Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives
https://forum.metal-archives.com/

The Official Review Discussion Thread
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7444
Page 163 of 520

Author:  Lord Tempestuous [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I don't like Bitterman's reviews, but I agree with a lot of his points. The 12 good albums after 1993 thing seems to be only hyperbole, even to me. Attention seeking? I doubt it. Trolling? Probably, but if he's from deathmetal.org these reviews probably accurately represent his opinion.

Author:  Empyreal [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

MutantClannfear wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Maybe people should just stop bitching about bitterman's reviews and move on.

Pssshhh. This entire thread is about discussing irrelevant minutiae of reviews, of course we're not going to move on from it.

You must admit, his presence has made this part of the forum much livelier!


Not really, it was fine before. Sometimes it's a bit dead, but that's not much better or worse than the constant posts of the same old shit: "bitterman gave (x overrated extreme metal album) a 0%!" Kinda one note really...at least John Sunlight attacked stuff that people actually felt really passionate about. This guy is just giving 0% to all the flavor of the month stuff you see in metal magazines at Barnes and Noble.

Author:  PhilosophicalFrog [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

^ I'll say this about him and drop it. But, we've all learned to take his reviews with mounds of salt...really, that's a death toll for any reviewer. The moment you are't taken seriously, you're done. He's an ANUS based Sam Dunn.

Author:  TheStormIRide [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Frog, I've been enjoying your latest batch of reviews immensely! Keep it up!

Side note, I've finally reached the 200 milestone!

Author:  Azmodes [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

TheStormIRide wrote:
Does anyone else think that the Albion Codex got what they were asking for when they told Tony he should have asked permission to do a review?

Yep, I haven't heard a single note, but after reading that awkward, douchy email they sent Tony, I'm kind of pleased with the current score. :oh shit:

Author:  DethFanatic [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Kveldulfr wrote:
Surgical must be the most overhyped and overrated thing of this year by a mile. People is going apeshit for it when in reality is just a more blasty HW with forgettable riffs. A 0% is indeed stupid but 90% or higher is just blind/deaf fanboyism.


I gave it a 95 because I thought it was outstanding, and I'm still enjoying the hell out of it. And yeah, I'll be the first to admit suffering from fanboyitis as far as Carcass is concerned. I get where people have said they didn't like it (with one non-MA exception) and great, that just means our tastes are different. But I don't think that means my high score is any more or less valid from someone else's low score. Someone else might think it's total crap if all they like are the first 2 albums. That's why I like the reviews here, they're usually all over the place, it gives you a good chance of finding someone coming from the same place you might be and see what they think.

Author:  lord_ghengis [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Azmodes wrote:
TheStormIRide wrote:
Does anyone else think that the Albion Codex got what they were asking for when they told Tony he should have asked permission to do a review?

Yep, I haven't heard a single note, but after reading that awkward, douchy email they sent Tony, I'm kind of pleased with the current score. :oh shit:


I probably should have upped my score to a 50-60%, because the title track IS pretty decent outside of the useless outro, and that 45 is pretty much the basic level of low-end mediocrity, but eh.

Author:  TheStormIRide [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

lord_ghengis wrote:
I probably should have upped my score to a 50-60%, because the title track IS pretty decent outside of the useless outro, and that 45 is pretty much the basic level of low-end mediocrity, but eh.


Everything I've been reading, though, points directly at basic low-end mediocrity, so it fits quite nicely.

Author:  xexyzl [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I hate to keep this bandwagon a rollin', but our good friend has a real knee-slapper here:
bitterman's tru nu revu wrote:
It's a document of what is certainly the impending extinction of mankind. Pretending to be death metal and jumping around with DJ sounds... Is that life? Is this culture? With all the kids nowadays "popping the mollys" and having the sex with the "strap ons" with each other after this albums release, it's safe to say Fate's success at making a parody of death metal will only serve as a eulogy to the failure that man has made out of civilization.
bitterman seems to be funniest when it's not very clear whether or not he's trying to be funny.

Author:  zeingard [ Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I'm pissed that I didn't think of "mellow deaf" first. IT SEEMS SO OBVIOUS NOW!

Also his 'Sunbather' review is pretty on point but kind of repetitive. With some proof reading and editing, he'd be a decent reviewer.

Author:  MutantClannfear [ Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I've been saying "mellowdeath" for years. "Mellow deaf" is just a bit too tacky for my tastes, though.

Author:  zeingard [ Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

MutantClannfear wrote:
I've been saying "mellowdeath" for years. "Mellow deaf" is just a bit too tacky for my tastes, though.


The pronunciation of deaf is what nails it for me; a spineless, hollow puff of air is a great onomatopoeia for the music. DEAF HURRRR.

I'm a simple man, it made me chuckle.

Author:  PhilosophicalFrog [ Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

TheStormIRide wrote:
Frog, I've been enjoying your latest batch of reviews immensely! Keep it up!


Thanks, homie!

Author:  Kveldulfr [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Not sure if this is the right place but anyway; Thanx Autothrall for the Forestfather review!

Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

You can send him an email too, he'll be happy.

How to make me rage in 1 easy step: review Iron Maiden, Metallica or Slayer. GRRRRRRR NOBODY CARES.

Author:  autothrall [ Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Kveldulfr wrote:
Not sure if this is the right place but anyway; Thanx Autothrall for the Forestfather review!


Oh, it's my pleasure, man, thanks to you and CTP for the music!

Unrelated: Props to Gutterscream for all the great reads lately, very glad to see you active again, sir.

Author:  sushiman [ Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Metantoine wrote:
You can send him an email too, he'll be happy.

How to make me rage in 1 easy step: review Iron Maiden, Metallica or Slayer. GRRRRRRR NOBODY CARES.


Regular forum users on MA probably don't either; I never read 'em. But given the high number of inane and dribbling fanboy reviews those bands get I think for non-regular MA visitors, decent, well-balanced reviews for those bands are still a good thing :)

Author:  MrMetalinasuit1 [ Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I remember reading a review for a really obscure thrash album that had a song that sounded like whiplash and the review was basically one big long pokemon comparison. Anyone wanna help me find this gem?

Author:  Apteronotus [ Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... ils/57449/

I typed "metallum thrash pokemon" into google and this was the first result in case you were wondering how I found it. The review was actually a bit better than I expected. The pokemon comparison didn't completely get in the way of musical description and was amusing but still pretty one-note.

Author:  Zelkiiro [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 11:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Apteronotus wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Steel_Fury/Lesser_of_Two_Evils/57449/

I typed "metallum thrash pokemon" into google and this was the first result in case you were wondering how I found it. The review was actually a bit better than I expected. The pokemon comparison didn't completely get in the way of musical description and was amusing but still pretty one-note.

So when the battle's over, does Steel Fury take your money?

Author:  MrMetalinasuit1 [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Probably the most memorable review I have ever read for anything ever because of how custard as shampoo weird it is.

Author:  Napero [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

MrMetalinasuit1 wrote:
Probably the most memorable review I have ever read for anything ever because of how custard as shampoo weird it is.

You call that weird? Whüt? Haven't been around for too long yet, have you?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... ide/60633/

Took me a while to find this gem. Anyone trying to remove it will regret being born.

And yes, see Gutterscream's recent output. You can't go wrong there.

Author:  Zelkiiro [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Napero wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Gothmog/Orkish_Pride/60633/

He lost me at "enchanted vacuum cleaner."

Author:  hakarl [ Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Zelkiiro's review of the Nightwish movie score thing is fairly odd:
Quote:
The cover for Imaginaerum: The Score depicts what I'm guessing is Dobby from the Harry Potter series walking in the snow to a building. A building with no cars, yet one of the lights is lit. Despite the ground being covered with snow, the trees seem immune to snow buildup.

Cars are required for lights to be lit? The trees are covered with snow as far as I can see. If you've ever been in a place where snow falls, you might've noticed that the trees are not covered by the snow at all times, as much smaller layers of snow accumulate on trees than on the ground, which means that they melt faster when it gets momentarily warmer. Patches of snow also fall off quite easily off trees, as before it starts melting, snow becomes considerably heavier and clumps together due to the moisture.

Author:  MrMetalinasuit1 [ Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Napero wrote:
MrMetalinasuit1 wrote:
Probably the most memorable review I have ever read for anything ever because of how custard as shampoo weird it is.

You call that weird? Whüt? Haven't been around for too long yet, have you?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... ide/60633/

Took me a while to find this gem. Anyone trying to remove it will regret being born.

And yes, see Gutterscream's recent output. You can't go wrong there.

I want him to review everything. As in literally every single piece of audio ever recorded in human history. From Beethoven to me recording my farts and burning them to blank CDs when I was 10.

Author:  Gutterscream [ Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

autothrall wrote:
Kveldulfr wrote:
Not sure if this is the right place but anyway; Thanx Autothrall for the Forestfather review!


Oh, it's my pleasure, man, thanks to you and CTP for the music!

Unrelated: Props to Gutterscream for all the great reads lately, very glad to see you active again, sir.


Thanks, Auto. Got tired of seeing my review total stalled out at like 327 or whatever it was. Then again, a stall to you is probably only writing three a day.

Author:  Gutterscream [ Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I want him to review everything. As in literally every single piece of audio ever recorded in human history. From Beethoven to me recording my farts and burning them to blank CDs when I was 10.[/quote]

I wish I could, MrMetalwithinasuite1, I wish I could. Then again, I'd probably go insane, which maybe isn't the worst place to be sometimes.

Author:  MrMetalinasuit1 [ Sat Oct 12, 2013 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I can send you the master of the farthouse tapes if you like?

Author:  TheStormIRide [ Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Ilwhyan wrote:
Zelkiiro's review of the Nightwish movie score thing is fairly odd:
Quote:
The cover for Imaginaerum: The Score depicts what I'm guessing is Dobby from the Harry Potter series walking in the snow to a building. A building with no cars, yet one of the lights is lit. Despite the ground being covered with snow, the trees seem immune to snow buildup.

Cars are required for lights to be lit? The trees are covered with snow as far as I can see. If you've ever been in a place where snow falls, you might've noticed that the trees are not covered by the snow at all times, as much smaller layers of snow accumulate on trees than on the ground, which means that they melt faster when it gets momentarily warmer. Patches of snow also fall off quite easily off trees, as before it starts melting, snow becomes considerably heavier and clumps together due to the moisture.


Odd thing is, Zelkiiro is from an area that gets a fair amount of yearly snowfall. So it's not like he doesn't have experience with it.

Author:  Thumbman [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

NausikaDalazBlindaz wrote:
High time that we had some serious Ritual Satanick Worshippe here and who better to swing the censers of burning sulphur while leading in anti-clockwise procession and conduct the daemonic choirs in throaty guttural hallelujahs to the Dark Lord than Ad Majorem Satanae Gloriam

Uh ... what? :scratch:

Fullmetalattorney's review of Sons of Tonatiuh is awful, the guy shows a very limited understanding of sludge metal.

Author:  iamntbatman [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

NausikaDalazBlindaz is a pretty good reviewer, however I find her particular taste hard to make any speculations about and therefore hard to use as any sort of metric as to whether or not I'll enjoy the stuff she reviews myself.

Author:  Thumbman [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I have mixed feelings about Nausika. She's definitely a good writer but her reviews are often dry/clinical, which is especially evident in her review titles. She does has really out there taste, although we do have some amount of overlap.

Author:  MutantClannfear [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

NausikaDalazBlindaz's review titles read like fifth-graders in the student newspaper club being forced to write about raw black metal.

Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... apeTheDead

I like conceptual reviews, a nice change compared to the dry writing of many regulars. A well deserved 8 points :)

Author:  iamntbatman [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Only dry, descriptive reviews are real!

Author:  MutantClannfear [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Yeah, I haven't read this yet, only skimmed over it (RapeTheDead is a good writer so I'm sure it'll be better than most), but I'm skeptical. Reviews should tell me about the music first and foremost, and if they sacrifice description for storytelling it turns from "music review" to "short story vaguely related to the album in question". Phooey to that.

Author:  RapeTheDead [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I tried to throw in enough dry description that it can still hold its own as an actual review, but whether I actually did or not is up to the reader I suppose. Either way, it was a fun little exercise, but it's also really difficult to stick to the concept while keeping it all about the music, and I probably couldn't have done that kind of thing passably for anything other than a Bongripper album.

Author:  iamntbatman [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

I didn't mean to knock your review, RTD. I was just making a half-assed attempt at defending my own very uncreative reviews.

Author:  Zodijackyl [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

Interesting concept in that it still contains literal descriptions of the music, but it's basically the one-track equivalent of an overlong track-by-track review.

Author:  Gutterscream [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread

The trick is to tell an interesting story and describe the music well simultaneously.

Page 163 of 520 All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/