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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:14 am 
 

But yeah, this isn't going anywhere. I don't really support rejecting reviews just because the writer doesn't "get it" so long as he makes his points with something approaching coherency and at least attempts to back up his points. We can only police things so much, and part of the beauty of the review feature on the site here is that we have relatively lenient guidelines regarding actual content, which grants some room for objectivity.

I reject a lot of reviews, but I think of it as a way to help some of you guys improve more than anything, but I only do it if there is a valid reason, and there really isn't one in this case.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:16 am 
 

Quit crying. It's a lame review and the writer is dumb but it passes the requirements so that's really the end of it. We don't censor extraordinarily shitty opinions, as much as, believe me, every single one of us would like to do.
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:25 am 
 

A'ight fair enough.

It was probably too painful for me to look at, but the way you put it makes sense, oh well.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:32 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Morbid_Angel/Gateways_to_Annihilation/324/noinnocentvictim/21329

Bit short on musical description if you'd ask me, spends like 4-5 sentences on the music in a multiple paragraph review, the rest is useless blattering on how repetitive/boring/wrong the album is.

Ps. Sorry for double post.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:05 pm 
 

I don't think that warrants nuking. Solid grammar and formatting too. There are way worse....
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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PhilosophicalFrog
The Hypercube

Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 pm
Posts: 7631
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:58 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/J ... bee1/23657


i dunno if it should be nuked or not, but he basically says that Judas Iscariot sucks for non-musical reasons, and then basically describes a black metal demo. It just seems like the guy doesn't know what black metal demos are...
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║░▒║with this blade
║░▒║i cut those who
║░▒║disrespect
║░▒║Carly Rae Jepsen
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:21 pm 
 

Shit review, returned to sender.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:39 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/E ... eltd/87356

the most descriptive part of this review is "it sounds like windir if windir was terrible". there's little to no description of the music, just a high school diatribe on how shit, annoying, lame, etc it is. his other reviews aren't much better, either.

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doomster999
Keeper of the Dreary Realm

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:58 am
Posts: 991
Location: India
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:16 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... reif/28158

First of all, there's a basic spelling mistake in the title itself.

Most of his review is based on how he misses their old style and the music found on Monotheist is 'slow'. He even described it as 'non-metal' (hah!):

Quote:
The music is slow. Its so doom filled that it almost isn’t metal. Well, it is metal – but it is very slow and ambient.


That's quite two-faced and clearly from his taste it's apparent that he's into faster sounding stuff (thrash, groove, melo-death, metalcore etc.). Presumably he considers Black Sabbath hard rock.

There are a lot of quality reviews available for Monotheist, especially autothrall's impeccable review and I don't think anyone will miss this dude's clumsy review.
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Infact I use to have a relly hot friend from there but unfurtunetly the last party we have I was really wasted and grab her ass and it cause a huge problem. Her dad (that is a marine) wants to ripp my nuts... thinks are not the same...

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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:27 pm 
 

^ another problem with that review is that the subject is less the album, and more the reviewer himself. what he wanted, what he prefers, etc. and this seems to be common in a lot of bad reviews - the reviewer spends far too long talking about him/herself. it can't always be helped, and some reviewers (if clever enough) can really make that kinda thing work, especially if it's funny... but when you're just doing it because you can't actually write to save your life... yeah.

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NoKnownName
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:39 pm
Posts: 216
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:32 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... ucus/19369
From the ancient past of 2004. No spacing, poor grammar, track by track, etc. Basically, the kind of thing that you find in Crappy Diem.
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Last edited by Metantoine on Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Boom.

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Goatfangs
58.2% Metal

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2804
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:47 pm 
 

Woolie_Wool wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
That review was so bad that I actually navigated the main site on my phone to nuke it. Do you have any idea how Herculean of a task that is? It was THAT bad.

I actually kind of want to read it now, just to see how bad it is.


Here you go courtesy of Google cache. Beware, it even made Google retarded for a moment.

Spoiler: show
Artist- Re-Animator
Name- Condemned To Eternity
Year- 1990
Label- Under One Flag
Producer- Unknown

Songwriting- 7/10- standard thrash fare, but very well put together, even (gasp) catchy sometimes.

Vocals- 8/10- impressive. sounding similar to Chuck Billy a lot of the time (which is a good thing), the vocal deliverey is always good.

Guitar(s)- 9.5/10- awesome. simply awesome. great riffs, and lots of them. solos, harmonies, all kinds of great shit is shown here. the structures of the songs are great as well, with mountains of riffs and some time and tempo changes. im really diggin the tone as well.

Bass- 6/10- this album suffers from the same problem most 80's early 90's thrash albums did: you simply cannot hear the bass. every once in a while you'll catch glimpses, but for the most part i couldnt even tell you if it was good or not.

Drums- 8/10- thrash drummers are known for being very talented, and this guy is no exception. what he has that ive noticed other thrash drummers lacking though is taste. i wouldnt say hes amazing by any means, but really good.

Additional Instruments- N/A

Production- 8.5/10- other than the bass problem, great. especially the guitar tone, as i mentioned earlier.

Overall- 9/10 (90/100)- thrashy as hell, well put together, and consitantly entertaining, these guys know how to rock. i highly recommend it for a fan of thrash looking for more great bands to check out.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:40 pm 
 

Goatfangs wrote:
Here you go courtesy of Google cache. Beware, it even made Google retarded for a moment.

Spoiler: show
Artist- Re-Animator
Name- Condemned To Eternity
Year- 1990
Label- Under One Flag
Producer- Unknown

Songwriting- 7/10- standard thrash fare, but very well put together, even (gasp) catchy sometimes.

Vocals- 8/10- impressive. sounding similar to Chuck Billy a lot of the time (which is a good thing), the vocal deliverey is always good.

Guitar(s)- 9.5/10- awesome. simply awesome. great riffs, and lots of them. solos, harmonies, all kinds of great shit is shown here. the structures of the songs are great as well, with mountains of riffs and some time and tempo changes. im really diggin the tone as well.

Bass- 6/10- this album suffers from the same problem most 80's early 90's thrash albums did: you simply cannot hear the bass. every once in a while you'll catch glimpses, but for the most part i couldnt even tell you if it was good or not.

Drums- 8/10- thrash drummers are known for being very talented, and this guy is no exception. what he has that ive noticed other thrash drummers lacking though is taste. i wouldnt say hes amazing by any means, but really good.

Additional Instruments- N/A

Production- 8.5/10- other than the bass problem, great. especially the guitar tone, as i mentioned earlier.

Overall- 9/10 (90/100)- thrashy as hell, well put together, and consitantly entertaining, these guys know how to rock. i highly recommend it for a fan of thrash looking for more great bands to check out.

Wait, THAT existed on the archives? :lol: The thought of BH seeing that and feverishly logging in with frustration to see it passed out of existence is great haha.
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DCCLXXVII
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:04 pm
Posts: 212
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:55 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/A ... rt/154438/

There's a difference between hate speeches and reviews.
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EyesOfGlass
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:59 pm
Posts: 186
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 11:43 am 
 

DCCLXXVII wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Agathothodion/Kan_Guds_Gjort/154438/

There's a difference between hate speeches and reviews.

I don't think it's that bad. It's true that the first three paragraphs are almost unnecessary, I don't want to know this dude's opinion on Christianity or its impact in Afghanistan or Iran. But once he's done with that, there's actually enough musical description as to give you a first impression of what the album sounds like. I get the feeling that you want it to get nuked just because his opinion on Christianity more than the review itself.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 11:46 am 
 

Decent review, that's not going anywhere. Grow a thicker skin if you want to constantly talk about religion on a metal forum.
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:05 pm 
 

DCCLXXVII wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Agathothodion/Kan_Guds_Gjort/154438/

There's a difference between hate speeches and reviews.

"People won't irrationally jump to calling something 'a review' if it paints something they support in a bad light"?

Look, man, I don't personally have any ill feelings towards Christianity or religion in general, so I don't say this with any sort of malice. But frankly, coming here and expecting people to be nice and respectful towards Christianity is only slightly less nonsensical than attempting to sell the merits of your religion on ISIS.
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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 2056
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:14 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Decent review, that's not going anywhere. Grow a thicker skin if you want to constantly talk about religion on a metal forum.


I agree. The whole so called unblack metal or christian black metal is going to be met with miles and miles of negative criticism. Allowing it to bother you will take up most of your time. If you want to listen to music with only lyrics that preach Jesus, that is your choice. If you listen to music that sounds like black metal but praises Jesus, be prepared for the negative comments that will be made about such bands.
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Diamhea wrote:
TrooperEd wrote:
Edit: fuck it this whole thing is bait anyway.


Like your reviews?

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:22 pm 
 

I personally probably wouldn't have accepted it because I'm a huge proponent of "Oh my god who cares seriously shut up" and he spends just way to much fucking time on that subject, but I wouldn't have rejected it either. I'd've let it sit before somebody else made their judgment. Yeah DS, you've really got to get better at this, that was the most thinly veiled and least convincing "This guy doesn't like my religion so please make him go away" I've ever seen.
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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:41 pm 
 

i'm not a big fan of the dude's grammar - i dunno if i'd go as far as rejecting it, but i'd probably give him a "fix it up and we'll post it" or something.

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bug_man
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 12:11 am
Posts: 377
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:22 am 
 

DanFuckingLucas wrote:
fuck this shit - 30%
Written by Sportswear on March 8th, 2004

LMAO!!! hahaha, fuck what Deicide have done in the past. This is fucking terrible. The stop start riffs were designed for the mall indeed. They think that by releasing press reports like "We are going back to our old style" will honestly sway real metalheads opinions into thinking this audio turd is actually listenable? O_O They must be fucking joking. The stop starts are not even technical, so that cannot be used as an excuse, instead, they are weak and bland so-called rehashed old skool Deicide. The supposed good parts being the old skool rehashed riffs but just a shade of what they haev achieved, the vocals definitely the good part of the CD, they are indeed old skool but are far from saving this piece of turd of an LP. Just STFU Deicide, forget you released this, and continue to play songs from "Deicide" and "Once Upon The Cross" live and we might just forgive you for this self demeaning, worthless crust of semen entering my CD player. haha, they think that solos that go up and down the fretboard simply make their new music anything to appreciate? haha, what fools. If you were entering the "let's get cool with Fred Durst Comp", then fuck, you would be winners. Fuck you for this release, OOONCE UUUPOOON THEEE CROOOOSSSSs all the fucking way!! Thanks, bye..

He barely describes the music, (which reminds me, I *really* need to edit my "Tempo of the Damned" review) but worst of all... such awful grammar!! The Gestapo is going to be the shit out of him. This is terrible.

this guy is cool and thats a good review imo. i want 2 enter the "let's get cool with Fred Durst Comp"

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bug_man
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 12:11 am
Posts: 377
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:24 am 
 

DCCLXXVII wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Agathothodion/Kan_Guds_Gjort/154438/

There's a difference between hate speeches and reviews.

hes writing the review in character, thats pretty cool

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doomster999
Keeper of the Dreary Realm

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:58 am
Posts: 991
Location: India
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:40 am 
 

doomster999 wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Celtic_Frost/Monotheist/104518/darkreif/28158

First of all, there's a basic spelling mistake in the title itself.

Most of his review is based on how he misses their old style and the music found on Monotheist is 'slow'. He even described it as 'non-metal' (hah!):

Quote:
The music is slow. Its so doom filled that it almost isn’t metal. Well, it is metal – but it is very slow and ambient.


That's quite two-faced and clearly from his taste it's apparent that he's into faster sounding stuff (thrash, groove, melo-death, metalcore etc.). Presumably he considers Black Sabbath hard rock.

There are a lot of quality reviews available for Monotheist, especially autothrall's impeccable review and I don't think anyone will miss this dude's clumsy review.


I'm waiting for an official reaction regarding this review. It's been a week and a half since my post! :old:
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gomorro wrote:
Infact I use to have a relly hot friend from there but unfurtunetly the last party we have I was really wasted and grab her ass and it cause a huge problem. Her dad (that is a marine) wants to ripp my nuts... thinks are not the same...

Last.fm

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 5:10 am 
 

Seems like another case of someone not "getting it". I have to admit the review itself, or the material to be precise, isn't really good, but I'd say the review is on the 'passable' side of the fence, if only a tiny bit. He tries explaining the album and he gets it done decently, it's borderline stuff, best left to the moderators, but I think it's a bit harsh to take it down.

Though I have to admit I'm really getting sick of people reviewing things outside of their scope and then take it down for 'not being their taste', but that's just my opinion.

Oh and besides, I think that the quality of other reviews of an album should in no way have an impact on the 'passability' of a new review.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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doomster999
Keeper of the Dreary Realm

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:58 am
Posts: 991
Location: India
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:05 am 
 

I wouldn't have posted about that if Monotheist had say less than ten reviews but it has been reviewed almost 20 times and that dude's review is relatively old.
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gomorro wrote:
Infact I use to have a relly hot friend from there but unfurtunetly the last party we have I was really wasted and grab her ass and it cause a huge problem. Her dad (that is a marine) wants to ripp my nuts... thinks are not the same...

Last.fm

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:05 am 
 

doomster999 wrote:
I wouldn't have posted about that if Monotheist had say less than ten reviews but it has been reviewed almost 20 times and that dude's review is relatively old.


Yeah, again, that really shouldn't matter. All reviews should be judged individually and the quality of other reviews should in no way be influental to the acceptance of a new review. If it's acceptable it's acceptable, doesn't matter if the album has 2 or 35 reviews.
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:09 am 
 

but the first page of the "read this first!" thread explicitly states otherwise. with good reason, imo.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:09 am 
 

LeMiserable wrote:
Yeah, again, that really shouldn't matter. All reviews should be judged individually and the quality of other reviews should in no way be influental to the acceptance of a new review. If it's acceptable it's acceptable, doesn't matter if the album has 2 or 35 reviews.


To be fair there was something of an unspoken rule about this up until recently. We have sort of backed off a bit, though. Review 'Tallica all you want, but it might rot in the queue for a bit.

EDIT: ^ Wizard
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:21 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Tiamat/The_Astral_Sleep/2227/dismember_marcin/217143

Do I really need to explain?
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tomcat_ha about me bashing BastardHead's musical taste wrote:
i would normally use the saying pot calling the kettle black but in your case its more like a black hole calling a kettle black.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:09 am 
 

Yeah, I asked him to fix that.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:45 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... filer/1587

lol, durrrrrrrr

Spoiler: show
If there is a band that now's allowed to take over the world, it's MH. I was a bit sceptic about this announcment before, but now they are invited to step into my office, where I'll sign a treaty which clears out that "The world is ours, and the UN can kiss our hairy asses"... At least till the next Testament release.

The latest effort of MH is the shotgun's ring which declares of the beginning of the conquest of taking over of whats left from the top of the world's hard-rock-music-still-worth-listenning.

Ofcouse - 1999's The burning Red was quite a disappointment... and Supercharcher ain't worth mentioning, But after listening to their live ablum I've decided that the band is trying to reach mostly their hardcore fans... worth to stay tuned.

The band's new album is 2003 best album in my opinion. It starts with the most aggressive tune since Davidian - or even better. It's starts a little mellow with clean intro - but then rushes into up-bit strikes til the lyrics comes in in a most nasty riff created since BME. Rob Flyns sounds so angrrrrry at the world, at the society that rejected him and his crew in the last few years (and for good reason, Supercharger sucks) and he is back with revange ! Hear him now, or face the fucking consequences. The best part of this song is that it ain't goes downhill after the blasting openning, it's just drives up more and more - through some start-stop assaults, groovie motherfucking guitar works,
and a Davidian-like barrage. Then - just when you think MH got out of riff-arsenal - they pulls out a melodic death metal riff ! Ebony Fucking Tears ! At the fucking gates ! and it goes on ! MH ain't losing it - their harmonies sounds as good as Iron maiden or Metallica - their are the latest best thing ! Phil Dammel goes Wacko !! and the riffs go on ! they keep getting better - more aggressive versions of the chorus, and then a Pantera-like sludgie slimy sucker ! God damn ! If there is a man who lost hope of metal becasue of MH, give him this badger !

next song is Bite the bullet - a catchy little snake, short and furious... afterward comes "Left Unfinished" - aggressive but with a twist - the chorus are cleansed from grunts and aer more singing then ever. Best ! It's had shaken my world abit. honestly - I got tears in my eyes listen to that.

Elegy is the wickest track here - got some nic verse but that's all - it's more sludgie then most of the album.

In the presence of my enemies goes way beyond scary. It's building itself just like Imperium - but even more brooding. Got the most melodic solo and bridges in all of MH career. don't skip that Dammel's solo in the middle of the song, bringing back the glory of the bay-area.

Days turns blue to grey is yet another groovie bouncer with more emotional vocals - a desperate cry thorugh a gentle story about the most bad childhood imaginable. the breakdown is charming and swooped me of my feet.

Vim is a destroyer. it crushes from the top of the double-kick-drums-bangs to the sludgie riff-raff to the verses and ofcourse the climax with half-thrash monster resembling Old.

All fall down is a good song - and the melodic voices brought by Flyn in the breakdown are only an intro to the best ballad MH has ever released - coming right up

Desencd the shades of night is a romantic closer - putting The burning red way beyond. It's starts with an acoustic guitar (???) and the most memorable MH chorus ever written with a beautiful harmonies of FLyn 2-layers voices. grows from aggressive and lost shouting to clean and perfectly-done singing, to the notch of Flyn's voice in a great sing-along. Dammel's solo is a piece of art here and the guitart harmonies leaves you numbed.

Overall - it's probably the best MH release to date - match BME or even better. Don't skip it !

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EyesOfGlass
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:59 pm
Posts: 186
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:09 am 
 

I'm a huge Machine Head fan, but that review is awful. Through the Ashes of Empires wasn't even that good, it did show Flynn wanting to do things right, but he didn't quite achieve it. It also was the first album with Demmel on guitars and he didn't take full advantage of that until the next album. Through the Ashes... only had two or three gems hidden amongst a bunch of mediocre tracks, and the guy talks about it as the definitive Machine Head record.

What was it with that Tiamat review? Now I want to know :/
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LeMiserable
Milhouse van Houten

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:42 am
Posts: 567
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:09 am 
 

Unbearably long wall of text.
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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2247
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:35 pm 
 

i spent the afternoon looking through machine head reviews, and the standard is pretty dismal across the board. that was a particularly horrid review but there are dozens in there of only slightly higher quality, to the point that particularly for the post-the more things change albums, i'd nuke the lot.

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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 6400
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:28 pm 
 

I'd like to address this review: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/C ... tar/324822

Spoiler: show
The last time having paid attention to Cult Of Luna was hearing their sophomore 2003 album, ‘The Beyond’.

To those unfamiliar, the Swedish band play a form of post-hardcore that recalls the intensity of Neurosis and the textures of Isis.

On ‘Vertikal’, Cult Of Luna retain nuances of those rough edges, their polished aggression having something in common with American hardcore act Tragedy, Swedish crust band Disfear, and even more recent Killing Joke.

Of course, the musical narrative is more grandiose and elongated, throwing in hints of electronica and post-rock textures that were similarly explored by Isis on ‘Panopticon’.

Sadly, despite being full of promise, ‘Vertikal’ falls short in some areas, lacking a certain ‘bite’ that makes it pale in comparison to their earlier work and of course, essentials such as ‘Enemy Of The Sun’ and ‘Oceanic’. Where the musical pallete has diversified, the expressiveness has been curtailed.

Additionally, whilst the production is crisp and full of clarity, it sterilizes the aesthetic rather than enhances it. On previous work, a more grainy and muddy distortion was present, but has succumbed to a more filtered, compressed studio treatment.

The arrangement of songs and their layout here seems also quite confused, and the influences, whilst they might certainly indicate a ‘broad-mindedness’ that scores originality points, makes ‘Vertikal’ often a directionless listen.

‘Vicarious Redemption’ for instance, at 19 minutes in length, works with post-rock sublety and crescendo, yet with contrast with the heavy riffs that accompany it, seems unfitting, killing off what could have been a great momentum. It gives the impression that if they had concentrated on one type of mood rather than overemphasized amplitude and dynamics, that the ideas at hand would have paid off better.

A rare exception where things really come together is the song ‘In Awe Of’, where the electronics are prominent, but not overstated. Rather than dealing with the ‘soft-hard, gentle-heavy’ dynamic that fails on ‘Vicarious Redemption’, what few good moments there are on ‘Vertikal’ seem to work better when the contrasts are streamlined and played in accordance with one another.

Whilst an increase in subtlety may be welcome, this filtering out of aggression makes Cult Of Luna’s new work more indulgent than it is an exploration, and comes across as if it’s utterly failing to make any point artistically.

OK, so it's the only negative review for the album. But it's just so horrid that I have to mention it here. I mean, notwithstanding the horrible "Engrish" in which it was written, with the guy's hilarious use of "big words" when he can't even use the correct syntax or verbal times, there's quite a few factual errors. I mean, the guy can't make a fucking sentence work!

Anyway, I'd like to know what similarities exist between COL and Tragedy, or even more, with Disfear. Where's the motherfucking D-beat bro? Is COL a crust punk band now?! OK, what else... Oh yeah, they're apparently a post-hardcore band, but they sound like two very different crust bands. Go figure. Oh, and apparently Vertikal's production is miles away from the other albums'. Fine, I'll grant him that one in regard of the first two, but afterwards the production has always been clean as a whistle. I think he's still listening to Enemy Of The Sun. Could someone please explain to me how "electronics are prominent, but not overstated"? I'd like to understand how electronic elements can be overstated. Please.

Oh shit I forgot. How about that for "paragraph" formatting? :nono:

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:51 pm 
 

That Machine Head one is from 2004, I mean we can point out a million reviews from that time period that are no longer acceptable. Seems like overkill to me...

The Cult of Luna was accepted in March of this year, which totally baffles me as it was 1. illegible and 2. the formatting was irrefutably flawed. I returned that one to sender.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:29 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
That Machine Head one is from 2004, I mean we can point out a million reviews from that time period that are no longer acceptable. Seems like overkill to me...


Standards change and sometimes we clean house. Plus it's a wretched track-by-tracker. Not even a second thought on my part, it's been vaporized in swath of nuclear hellfire.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:38 pm 
 

Nasty!
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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DCCLXXVII
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:04 pm
Posts: 212
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:10 pm 
 

One paragraph of excellent engrish is coming your way.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/F ... icht/51513
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:17 pm 
 

I usually feel really bad when I see reviews getting rejected or nominated for deletion for simply being too short, because come on, not all of us need to write like Nightgaunt, but that wasn't even six full lines and it still managed to be a track by track somehow. Frickin' 05
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