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The Official Review Discussion Thread
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Author:  Zodijackyl [ Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
BastardHead wrote:
:durr: I'll take the blame for that one. The review was more bloated at first and I kind of helped the guy with some tips on how to make the reviews less cumbersome and easier to read, and somehow missed that blatant typo all three times it went through the queue.


In the past two months, Tony told me that I misspelled the third word in a review, and Nightgaunt pointed out that I misspelled something in the title. I write the intro last, and then the title is usually an afterthought, as I can't get too creative with it.
Author:  SortaShooter [ Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
TheStormIRide wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
True story, when I'd first started getting popular here, it was pretty much my dream to end up on that list. When I did see my name there, you might as well have hung a gold record on my wall.


This exactly! When I first saw my user name on that list I was estatic. It was the Pulitzer prize for metal reviews!


I'm touched the little nod meant something to you guys. I used to do a fair amount of documenting the reviewing side of the Metal-Archives; it's probably a very good thing the several thousand word top twenty reviewers list I half-finished writing for some past MA anniversary never saw the light of day, because it would've been just about the most self-indulgent thing to ever appear on this forum, and I'm including requiem99's various odes to himself and the Biblical floods that happen every time Hells_Unicorn feels the need to justify himself to someone.

GuntherTheUndying wrote:
I wasn't invited..... :grumble:


Sorry bud, by the time you started to get really good I'd pretty much stopped updating that list, which is why I deleted the last time I freshened up my profile. If the list still existed, you'd be on it, if that means anything to you!

EDIT: Well hell, I guess I didn't delete it after all. http://www.metal-archives.com/users/OlympicSharpshooter
Author:  GuntherTheUndying [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Tis not a big deal at all, but I was going to say OSS, your Don't Break The Oath review is one of the site's best. :nods:
Author:  OzzyApu [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... /danmarder

The blind Manojob-fanboyism gushing from this review is sickening. I swear I remember it being mentioned somewhere.

Quote:
If there's one thing I'll always love about Manowar it is that they unashamedly embody heavy metal and have done throughout there 32 year history - face it, Manowar are more metal than you.

Wow
Author:  TheStormIRide [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
OzzyApu wrote:
The blind Manojob-fanboyism gushing from this review is sickening. I swear I remember it being mentioned somewhere.



I felt that way too when I first read it. Surprisingly, fanboy-isms aside, he does describe the music. Such apt and poignant descriptions. For example:

Quote:
If you listen to this quietly, the bass sound does resemble a wet fart


and

Quote:
A highlight of this album is definitely Donnie Hamzik's drumming, the man can only be described as animalistic



Stupid quotes aside, there's more musical description than a lot of garbage that comes through, but it is lacking. But... those fanboy lines drive me up a freaking wall!
Author:  OzzyApu [ Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Yeah I wasn't going to deny his descriptions, but it's like the writings of a diehard Manowar fan we've only heard of. The kind that, with no hint of messing around, would call metal a "brotherhood". Like another heavymetalbackwards / FBW / Lippyass.

Oh, and I knew I saw the review somewhere else - the oven fodder thread yesterday.
Author:  SortaShooter [ Thu Sep 06, 2012 4:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
GuntherTheUndying wrote:
Tis not a big deal at all, but I was going to say OSS, your Don't Break The Oath review is one of the site's best. :nods:


Cheers!
Author:  MrFreddy [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Hello! I wanted to point out that I wrote a review for Brain Drill - Apocalyptic Feasting on September 4th, and it's still pending. Maybe the mods forgot it? If they were busy and could not moderate the review until now, I apologise.
Author:  Metantoine [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
MrFreddy wrote:
Hello! I wanted to point out that I wrote a review for Brain Drill - Apocalyptic Feasting on September 4th, and it's still pending. Maybe the mods forgot it? If they were busy and could not moderate the review until now, I apologise.

That's only 5 days, yours will have to wait since you're impatient.
Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Pretty much the general rule of thumb is that if your review hasn't been moderated yet, don't ask about it, it just gets under the mods' skin. The queue can get really backed up at times, depending on how many mods are working it and how much time they have to do so. Also, if the review is for a well reviewed album like Apocalyptic Feasting (with 19 reviews already), oftentimes we'll put it aside and get to it later after we've tackled less covered stuff.
Author:  MrFreddy [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
I'm really sorry.

The other reviews were moderated lightning-fast so I guess I was unaccostumed to normal moderation time.
I was not aware of that "rule", I should have checked out before.

Once again, I apologize
Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Don't sweat it, it's no biggie. We'll get to it when we get to it, sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes you're lucky and you'll submit it right when a mod is working in there. I've waited three weeks and I've waited five minutes, you just never know.
Author:  hakarl [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Positive reviews, especially in the "pretty good/decent" range, are usually boring and uninteresting to write, extremely good albums deserve well-written and in-depth reviews to do the music justice and are thus long and difficult projects, and while the most entertaining to write, reviewing shitty albums involves listening to shitty music.

How do you find the motivation? :|
Author:  Jophelerx [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
"Well-written and in-depth" reviews are not necessarily long, difficult projects. I write most of my reviews in under an hour, and I've gotten a couple of 8-pointers. It just depends on how comfortable you are with writing and describing music, I guess.
Author:  Pr0nogo [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Yeah, I usually find that (after a few listens) I get a review for an album done before the album finishes - and I've reviewed both 20-minute EPs and longer-than-an-hour LPs. It's really a matter of how masterful you are with the English language (diction, comfort with writing, etc.) and how well you know the album.

That being said, there are plenty of albums that just stump me or I just procrastinate and don't review until later. I'm a lazy prick like that.
Author:  droneriot [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
The new Cryptopsy has the highest average since None So Vile. That can't be right...
Author:  GuntherTheUndying [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Some negative reviews will pour in shortly......but I never noticed how low Cryptopsy's general album ratings are:

Whisper Supremacy Full-length 1998 16 (74%)
And Then You'll Beg Full-length 2000 14 (63%)
Once Was Not Full-length 2005 13 (77%)
The Unspoken King Full-length 2008 15 (16%)

Spoiler: show
Not surprised by The Unspoken King, obviously.


Then again, folks might be a little inclined to bump those ratings a bit because of their artistic surge back from pooville. Just a personal theory of mine, is all.
Author:  BastardHead [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
I expected this honestly. I haven't heard the album myself but from what I could gather it's a step back towards Once Was Not and And Then You'll Beg, so of course it's getting positive reviews purely due to the depths of the last album. It'll even out eventually, this happens with most big name releases.
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
GuntherTheUndying wrote:
Then again, folks might be a little inclined to bump those ratings a bit because of their artistic surge back from pooville. Just a personal theory of mine, is all.

I do agree with that theory. The will of wanting to go from 0 to 100 in one release is clearly showing off.
Author:  droneriot [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Up to nine reviews now, still at 81% average.
Author:  oneyoudontknow [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Xothist/Xothist/326568/
Wow ... just wow ...
Quote:
By being a debut release a new artist, this album does quite well. ... The quality of this album is not that well...Who cares about sound quality? Even if what I hear is white noise all the time, ... simple yet incredible guitar work ... The drums, whenever played, ... The drums are what keep my rating from perfect.
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
That review is pretty messed up in the head, but who cares about being messed up when we're talking black metal? The writing is just white noise just as the sounds of the album apparently! :scratch:
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 9:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
androdion wrote:
Yo Willytank! I really liked reading your review of that Dream Theater album. I myself own it and it was also the first I bought from the batch I own from them, and I also haven't heard it in a while. I think that deep down I fear that the "alarms" you describe may be set off by listening to it nowadays. ;)


Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Wilytank wrote:
androdion wrote:
Yo Willytank! I really liked reading your review of that Dream Theater album. I myself own it and it was also the first I bought from the batch I own from them, and I also haven't heard it in a while. I think that deep down I fear that the "alarms" you describe may be set off by listening to it nowadays. ;)


Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.

What do you mean? It's still there.

On an unrelated note, does no one write less than raving reviews for the new Cattle Decapitation album? 98% on 8 reviews with six of them being 100% scores???
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
androdion wrote:
Wilytank wrote:

Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.

What do you mean? It's still there.


Not this site, this one.
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Oh, now I get it.

"fruity: Something that seems odd or queer. Not neccesarily 'gay'."

With that being said I actually don't get it. Internet reviews now get censored on accounts of possibly, but not really, relating to homophobia?! People have weird standards I must say. You can say "fuck" and "shit" all you want but let's not hint at the possibility of something maybe or possibly being deemed as "gay". :nono:
Author:  MalignantThrone [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
androdion wrote:
On an unrelated note, does no one write less than raving reviews for the new Cattle Decapitation album? 98% on 8 reviews with six of them being 100% scores???

Ugh, I know. Same goes for Koloss - it's a steaming pile of shit, but it's seen nothing but blind, glowing praise so far.
Author:  Zodijackyl [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
MalignantThrone wrote:
androdion wrote:
On an unrelated note, does no one write less than raving reviews for the new Cattle Decapitation album? 98% on 8 reviews with six of them being 100% scores???

Ugh, I know. Same goes for Koloss - it's a steaming pile of shit, but it's seen nothing but blind, glowing praise so far.


I started writing a review of Koloss, but I think I need to explain my position with a lot of detail.
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Wilytank wrote:
androdion wrote:
Yo Willytank! I really liked reading your review of that Dream Theater album. I myself own it and it was also the first I bought from the batch I own from them, and I also haven't heard it in a while. I think that deep down I fear that the "alarms" you describe may be set off by listening to it nowadays. ;)


Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.

Proof that MA is better, eh!

Any of you guys interested in a review challenge?
Author:  Jophelerx [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Metantoine wrote:
Any of you guys interested in a review challenge?


I'd be down for that, I have yet to participate in one.
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Metantoine wrote:
Wilytank wrote:

Update on that review: MMA has decided to delete it for "profanity" and use of the word "fruity". Such white guilt.

Proof that MA is better, eh!


I'm beginning to feel that way. I've been posting my reviews first to this site now instead of there. Anyway, what is this challenge all about?
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Just throwing the idea, to see if there's enough people who wants in. I'm thining of themes right now and I'm opened to suggestions.

Also, you're a traitor, Wily!!! :)
Author:  GuntherTheUndying [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Yeah, I'm down. Are we talking about the now-defunct zero-review albums like before, or something different?
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
I guess, this or a Soulfly review challenge! We need lots of people though.
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Metantoine wrote:
Soulfly review challenge!


lol no
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
It would be hilarious!!! Me and Gunther are talking about it, feel free to offer themes.
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
Well, I've never participated in a review challenge and I've barely written jack shit for a long while now, so I'd be open to almost anything.

How about writing reviews for albums that haven't had any reviews posted for it here in over a year. Maybe two years if you're really daring.
Author:  BastardHead [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
The original point of the challenges was to add to the site in the form of reviews for albums with none. A Soulfly challenge would result in me hunting down everybody who participated and punching them in the nose.
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
What's wrong with a bit of humour, eh, I get it, it's not a good idea, no need to threaten anyone! I know what was the point of the old challenges, nothing wrong with themes and innovation either. I'm thinking of doing a poll with 4 or 5 different options including the Classic Mode. Again, any good suggestions are gonna be considered.

Oh, and I have rewards for the winners!
Author:  Pr0nogo [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Official Review Discussion Thread
I'll join.

@Cattle Decapitation, that album is actually pretty sweet. Obviously, this is all opinion, so... shit.
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