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Jophelerx
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:22 pm
Posts: 1238
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:01 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Skyklad/96

Extremely bare bones review, most of the musical description simply consists of a Queensryche comparison. Also some grammatical errors.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8108
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:51 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rone/16182

Not awful, but just unneeded when there are so many other reviews.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5528
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:22 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... per/31392/

Very, very brief.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5040
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:03 pm 
 

Pretty bad track by track review that's really brief.

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ain/131672
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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2509
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:24 am 
 

Three extraordinarily bad track-by-track reviews:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ine/22949/
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Lost/4088/
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... orms/4090/
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5528
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:14 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... er666/2613

Doesn't really say a lot.

EDIT: all the reviews of this guy are a bit on the brief side.

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... nd99/19876
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... nd99/19876
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... nd99/19876

EDIT: Found one more: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 004/79860/

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Metal_On_The_Ascendant
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 6:38 am
Posts: 344
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:47 am 
 

I understand this was written nearly ten years ago but this is the first time I am coming across it and it was a horrible read. Whiny and absurd and condescending to whoever is looking for a fair and intelligent assessment of the album.

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Boss/97146

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:50 am 
 

Disagreeing with someone's opinion, however hyperbolic it may be, is not grounds for rejection on its own.
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nuclearskull wrote:
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Last.fm

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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 8815
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:59 am 
 

Well, all the "faggy" and "gay" shit might warrant a reevaluation regardless of the opinion.

Though I do want to say that I read as far as him namedropping Morbid Saint and immediately said "This was written in 2008 wasn't it?" out loud, and sure enough it was. MA idiosyncrasies are a funny thing.
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raumr
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:11 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:15 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... riot/16199

Absolute trash. He says people who like this have Down Syndrome.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:22 pm 
 

So...?
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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raumr
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:11 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:43 pm 
 

What do you mean? I'm posting this in the thread about reviews that begs the question of why it was accepted, so obviously I am curious why this was accepted. It beneath a YouTube comment.

It's nothing but vague descriptions of the music and creative ways to say how shitty he finds it, nothing that would warrant a 0%. The only thing he critisizes is the repetetive nature of the songs and the melodies that he doesn't like. But that is what Windir is about. He says "I gave up all faith in humanity after the first twenty seconds of this idiocy". 20 seconds wouldn't put him past the intro, which is folk music, not repetetive black metal. He is probably writing from memory of listening to it once a year ago or something.

Imagine if I wrote a review about a Sunn O))) album where I gave it 0% and the only thing I complained about was that it was too slow.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:13 pm 
 

Well, it wasn't "moderated" per se, since he is a scribe and has his submissions auto-approved, but it sufficiently describes the music.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Necrodictator
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:33 pm
Posts: 11
Location: Zimbabwe
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:34 am 
 

I believe this review violates the site's rules since it's pretty much consists of bashing the grindcore genre:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tch/154734

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:50 am 
 

No it doesn't.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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raumr
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:11 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:13 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... riot/16199

Be honest, would you be able to deduce how the music sounded from these descriptions? It's 100% filth, nothing but insults and vague non-specific complaints. This miserable and spiteful cunt is doing nothing but spew verbal excrement, and make Holocaust jokes and insult people who like this as mentally deficient.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5119
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:57 am 
 

Dealt with.
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Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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WR95
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 35
Location: Paraguay
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 3:16 pm 
 

I just made a huge discovery, these two reviews are track-by-track. Insubstantial, long and boring... like my reviews. Do a favor and delete thoses please :P

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147

This one is a disaster. Not because I do not agree with him, but because he abuses the capital letter and details the minutes and seconds of the songs.
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... smium/4654

This one has the same score however it is well written
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... riced/5966

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MDL
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Posts: 338
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:53 pm 
 

This shouldn't exist:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... lator/5156

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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2509
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 4:44 pm 
 

hells_unicorn wrote:


Not trying to flood the thread or push the issue if these are still considered passable, just wanted to get clarification as to if these still pass the threshold of acceptability or not.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 5:27 pm 
 

Because I overlooked the post.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 2509
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 7:32 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Because I overlooked the post.


Understood, kinda wish I'd worded that differently because now I'm feeling a little like a douche. :oh shit:
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Napalm_Satan
Veteran

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3150
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 7:54 pm 
 

This overkill666 review strikes me as being quite lame.
And this one.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5528
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:25 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ark/186180

Reviewer talks more about the band in general than the actual album itself.

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thrashmaniac87
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 577
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:15 pm 
 

He never talks about the album he's reviewing. He just talks about how Cannibal Corpse has run out of ideas.

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... houl/40130
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DemonFeces
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 2:41 am
Posts: 29
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:35 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Sun/20432/

I like the score, but the words...the words are not good.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:09 pm 
 

DemonFeces wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Rwake/Hell_Is_a_Door_to_the_Sun/20432/

I like the score, but the words...the words are not good.


Sorry you feel that way.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1218
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2018 12:26 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... are/56504/

Spoiler: show
I’ve never been big on the whole “symphonic power metal” genre. For me, it was always irritating listening to some castrated individual who sings in a high pitch voice while some incredibly lame orchestra is playing in the background. Whoever, among the many craptastic bands in this genre, Moonlight Agony is quite a standout among its peers. While their music isn’t the most innovative or original in this world, they still manage to pull off some catchy melodies with the keyboard that doesn’t sound too cheesy (a normal characteristic amongst other power metal and symphonic metal bands) and the vocals that don’t aggravate the listener at all. The guy sounds like a mix between Bruce Dickinson and Eric Adams.

What I especially enjoy about the album are the occasional hints of folk metal they add from time to time that give their songs a medieval atmosphere that never bores you no matter what.

I must admit, I am in shock to find such a splendid gem like Moonlight Agony from a genre that I generally overlook. Guess symphonic power metal isn’t so bad after all, maybe there’s some other great stuff like this out there.

He's not into symphonic power metal but doesn't mind this one. In fact, he thinks it's a splendid gem, because the keyboards are catchy, the folk interludes aren't boring, and the vocals aren't irritating. That's all he manages to say.
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PaganiusI
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 378
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:13 pm 
 

WTF is this:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ick/95287/
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5528
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 3:33 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 65/kd/3863

Another brief review from the old days.

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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1218
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:29 pm 
 

A very weak review.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/P ... _Tea/21348

Spoiler: show
On their second release again Paradox can do no harm at all. The only difference is that here Heresy is quite more melodic and thrash oriented than before.

The album starts with a slow aucustic intro on the song Heresy, a nice little thing, but the things to come are far more nicer. Nice might not be the word... try crushing. :)
I should mention the riffs on this album are very, very catchy and well executed. And when Heresy starts, it's that good old "what the fuck" when you hear them! Those riffs! Just too damn powerful, I can't even count them, they're that numerous and that good! The vocals are excellent, the music blends with them perfectly.
This album reminds me a bit of Laaz Rockit, but only in style, otherwise it's rarely original speed\thrash metal.

The highlights are hard to find, since every song is a above average song.
Probably Kiltime and Crusaders Revenge since they rock real hard. But everything is a winner here. definitely a worthy album.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 575
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 9:25 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... nary/43515 Probably accepted on older standards. Really doesn't say much.
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BastardHead
Magic Mike

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 8815
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 12:00 pm 
 

Ehhhhhh it's not good but I'm willing to let it sit as a three pointer since it still describes the music well enough I suppose. I do know what it sounds like based off that.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 575
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 12:50 pm 
 

Fair enough. Figured it was worth mentioning.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5528
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 1:49 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Skyklad/96

An old one that's not saying much...

EDIT: yet another one... https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... eBee/12221

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 295
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2018 4:41 pm 
 

Super-clunky track-by-track review with a bevy of spelling and grammar issues.

Quote:
Necroslut-The melody interduces itself imeadetly through DevilPig's bass playing

Quote:
Master likes to write about his own pervertions and warslaughters lyrics are as Black metal lyrics are the most, only better.

what

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Ontsarguiz
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:33 pm
Posts: 25
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 11:08 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Funk/66850
An inane attempt to write a review that ends up saying more about everything else than about the actual album.
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Alvater wrote:
That's exacly what i mean, i have writte "fuck a baby in the ass" and no body said any commentary about it

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 12:50 pm 
 

That's not that bad.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Ontsarguiz
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:33 pm
Posts: 25
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 4:27 pm 
 

The only things you get from that review is "gnu metal influence" and "at some point a song sounds like Godsmack"
Seems enough to delete it to be completely honest. I don't know how that's accepted.
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Alvater wrote:
That's exacly what i mean, i have writte "fuck a baby in the ass" and no body said any commentary about it

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 4:38 pm 
 

Meh, nuked. Self-referential rambling. 2008 is around the cut-off where we find such examples - usually they are older.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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