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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4473
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:14 pm 
 

...And yet another lame review hopping on the giving the first WtC album a 0% bandwagon. I wouldn't be surprised if his next review was a 0% for Enmity, as well. :roll:
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:25 pm 
 

Yup, that one was fairly atrocious. I like how he opens up by basically admitting that he has nothing to add to the public opinion of the band that hasn't already been beaten to dust.
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:50 pm 
 

I kind of wish somebody else would at least try to be original with their review of it, like when I wrote my negative review from the position of a scene kid who absolutely loved the album. At this point, there is literally nothing original to be said about the album from the perspective of objective exposition.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:00 am 
 

Oh god, it is awful. The hell did I just read? That's the kind of review you write when you're a teenager, see it a few years later, and realize it's a terribad piece of ineptly written crap. Ya know, like my old one.

It seems like he listened to just the two internet famous songs from the album and wrote his review without even listening to the rest of it. Considering how badly written and stock he is in describing the album, I wouldn't be surprised if I was correct.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:23 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
I kind of wish somebody else would at least try to be original with their review of it, like when I wrote my negative review from the position of a scene kid who absolutely loved the album. At this point, there is literally nothing original to be said about the album from the perspective of objective exposition.


I've never actually heard a single WtC song, but it's funny to me when people say it's spitting in the face of good music or whatever else...what is the yardstick for 'good music'? Morbid Angel? Iron Maiden? The Beatles?
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:33 am 
 

It's not anything to rile one's panties into a bunch over. It's just crappy slam death is all, and even then there's still worse stuff in that genre than that album. The people that act like it's some major offense against music are kidding themselves.
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Thumbman
Big Cube

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:06 am 
 

Haha didn't you give it 0 at one point?

I don't even think it's THAT bad, it's just not good and the "look how thuggish we are" attitude isn't helping them, although that hardly makes them an anomally in the slam scene. I'd give it a 55-60 or something. It kind of seems like a lot of people who jump on the hate train don't really know that much about slam. There is so much slam that is far, far worse than WtC.
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Subrick
Metal Strongman

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:33 am 
 

Yup, and then I listened to it again last fall and found it not as shitty as I once did. I left my original review of it on Sputnik Music just because it was the 2nd or 3rd review I ever wrote and even though it's a crappy review I don't want it to completely disappear.

MutantClannfear wrote:
I kind of wish somebody else would at least try to be original with their review of it, like when I wrote my negative review from the position of a scene kid who absolutely loved the album. At this point, there is literally nothing original to be said about the album from the perspective of objective exposition.


I re-reviewed it with the overall stance of "Yes, this isn't good, but there's a bazillion albums worse than this". I've not read more than a few reviews for the album that weren't hard line "This sucks every dick in the universe". Reviews giving it a 0% are just as old and overdone as giving The Unspoken King or that Enmity album a 0-10%, and this is from a guy who gave that Enmity album a 0% and still considers it a 0%.

Although to be fair, The Unspoken King deserves scorn far more than the WtC album does. The Unspoken King is a misfire of epic proportions from every conceivable angle, to the point that it's laughable in the sense of "I can't believe they were being serious and I can't stop laughing at it". Just listen to "Bemoan the Martyr" or that impressively bad clean vocal break in "Bound Dead".
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Lane
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:54 am
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Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:24 am 
 

I do not understand how any release can be reviewed, if it wasn't thoroughly listened to, even just once.
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Kveldulfr
Veteran

Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:01 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:41 am 
 

Cmon, TUK by performance and production alone is a better release than WtC demo and debut. Yes, the songs are plagued by -core elements and Mc Gacky's vocals are annoying, but there are some few passable moments, whereas WtC fails in every possible sense: the drumming is all over the place, the 'riffs' are most of time mindless chugs or shitty 1string tremolo crap, the songwriting is absolutely atrocious which emphasize the most terrible and generic aspects of slam and the vocals? My cat can growl with more power and consistency than Campan. Not defending TuK but there's a difference between a bad album by a professional band and a totally terrible album by a wannabe band who can't play and write a shit. I would give TuK a 20% at best and Perverse Recollections would get a 2% at best from me.

A 0% review should be reserved for the absolute nadir of music. Illud Can't get a 0% for example. It's mediocre but not the worst thing in the world and there's at least a couple of decent/not that terrible tracks on it.
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sushiman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 921
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2014 9:27 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Props to sushiman on a damn good review of Skyfire's Spectral. Reminded me that my review for that album is one of the few older ones I never got around to updating/revising, might have to change that someday soon. If you read this, dude, I want you to do the rest of their albums, especially Timeless Departure!


Cheers for that mate. Just seemed like a good time to revisit that record since I used to get so much out of it, and it still stands up pretty strong. Played a bit of Timeless Departure the same night, couldn't help cracking a grin at some of those hyperactive symphonies! Here's hoping I get around to doing the rest (at least the first two), been having a bit of fun recently going back and reviewing old favourites I haven't yet written about.

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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:07 pm 
 

Nice Deranged review Jimmy, very articulate and well put if I might say. ;)

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sushiman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:37 am 
 

Very nice review of the Triumfall/ Insane Vesper split by SLIMER. You clearly know your stuff and have good taste mate! I was also sent a promo of that split so I am now looking forward to getting to grips with it when I make time.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:11 am 
 

sushiman wrote:
Very nice review of the Triumfall/ Insane Vesper split by SLIMER. You clearly know your stuff and have good taste mate! I was also sent a promo of that split so I am now looking forward to getting to grips with it when I make time.


I know, I wish SLIMER would come on here and post, because he has been on quite a tear lately and I, for one, would love to hear his input on other review-related topics.
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sushiman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 4:06 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
sushiman wrote:
Very nice review of the Triumfall/ Insane Vesper split by SLIMER. You clearly know your stuff and have good taste mate! I was also sent a promo of that split so I am now looking forward to getting to grips with it when I make time.


I know, I wish SLIMER would come on here and post, because he has been on quite a tear lately and I, for one, would love to hear his input on other review-related topics.


Aye, review forum seems quieter than the others in general eh. You yourself have been knocking out a lot of good reads lately... something is causing quite a lot of productivity at metal-archives at the moment.

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Diamhea
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:12 am 
 

I can't speak for everyone, but there certainly seems to have been some new blood injected lately (speaking of which, ANOTHER Vulgar Display of Power review right this minute *Groan*). I've actually been active (again) since August, but I had about 70 old reviews I had to rewrite before I started submitting new reviews proper. I'm glad you are enjoying them, as my goal is to maintain quality while still being somewhat regular. I have a ton of material to cover, so I don't suspect that I will run out of goods to review anytime soon. I never took reviewing very seriously until this Fall though, so I can't speak to how it "used to be". I'm just content to do my own thing, I don't expect any praise and I rarely (if ever) receive it, so your words are quite kind and honestly, a bit of a shock.
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sushiman
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:24 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
I can't speak for everyone, but there certainly seems to have been some new blood injected lately (speaking of which, ANOTHER Vulgar Display of Power review right this minute *Groan*). I've actually been active (again) since August, but I had about 70 old reviews I had to rewrite before I started submitting new reviews proper. I'm glad you are enjoying them, as my goal is to maintain quality while still being somewhat regular. I have a ton of material to cover, so I don't suspect that I will run out of goods to review anytime soon. I never took reviewing very seriously until this Fall though, so I can't speak to how it "used to be". I'm just content to do my own thing, I don't expect any praise and I rarely (if ever) receive it, so your words are quite kind and honestly, a bit of a shock.

No joke dawg. I have added your name to the list in my mind that I tend to check out when going through recently posted reviews. Not a big list. As for myself, I've been pretty regular over the years, but have been doing a sort of Swedish special on my blog which, as I mentioned before, somehow encouraged me to do a lot more writing as its stuff from that country I actually have things to say about, rather than wondering what to write about, which is often the case. I'm hoping to maintain the quantity by maybe focusing on some Japanese faves next, then German, then who knows. It has also helped that I've had a bit of time off work while waiting for a visa!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:30 pm 
 

After we posted earlier today, a ton of more reviews are up, and a lot of new faces seem to be amongst them. Let's hope this keeps up, I need some competition and a reason to continue writing. Cool to see twin_guitar_attack and some other semi-familiar faces like Wilytank (who finally got around to that RoB review) trying their hand at it.
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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 4:00 pm 
 

I had some time and got to a lot today. Shame there were a lot of bad ones to reject but a good amount of decent to really good ones up now. And of course another WtC review. :(
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Twin_guitar_attack
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 4:27 am
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:31 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
After we posted earlier today, a ton of more reviews are up, and a lot of new faces seem to be amongst them. Let's hope this keeps up, I need some competition and a reason to continue writing. Cool to see twin_guitar_attack and some other semi-familiar faces like Wilytank (who finally got around to that RoB review) trying their hand at it.


Thanks, been doing it for a while since early January, but because i dont exclusively stick to metal i didnt put them up on here for a while. I've got a lot of room for improvement, but its a bit of fun, and that's the main thing. Writing is pretty cathartic, even just things like this.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:57 pm 
 

Twin_guitar_attack wrote:
Thanks, been doing it for a while since early January, but because i dont exclusively stick to metal i didnt put them up on here for a while. I've got a lot of room for improvement, but its a bit of fun, and that's the main thing. Writing is pretty cathartic, even just things like this.

Yeah I noticed that your reviews were from a blog or whatever. Whatever works and keeps you invested. Of course there are a few stinker reviews as well, like the Pantera ones. :(
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novakm
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:52 pm
Posts: 311
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:32 pm 
 

I wanted to dust the cobwebs off of my account to give credit to autothrall, GuntherTheUndying, Radagast, and Empyreal credit for writing a bunch of reviews that are enjoyable to read, even if I don't agree with their opinions.

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~Guest 171512
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:28 pm 
 

I think this review is hilarious: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Y ... emonomania.

I love when a reviewer attempts humor and succeeds.

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Metal_Detector
Reticular Modular Unit

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:06 pm 
 

RapeTheDead's excellent review of Ultima Thulée finally inspired me to listen to Blut Aus Nord's early work. I definitely regret not doing so sooner.
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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 12:29 pm 
 

Why is it that negative reviews for Scum tend to come from people that don't understand what grindcore is all about?! :nono:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... 1/Spatupon

Also, is there any kind of musical description in there apart from "it's short and harsh"?!

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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 12:58 pm 
 

From that same Napalm Death review:
"The number of songs on this album, is definitely one of my main gripes with this album, apart from the number of songs, for it completely destroys any chance the listener has, to enjoy each song individually." :scratch:
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:26 pm 
 

Some people value individual songs over entire albums. I figured that era was mostly done with the demise of Limewire and such, but apparently not.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:48 pm 
 

This reviewer suffers from the "I have no idea what I'm talking about" syndrome.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:16 pm 
 

I like individual songs in grindcore albums. That's why I listen to Nasum. They made a lot of songs and most of them are awesome.
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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:59 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:02 pm 
 

While many of his reviews are on the petite side length-wise, Stillborn_Machine has a strong grasp for language and description which may come off kinda stiff sometimes, but for the most part he gets the job done. Here's one of his longer ones.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... rn_Machine
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:05 pm 
 

Hmm, you read my mind. Not even two minutes ago i was reading the recent influx of his reviews and was thinking the same thing. Some are just too short, albeit pretty well written. Regardless, that one is pretty damn good! More of that..please.
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severzhavnost
Something Stupid

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
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Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 8:44 am 
 

BastardHead & Wilytank, I get what he tried to say, and even agree with it somewhat. Just the way he wrote it is absolute nonsense. Take a second look: "one thing that bothers me, apart from the number of songs, is the number of songs." Errr... what?
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true_death
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 6:47 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:27 am 
 

The new Cryptopsy review is absolutely terrible. His criticisms feel so under-developed, like he didn't give the album a proper chance or even try to understand what is going on with that album. Like here:

Quote:
The riffs do not go anywhere. They just play one senseless and structureless riff after another, the next one having little to nothing to do with the last one. What's more they have no emotion or reason to give a shit, with very bored sounding guitar solos and riffs that have no structure, and as a result, every song sounds the same. And as result of the band sounding like they don't give a shit, I don't give a shit.


I'm really thinking that this guy just doesn't "get" the album, as odd as that may sound. Calling the riffs structureless? I don't even know what that means. Calling the album emotionless? The main riff to "Phobophile" and solo to "Dead and Dripping" say differently. Furthermore, saying "every song sounds the same" is usually an admission that you haven't listened to the album thoroughly enough...how on earth could someone think "Phobophile" sounds like "Graves of the Fathers", and "Benedictine Convulsions" sounds like "Crown of Horns"? I think I have the answer:

Quote:
It took me three times to listen to this album. The first two I just couldn't take it and quit half way through, and the third time I just forced myself through the mess and listened to the whole thing. Alot of people love it but to me, it was a chore to listen to, I think it's horribly overatted and not worth anyone's time


Okay....first of all, I find the "lot's of people love this album but I think it's overrated so it's not worth anyone's time" line pretty redundant. Second of all, the fact that you weren't able to sit through a 32 minute album is not Cryptopsy's fault, buddy. Third of all...once. This guy listened to this album ONE TIME, and he thinks he's in a position to criticize the album's legacy. What a disgrace...
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~Guest 82538
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 11:02 am 
 

So, this is the week for people who have no idea what they're talking about (and by talking I mean reviewing) to bitch and moan about classic albums?! By Jove, that Cryptopsy review is so barren and idiotic. It must have took him three times to write it down. The first couple of times he tried starting it up and by the third he pushed himself against the keyboard. Yeah, that must've been how it went down.

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:12 pm 
 

That album's got plenty of reviews, it doesn't really need one with such terrible spelling.

Quote:
Lord Worm abadons melody and structure in total and instead goes for this guteral series of grunts, growls and shrieks


Spell-checking is difficult. :facepalm:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:18 pm 
 

Haha, oh man, that Cryptopsy review fucking sucks. Starts out with a criticism of how overrated it is - yeah, because that's really the music's fault. Goes onto say that the riffs don't "go anywhere" - i.e. a criticism used when the reviewer doesn't really know how to describe music. What's an example of a song that DOES "go somewhere"? I'm pretty sure that has no real meaning.

Pretty much completely misses the point on everything - including just the general understanding of why that sort of metal is great.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:21 pm 
 

I just rejected it for the mass of spelling errors, but even though he's objectively incorrect and that album is amazing, plus he so brilliantly misses the point and clearly doesn't really know what he's talking about, he does pass the technical requirements of describing the music and explaining why he feels the way he does. So as long as he actually corrects the spelling, it'll be back :(
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:31 pm 
 

Who accepted it, then? My money's on Tony. :P
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:39 pm 
 

Acrobat wrote:
Who accepted it, then? My money's on Tony. :P


Not me, not Tony, PLACE BETS NOW!

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Gutterscream
The Last Old Schooler in Town

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:09 pm 
 

Not me. I would've corrected the spelling before accepting it at least.
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"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound.
"Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly.
"Glare of the Minotaur?"
"No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

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