Thanks for clearing that up. The text makes more sense when it's looked at that way.

Edited further down.. again!

That one has a definite Slayer flavour to it, which is awesome.

After a discussion about hell in class yesterday.

---------------------------------------
anguished screams greet you

pitchblack flames engulf you

white-hot chains hold you

eternal hell awaits you

in this wicked place
where the disbelievers are sent
you will not recognize a face
the rules of this world are bent

you will feed on thorns
that stick to your insides
you will drink boiling water
that melts your intestines

you will wear a rag
a special one, no doubt
its stench will make you pout
its heat would burn worlds
-----------------------------------------
A work in progress.

Tigers, tigers, tigers in your bed
Tigers tigers, tigers kill you dead
Orange stripes, full of fury
At your trial they're the judge and jury
Better whatch out, cause they pounce when you scurry,

Cats cats they're gonna get you,
snap snap as they tear your sinew
Back back stay away you beast
Crap crap! they've begun to feast!
Claw claw as they rip your face off
Good god, i stand in pure awe
Paw paw at your bloody remains
Good god, t-tigers strike agaaaaaiiiiin!
Rape-a-you-face!

It was sort of funny the first time, but it hasn't been funny any of the other times.

I've never written (...typed?) lyrics before, so I decided to give it a try. As I sat down I got a general idea of what I wanted to write about and then I kind of get distracted only to have it go in different directions. So, after revising, I'm gonna post this. If you could, evaluate/give feedback/tips, much appreciated.

Thus, here is...

"Beacon"

Confusion,
Hand grips broken hilt
Dim view of the horizon
No lit path to see you home
Blood stains this night

The earth will claim you...

Seek others
Ache for familiar voices
Choke on your words
Your love, your lies
Left on the shore
For another lifetime

Sink into the ocean
Fall through the void
Weightless for a moment
Try to blink to feel alive
Shut-eye for an eternity

Until... a beacon is lit

Wake to a new anthem
Swim through the waves
Feel the warmth flow through
Feel the world at your feet
You have awaken

*You have awoken

Do you have a specific genre in mind for these lyrics? They don't read like any other which I've read.

Hahaha I didn't even notice that "awaken" part. My bad.

No, I didn't have a specific genre in mind. But at this moment I've been listening to a lot of Riverside (Progressive Metal/Rock), later Katatonia (Depressive Rock) and early Dark Tranquillity (Melodic Death). So... that's a mixed bag of influences. Is the "don't read like any other which I've read" a bad thing or...?

I tried to keep it to a concept of losing hope and then being reborn, having a second chance, feeling alive again etc. But also that if anyone else read it, they could make their own meaning. Probably not the best idea for first lyrics should have kept it simple.

No it's a good thing, I like reading new things. That was the angle I read it from too, though I was perplexed since it seemed to lack the kind of aggression of an inspirational metal song. I wasn't surprised to read you're into depressive metal, there seems to be a depressive mood to the lyrics, however when you blend in the inspirational conclusion, it seems to move from depressive to a kind of poignant beauty.

But that's just my take on it.

Those lyrics looks great! "The earth will claim you..." sounds so goddamn ominous.

Thanks for the advice Christopher_Night and cheers TheUglySoldier, kind words. This has inspired me to keep it up... i'll definitely be posting again. Now to get the creative juices flowing!

Teachings Of The Plagues

The brimstone hail comes with grace
Spreads war and hate upon this world
Punishmet bestowed upon earth forever
Winds and furious firestorms scorch
Fertile soil reduced to searing sands
The oceans homes to many lifeforms
In seconds turn from water into dust
And disease deities let their names be known

Come upon them legions of divine rage
Reap the harvest of the avid hogs
And cleanse the lands of human fleas
Let your many names dement the minds
Spew forth atrocious monstrosities
In the form of a thundering roar
Judgement comes as dissembodied pain
Everlasting plagues are now unchained

Between urine and feces thou born
There you shall return
Bibere venenum in auro
Commune bonum
The teachings of the plagues
Shall end the wretched ways
Reversed words of creation
Annihilation of the human reign

Rise up and scorch what the fool created
Turn bones and limbs to nihility
Obliterate - Crush the sacred masterplan
Exterminate - The parasitical nature of man
The parsimonous empire dies burning
Charred architecture was once glorious
Created by pretentious human thaumaturgy
Those holier than thou now lay rotting

Plutonium grace seeps from the wounds of graves
Scarring his holy land of defecated hallowness
His dogma becomes undone in the cleansing flames
And his foul body submerged in boiling angel flesh
The hissings of the serpentine reaper scythe
Omen of the coming demonic warlord
As he casts eternal spells of infernal destruction
The end of the human era, the end of days


Fans of Naglfar will see its influence. I hope it's not too much.

PlutoniumChrist, that is awesome! In my opinion, I think your lyrics could easily be for an Anaal Nathrakh song (hopefully you like them, hehe).

They're my favorite band heh. And thanks.

Daybreak

From monolithic crypts there comes a hissing gust of fright
Perturbations in the chaos singing force
Beasts ill at ease, plagues and disease, heavens cast an acrid blight
Riding waves that omen bade, the villains storming forth

Lighting rakes the sky
Piercing firmament, trans-dimensional tides

A daybreak where mankind will run
Down the drain into sewers
In lieu of its carcass, expunged,
Tombs spew legions to march...

A rift tears open, lights all darken hearken hear the call
Promulgating downfall under crimson moon
Nations cleft in twain in the tumult and uproar
In a whisk of auburn hues the cosmos blaze anew

And this is but the prologue to an age

An age, unknown. Torments are etched
Like a thorn in the side of mankind
Ancient powers resurface by night resurrected
Undying, and spying with conquest designs

An insane world in which the brave survive

Those ain't too bad Chris, although some of the lines, like "Lightning rakes the sky" seem a bit cliche. Overall though, they paint a rather nice picture.

Shadow of Despise


Cast aside the human animal
Black cloak, hidden from sight
Wandering into the darkness
Stone face, no remorse

Break through the walls of Man
Deifying law, slither as shadow
Through the cracks of old order
Free mind, cured of parasite

Visage of desperation in their eyes
Formlessness, into shadow
Gone from the world so hated
Nonexistent, trail of life

Plotting destruction in the mind
Conceive hate, planning vengeance
Return as king to the slaves
Death constructed, plague of the weak

Break the minds of all who stand
Fed lies, now fed venom
Downfall of the flock so vast
Weeping vermin, devoured whole



The lake of llusory reflection



The whispers of the wind call your name
Swept away by the false -- illusion inside
Standing face to face -- with the primal waters
Hypnotizing-- the foundations of your soul

Stare into the layers of the azure realm
Reflections of a world -- A dreamlike fantasy
To find yourself --transformed into your own dream
Reach out and drink --the waters of a grand vision
You are now what you chose to be

You breath the air of the timeless night
As you orchestrate --the vision inside
Forging the world-- as it is in your command
Gone from an old world to live in fantasy

Creations now spawn-- So magestic and unreal
An abstract vision-- creatures now come
Fly through-- your imagination into wind
See what has become of your -- architect rule

Time has now come to leave this home
A sacred place-- never to be known of the mindless fools
Run through the earth-- A palace of imagination
Into the world-- that you came before

You breath the air of the timeless night
As you orchestrate --the vision inside
Forging the world- as it is in your command
Gone from an old world to live in fantasy





Primal Gateway Into Creation



Static minds fixed on the laws of the earth
Unwilling to change the values of the system
Mindless drones force fed to be as the idols of conformity
Blinded to the archaic ways as old as the old trees

Now use the gateway into life as it is carnal it is free
Free in the ways of the elders, the superior kind
Travel through this cold door into night where the stars are all alight
Come into the roots and be as the earth
Where the stench of the modern world no longer remains!

Behind you see the world that you escaped from
You see through the glass a world that is the slave to fear
Grey and cold is the civlization now left behind --
As you step into the plane of a higher kind

The gateway of ice now closes and your eyes adjust to the world
Reborn you are to the ancient spells
You feel alive in your senses yet clouded you were in that other place
The winter sun now rises and the air of the forest comes

A mountain lies before you, it's presence so mighty and ancient
Gaze at its summit and see the world as it was ment to be
No corruption now plagues this sacred home where you stand
You walk on the soil of the elder land!


Behind you see the world that you escaped from
You see through the glass a world that is the slave to fear
Grey and cold is the civlization now left behind --
As you step into the plane of a higher kind

Heres the last thing I wrote...

As Mars Burns


Unsheath thy sword, Red with fire
Skin from flesh
Unleash thy rage, Black as death
Flesh from bone

War
Armageddon
War
Rape the Heavens

Storm the gates, against all odds
Thy kingdom come
Burn with hate, against their gods
Thy Will be done

War
Apocalypse
War
Raid the crypts

Steeds of death, dark as night
Hell they ride
Spreading plague, fast as light
Dead they rise

Storm the gates, against all odds
Thy kingdom come
Burn with hate, against their gods
Thy Will be done

War
Armageddon
War
Rape the Heavens

Edited... again!

I've read alot of the lyrics on here some really cool stuff here, some of it is a joke though and some of it is a work in process haha. But I've been writing lyrics since I was 13 and I'm 17 now so hopefuly I've improved over the years. This is a song from my band Hemotoxin it's a progressive deathrash band look us up on FB if you like what you see.

Shattered surroundings:
Redemption
My Escape from the hell
Suicide Seems so close
As death becomes my friend
Reason
I'm left without an explanation
And I'm close to death
I'm
Left in a broken world
Death
Death in my shattered surroundings
A place in my mind
A place I've never visited
Deep corners of nothing
As i endure this pain and suffering

Thats pretty much it I repeat alot of the lyrics in the song feedback?

Uh, I'm seventeen. Look at my lyrics...now I'm not saying anything but try and expand your vocabulary, okay? It comes from reading a lot and generally being intelligent.

Finally got a new song to post

MEAT FOR THE FEAST

Choosing my cadavre
Preparing the batter
Beating Meat To Tenderise Flesh
swallowing marrow and pus

Sissling Flesh
Smoking the meat
Hunger Desired
Now I will feed

Blood Will Be Boiled
Skin Will Burn Fat Will Melt
Juices flowing down, glicening
The Carcass Igniting
Meat is grilling,
Smell The Putrid Blackened Beast

HUNGER
FEED
DEVOUR
BLEED

Eating the skin the flesh is devoured
While you are eaten the other slaves cower
They all fear for the rest
Scared about who i will eat next

You, Have Been Consumed

I wanna write lyrics everyone can understand

Join a hip hop band then, dude.

Metal, in my eyes, is for more intelligent people. Well, more open minded, too. You know?

why don't you do so, then?

- is it that you're too intricate for normal people to understand or too dumb to realize that this is not the goal? (no offense)

jokes aside - many people have many tastes - if your lyrics appeal to happy people, they will make the deppresed ones mad and vice versa - and thats just the very first problem (not counting the language abilities, intelligence, experience and other factors on both sides)

that's the open minded part

Either he's trolling or a very little kid who doesn't understand basic language to get his ideas across.

What do you guys think of my lyrics? (see the load of them above)

I write music about alot of things, Shattered Surroundings is about the lowest point in my life so far. Hell I wrote a song about resident evil.

Uh... what you'd say about this one?

---

From the blackest depths of oblivion
Now I have returned -
The One, you once forsaken

Fire is raining from a crumbling sky
Earth finally shatters from my warcry
Air is filled with the stench of the dead
Water is boiling as my vengeance is spread

Kingdoms in ruins under rays of moonlight
Those who won't bow will be crushed by my might
Your God is apathic as He ever have been
Let children pay in blood for Father's sin

Blood that is symbol of your wretched life
Blood I shall take with a dreadful laugh
Blood that is shed on this glorious day
Like mindless sheeps all of you I shall slay

Now I have returned from my exile

And so the gates of Hell
Are open wide
So those who took my side
Again return to glory

Rise, my faithful soldiers
This world is ours to take

Liars - your rule is over
Hypocrites - you shall pay for your deeds
Infidels - your pathetic drover
Cries as execution proceeds

"And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth" (Rev. 6.7-6.8)

Plague - I'm the plague that's upon you
War - I'll divide your ranks
Famine - I'm your nightmare that comes true
Death - I am your final death

Gaze upon your beloved creations -
You have abandoned them
As you have abandoned me

Any thoughts, guys? These lyrics were inspired by the Middle Eastern uprisings, especially in Egypt; I wrote these while watching the now-ex-president's speech on CNN. And - I've just been looking at the above comments - I apologize if these are either too basic or too advanced for anyone here to enjoy. I'm 15, and apparently my age affects the songs I write.
_____________________________________________
THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYRS

Who steps up to prevent the holocaust?
Who steps up to honor our fathers?

Your power comes from us, your people
We are not your children
Our blood burns, soon to run

The rise and fall of empires is the dance of our fathers
This battle cry is the song of our fathers
This undying spirit is the blood of the martyrs

We want not for your pity
And we care not for your pride
We want the life that our heroes died for
And if we fall, at least we tried

United we stand the phoenix rising
And if we fall, we go down fighting
But your are no god, and we follow no more
Deny the silence, THIS IS WAR

We will have justice
We will remain
We will rise
We will pray and we will fight
And we are willing to die
And we will take our place among the martyrs

And they will know and understand
And we will march on the tyrants
And we are no longer afraid
And we will not serve the mammon
And now we pray for victory
And now we march on the golden house of the tyrant

And now he flees before us
For now he knows fear
And now we rejoice, victorious
The revolution starts here

Well, seeing as I'm a Christian (minority here, I know) I'm not supposed to approve of these lyrics, I'm supposed to call them blasphemous and tell you you're gonna burn in hell. But that's really not what I'm here for. Actually, you did a good job in telling your story and creating a picture of chaos and apocalypse, and some of the lines, like "Fire raining from a crumbling sky" are really good. These are solid metal lyrics, even though there were a few - really minor - grammatical errors.

IAmLivingFire, thanks a lot. Unfortunately, I'm not a native English speaker, so... would you please tell me, what those mistakes are?

BTW, your lyrics would finely suit some power metal. Or maybe some melodic death

Here is something I'm working on. Right now it is called "Effigies."


They stand enflamed by the soil
Hollow shells frozen in time
With eyes peering to the moon
Waiting the advent of Death

As ashes of empires sway
In the disenchanted breeze
Like sirens before Scylla
They pass from earth to dust

[Chorus]
Hushed is Heaven’s golden choir
Silenced by icy winds of glass
Gabriel cries tears of fire
Reducing the skies to ash

The shine of stars glint no more
The light of the sun is gone
Land enveloped in darkness
Reborn a kingdom of frost

[Chorus]
Hushed is Heaven’s golden choir
Silenced by icy winds of glass
Gabriel cries tears of fire
Reducing the skies to ash

They once slew with their swords
And bathed in blood of their making
Chanting names of lost deities
To free them from eternal war
Only to grow into effigies
Of an age enclosed in sands
A monument to the depths
Where they shall reside forever

There are no gods here…

Here's a short one.

Rosethorn Propaganda:

Show me your warface
The enemy is come
Beyond our fragile astral plane
Evil steels the gears, cosmos come undone

Spattered with dark, entwining lies
Pent at buckling gateways
Surreptitiously sniping menace spies
To thin the ranks and falter defensive pace

Kingdoms in utter despair and ruin
Razed now writhe in primal throes
Wading in the blood, a fecund bloom
She puts a silence to their final moan

@MaloRiN
Perfect! I'm forming a melodic death metal band right now.
Ok, I'm going to try NOT to be a total grammar Nazi, but this is just a few suggestions:

"From the blackest depths of oblivion
Now I have returned -
The One, you once forsaken"

Try saying "the once-forsaken" or "you once forsook"


"Kingdoms in ruins under rays of moonlight
Those who won't bow will be crushed by my might
Your God is apathic as He ever have been
Let children pay in blood for Father's sin"

I think it would sound better as "Your God is apathetic as He has ever been"


Other than that, it's all pretty good. I don't think I could write decent lyrics in anything besides my native language.

This is really good! I especially like "Chanting names of lost deities/To free them from eternal war/Only to grow into effigies/Of an age enclosed in sands". Where you said "There are no gods here," that reminded me of the song "Ghosts of the Midwinter Flame" by Agalloch, but that's not really a big deal. By the way, what style were you thinking of for this song? It seems to me that it would work well as blackened death metal.

New one but it doesn't feel finished to me if you have any suggestions reply please

Makers Eye

Look into the abyss
Against the tides in a moonless night
Fading into an ageless sky
Drifting down into the light

Shades of ainchent wisdom
And eternal faith
Seeds of life in the makers eye
Will your purpose be justified

Entering the darkened void
An exsistence without a sign
Born without choice or reason
A slave for eternity

Heathens that created you
Defied in your wake
Feeding those who search for gods
In the depths of the blackened void

@ IAmLivingFire

Actually, I originally wrote the lyrics with the intention of one day setting them to Doom metal music. Most of it will be slower to midpaced, but after the second chorus I imagined the music to speed up somewhat, and then closing with a funeral crawl during the last verse.