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Arkhane
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:39 pm
Posts: 1820
Location: South Texas
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:19 pm 
 

I wrote this song and lyrics from the deepest parts of myself and my heart and soul. If I had to give up every song of mine except one, this song would be the one i keep. I would really appreciate any feedback, positive or negative on this song, i even have a video i'm trying to upload of me drumming while i have this song playing on my mp3 player.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IqxBUm2 ... aDMoS_cv5g

the lyrics are in the video description.
I also understand it is not the most technical of all songs, but i meant for it to come from the heart so if your into tech death prepare to be let down.
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newp
Veteran

Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:07 pm
Posts: 2697
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:20 am 
 

Arkhane wrote:
If I had to give up every song of mine except one, this song would be the one i keep.


Wowza, that's quite a statement. I've written more songs than I can count and while there are some that I care for more than others, I've definitely never found 'the one'.

Anyway, this song is really quite good. The melodies are strong and evocative, I can definitely hear the emotion you put into this. Quite a solid production job too, vocals are nicely produced and you balanced the main guitar, leads, and synth quite well during the last big section (6:30 or so). I think the drums are kinda quiet, hats and cymbals could really have more presence. There are also a few spots where I feel like your trying to force your voice to sound to certain way rather than let it come out naturally. It's a minor quibble- your voice does sound good (especially during the aaahhh's), I just have a preference towards voices that show a bit more character rather then being spot on.

Overall though, good stuff. It's not a style I listen to usually but I can appreciate the emotion and craft behind it- you've obviously put a lot into this song and it shows.

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Arkhane
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:39 pm
Posts: 1820
Location: South Texas
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:47 pm 
 

I appreciate the feedback bro. You should post some of your songs if you havent already
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LiberXul
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:16 pm
Posts: 55
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:21 pm 
 

This is some mystical stuff.. it reminds me of Agalloch. And to an extent, mid Bathory, due to the drums/synth and guitar.

I can understand your strong connection to the piece Arkhane, it's very emotional. atmospheric. I think that your songwriting/structure for this track is fantastic, and your vocal harmonies are well executed. I apologize for not having a lot more to say, but that's my honest impression of the track. It would be great to hear more from you if you wanted to share.

And I think you nailed the guitar tone for this type of music. What instruments did you use for this?

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Big_Grand
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:59 pm
Posts: 624
PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:49 pm 
 

I enjoyed it a lot, nice work.

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Arkhane
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:39 pm
Posts: 1820
Location: South Texas
PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 11:20 am 
 

I use an ibanez rg 120 and an old digitech rp1 effects pedal. Thank you all f por your comments
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mike40k
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:27 pm
Posts: 412
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:19 am 
 

This was seriously awesome. Well done!

The only criticism I have is the vocal production. Not sure if it's the mic, or an effect/something in the mixing process, but it sounds like it has that telephone effect on it, which makes it a little less powerful. Kind of hard to explain, hopefully this makes sense. A more upfront mixing of the vocals would add more power to the song IMO.

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GeoCO3
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 40
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:48 am 
 

Real good work Arkhane, production is very good, I also like the guitar tone even though it is a bit "fuzzy". You nailed it on the vocals, too. A critique, and it's probably just more of a preference, is that I think the drums should be higher in the mix. Good work.

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Suffersystem
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 2:31 pm
Posts: 919
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:19 am 
 

it's amazing, I love it.
Looking forward to hear future material.

It's got that post-black/agallochy feel to it, which I adore when it's done right.
and it's got that almost Filosofem-esque fuzzy guitar which goes with the vocals really well imo.
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Arkhane
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:39 pm
Posts: 1820
Location: South Texas
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 12:46 pm 
 

Wow, feedbackwas a lot better than I had hoped. Thanks a bunch guys
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karnossis
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:43 pm
Posts: 8
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:54 am 
 

I like this a TON.

Good stuff man.

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elf48687789
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:03 pm
Posts: 1662
PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:41 am 
 

yes, excellent

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ClaymanOnFire
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2011 8:13 pm
Posts: 472
Location: Nice try, Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:02 pm 
 

Ooo, this is quite good. I have to respectfully disagree with mike40k, I really like how you produced the vocals. My one criticism though: there could be more variety in the atmosphere/emotions you're evoking. Just an extra little something to freshen it up. An acoustic section, for instance, could probably accomplish it.
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analog_winter
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:34 pm
Posts: 1184
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:45 pm 
 

This track is awesome! The guitar work throughout this is magnificent, and I would agree that it gives off an Agalloch-ish vibe. Regarding the comments on the vocals, I think that the more distant vocals work great in the introduction, but as the track builds I think it might be better to have the vocals more up front. Even so, this song is very powerful and I really enjoy it.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 1004
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:46 pm 
 

I totally understand the Agalloch comparisons but I think they do you injustice as this is superior to anything I have heard from them. Also, I agree with analog_winter about the vocals, but aside from that, this is a superb song. You can hear the gravitas, and it is clear why this would be the one song you would keep. I think the level of variety is spot on for just one song, but if you did more music in this vein (which I think many here hope you do) then I would keep in mind what ClaymanOnFire has suggested about working to freshen things up.

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