Witchtanic Hellucinations

Acid Witch are a modern doom metal group with members hailing from Finland and the US. The general idea of the band is to bring back simplistic death/doom with classic doom touches. They also attempt to resurrect the horror/occult based themes of bands past, which in their case takes the form of cartoon witches, goofy humour and the kind of B-movie aesthetic one should expect from a band affiliated with the goofballs at Razorback Records. As ambitious as an attempted revival of gritty, filthy old school death/doom may be, the poor fellas in Acid Witch miss their mark completely on "Witchtanic Hellucinations" (the album title, cover and track titles should give fair warning as to how bad it is). They produce some wretchedly cheesy, weak, juvenile crap that's better suited for "horror metal" kiddies who dig stuff like Frightmare and Blood Freak than fans of the death/doom of olde.

The production here is thin, weak, and overly digital, sounding like it was recorded on some guy's computer. This results in the music having little to no thickness or fullness, and none of the mucky and murky filth they seem to promise with imagery of caves and dank, disgusting places inhabited by fat ugly witches. Instead we get a weak guitar tone with riffs that sound more like a teenage kid fucking around with power chords and palm mutes than thought out songs. What we need here is filthy, pounding, bone chilling, blood-curdling insanity and they give us something that sounds like it's out of a high school talent show. The bass is equally unimpressive, adding little to nothing to the heaviness of the rhythm, barely diverging from the guitar riffs (which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't suck) and never bringing anything remotely interesting to the table. The drums don't particularly shine either, adding to the annoyance and mediocrity of the sound. The vocals are yet another letdown, essentially consisting of guttural burps and weak attempted growls (where there should be puke drenched screams and sickening rasps). The delay and reverb on the vocals, while a good idea is just another attempt to create an atmosphere they're incapable of creating. Admittedly at a few points on the album they briefly hit their stride with a thick chord ringing out, but it's quickly stifled by piss-poor songwriting and dinky moronic riffs that follow. I also salute their attempt at infusing occult-themed Italian prog-like synths and classic doom metal type riffs into their sound, but this also falls flat and really fails to provide any atmosphere to this rinky dink internet band.

Acid Witch at first seemed to have the potential to be a good or at least amusing band, but one shouldn't go to the assorted dingbats at Razorback Records for their doom metal. They sound like little more than a bedroom project slapped together by poor, immature musicians that set the bar much much higher than they could ever attain. Fans of the assorted modern "horror metal" bands out there will at least have a chuckle at these guys, as they're so gimmicky and weak they shouldn't attract much in the way of fans. Everyone else should recognize them for the piss-poor musicians they are, and doom metal fans should likely be insulted at their childish tomfoolery. Death/doom is best left in the past. Attempts at revivals of classic genres are most often disastrous, and when you get two wingnuts in Halloween masks trying it you know it's gonna suck. Keep away from this steaming turd if you know what's good for ya.