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The only decent thing is the artwork. - 25%

Sigillum_Dei_Ameth, November 4th, 2009

You see an album with good, interesting artwork and you think to yourself "Hey, maybe this isn't as bad as I may think. Maybe there is something worth listening to."

No. Not on "Octagon.” It's a trap. It lures the listener with a cool fucking front cover of a chaos star/pentagram drawn in blood on some blue stone and it exposes them to some of the worst retro 90's thrash you can imagine. I mean, I can expect this kind of shitty wannabe-thrash from a band like Chimaira on Roadrunner who took all the groove out of their music and wanted to attempt at thrash. I can expect Pantera trying their hardest to even make-up for releasing "Reinventing The Steel". Hell, I even expect modern-day Exodus for releasing this and having their record label hype the piece of shit up at the best thrash metal album ever even though that have hyped up every Exodus release since "Pleasures Of The Flesh" as the best thrash metal album of all time. But for Quorthon, this album comes off as nothing more than a cash-in on shitty fucking thrash metal.

The production is dry. It's clear but it's just dry. No bass. The drums can barely be heard. The guitars? Fuck that shitty guitar tone. It's so fucking stock-sounding. Everything about the sound production and style is just pure shit. I can express how goddamn awful it just enrages me to the point of nausea and headache. And let's not go into the lyrics. I mean Quorthon is no Shakespeare but goddamn bro....YOU'RE NOT 16 YEARS OLD. You're a fully grown adult. I mean just look at these lines;

"Conservatism. Communism. Paganism. Nationalsocialism
Liberalism. Satanism. Christianity. Slavery. Anarchy. Lunacy.
Insanity. Mediocracy. Assorted Century." - Century

"Authority. Society. Parents. Teachers. Employees and God.
Authority. Society. Parents. Teachers. Employees and God.
Fade into grey. Fade into grey. Fade into grey." - Grey

and finally the coup de' grace;

"Drink my cum. Take my rum.
Blooded hole. Twisted soul.
Eat my shit. Suck my dick. " - 33 Something

The songs range from wannabe-Dark Angel to wannabe Hardcore Punk in the way Pantera covered Poison Idea. More or less Corrosion of Conformity minus the Slayer riffs....wait, there are a lot of bad Slayer riffs that...god, what or who the fuck am I trying to explain this to? It's just really HORRIBLE fucking music. But beyond all that I have painfully described, the worst part of "Octagon" is Quorthon's vocals. Quorthon's vocals is a sign of a man who desperately wants his fame back and it trying to be cool with the kids in 1995, but unfortunately for him, nobody told him that grunge and alternaive was what the kids were banging then. And even in the extreme metal underground in 1995, the very music he helped created had already progressed to violent extremes and was on the beginning of a third wave of artists who were about to take black metal even further. The song titles themselves are fucking pointless; "Schizianity"??? Hey Quorthon, you may try to bash Christianity, but Trouble never had trouble coming up with material. Not to mention your attempt at trying to sound like fucking Dave Mustaine/ doesn't help.

Oh and a KISS cover? Fuck you Quorthon. That's all there is to say.

I cannot name one decent track on this album. Yeah it's that terrible. If you are a fan of Lamb of God, Chimaria, newer Exodus, or newer bands that are passed off as Thrash, you may like this....otherwise avoid this piece of shit album like an Egyptian plague.