What are the strings attached to? Do they go right through the dude's fingers? If so, ouch.

Lady Godiva's horseriding lessons


Get lost Derrick, you can't compare with Rick's powers.

I think the main thing bringing it down are the band members forcibly drawn on the cover.

Even worse. Also, OzzyApu is right. The font is fucked. The title is nearly unreadable.

Now for some more atrocities.


Kittie - Until the End
Neat idea, crummy execution.


Marduk - World Funeral
"Paper!" they exclaim in unison.
"Fuck, another tie."


Repugnant - Epitome of Darkness
Despite literally being made of metal, transmission towers are not (death) metal.

Here's an especially egregious one:

Kreator - Pleasure to Kill
Apparently the artwork of Kreator's first four just doesn't cut it these days. Noise records have decided to gussy up their reissues with the blood splatters and bits of metal missing from the originals.

I hate it when reissues take a perfectly good cover and add extra text or graphics to it. I don't think I've seen a single example of that in which the artwork was improved in any way.

I've appreciated some reissues with brand new artwork, though as far as I remember it's always been albums that had crappy art to begin with. This isn't universally true (i.e. the half-assed revision of Razor's Shotgun Justice). I can put up with changing a logo, but draw the line at gaudy additions like that Kreator. A shame considering the righteousness of the original art.

I bet someone has already posted this, but I couldn't find it in the recent pages, so now I present to you: Magic Kingdom's The Arrival (spoiler because of size)



But the best part is that the CGI girl is also put on the back of the jewel case with the band, as if they actually thought that she'd fit in (spoiler because of size)

That band member on the right just screams "I'm from a 90's alt-rock band".

NSFW:


https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/B ... gio/233475

From a physicist's point of view, it's ridiculous how such "fairy wings" appendages are usually drawn so tiny that they could never lift & carry a person who's obviously of regular human size and weight.

This message is not meant to revive the elephant trunk size argument from earlier on, funny as that was.

oh man, Railway! I have their first two albums... :/



"finally back" in 2009, vast advances in graphic design since the 80s/90s, yet the best we could do was a logo over a stock image...



https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/R ... ack/350874

///



Queensrÿche: "here is another piece of artwork for "The Warning" back in 1984 that didn't make the cut!!"

source: https://www.facebook.com/QueensrycheOff ... 582713893/

Sorry if these are repeats.

I submit the Candlelight version of The Work Which Transforms God. It's not an appalling design, but agh, the pixels! I could've done it better with MS Paint!* I bought the Debemur Morti version just so I wouldn't have to see it. Because I am a total friggin' nerd.



I was tempted to get Nachtfalke's First Battles compilation, partly because the original art for Hail Victory Teutonia is pretty juvenile as well. (But I found the albums individually for less.)



*Actually, since I'm bored enough, here's an attempt! (Okay, I didn't only use MS Paint. I also used Word, and of course, Google Images for the Vitruvian Man.)



Still pretty shitty, but at least it's sort of cleaner.

you don't know where to place your 777s and your pentagrams... you would never conjure even a minor demon...

Heretic - Angelcunts and Devilcocks [NSFW]

At least it lives up to its name.

Heretic - Black Metal Holocaust

These guys just can't catch a break. It looks like Halloween clip art placed over a crummy polaroid with a cheap fade effect that seems to suggest a spotlight.

"So, does that look evil then?" is what I read from his doubtful face and insecure hand posture.

I imagine the photographer saying, "Now open your fingers slightly so it looks like you're clutching an invisible object. No, keep the right hand clenched--we want to cover all bases." Also, looks like he's starting to perform an unenthusiastic pelvic thrust.

Can we also ask the question as to what he thought was cool about using the word 'holocaust'? I mean, is he planning on killing the genre with how good his black metal is? Did he just want to infer thoughts of death and killing and thought that would inspire someone to buy his album? Does he know the 'h' is lower cased?

"uhhh...satan?"

Clearly his life is not truly devoted to the service of Satan.

Looks like that poor fella got bit by the Sumerian Rat Monkey.

Looks like the Australian band Undinism has a magnificent masterwork of a cover for their latest compilation:

Oh my god

is that elephantiasis

Most likely.
That cover does not tempt me at all to check out the music, though. That shit is ugly even by grindcore standards.

I'vealways had a liking for their split EP with Gonkulator, even though the latter are clearly my preferred side - insanity > depravity.

I think we're talking about different bands. Either that or the split was erroneously added.

Black Sabbath - Paranoid - What's this guy anyway?

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/4/8/5/485.jpg?3021

Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast - The devil looks like Merman from the He-man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/7/5/75.jpg

Slayer - Show no Mercy - Simply bad

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/2/0/7/207.jpg?0639

Venom - Possessed - Lazily done, just a photograph in black and white and negative

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/8/6/4/864.jpg

Thou Art Lord - Apollyon - Badly designer, looks like someone did it on Paint Brush

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/1/0/3/4/10343.jpg?3147

Children of Bodom - Hatebreeder - Just a dude with a robe

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/5/8/58.jpg?1020

Children of Bodom - Follow the Reaper - The same dude with a robe, in the same photo-shoot

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/6/0/60.jpg?3239

Cavalera Conspiracy - Pandemonium - WTF is this?

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/4/4/9/4/449417.jpg?1131

Destruction - All Hell Breaks Loose - Weird

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/4/3/0/6/4306.jpg?0857

Destruction - The Least Successful Human Cannonball - Bad

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/1/2/6/4/12649.jpg

Pantera - Metal Magic - Seriously.. WTF!? Is that Pink Panther?

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/2/2/5/225.jpg?3713

not sure if you're trolling, Buried Dreamer, but please learn how to embed images. click the "Img" button on the posting page, then place the link inbetween you do have a point for thou fart lord tho and oh gosh did the cavalera conspiracy really use that?

///

spoiler for size


https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/W ... oid/385849

listen: https://waverlyliesnorthband.bandcamp.com/

I actually like that Cavalera Conspiracy cover if only for the fact that it's so colorful.

I feel the same for A Blaze in the Northern Sky

He's most likely trolling or is very, very young (uneducated), describing the globally super well-known and common Death/grim reaper as "just a dude in a robe".

I feel like the focus on "angelcunts" and "devilcocks" would not lead me to an assumption of anal intercourse. Seems like Angelasses would have been more accurate.

I wasn't trolling, I tried the img thing, but some images are too damn large and I thought it could be a nuisance. Next time I'll use the spoiler tag.



Well, he is.

I am not very young, having seen more than a dozen winters, and this grim reaper looks too fat. It makes me think of a lazy Darth Sidious. It doesn't look very menacing anyway. Really, in their last albums artwork the reaper looks way better, check it out. Even the first disc looks great. My rant is that it is too damn easy to take a photograph of a fat dude dressed in some halloween's costume in front of a styrofoam gravestone, add a blue or green mask over it and call it a day.

Actually kind of disturbing.

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/G ... tor/336896

That Gator album rules! I downloaded it from a blog years ago and it rocks hard.

Funny, I saw it on a blog too! May have been the same one? That's awesome though, I'll have to check it out