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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 601
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:33 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Yeah in all honesty, this review is probably the closest to a review equivalent of "selling out" you'll ever see outside of me taking a paid gig to shill for awful emodjent. I'm frankly just exhausted with Wintersun at this point. I didn't go into the shit about the crowdfunding because I just can't be fucked to type it all out again, and the review had a defeated tone because, well, I'm more or less defeated at this point. It's hard to summon up the appropriate amount of bile when the album is as much of a pointless bunny fart as The Forest Seasons is. I just don't fucking care anymore and clearly neither does Jari.


If it's any consolation the overall response I have garnered from the internet has been less than warm. Whether this means people will give Jari less money or double down on their bet remains to be seen.

Of course some dickhead just went and gave it 95% and used the old "Well don't get over expecting shit if you want to be disappointed" argument so fuck people.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 25703
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 1:31 am 
 

zeingard wrote:
Of course some dickhead just went and gave it 95% and used the old "Well don't get over expecting shit if you want to be disappointed" argument so fuck people.


Pretty sure that reviewer doesn't really know what good music sounds like... shame.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5312
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 8:34 am 
 

You know a review most likely isn't worth reading, when it says ''if you go into this with an open mind....''

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 8532
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 8:58 am 
 

"If you can just accept that it's a great album"

Holy shit the requirement to enjoy this album is to just give up and say it's great regardless of what you think? Jesus fuck I will never understand this fan base.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3793
Location: Fml States of America
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:12 am 
 

It's almost as if they're willing to admit that if they thought about it, they'd realize they weren't that into it, but aren't willing to go that extra .1 miles.

BastardHead wrote:
In the eternal winter of Russia, beyond the darkest caves where sunlight never spreads, there sleeps a man. A whisper reaches the wind, and the wind carries the whisper across all manner of frozen terrain. The whisper reaches the man's ear. His eyes shoot open into perfect spheres and he shoots upright, breaking his intermittent slumber. He sniffs the air as his eyes narrow. "Somebody is speaking ill of Wintersun..." he growls under his breath. "MADNESS!" he shouts as he flings the blankets off of his legs and sprints to the computer to retaliate in the most obviously phony "calm, rational person" voice he can for the forty fifth time.

This is better than anything John_Sunlight has ever written here.
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4507
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:17 am 
 

you just dont get john sunlight

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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5312
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

tomcat_ha wrote:
you just dont get john sunlight


I don't think anyone does. :p

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 4768
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 6:09 pm 
 

I didn't even realize Wintersun was releasing an album so soon or was planning on releasing a third album at all. Are we going to go through another round of just people submitting reviews with polarizing opinions and giving this album more attention than it needs?
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 7704
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:36 pm 
 

You're literally the only person on this website who didn't know Wintersun were putting out a new album.
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Azmodes
Est un Satananas

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 9352
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:18 am 
 

Nah, I also had no clue until Tony mentioned it in the chat a few days before the release date. I checked it out once, didn't care for it. The end.
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TheStormIRide
Jesuscop

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1837
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 8:25 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Honestly, the newer review by Khat57 above mine is about ten times better. Not only does he actually touch on the crowdfunding aspect (which, in this case, is absolutely worth talking about since it was such a huge factor in the album's conception), but he does a much better job of really illustrating just how little actually happens and how the songs never really progress from one idea to another. They don't even evoke the feelings of the seasons they're supposed to represent, and that's such an obvious thing that should be mocked (considering it's the entire concept behind the album) that I genuinely can't believe I didn't even notice it.


This line had me rolling:

Khat57 wrote:
...but the idea of The Forest Seasons came off as "just an album" to use as a product for a hefty crowdfunding campaign so the band can create their own elaborate studio and fully realize the ideas they want to use for Time II, like their heart wasn't really there for this one because they couldn't add 30 layers of keyboard koto samples with the studio they have now.


Also, autothrall apparently has extremely shitty taste when it comes to Darkthone.
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4507
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 8:32 am 
 

colin040 wrote:
tomcat_ha wrote:
you just dont get john sunlight


I don't think anyone does. :p


im pretty sure i do

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 4768
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:25 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
You're literally the only person on this website who didn't know Wintersun were putting out a new album.

I stopped following the thread because I figured the updates were about Jari appearing in Finnish infomercials about vodka and saunas in order to fund his next venture.
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TrooperEd wrote:
"Mainstream" doesn't count unless its American

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 263
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:20 am 
 

Great See You In Hell review, Chairthrower! Love the enthusiasm, always happy to see a fellow Grim Reaper fanatic :lol: I don't know if I could rate their debut 100% though, there's some pretty abysmal drumming in that album...

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 924
Location: Frozen dead land where sharp winds blow
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:28 am 
 

I originally posted this in the wrong thread. Re-posting:

I don't usually call people out for their opinions but I find darkeningday's review of Within Temptation's The Heart of Everything pretty terrible:

"Unlike the recent few Samael albums, this pop actually works. It’s catchy and fun, and there can be no denial of its pleasing, aesthetic properties. However, is there anything beyond that; any sort of artistic, redeeming qualities at work here behind all the bubble-gum-nod-your-head-while-taking-a-bath values? No. Not a one. Clearly the audio engineering team is fantastic, and the production is bang-up perfect—but that’s not the point."



It works, it's fantastic but that's not the point. Final rating - 3%. Unless there's some sort of irony that I can't detect then this album gets bashed just for being "pop" and not even "shitty pop".

Link to the full review.
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:08 am 
 

I have never listened to a single note of Within Temptation, but that's basically a Noktorn review, so yeah, it's pretty shit. Then again, I find most of DD's opinions on stuff to be kind of irritating, so I'm rather biased myself.
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I love that the reviews for the new Dying Fetus get abbreviated on the front page of MA as "Wrong One to Fuck..." Sounds like a remorseful concept album dealing with John Gallagher's experiences with STIs.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 25703
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:58 am 
 

That review mostly just seems like a long-winded way to say 'I think pop music like this is automatically worthless.' Well written enough, but eh, definitely a product of its time (10 years ago now, when most of us were probably under similar mindsets).
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Twisted_Psychology
Veteran

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 3680
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:43 pm 
 

Great, now I want pizza. Thanks a lot, Jophelerx.
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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 1228
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:45 pm 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
Great, now I want pizza. Thanks a lot, Jophelerx.

:-D
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RoyCaesar wrote:
all music sounds pretty much the same, if it didn't, we wouldn't like it

macmoney wrote:
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4507
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 3:53 am 
 

pop still sux

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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 757
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 6:33 pm 
 

zeingard wrote:
If it's any consolation the overall response I have garnered from the internet has been less than warm.


Critically, I'd say you're definitely right there. in reviews and whatnot it gets trashed, but go to any youtube video of the band and the comments on it are something else. I know that probably isn't the best sample pool, but the sheer amount of comments and the sheer hyperbolic praise they get are unlike any other band I've seen. The one video for the "Winter" song had all these people commenting that they cried and shit. It's a fucking mediocre meloblack song with some longwinded keyboard sections, like jesus christ.
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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6629
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:16 pm 
 

Yeah I dunno, apparently a lot of people say they cry to Anathema too. And to every Warning song, etc. Yeah people who say they cry to thoroughly mediocre shit.. jeez I don't know they function in life. They're probably tearing up when a funeral insurance ad comes on TV.

As a man it is acceptable to cry in the middle of war, if you get hit in the nuts REALLY HARD or if an immediate family member dies. The end.
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4507
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:21 am 
 

why give a shit when somebody cries

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7696
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:56 am 
 

tomcat_ha wrote:
why give a shit when somebody cries

Oh come on. Real men aren't supposed to be able to experience the whole emotional spectrum. Obviously.
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7474
Location: The Land Down Under (no, not THAT one)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 4:40 pm 
 

Okay, this: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... bbo/369674

How was such a review even accepted? It doesn't even provide any proper description, except for mentioning that the album is weird (you don't fucking say?). This looks like something that was written back in 2005.
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MutantClannfear wrote:
I love that the reviews for the new Dying Fetus get abbreviated on the front page of MA as "Wrong One to Fuck..." Sounds like a remorseful concept album dealing with John Gallagher's experiences with STIs.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6629
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:28 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
tomcat_ha wrote:
why give a shit when somebody cries

Oh come on. Real men aren't supposed to be able to experience the whole emotional spectrum. Obviously.


Have a cry dudes. hahahaha

Honestly, I think most people here know I'm not some alpha male or whatever. But I do find it fairly amusing as yeah, youtube is full of people apparently crying to shit all the time. I'd bet you can bring up any song in a minor key and there'd be 200 people on the youtube comments saying they bawl their eyes out every time it's on. If that doesn't strike you as a bit lame, u're part of the problem
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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 1228
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:23 pm 
 

Music certainly evokes more emotion in me than books/TV/movies. I get teary-eyed while listening to certain songs semi-regularly, whereas the only time I've teared up at a book/TV/movie was when House ended. I mean, if someone actually cries over stuff regularly, that's fine, but it does seem like a lot of the comments are just being really melodramatic. It's hardly the worst offender as far as hyperbole goes, since LOL is not only used when you're not laughing out loud but also when you barely find something even marginally amusing. Lame hyperbole is just what the internet does.
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RoyCaesar wrote:
all music sounds pretty much the same, if it didn't, we wouldn't like it

macmoney wrote:
Isn't there a little mindshadow in all of us? I like to think so.

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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 7696
Location: Lifeless shadows
PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:06 am 
 

caspian wrote:
Have a cry dudes. hahahaha

Honestly, I think most people here know I'm not some alpha male or whatever. But I do find it fairly amusing as yeah, youtube is full of people apparently crying to shit all the time. I'd bet you can bring up any song in a minor key and there'd be 200 people on the youtube comments saying they bawl their eyes out every time it's on. If that doesn't strike you as a bit lame, u're part of the problem

Well, I'm sure it's a very real problem for you, but I've never seen that & don't know what you're talking about. :)
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Xlxlx
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 7474
Location: The Land Down Under (no, not THAT one)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 12:09 pm 
 

Reading enough YouTube comments would erode any man's sanity, so yeah, can't really blame him.
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MutantClannfear wrote:
I love that the reviews for the new Dying Fetus get abbreviated on the front page of MA as "Wrong One to Fuck..." Sounds like a remorseful concept album dealing with John Gallagher's experiences with STIs.

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RapeTheDead
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 757
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 1:17 pm 
 

Crying to evocative music is fine...but not when it's Wintersun.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 66
Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 2:36 pm 
 

RapeTheDead wrote:
Crying to evocative music is fine...but not when it's Wintersun.

so you're implying that Wintersun is evocative?
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zeingard wrote:
Man, not everyone is jerking off to collages of Morpheus Descends, Timeghoul and Demilich in their basement.

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SweetLeaf95
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 187
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:41 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... WER/374625

This review of Born Again has a mistake I couldn't help but notice. Twice, it talks about the song "Trashed" and both times called it "Thrashed"... should probably be pointed out and fixed.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3793
Location: Fml States of America
PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 11:34 pm 
 

caspian wrote:
As a man it is acceptable to cry in the middle of war, if you get hit in the nuts REALLY HARD or if an immediate family member dies. The end.

Or at the climax of The Iron Giant; or when the cat and dog are just too cute for words and you never want them to die, but you know they will and you never want that to happen, but you know it will and no matter how many days you spend with them, you know you'll be bawling like hell because you want another one; or when the person you love more than anyone else is just too cute for words and you never want them to die, but you know they will and you never want that to happen, but you know it will and no matter how many days you spend with them, you know you'll be bawling like hell because you want one more and can't have it; or when you're so fucking tired you don't know what to do with yourself and then you hurt yourself really bad by accident; or when you're depressed and crying for no reason whatsoever.


tomcat_ha wrote:
why give a shit when somebody cries

That's a totally different question, really.
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 7704
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 6:55 pm 
 

How about stubbing your toe, or stepping on a Lego?
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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4357
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:28 pm 
 

Bayern's Crowbar review is pretty ridiculous. He claims that Crowbar aren't sludge (pretty much as objectively false as you can get) and then describes them as having strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus. He later describes them as having a hardcore influence . . . apparently completely unaware that sludge is literally doom + hardcore. Talk about having no idea what you're talking about.
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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Frenchman

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11675
Location: In the Rectory
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:31 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Bayern's Crowbar review is pretty ridiculous. He claims that Crowbar aren't sludge (pretty much as objectively false as you can get) and then describes them as having strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus. He later describes them as having a hardcore influence . . . apparently completely unaware that sludge is literally doom + hardcore. Talk about having no idea what you're talking about.

Quote:
music-wise they’re by-and-large a doom metal act, occupying the golden middle between the traditional doom metal reverberations of Saint Vitus and Pentagram, and the more officiant epic landscapes of Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus.

WTF. Bayern needs a new pair of ears.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 1427
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 9:37 pm 
 

Luvers666 wrote:
I have had a review pending for 13 days now. Any chance of an update?


Be patient. There are folks in the queue who have had reviews for three times as long.
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bayern
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:11 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 8:12 am 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Bayern's Crowbar review is pretty ridiculous. He claims that Crowbar aren't sludge (pretty much as objectively false as you can get) and then describes them as having strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus. He later describes them as having a hardcore influence . . . apparently completely unaware that sludge is literally doom + hardcore. Talk about having no idea what you're talking about.



I did it deliberately, in response to this guy who claims that Crowbar have nothing to do with doom; I tried to be as vociferous and vehement as possible. I understand that I have to tone it down, and put it in more objective terms. Sorry to hurt you feelings...

And, I'm very well aware what sludge is; even my 8-old daughter knows that. About these "strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus", I'm sorry but I don't remember to have written that thus severely insulting my and other metalheads' intelligence. Maybe you've read it elsewhere?

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dystopia4
Thumbman

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 4357
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:03 pm 
 

Alright, well now it seems you have edited your review to make it clear that Crowbar are sludge, which is obviously correct. Seems pretty weird you would go to all those lengths to prove Crowbar is doom-related (the most obvious thing in the world) because some guy said it wasn't and then not explain this to the reader. You did not hurt my feelings obviously, it's just the way you originally wrote it made it seem like you had no idea what you were talking about, and I still think the Candlemass/Solitude Aeturnus comparisons are incredibly off the mark. Even the American doom comparisons are marginally relevant at best, Crowbar's biggest influence has always been more traditional metal and classic rock, while obviously mixing Sabbath type shit with hardcore.
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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
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Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 7:37 pm 
 

crowbar is the only sludge band i've heard with clear trad metal elements but still sound nowhere near candlemass or something.

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