Red Shot One, No Two, Three, Four, Thousands!

Animae Capronii is up there with some of the worst music I’ve ever heard. Some bands release crap and die shortly after, but nothing is stopping Cesare Sannino from churning out abysmal recordings one after the other. His most productive year was 2008, and thankfully when this particular album was released I was in Boot Camp for the US Army, so I was productive, too. Now two years later I have to face what I avoided, and what I’m hearing isn’t pretty stuff.

I’ve never noticed this project have good production standards, but this one is easily a step up from the recordings before. The past releases were horrific rehearsal tracks tacked together unprofessionally, quickly, and without time to think through what was being put together. The same can generally be said about the music on this album, but longer songs and less experimentation makes what I’m hearing here less confusing and just more redundant. Going back to the production, it’s pretty typical bedroom noise up close and with poor mixing between the instruments (yes, this is a step up from before). Nothing comes together to create a central sound, with the drums (machine?) in particular being extra mechanical with the drum bass. Those tinny hats and plastic snares don’t fit whatsoever, yet they’re probably the most normal thing I am hearing.

Cesare can get carried away with the vocals long before you can figure out what the hell is going on. His usual style includes growling and screaming choked and mishandled by the shoddy production. Nothing separates him from the endless supply of MySpace jerkoffs that bought their first recorder and began screaming into it next to their computer desktop. A lot of times he’ll be talking or emitting clean singing with that thick accent of his, but it, too, is muffled and altered electronically on this piss-poor recorder he’s using. Nothing’s emotional or intimidating, but bat-like and very childish – he sounds like a friggen’ fourteen year old trying to pull off screamo vocals.

What’s always been a part of Animae Capronii isn’t the riffs like one would expect, but the keys. Now these keys do play some pretty sweet melodies, but they’re still executed and recorded horrible on a despicably low-budget Casio from what I can tell. Maybe not – maybe it’s something borrowed from Cesare’s church for all I know – it’s just unbearable and overused to the point where it kills the atmosphere instead of aiding it. You figure paying attention to the guitars would help, but that’s impossible since the keys are so loud, up front, and always playing. The worst offender is the Nighwish cover… just… oh my god…

With the guitars, the tone is pretty good for second wave black metal standards - that serrated sound with backing power that could chisel through rocks. Well, it sounds like that at first, but keep listening and it will turn into a collage of cheap feedback effects sloppily played from a contemptible Fender amp. Just a horribly thin sound screeching toward your ears as you try to notice some riffs. With “Dragons Of The Winternight” I’m hearing the rhythm with a decent tone backed up by the bass, but the leads screech and moan endlessly in hard rock fashion! YIKES! With bass support sporadic and unreliable, there’s not much that could stop Cesare from playing those leads how he wants to, which is scarier than Zarach Baal Tharagh releasing a good song.

I’ve heard it all from this guy, now. I’ve heard his worst album, and then I go to hear another one and it ends up becoming worse than the last one. No album this guy can record will ever be good. They say never judge a book by its cover, but fuck that, this is one band that you can see and know will suck the big ones. I understand that Cesare doesn’t have the biggest budget or the best skills, but that’s his problem. If you suck at songwriting, recording, and playing, then don’t do any of it. Just put this shit to rest and end it before you become the next generation’s Zarach Baal Tharagh.