In the Name of the Father

There's no fucking way I could have guessed Altar was around in the 80's because this album sounds like polished run of the mill Pavement bullshit, which it is. In the Name of the Father is THE flattest, most insipid death inspired thrash I've come across in years of being ripped off by mass graves, er..labels like Pavement (I've learned to steer clear). I've never heard thrash played so lifelessly, I mean it's the apex of all the headbanging that metal brings us, it's called THRASH for heavens sake, and Altar somehow screws this seamless formula up. They make it fucking boring. On with it...

First the vocals. Sheer mediocrity. This guy is no vocalist. He is talking with a 'metal' emphasis at the end of each line. Give me aggression, give me some classic operatic theatrics, at least give me a voice reminds me of Fred Durst a little less. But no, hardcore tough guy recitations is all you get. The music is the other equally horrendous feature of this album which has two horrendous features, vocals and music. Oh wait..yeah, it fully sucks. Dull, flat pointless riffs with even less creative and more formulaic blast beating. So fucking ineffective. You've never heard blast beats abused and so pointlessly to this extent. This music is DULL. What really puts this showcase of mediocracy over the top is the insanely juvenile, look at us metal dudes utilization of satanism and tough guy shiznit. Check this,

I cum all over your face

Then take you from behind

Reign in Blood from Slayer

is blasting through my mind.

Are these not the most retarded lyrics you've ever heard? If you say no then you're a goddamn liar, because just the other day I read in the Encycopedia Britannica that these are the most retarded lyrics ever composed.

This is the absolute shittiest rendition of thrash I've ever heard, and likely in existence, though my sources only include a fondness of quality metal, an ability to differentiate between good and crap metal, and a staggering ability to identify pussy metal when I hear it. There are no positive qualities to this album. Just stick to non-pussies Slayer for a good dose of Satanic thrash.