Rise to Offend

At the point of writing this review, Anvil Bitch were (yes, I said "were", as in, not an active group anymore, ya dig?!) an American thrash metal band. And well, to be totally honest with anyone reading this, I guess this particular album just barely makes it through the pathway of being just that. I mean, sure, it does have the characteristics of thrash metal, but of the "thinnest" and "sluggish", not to mention "laziest", forms of that. I mean, this sounds pretty "tame". But it's not entirely bad. It's just far from being a memorable release, that's all. It's slightly below average for me. But as an entry-level release, it could have went either way.

The production is everything, but crisp. I mean, come-on, this is like, low, low-budget lo-fi right now. But without any audio distortion. It just really flat, like beer that's no longer enjoyable. However, I don't exactly mind this flaw during this particular time. I could at least crank the volume and it wouldn't feel overpowering to my ears doing so. Because with the production being so fucking flat, with louder volume, it wouldn't change the fact that it still sounds excessively flat. So, it's like making something bigger, without the beef being enhanced, if...that...makes...sense...?

Never heard of this band until today, so that's why I'm writing a review about their album. I thought I might as well see why this record doesn't do so well. And honestly, it's mainly, for me, the production is the biggest issue. But again, I don't mind that. It's just that, even for an album of this era, you could at least expect a little bit more from it, right? The instrumentals have no in-depth sound. So, what am I supposed to say about it? I guess, well, very little. I guess the rhythm and leads have some creative themes in them. But it's not exactly like they've brought anything new to the thrash metal scene, realistically. Riffs are typical, but the song tempos are rather slower than traditional thrash metal. I think "melodic thrash metal" fits the band's status a lot better, honestly.

The bass is so garbage in this release, it's like hearing a boombox from Japan while being in North America, that's how I describe it. It's like a distant form of noise, rather than being a consistent thing in the release itself. Kind of sad how much potential was lost during this record's production. The drums sound like sandbags being shot with a lot of bullet holes from the Cold War era. Really dull-sounding. A better example would be a brand-new, non-sharpened pencil and stabbing it into someone's ankle, almost like how it was in Evil Dead, sometime in the 1980's, or whatever. If you need a better example, just take silverware and bang them on empty water jugs. The vocals are typical, too. More in the high-range. But the vocals themselves sound more like classic heavy metal or even power metal (with a scratchy-like tone in some cases, too), compared to the thrash metal genre. Kind of strange. But it's my opinion, why you gettin' so triggered, huh?

The most original thing this album has, is the artwork and the style of it. I really like the creative-style of, what appears to be, an oil-based painting of a young child in her youth, wielding an...axe? Gee, she probably doesn't even have the physical strength to even swing it toward anyone, even if it was only a six-pound blade. I seriously miss the old-school artistic-like visuals that painters or illustrators used for metal bands, back in the day. Now, it's all photoshop and powerless idiots who sit on their ass for a living and let the computer tank-in all the, so-called "creative abuse". And what's even sadder about that is, people these days get paid more for doing less. Back at a time when artworks where being made like this, you'd get paid much less for the great effort. Now, we're lucky to see even five people around who even know about this release or the cover-art that came with it. Sad times we live in, I blame technology and the people backing it.

In a nutshell, I do enjoy this album more than I dislike it. I think the effort was present, but wasn't executed nearly as well as it could have been. I think everyone involved in the album's release, did in fact, have good intentions at the time, but it just didn't playout too hot. Which is a bit of a shame. I wished I could like this more, but hey, it's a decent B-class release, for those of you who may want to try listening to this record. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention this earlier...but...uh... This album hasn't had a review in almost ten years, so I wanted to give it one for that reason as well. Not that you care, but I do. So, don't be rude about it.

Yeah, I think I'd probably buy this in a CD store, but it's probably been out of print for decades. So, why bother? At least YouTube can provide those newly-added "Topic" tracks that most bands seem to feature these days, kind of cool. But I'll probably forget about this band eventually, even though I thought it wasn't that bad at all. Let's recap, flat production, decent creativity, good ideas, poor execution, but the effort was at least attempting to be applied, just not well enough. OK, the end...