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Raped By A Bass - 31%

GuntherTheUndying, August 2nd, 2008

Trying new ideas can sometimes result in golden rewards or an embarrassing episode like shitting your pants in public, which probably explains why an overwhelming chunk of metal bands will never dare what Markus Grosskopf’s Bassinvaders have attempted: power metal with four bass guitars, a drum kit, and nothing else. Sounds pretty strange, huh? Well, that’s nothing compared to who joins his screwy conception: Tom Angelripper of Sodom, Schmier from Destruction, Rage’s Peter Wagner, and a varied cocktail of guest musicians that are also legendary. Anyone want bass-driven power metal featuring several great artists of unlikely origins? You know, that wouldn’t sound bad, so YES PLEASE!

Well, Bassinvaders looks pretty sweet at hindsight, yet actually hearing their debut destroys all beginning charms; indeed, the effort dies right away. In blunt terms, Grosskopf’s process exploits every wrongdoing you’d expect when previewing a bass-only release. Of course, today’s instrument comes off in all forms, which surprisingly works well during speedy tunes and soloing, but those characteristics only help a handful of numbers. The rest, however, reveals unsatisfying strings layered over generic percussion, and doing so limits Bassinvaders to an album stuck with muddy foundations. Quite clearly, the use of bass in all registers lifts select tunes like “Armageddon” rather blissfully, yet its utter dominance plagues much more than it could primordially rescue, or even aid remotely. Once realizing how neat “Hellbassbeaters” appears, you’ll shortly discover how bland it is; surely, no point has been made.

Likewise, the record’s remaining stability begins devouring itself once the faction’s invisible pittances submit equal value on a musical measure. Essentially, each track borrows a verse-chorus pattern that literally copies the identities from descending and ascending productions. From these one-dimensional steps, we are left with the following: constant repetition, horrible singing on everyone’s behalf, predictable structures, little change between songs, and backing vocals worth a bag of rotten apples. I mean just witnessing awful transitions and poor choruses on “Godless Gods” or “Romance in Black” proves there is no seriousness behind this project, except the egotistical demonstration of bass thumping without intelligence. Make it end, Odin!

Through countless instances of clunking, clanking, chugging, and chopping; Bassinvaders shows us how an all-bass circus can manufacture, and more importantly, why the projection hasn’t occurred very often. Now it’s quite evident Markus Grosskopf and friends couldn’t assemble these bass-orientated numbers like clockwork, and “Hellbassbeaters” unsurprisingly fails overall from reasons too obvious for simple analysis. It is quite disappointing, because a bass-only CD honestly sounds interesting, but it was crafted by wrong minds, which led to bad ideas, and then this album. Really, I suggest spending your money on something else, but feel free to check out a few tunes if that four-stringed instrument controls your damn mind.

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