two, because this album is so bad it makes the latest Michael Kiske album sound like the worthy follow-up to Keepers II. All I can say is, what the hell was Joey thinking?

To describe the sound here, you know how in the early 90's, the thrash metal bands started backing down on speed and intensity, in favor of a lighter, more groove based and straight up heavy metal sound? Flotsam and Jetsam, Sacred Reich, imagine the transition in their sounds from circa 1987 to circa 1992, taken one or two steps further, and you're in the right ballpark. Even with many instances of the "alternative" sounds of the 90's popping up here and there on this album, it's an overall decently metal sound on display, but the guitar tone must be especially noted for being rather light and more on the rock side of things. Now don't get the idea that I went into this expecting to get my head thrashed and neck snapped, and that I'm just disappointed that the album didn't do exactly that for me - no, this is my objective assessment of the album's sound, nothing less, and not one of the reasons for its severe ass-suckage, of which there are plenty.

So the riffwriting may not actually be bad on its own (tasteful enough to rip off Pantera's "A New Level" on one song, anyway), but as for songwriting, playing and production, this is nothing short of a train wreck we have here. Like a really bad and totally sloppy jam session with far too many drugs involved (I do get a bit of a stoner rock/metal vibe from this) and with far too little thought put into it, it's basically just a bunch of thrash/groove riffs haphazardly thrown together, recorded and mixed poorly at that. Which is rather disappointing, considering the songwriting on here is clearly driven by riffs and not melodies, and also did I mention that weak, flat, shitty-ass guitar tone already? Sonically, Spells of Fear is total grunge rock - in itself not a bad thing in my book, but what on earth a guitar tone like this, utterly lame by any musical standards, is doing on a METAL album is entirely beyond me.

Overall, this might have been simply terrible were it not for the vocals - HOLY FUCK THEY ARE BAD! Now Joey may not have been all that great of a vocalist in the first place, but man, this is simply the pits. No power, emotion or range to speak of whatsoever, vocal lines so poorly conceived they were likely made up on the fly and singing off-key frequently enough to drive anyone mad. This has to have been done on purpose for some god unknown reason, there's no possible way such an established musician can screw up this badly. "No name, like a shadow on a moonless night" - ha! Try elsewhere! Certainly, good ol' Anthrax held some catchiness in their vocals from time to time, but needless to say, none of that is found here. Even if the music on here had been cool, the vocals would've totally ruined it.

No less than thirteen songs on here and the whole thing drags on for more than an hour...I need a drink. This album is pure torture. Abominable. Vomitous. The audial equivalent of the movie Speed 2. Other mean remarks I can think of. Hmm, must go consult Angry Video Game Nerd for more of that the next time I'm to review something this bad, or at least approaching it. Ah well, bottom line: this is one of the worst albums I've ever heard in my life and quite frankly I don't see it appealing much to anyone. This isn't just downright anti-musical, it's completely, flat-out fucking BORING to boot and thus does not score any "so bad it's good" points. It is naught but a massive waste of your and anyone's time. Shoo!