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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 583
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:51 am 
 

Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."


Thanks for the sig :D
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Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."

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gasmask_colostomy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 75
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:28 am 
 

Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."


All joking aside, if the new Nightwish album is called that, I'm buying it no matter who is on vocals!

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 924
Location: Frozen dead land where sharp winds blow
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:09 pm 
 

WR95 wrote:
Lich Coldheart wrote:
So... after numerous attempts at bashing Master of Puppets someone decided to downplay Rust in Peace instead. :annoyed: Is Reign in Blood next? Or Spreading the Disease? Bonded by Blood?

They did it again, but with a deplorable score of 15%, worse than Falconsbane's one in 11 years. I'm crestfallen.

I have to admit I'm genuinely not butthurt this time. Him saying he's a Megadeth fanboy and yet dislikes Rust in Peace is a clear sign of trolling and trying-too-hard to me. I believe a lot of people reading the review would reach the same conclusion so there's not much harm done except for insignificantly lowering the overall score of an album that's known worldwide among metalheads for it's astounding musicianship, diversity and inspiration. There might be some people out there that like thrash and genuinely dislike Rust in Peace but none of them has managed to come forth so far and put out a review that expresses their arguments clearly and thoroughly.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:46 pm 
 

After seeing the the reviews for Poser Holocaust I just had to check it out; it sounded like a bunch of retards found and drank a crate of Coca-Cola, then found some electric instruments to play.

Thrash_Lord's first review for this album states:

Quote:
However this album does have it’s flaws. Like I said earlier, the riffs lack variation and seem to go on forever; it’s like a fat man running on a treadmill for hours and hours until he questions himself on whether he should stop or keep going. I don’t really mind Dr. Fukk's vocals because I see them as a parody of the legendary thrash vocalists such as Steve Souza and Bobby Blitz, but the vocal delivery do have moments of being overdone to the point to where they can get really annoying. Those two things I pointed out are the main problems with Thrash or Die


If that's the case why is the reviewer giving the album the highest mark?

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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 757
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:50 pm 
 

I came here to post pretty much the exact same thing Psyche_Dome did. I'm not even mad that it's one of those "let's counterbalance the low percentage" sort of reviews, whatever, but your numerical rating's gotta represent what you think of the album to the closest extent possible. 100s are not god damn pity candy!

It's also curiously timed, given the discussion of Thrash or Die on the previous page two weeks ago...
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2421
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:44 pm 
 

It's possible that Thrash_Lord is a fan of the band in question and somehow stumbled upon this site while doing a search given that the recent activity both on the forum and with a couple new reviews up affected the search engine results, though it looks a bit more like an attempt at getting attention given the perfect score, which doesn't really jive with the content of the review (the qualifications involved makes it sound like it should be scored in the low 90s or high 80s).

I heard the album in question a few years back, didn't find it to be anything to write home about, but was perplexed at all the hate it was getting, which I'm assuming had to do with how the band was promoting the album. If I ever elected to review it, I'd probably score it somewhere in the low 60s, along with a lot of other albums I find passable but would probably not listen to again.
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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:22 pm 
 

I'm amazed that his "better than 90% of black metal" comment on a site like this didn't cause an uproar.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2421
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:37 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
I'm amazed that his "better than 90% of black metal" comment on a site like this didn't cause an uproar.


It probably would have a couple years back, but I think now things are not quite as "trve" in these parts as they used to be, I think my old buddy droneriot has been on extended hiatus for several months too. It's a dumb-ass thing to say, but I don't think there are enough people that would care to raise much of a fuss. I do agree with him on the part about Poser Holocaust being better than Roots, but that was still a pretty random thing to throw in to the review.
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Last edited by hells_unicorn on Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 75
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:38 am 
 

I'm really impressed with CHAIRTHROWER's last few reviews, especially the one for Witchery just posted here: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... WER/374625

He's managing to put his clever wordplay side by side with more thorough analysis and really get to the bottom of releases in a fun way. Plus, his seal of approval is pretty funny: if the album's good and heavy, there's always the mention of chairs being broken.

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DwightSchrute
Not a Mistress

Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:41 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Ireland
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:22 am 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
I'm really impressed with CHAIRTHROWER's last few reviews, especially the one for Witchery just posted here: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... WER/374625

He's managing to put his clever wordplay side by side with more thorough analysis and really get to the bottom of releases in a fun way. Plus, his seal of approval is pretty funny: if the album's good and heavy, there's always the mention of chairs being broken.


I've been lurking on this sub-forum a little bit lately to try to get tips for my reviews. I noticed this as well and have to give CHAIRTHROWER (caps for extra aggression) a +1. He uses gimmicks in his articles too, glad I'm not alone in that!

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Twisted_Psychology
Veteran

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 3682
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:18 pm 
 

Gotta say that the most recent reviews for the new Queensryche reviews are decently written but boy do those scores seem really exaggerated when you put them alongside each other.
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Jimmy Calhoun
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:29 pm
Posts: 620
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:06 pm 
 

Not sure this is the right thread, but I submitted a review of Burning Caskets' CD about 3 days ago and it's still listed as "pending." The only reason I ask is because this is much more time than I've ever waited for an acceptance/rejection previously. If it's simply an issue of too many reviews to read at the moment, then I certainly understand.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:57 pm 
 

If you've never had to wait more than ~3 days, consider yourself extremely lucky. Some of the entries in the queue are weeks old.
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Jimmy Calhoun
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:29 pm
Posts: 620
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:44 pm 
 

Got it, thanks!
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Liquid_Braino
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 am
Posts: 400
PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 5:35 pm 
 

DwightSchrute wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
I've been lurking on this sub-forum a little bit lately to try to get tips for my reviews. I noticed this as well and have to give CHAIRTHROWER (caps for extra aggression) a +1. He uses gimmicks in his articles too, glad I'm not alone in that!

I like his new Night Viper review, lots of enthusiasm for a great band. On the downside, that was to be one of my "virgins" next week...oh well.

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gasmask_colostomy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 75
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:10 am 
 

Liquid_Braino wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER

I like his new Night Viper review, lots of enthusiasm for a great band. On the downside, that was to be one of my "virgins" next week...oh well.


Feel your pain man, it was on my list too. I spoke to him about that album last month and hinted that there would be a surprise review of something during the VRC. Maybe I should have said what... There's nothing worse than seeing a prime young album defiled just before the week starts.

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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 6:13 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Hun/419712

This review is atrocious, and no it's not just because it's a low score for an album I really like. Literally all it says is "this part is ok, this part's ok, but this is bad quality and this is bad quality. Overall the album is bad quality". There is zero musical description as to why it's bad quality, it says that their covers weren't good but doesn't say why, and really just touches on how "this band couldn't decide what sound they wanted". What do you guys think?

Edit: After clicking the profile, I almost wonder if this was a troll account to trigger people like myself, seeing it's brand new and has all "N/A". If that's the case, well played, and you got me.
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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 32
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 11:23 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Deep_Purple/Shades_of_Deep_Purple/475159/ZoltanTheHun/419712

This review is atrocious, and no it's not just because it's a low score for an album I really like. Literally all it says is "this part is ok, this part's ok, but this is bad quality and this is bad quality. Overall the album is bad quality". There is zero musical description as to why it's bad quality, it says that their covers weren't good but doesn't say why, and really just touches on how "this band couldn't decide what sound they wanted". What do you guys think?

Absolutely agree. Several of them are on my blacklist, like those 2 who were pissed off on Rust In Peace (fullmetalraincoat, TheArchivist). And the infamous HamburgerBoy who is an active user of the forum but was only encouraged to rant to Seventh Son, instead of talking about albums which he likes since he is sooo underground and true, who doesn't like "Flower Metal" ¬¬

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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:28 am 
 

Lol, flower metal? I don't think I saw this.
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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 32
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:49 am 
 

He doesn't say it in his review. But in the forum he said that Seventh Son used to be his favorite record. Maybe a pseudo trve friend did brainwash him and humiliated him for having liked that Maiden album. I had a classmate who made fun of me for saying that I like Youthanasia, but this record is still among my top 3 Megadeth. I don't change my tastes for comments by pseudo trves assholes.

I can imagine that guy saying - "My favorite Maiden album is Seventh Son". - His friend: Yuck, you like that flower metal release? - HamburgerBoy thinking: Oh my gosh, "flower metal", a new word, I would repeat this sentence to other metalheads.

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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:34 pm 
 

Oh, yeah I gotcha, I absolutely hate that mindset, and could definitely see that happening.
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Twisted_Psychology
Veteran

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 3682
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:27 am 
 

If Seventh Son is flower metal, then I guess I have a new favorite subgenre.
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hells_unicorn
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2421
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:41 pm 
 

I don't know who originally coined the derogatory "flower metal" term, but Ultraboris was one of the key figures on this site that popularized it and associated it with any type of European power metal band that had both speed metal elements and keyboards. A lot of reviewers during the mid to late 2000s were trying to imitate his over-the-top comedy routine, and I wasn't immune to occasionally borrowing from his formula when hating on certain groove metal albums that I didn't like. However, I always found his dismissive pseudo-purist thrasher routine extremely tiresome at times and woefully limiting. He wasn't so much a "trve douche bag" as he was a wannabe old school thrash guy who began suffering from heavy metal grandpa syndrome. Pretty much everybody who uses that stupid "flower metal" term comes off that way to me, especially when lobbing it at albums like Seventh Son and Somewhere In Time.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 25715
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:00 pm 
 

Most people who use 'flower metal' as a serious term don't bother really listening to a lot of those bands and just dismiss them based on the lack of traditional 80s-style riffs at the forefront of the music. Which is fine, that's their taste - but I just think they're missing the quality sometimes. Oh well.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 17
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:40 am 
 

Wow, gasmask_colostomy and hell's unicorn are tearing a helluva swath in the VRC already!

Oh, and thanks for the kind werdz regarding the Night Vype...let's see how many "normies" we can convert to metal with "Never Win"...haha!

Stormride: Love the Midnight/ of Death & Ecstasy review from last month; it instantly made me think of Boulder. a long forgotten monster of a band from my (addled) youth -- lo and behold it's a (manic) J. Walters project. The drum beat on the 3rd track is too good for words...
Expect a cozy-upper on that one before the year's up!
p.s. should tackle the SS view tomorrow or Wed...(NA is encroaching on my MA!)

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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1838
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:21 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Stormride: Love the Midnight/ of Death & Ecstasy review from last month; it instantly made me think of Boulder. a long forgotten monster of a band from my (addled) youth -- lo and behold it's a (manic) J. Walters project. The drum beat on the 3rd track is too good for words...
Expect a cozy-upper on that one before the year's up!


Thanks man! That's definitely one of my favorites so far this year. I love how Athenar finally decided to stretch a few songs past the five minute mark.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:12 pm 
 

Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Mixed reviews thus far for the new album.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 4810
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 7:35 pm 
 

I think I just accepted the shortest acceptable review ever.

(Please let's not make this a challenge, guys. :P)
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4509
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:16 pm 
 

i dare say that it still somehow got more content than quite a few longer reviews out there

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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4357
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:51 pm 
 

Psyche_Dome wrote:
Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Don't see how that's funny or clever at all and he's one of the worst prolific reviewers out there.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:33 am 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Psyche_Dome wrote:
Kluseba ends his Morbid Angel review with, 'This isn't death metal but dead metal.' Hahaha

Don't see how that's funny or clever at all and he's one of the worst prolific reviewers out there.


Sensitivity

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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:35 am 
 

Derigin wrote:
I think I just accepted the shortest acceptable review ever.

(Please let's not make this a challenge, guys. :P)


Does Exactly What it Says on the Tin!

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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:58 am 
 

I definitely agree that he's one of the worst, but I don't entirely disagree with his opinion. I thought Kingdoms Disdained was extremely average and it didn't really do much for me.
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4357
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:05 pm 
 

Rest assured, I wasn't defending the album. It's the epitome of redundancy.
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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 4769
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:58 pm 
 

As far as negative reviews for that album go, The Crazy Old School Music Fan puts it into better words simply by virtue of not being an Illud apologist.

Also, dystopia, CAUSTIC BROTHERS!!! That album's been one I've been eyeing up for a while for the challenge even though I was sure someone else would hit it beforehand. There's still something satisfying about drawing first blood.
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4357
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:12 pm 
 

Yeah man, was actually surprised that no one had reviewed it before the challenge. I know sludge isn't particularly popular around these parts, but they're one of the more noteworthy bands in the style right now. Anyway, good shit.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:46 am 
 

Kritik comes out panning Poser Holocaust's Thrash or Die while also giving it some merit for being 'funny'. What's 'funny' is that he promoted his older Anthrax review; I read that one, as well. What's worse–'90s Anthrax or '90s Metallica?

There's also a Weapon review which I initially thought was the band from the NWOBHM, but it's not; it's a band who looked like a cross dressing, Star Ship, tribute act.

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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1838
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:17 am 
 

Thanks for doing all three Secret Satan choices CHAIRTHROWER! It's good to finally see reviews for some of those local bands. I still have some time, so I'll try to get in one of your other choices before time is out.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13666
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:26 pm 
 

BastardHead: Cool review of Ogarya's Ubiquitous. I like that album, too, and you hit the nail on the head that it doesn't have any obvious standout tracks, but works well as a cohesive unit.
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Psyche_Dome
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 3:31 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:08 am 
 

To quote hells_unicorn's Weapon review: 'it was Weapon, a band that looks like the post-Grace Slick era of Starship'

WAY TO GO HELLS_UNICORN!!! https://youtu.be/DjtJ4AZuKlE

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