somberlain93 wrote:
Why do people on forums, not even just this one, so often gang up on anyone they don't fully understand or agree with? It often looks like if someone goes against the grain a bit or says something that isn't popular they get personal attacks and insults and name calling. Is this to run them off so the forum is better filled with likeminded people? That sounds boring. I haven't participated on a forum in about seven years or more but now I tried two or three lately and the same thing happens. I don't troll or do anything stupid, but just trying to start threads that might be a little different to share ideas that I wondered about and I get ganged up on, probably by 14-year olds for all I know. But still, is this something others see here and in other places? If so, why do you think it's so common? What might one do to completely avoid stupid childish name-calling and still be able to share a genuine opinion that might not be understood or widely accepted? What's better etiquette, if that's the right word?
I'll humbly give a couple of general guidelines for forums. Pick what applies:
1) Pick the spots you hang at carefullyI put that as the first rule because I truly think this is the most important. Before you heavily participate in a forum, just analyze a little and try to figure out if this is the right spot for you. Obviously, communities like this one tend to be large, nobody is gonna agree 100% on everything. But are you gonna fit? If you're a Boston Bruins fan and the mere mention of the Montreal Canadiens gives you an aneurism, would it be wise to join a Canadiens forum? If swearing hurts you and offends you, should you join a forum where swearing is allowed? Just check the mission statement of the community and watch how people interact. Then, throw a few posts. If it doesn't work for you, there may be a better community out there for you. When you participate, you change the community a little but don't expect you can change the whole damn place. Someone else went through the hard work of building the community. It is privately owned. It is not any user's right to shit on it. For instance, I personally love it here, but I'm little bummed out that the owners and mods have determined Tool is not fit for the archives. Am I gonna throw a fit about it? No. I understand why they see things this way, I disagree, I move on. If the subject is ever discussed, I'll throw my opinion and that's it.
2) Understand the community's dynamics Most of us know people where, if you visit them, you don't have to leave your shoes at the door (and in fact, it is highly advisable to keep them since the floor is filthy as fuck!) and other friends where it's just polite and the right thing to get your shoes off before wondering about. Same with smoking rules. You have to be observant. A forum is just like that. You want to get a feel of the place. Not to do like everyone else but at least to get a feel for how things are done and how you can express yourself. This isn't about faking and pretending you have opinions you don't have, but just learning the ways. While you're at it, familiarize yourself with all the rules and learn about the moderation. Ask questions if need be. Moderators are human. They may not be any better than you. But they've usually earned their spot because they represent what the site is about, how things should work. They also do this work as volunteers. When moderators are acting as posters, feel free to argue with them like you would with any user. When they act as moderators, understand that they are doing this work for free and just respect their call. If you disagree with it, argue politely, ask questions. If you don't like the particular dynamics of a forum, find a better forum for you.
3) Leave your ego at the door, just have fun The whole point of posting somewhere is to get something out of it. I like learning about new bands and cool stuff. I also like to share my own opinions. I like debating, but I'm not debating to "win". I'm comfortable with my opinions but I keep an open mind. I don't have ambitions or goals on the forum. Like becoming popular, or making certain people miserable. I don't hold grudges either. It's supposed to be fun. Especially since this isn't a science forum or anything measurable. At one point, it just becomes useless to argue. Maybe someone thinks Bathory rules, maybe I think Bathory sucks balls... who cares? Maybe that person will change their mind eventually, or maybe I'll miraculously find that the Bathory clown had talent. But I ain't going to lose sleep over the fact people think one asshole in his basement was a genius. Never ending arguments that lead nowhere should be avoided. Don't waste energy. For yourself and for the mods. Don't get mad over harmless talks about bands. It's just music!
4)Be yourselfIt's tempting to be someone you're not on the internet but preferable to be close to yourself. I talk to people pretty much the same way I would in real life. It's much less stressful that way. Also, this is a small world. You never know when you will meet some of these people. I have in several other forums. It's nice not being ashamed of the things you said when you face someone. It's also nice to network with folks who share a common passion. Anyone who meets me will meet the same guy, holding the same views about music and everything else.
So yeah, don't be an asshole, share stuff, discuss stuff. Don't dwell on shit. Be yourself. Check out how things work on the forum and how mods operate.
ALSO: HUMOR... DON'T TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY!
That's about it, really.
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mjollnir wrote:
Noble Beast's debut album is way beyond MOST of what Priest did in the 80s.