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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:11 am 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
If The Chemical Wedding is groove metal, then I must really fucking love groove metal.


In your defense (and mine, as I still love the album too), it's groove metal done right (which is what the title of my review will be if I ever get around to it).
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26263
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:20 am 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
If The Chemical Wedding is groove metal, then I must really fucking love groove metal.


Who was saying that?

It's a heavy metal album. Got some modern elements here and there but it isn't Pantera or something like that. "Machine Men" comes close I guess - not much else.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:27 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Twisted_Psychology wrote:
If The Chemical Wedding is groove metal, then I must really fucking love groove metal.


Who was saying that?

It's a heavy metal album. Got some modern elements here and there but it isn't Pantera or something like that. "Machine Men" comes close I guess - not much else.


It's in my AMOLAD review. I don't know, listening to the breakdown of Book Of Thel I was getting images of these nu-metal bass players doing that wiggerish snake curl dance they usually do those moments. It is a killer breakdown, but I could also feel my hair beginning to turn orange and my pants starting to baggify themselves. Thankfully Roy Z and Adrian's solos put a stop to it fairly quickly.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26263
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:33 am 
 

The whole tone and atmosphere I get from it are so much different from what I associate with groove metal. The guitar sound is similar, but the writing and way those songs are done just doesn't sound like groove metal to me. Too much melody and atmosphere... maybe my definition is too narrow, I dunno.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:38 am 
 

Like I said, it's groove metal done correctly. :lol:
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 4052
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:06 pm 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
Twisted_Psychology wrote:
If The Chemical Wedding is groove metal, then I must really fucking love groove metal.


In your defense (and mine, as I still love the album too), it's groove metal done right (which is what the title of my review will be if I ever get around to it).


I strongly disagree with such labeling though I can see where you're coming from on it. Either way I'll just be glad that you're coming from a positive angle. I was about ready to choke a bitch.
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lonerider
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:00 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:53 pm 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
Second of all if you read my review you'd have seen this chestnut:

"Finally, and I realize this is petty and slightly non musical but I'm taking at least 20 points off for the worst decision this band made since choosing Blaze Bayley as a lead vocalist: playing the entire album live."

13 + 20 = 33. There you go.



Well, since you brought it up yourself: this is exactly what I was talking about.

What does Maiden's subsequent decision to play the entire album live have to do with the quality of the album itself? The obvious answer is nothing, which you even admitted in your own review. So why not just leave the "official" score - you know, the one that's shown above the review and goes into calculating the average score out of all reviews posted for that album - at 33? You could still have mentioned your annoyance about them playing the entire album live in the review itself, if it was that important to you. But it shouldn't influence your decision on how to grade it.

Anyway, I don't have any beef with you personally and I didn't mean to single you out in any way. This is a problem that has existed since this site came into being, so you are hardly the first "offender" and you won't be the last. I just think that we should at least attempt - and attempt is all we can really do, as writing reviews is a naturally subjective thing - to be somewhat objective when deciding on a final score. I know it can be fun to just rip into a release, to ridicule it and make fun of the band that put it out there. I'm guilty of this too and I certainly enjoy reading a damning review if it's well written and not lacking in witty humor. But if nothing else, at least the final verdict should be taken seriously and chosen carefully, or so I think.

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lonerider
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:00 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:46 pm 
 

As far as Dickinson's Chemical Wedding is concerned, it ranks as my favorite Dickinson solo album and I seriously doubt it can be labeled groove metal, if for no other reason than the fact I absolutely cannot stand groove metal. ;-) However, there is one song on that record that I have never really gotten into and maybe that's because this particular song has some groove metal elements in it. I'm talking about "Killing Floor" with its chunky riffing and dull repetitive chorus. I find that track mediocre at best. The rest of that album, however, is almost immaculate.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5005
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:00 pm 
 

So there was a Judas Iscariot review for the album The Cold Earth Slept Below briefly on here today before getting deleted(?). It said something about being the next Satanic Warmaster in relation to the drums. Yes, Satanic Warmaster. A band that didn't even exist in 1996.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:09 pm 
 

Why do you think it was retroactively rejected?
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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 12:18 pm 
 

Glad to see Holy Grail receiving some long-overdue recognition! (i.e.JudasX & Gasmask_C's recent contributions).

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 295
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:50 pm 
 

Psyche_Dome wrote:
Tanuki provided a really good Saxon discography review.

Cheers!

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Here's another Tanuki twist which made me laugh out loud, from his Angel Witch - Frontal Assault review:

<Also not helping matters is the production quality, which is something I should've mentioned a long time ago. There's a grimy, muddled mixing not unlike Cobra's infamous Back from the Dead. It's like listening to metal through a gimp mask...

Jocose to a fault, just the way I like it!

:lol: Thank you, thank you. I've just finished revising that review, funnily enough; I'm working on a full discography review of Angel Witch, too. Shouldn't be as arduous as Saxon's, I hope!

Looking forward to reading your Angel Witch review, Chair!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 12:26 am 
 

OooH! An Angel Witch rundown! Should be interesting considering the band's roller-coasting album (apparently, it's latest is quite refined and commendable...). As for myself, yes, tomorrow is the day I shall duly embark on AW's mammoth, two-hour long 20th Anniversary Edition LP.
I've my work cut out for me, that's for sure! It' s going to be a real challenge i.e. keeping it around the 1000 word mark or so.
Except for a few tepid tracks, the album's imbued with a certain endearing vintage flair which epitomizes the NWOBHM. "Angel Witch" proper, "Baphomet", "Hades Paradise" and "White Witch are definite highlights while I certainly dig the bonus cuts i.e "Dr.Phibes", "Suffer", "Loser"...you know the drill! In any case, I'm devoting my entire Wednesday to it tomorrow in order to post it before 9pm my time (midnight for the MA HQ!)...Chairs!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:01 am 
 

Urf! (mission accomplished!)...

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 295
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2018 10:14 am 
 

You nailed it! Kudos for that Ivory Tiger drum comparison, its totally spot-on and really thinking outside the box. Really dug the whole paragraph dedicated to solo analysis, as well, that was a really comprehensive and precise synopsis. Glad you brought up the Baphomet solo in particular, that one's so ahead of its time.

Quote:
...Heybourne's despondently malefic demeanor...

Love it!

Great review for an incredible album, nice work man.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2018 10:32 am 
 

Thanks! (insert dream trolling emoji here!)

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8051
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2018 3:17 pm 
 

I'm very pleased that Tanuki has done the whole Saxon discography. I read a few and they were great reads, too. I shall check out more!
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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:21 pm 
 

I'm inspired by Tanuki's Saxon rundown to embark on a Vardis anthology! Man, their debut full-length, 100 MPH (a live album, but a darn good one!), kicks major butt! Highly worth digging on viewtube...

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TitaniumNK
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:33 pm
Posts: 16
Location: Montenegro
PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:33 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Saxon/Thunderbolt/679877/kluseba/238242
Quote:
Saxon has been playing heavy metal by the numbers for four decades but for some unfathomable reason, the British quintet is still around and quite popular. I've decided to give the band's new record a few spins since Saxon is going on tour with the much more energizing, talented and variable Judas Priest.


Anyone ready to place bet that Thunderbolt will prove to be a way stronger record than Firepower? Not to mention latest streak of very solid Saxon albums at worst, whereas last worthwhile JP album was Painkiller, released in, erm... 1990.

Quote:
As soon as you give this release a second spin though, the songs become dull and predictable as they are too closely inspired by other heavy metal legends and prove that Saxon have never quite found their own style after all these years.


Fucking hell.

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 295
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:58 pm 
 

Thanks Acrobat, glad to hear it! I really enjoyed your Saxon reviews too, To the Power and the Gumby and The Gumby has Landed are both laugh out loud funny.

TitaniumNK wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Saxon/Thunderbolt/679877/kluseba/238242
Quote:
Saxon has been playing heavy metal by the numbers for four decades but for some unfathomable reason, the British quintet is still around and quite popular. I've decided to give the band's new record a few spins since Saxon is going on tour with the much more energizing, talented and variable Judas Priest.


Anyone ready to place bet that Thunderbolt will prove to be a way stronger record than Firepower? Not to mention latest streak of very solid Saxon albums at worst, whereas last worthwhile JP album was Painkiller, released in, erm... 1990.

That review gave me chest pains. Calling Saxon's modern stuff "by the numbers" is bad enough, but to say Saxon never had their own style is just contrarian claptrap.

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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7756
Location: The Land Down Under (no, not THAT one)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:05 pm 
 

TitaniumNK wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Saxon/Thunderbolt/679877/kluseba/238242
Quote:
Saxon has been playing heavy metal by the numbers for four decades but for some unfathomable reason, the British quintet is still around and quite popular. I've decided to give the band's new record a few spins since Saxon is going on tour with the much more energizing, talented and variable Judas Priest.


Anyone ready to place bet that Thunderbolt will prove to be a way stronger record than Firepower? Not to mention latest streak of very solid Saxon albums at worst, whereas last worthwhile JP album was Painkiller, released in, erm... 1990.

Quote:
As soon as you give this release a second spin though, the songs become dull and predictable as they are too closely inspired by other heavy metal legends and prove that Saxon have never quite found their own style after all these years.


Fucking hell.

Kluseba is a passive aggressive, garbage tier reviewer who rarely knows what he's talking about. Pay no mind to him.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26263
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:10 pm 
 

kluseba's opinion seems to always be that the more original and unique a thing is, the better it is. And while I myself enjoy groundbreaking music and truly original sounds, it seems to me a very one-dimensional way to see art if the only way you can enjoy something is if it's breaking some new ground. If it's good, it's good.

Personally I can't trust your opinion if you think Sacrifice is a weak album. That shit rules hard. I am gonna buy the new Saxon next time I go on a trip where I can hear all of it in one go.
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TadakatsuH0nda
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:37 am
Posts: 382
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 6:41 pm 
 

Nitro's O.F.R. with a perfect scored review, I've seen it all now. :P
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5005
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 7:33 pm 
 

I’m more surprised GuiltySpawn is still lurking.
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iamntbatman wrote:
Twisted_Psychology wrote:
My cousin made me an edible peanut butter sandwich


Is that unusual? Do your cousin's peanut butter sandwiches typically contain broken glass?


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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4372
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:28 pm 
 

>2018
>Still taking Kluseba seriously enough to have a big discussion every time he says something stupid
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:47 pm 
 

I had no idea who this klacebo whatever guy was until I took a peek in the "reviewers to avoid" thread, and I'm shocked you guys didn't ban him and delete all his reviews the second he said "great reviews or great art should be done to get reaction."
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4372
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:30 pm 
 

And then didn't he favourably compare himself to trump or something?
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:43 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
And then didn't he favourably compare himself to trump or something?


Indeed, and judging from how super far-left the headmasters are here I'm double shocked he was still breathing after that one.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:03 am 
 

Aw, c'mon guys, klacebo, ahem, kluseba, as a token iron man feather ruffler, is integral to the Archives' all-encompassing appeal! (or something like that...);

if anything, we have to concede he unabashedly provides great discussion fodder for the masses!

I didn't really want to take part of the whole tar & feather lambasting but at this point I can't help myself!

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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:12 am 
 

So...(ho-hum), thought I'd simply comment on BassLord's Scalpel review...a fine, insightful and erudite read which includes a nice sidebar relating to the groovy, eye-catching cover art...Scalpel, what a great band name! (Why didn't I ever think of it?!)

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 484
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 4:47 pm 
 

Am I the only one that thought that that Facelift review was tough to get through? It was mostly "fans of ____ would like it, but fans of ____ wouldn't" *jabs at certain genres/bands*, and then just a few opinions regarding a few songs without much description at all.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 5:18 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
Am I the only one that thought that that Facelift review was tough to get through? It was mostly "fans of ____ would like it, but fans of ____ wouldn't" *jabs at certain genres/bands*, and then just a few opinions regarding a few songs without much description at all.


I would love to be able to give an opinion on every song, except, you know, rules.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 484
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 5:31 pm 
 

Well it wasn't so much that it's only a few songs, just that there isn't much description of the ones you picked or the album as a whole in general, just sorta which ones you like and who else would like them.

This actually reminded me of how long it's been since I listened to Facelift. Gonna have to revisit that now.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 5:44 pm 
 

AIC'S Facelift is a freaking great album! I especially dig Sea of Sorrow; in fact, it's likely my fav album of theirs!

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1826
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:15 am 
 

You know what's awful? When the site's text box grammar checker doesn't understand how versatile the word "their" is. It keeps suggesting I use they're except I'm not suggesting an action "they are" taking.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:29 pm 
 

Haha! The spellchecker is indeed retarded! I always simply 'add to dictionary" everything underlined in red - sort of of an obsessive quirk...the worst is on my Word program - it'll purposefully shaft my sentences to the point where I have to keep insisting "no, that's how I want it, dammit!" - the fact I tend to sometimes invent words/alliterations doesn't help at all...

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gasmask_colostomy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 163
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:59 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Haha! The spellchecker is indeed retarded! I always simply 'add to dictionary" everything underlined in red - sort of of an obsessive quirk...the worst is on my Word program - it'll purposefully shaft my sentences to the point where I have to keep insisting "no, that's how I want it, dammit!" - the fact I tend to sometimes invent words/alliterations doesn't help at all...


Oh well, I guess I've taught my MS Word quite a lot over the years. Hopefully they will use all my useful tips when they're making the new one...

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YADF
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 08, 2012 11:52 am
Posts: 33
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:06 pm 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
Luvers666 wrote:
I have had a review pending for 13 days now. Any chance of an update?


Be patient. There are folks in the queue who have had reviews for three times as long.


Yep I have one that's over a month now.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 176
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:06 am 
 

Note to self: make sure to flag down some Crab Shack! (i.e. Bayern's twisted and amusing review)...

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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 484
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:31 pm 
 

Little shoutout to TrooperEd; after reading like 3 in a row, I can't say I always agree/like them, but they're always entertaining to read because of how much personality is there. Really dug the "Slaughter Of The Soul" review.
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