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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:18 am 
 

Malthus wrote:
Dead? (No, I am not asking if Dead is a stupid name, their name IS "Dead?")
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Dead%3F/3540281541

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Horse%3F/3540336945
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:15 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Just imagine selling any of these names to a non metal listening friend. Which one sounds better?

"Hey, check out this band I like, Goatpenis!"

"Hey, check out this band I like, Disembowelment!"

The latter would still get you some looks, but it at least sounds more somber and straight up than fucking Goatpenis.

Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis. The band probably chose the name knowing fully well that anyone who would actually enjoy their music would intrinsically have the experience in the metal scene to not bat an eye to the name, so why should they have compromised it for the people who probably don't even enjoy them? It's a name that makes sense in context, and the fact that it's being discussed in a "worst band names" thread indicates that their music has reached the wrong hands, the same way you might say the same if your grandma found your copy of Welcome to Hell. Goatpenis are the threshold of intolerability for an entire subculture devoted to thresholds of intolerability and they deserve nothing short of praise for achieving such.
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which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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dontlivefastjustdie
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 2169
Location: Hotlanta, USA
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:11 am 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis.

If I was a man who put quotes in my sig then we'd have a winner right here.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35179
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:16 am 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Just imagine selling any of these names to a non metal listening friend. Which one sounds better?

"Hey, check out this band I like, Goatpenis!"

"Hey, check out this band I like, Disembowelment!"

The latter would still get you some looks, but it at least sounds more somber and straight up than fucking Goatpenis.

Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis. The band probably chose the name knowing fully well that anyone who would actually enjoy their music would intrinsically have the experience in the metal scene to not bat an eye to the name, so why should they have compromised it for the people who probably don't even enjoy them? It's a name that makes sense in context, and the fact that it's being discussed in a "worst band names" thread indicates that their music has reached the wrong hands, the same way you might say the same if your grandma found your copy of Welcome to Hell. Goatpenis are the threshold of intolerability for an entire subculture devoted to thresholds of intolerability and they deserve nothing short of praise for achieving such.


Kind of missing the point there, huh? Never heard their music, but the name sucks, simple as. Obviously I know you wouldn't really start a friend off on bands like that, come on. But the name is still terrible no matter how you look at it.

I was never talking about introducing a friend to metal anyway.
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Inkshooter
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:55 pm
Posts: 1064
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:36 pm 
 

I don't remember it exactly, but the band name was essentially a razor blade made of punctuation marks, like this:

{[====|====]}
{[====|====]}


I can just imagine the guy trying to explain it to people.

"Oh, yeah, I have this one-man DSBM project."
"Really? That's cool. What's it called?"
"Uh..."
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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:50 pm 
 

You're thinking of |||_-_|||. I think "Busca la Muerte" is what you're supposed to call the band, verbally.
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Guitarpro77889 wrote:
which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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Marag
Veteran

Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:55 pm
Posts: 2773
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:59 pm 
 

dontlivefastjustdie wrote:
MalignantThrone wrote:
Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis.

If I was a man who put quotes in my sig then we'd have a winner right here.

If are not going to, then I will.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:55 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
"Hey, check out this band I like, Disembowelment!"

"Well, that sounds pretty heavy."
Empyreal wrote:
"Hey, check out this band I like, Goatpenis!"

"...What the fuck's wrong with you?"

Yeah, it's obvious which is a name that can be taken seriously, and which one is simply not. You'd have to have a massive peeve against violent or brutal band names to prefer Goatpenis.

I also hate Goatwhore, it's an awful band name. I'd probably listen to them more if they were called Goatslayer or something.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
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Location: 717
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:38 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
"Hey, check out this band I like, Goatpenis!"

"...What the fuck's wrong with you?"

Yeah, it's obvious which is a name that can be taken seriously, and which one is simply not. You'd have to have a massive peeve against violent or brutal band names to prefer Goatpenis.

I also hate Goatwhore, it's an awful band name. I'd probably listen to them more if they were called Goatslayer or something.


Even worse is The Unspeakable Cult ov Goatpenis. That one's just trying too hard.

There's too many Goat bands, even ones that don't make sense at all. Goat Tunnel anyone?
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Headless420
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:22 pm
Posts: 431
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:41 pm 
 

Ov Hell. Completely uninspired and unoriginal. Albeit very fitting for the band's sound :)

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Cloud0129
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:04 pm
Posts: 169
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:58 pm 
 

Really, it seems that extreme metal in general has some awful band names compared to the more melodic ones.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:15 pm 
 

Satanic Glue Sniffers.



Yes, they're real.
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:38 pm 
 

MalignantThrone wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Just imagine selling any of these names to a non metal listening friend. Which one sounds better?

"Hey, check out this band I like, Goatpenis!"

"Hey, check out this band I like, Disembowelment!"

The latter would still get you some looks, but it at least sounds more somber and straight up than fucking Goatpenis.

Yeah, because when I'm showing metal to my non-metal friends I don't start them out on Black Sabbath, it's straight to the fucking Goatpenis. The band probably chose the name knowing fully well that anyone who would actually enjoy their music would intrinsically have the experience in the metal scene to not bat an eye to the name, so why should they have compromised it for the people who probably don't even enjoy them? It's a name that makes sense in context, and the fact that it's being discussed in a "worst band names" thread indicates that their music has reached the wrong hands, the same way you might say the same if your grandma found your copy of Welcome to Hell. Goatpenis are the threshold of intolerability for an entire subculture devoted to thresholds of intolerability and they deserve nothing short of praise for achieving such.


I don't find them intolerable, just amusing. They're way too on the nose and silly to actually be offensive.

(hee hee, goat penis...)
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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:37 am 
 

Cloud0129 wrote:
Really, it seems that extreme metal in general has some awful band names compared to the more melodic ones.

Vulvagun, Gaywyre, Ax'n'sex, Dum Dum Bullet, Lullacry, Custard, Edguy. And that was just the first page of this thread. There are plenty of mighty terrible names in both traditional and extreme metal.
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shouvince
Veteran

Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:11 am
Posts: 3225
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:41 am 
 

^ Custard? Seriously? Upon seeing you mention them, I got rather curious in knowing what their logo looked like.

Spoiler: show
Image


Sheesh, terrible name indeed.

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The_Beast_in_Black
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 11:34 am
Posts: 7455
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:48 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
Cloud0129 wrote:
Really, it seems that extreme metal in general has some awful band names compared to the more melodic ones.

Vulvagun, Gaywyre, Ax'n'sex, Dum Dum Bullet, Lullacry, Custard, Edguy. And that was just the first page of this thread. There are plenty of mighty terrible names in both traditional and extreme metal.

And there's all those fruity or lame power metal band names like Fairyland, Heavenly, Magic Kingdom, Power Quest, Timeless Miracle, etc.
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zege
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:09 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:23 am 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Malthus wrote:
Dead? (No, I am not asking if Dead is a stupid name, their name IS "Dead?")
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Dead%3F/3540281541

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Horse%3F/3540336945
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Dead/3540281466

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Necessitarian
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:20 am
Posts: 152
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:28 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
I also hate Goatwhore, it's an awful band name. I'd probably listen to them more if they were called Goatslayer or something.

I think if you're going to be silly and include the goat- prefix in your band name, you might as well go all the way and end it with penis or whore. No point in pussying out and adding something serious sounding like slayer. That would, ironically, make it all the more silly.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:01 am 
 

Necessitarian wrote:
Ilwhyan wrote:
I also hate Goatwhore, it's an awful band name. I'd probably listen to them more if they were called Goatslayer or something.

I think if you're going to be silly and include the goat- prefix in your band name, you might as well go all the way and end it with penis or whore. No point in pussying out and adding something serious sounding like slayer. That would, ironically, make it all the more silly.

Rather, while most likely any name with the prefix 'goat' in it is likely to be silly, having something vulgar as a suffix makes it not merely silly, but outright laughable. Goatslayer would simply be a typical crappy name that suggests utmost mediocrity in the music department, whereas Goatwhore and Goatpenis are definitely quite off-putting.
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shouvince
Veteran

Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:11 am
Posts: 3225
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:00 pm 
 

Yeah, no one can take you seriously with 'goat' prefixed to your band name. I'll admit to listening and enjoying Goatlord (US) though but it was only after listening to their music that I started appreciating them.

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inhumanist
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 5634
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:41 pm 
 

Goatlord is a good name though, and the prefix wasn't overused at all when they formed. I mean, it's basically a badass synonym for Satan.

Goatwhore or Goatpenis though, that's just kinda immature in comparison.
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 7:20 pm 
 

The name Goatwhore makes me want to ask, "How much does she charge for full service?"
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Desperta_Ferro
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:45 am
Posts: 715
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:15 pm 
 

I love the name Goatpenis. Goatwhore, not so much.

About Edguy, they are quite big to have that name, it's like... eh?

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Corpsey the Clown
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:38 pm
Posts: 271
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 4:54 pm 
 

Let's just agree that any band named after a goat is asking for it. xD I'll let it slide if I like their stuff though. I think bad names are made worse by having lackluster music behind them.

Hence, my all-time pick for the worst metal band name ever: Bathtub Shitter.

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Kveldulfr
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Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:01 pm
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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 5:38 pm 
 

What about Archgoat? Its pretty harmless to me.

Ed guy and Gamma Ray are both terrible.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 5:42 pm 
 

Goatlord is an awesome name. It brings to mind images of Satanic priests wearing goat masks as ritual gear. Goatwhore, on the other hand, simply makes me picture a farm animal dressed like a hooker.


Last edited by ~Guest 282118 on Fri May 10, 2013 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 5:44 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Goatwhore, on the other hand, simply makes me picture a farm animal dressed like a hooker.

Reminded me of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qVQcwnuBfU :lol:
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Panflute
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:11 am
Posts: 467
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 8:38 pm 
 

I came across a band called "Hammergoat" lately. That's pretty poor taste even by the standards of the countless 'goat bands' out there.
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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 9:29 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/B.A.R.F./3723
It shouldn't make me laugh at 21 years old, but BARF is still a funny word.
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Murtal wrote:
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Woolie_Wool
Facets of Predictability

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:56 pm
Posts: 2119
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 12:35 am 
 

Kveldulfr wrote:
Ed guy and Gamma Ray are both terrible.

I'll give you Edguy but I don't see how a form of high-energy radiation that gives you horrific burns, cancer, and agonizing death is un-metal.
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ThePoop
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:38 pm
Posts: 1075
Location: America
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:29 am 
 

Subrick wrote:
Satanic Glue Sniffers.

I happen to think that name kicks ass.
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CatFlatulence
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 28, 2013 11:51 pm
Posts: 84
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 4:03 am 
 

When I think about the worst band names, I consider more than anything else its practicality, and relation to the sound of the band's music itself.

!T.O.O.H.! is definitely one of the worst, because as the OP said, how in the fuck am I suppose to pronounce that.

Merlin - the Russian death metal band, simply because it is totally misleading.

A Pale Horse Named Death - Members from Type O's other band. Not very good, but the name is just too long and over dramatic. Though I guess it makes sense with the style of music.

I think Hellyeah probably has to be one of the worst band names of all time.

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Sonofabitch Thirdgeneration
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 274
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 4:39 am 
 

!T.O.O.H.! stands for The Obliteration Of Humanity so there

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Milo
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:56 pm
Posts: 459
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 7:18 am 
 

CatFlatulence wrote:
Merlin - the Russian death metal band, simply because it is totally misleading.



I agree, but since Merlin are the most badass death metal band ever, their name doesn't bother me at all. Maria Abaza is an evil woman. EVIL.
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sushiman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 921
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 8:28 am 
 

Kveldulfr wrote:
What about Archgoat? Its pretty harmless to me.


Archgoat is a fine name. Somehow the bands with a -goat suffix like Archgoat and Weregoat sound fine to me both musically and in terms of their name, whereas those using a goat- prefix like Goatpenis, Goatwhore, Goat Funeral, Goatchrist666 etc not so much. And the latter is my vote for most ridiculous band name, partly 'cause it is idiotic and partly 'cause it shows how trendy and meaningless all this goats, bulletbelts and 666 schtick has become in the metal underground.

Cunttlefish is another bad band name.

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Hircine
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:13 pm
Posts: 1002
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 9:45 am 
 

What about the vaugely metal psychedelic band Goat?
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sushiman
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:41 pm
Posts: 921
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 9:53 am 
 

Hircine wrote:
What about the vaugely metal psychedelic band Goat?


Well since goat is neither a suffix nor prefix there neither rule applies :P also I haven't heard them ,haha.

Although speaking of psychedelia and vagueness, a band that might buck the trend is dem sludgey doom guys Goatsnake, they're pretty good if you like that sort of thing.

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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 11:26 am 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
Xlxlx wrote:
Goatwhore, on the other hand, simply makes me picture a farm animal dressed like a hooker.

Reminded me of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qVQcwnuBfU :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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chugging_pus
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:59 pm
Posts: 210
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:03 pm 
 

Deathkids
R.U. Dead?
Medicine Death
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EloyXO
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:07 am
Posts: 18
Location: Spain
PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 3:48 pm 
 

Never really liked the name ''Vomitory''.

I can handle ''Cannibal Corpse'', ''Necrophagist'' or ''Aborted''. But Vomitory has always sounded ironically disgusting to my ears.

Hardcore Superstar also.
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