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Oven Fodder (AKA Why was this review accepted? Provide LINKS, please)
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=4153
Page 198 of 239

Author:  Empyreal [ Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/W ... lewhooves1

He doesn't even capitalize "I," fuck this review.

Author:  MutantClannfear [ Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

I laughed at "get ready, this will be a long one" followed by three relatively short paragraphs.

Also, saying the album has no riffs is moronic, it's got plenty of tremolo sections that sound closer to Cryptopsy than anything else one could name.

Author:  Subrick [ Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

"It's like a sludge metal album gone terribly fucking wrong."

I get the feeling this guy's never listened to sludge metal before.

Author:  OzzyApu [ Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Subrick wrote:
"It's like a sludge metal album gone terribly fucking wrong."

I get the feeling this guy's never listened to sludge metal before.

I clicked the link to see what review and it's the one the guys are talking about in the Review Discussion thread, too. Wow, it's bad.

Author:  Dembo [ Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Granted I have a much lower than average tolerance for vocalist fetishists who review metal, and granted that this review has remained here for ten years so people may have complained about it before, but I still thought it was an unusually poorly written one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... ckingLucas

The praise for the music pretty much consists of "Not the best, but nevertheless, better than I could do", as if that's gonna tell anyone anything. The rest is mostly spewing anger about the vocals with no real description of them other than "like Mike Patton rapping or some stupid shit like that".

Author:  Lord_Brendan [ Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Dembo wrote:
Granted I have a much lower than average tolerance for vocalist fetishists who review metal, and granted that this review has remained here for ten years so people may have complained about it before, but I still thought it was an unusually poorly written one:

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... ckingLucas

The praise for the music pretty much consists of "Not the best, but nevertheless, better than I could do", as if that's gonna tell anyone anything. The rest is mostly spewing anger about the vocals with no real description of them other than "like Mike Patton rapping or some stupid shit like that".


:bow: Best review ever

Author:  ~Guest 302292 [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... lli_Priest

Doesn't really give an idea of the music at all, doesn't give even one specific example, and he goes into more detail about a DVD that came with it than the album itself.

Author:  theunrelentingattack [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Xenokrist wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Nevermore/Enemies_of_Reality/28945/Metalli_Priest

Doesn't really give an idea of the music at all, doesn't give even one specific example, and he goes into more detail about a DVD that came with it than the album itself.


Gone.

Author:  TheMirroringShadow [ Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Construcdead/Violadead/32392/Plague

This is one of those reviews MA can live without. While he does describe the music, it's in such a thin manner you can basically break through it with just your pinky. Also it's all written in one big paragraph. I checked his other reviews and they're all like this. I honestly feel that these types of Amazon-like reviews should be purged from the site.

Author:  theunrelentingattack [ Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

TheMirroringShadow wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Construcdead/Violadead/32392/Plague

This is one of those reviews MA can live without. While he does describe the music, it's in such a thin manner you can basically break through it with just your pinky. Also it's all written in one big paragraph. I checked his other reviews and they're all like this. I honestly feel that these types of Amazon-like reviews should be purged from the site.


yeah, that wasn't good. I've gotten rid of it.

Author:  oneyoudontknow [ Mon Mar 31, 2014 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

he has written on his own release:
http://www.metal-archives.com/users/Bla ... CultRecord
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/X ... 09/239750/

has been banned for something else at some point it seems.

Author:  NoKnownName [ Mon Mar 31, 2014 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 2501/Snxke

Zero description, aside from simply saying it's techno.

Author:  MonumentalBlackArt [ Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

"Sacrifice on it's own..."

:puke:

Author:  Subrick [ Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

How the hell did that get approved? Better yet, who the hell approved it?!?

Author:  hakarl [ Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Subrick wrote:
How the hell did that get approved? Better yet, who the hell approved it?!?

It was in 2002!?!?! The standards were different then!?!

Author:  Subrick [ Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

That's horrible even for 2002 though. That review legit would have been horrible for any period of time you put it in.

Author:  Obscurum [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Devoid of description:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... idPreacher

Author:  iamntbatman [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Agreed. Gone.

Author:  Obscurum [ Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Here, have another one. All we get out of it is that the album has a "somewhat heavier and bluesier feel than usual [...]".

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... 319/Sinner

Author:  PhilosophicalFrog [ Sun Apr 13, 2014 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... odIronBeer

Don't know if it's really worth deleting, but I figured I'd bring it up. Doesn't really talk about anything other than "it lacks passion and shakes my belief in metal" - seems like a completely unfair 1% score to an otherwise liked album....but who knows.

Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Apr 13, 2014 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

I'd give it 3 points if he submit it today, but it's worth noting that BIB recently had a fit when he had a bunch of new reviews rejected. He didn't really adapt with the times and some of his old stuff is probably nukeworthy, but rummaging through an old respected reviewer's back catalog to just find old rejectable stuff really isn't even in our top 10 for site priorities.

Author:  PhilosophicalFrog [ Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Fair enough, was just listening to said album today and thought to look it up.

Author:  Obscurum [ Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Lacking enough description?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... hrasher666

Author:  cweed [ Thu May 01, 2014 9:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

OK, sorry if this has been brought up before, but this dude's review of Nachtmystium's "Assassins: Black Meddle Pt. 1".
(http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... 3/BassLord)

I don't know if he's trolling/fucking around or what, but it seems like he COMPLETELY missed the incredibly obvious point of this album, which is that it's a nod/tribute to Pink Floyd and their heavy inspiration to the album. I don't know if anyone agrees with me or not, but it's a bit like giving a 50% to Children of Bodom's "Something Wild" album and saying something like: "yeah, this album's pretty good, but I'm surprised that everyone likes it since they clearly rip off Mozart on "Red Light in My Eyes, Pt. 2". Thievery has no place in metal. Nice try, guys."

Anyway, that's why I feel like this review should at least be edited (and hopefully someone explain to this dude what's up) or nuked...I don't know how mods do things, but I feel like it compromises the integrity of this site with reviews like this. We're smarter than this!!

Author:  Smoking_Gnu [ Thu May 01, 2014 9:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

There's missing the point of the album, then there's understanding the point and still not feeling it's done well. Specifically, I think this statement in his review shows he understands the difference between tribute and rip-off as it pertains to his argument.
Quote:
It's one thing to feel an artists influence, but it's quite another to play their songs, give them different titles, and release them as your own.


I think the album in question has some decent songs, but there are parts where it's pretty obvious Nachtmystium just said "hey, let's crank up the resonance and rapidly open and close the cutoff on a Moog, that sure sounds 'psychadelic,'" so I totally get where he's coming from. Enslaved pulled off this stylistic blend quite a bit better.

Author:  cweed [ Thu May 01, 2014 10:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Hmmm OK maybe you're right...however, I still feel like that's why Nachtmystium called the album "Black Meddle" AND even paid blatant tribute with "One of These Nights", a pretty obvious black metal nod to Pink Floyd's "One of these Days" off of "Meddle". Even the lyrics almost mirror each other.
Ah well, I see where you're coming from (and the reviewer too), I think if anything he could have been a bit more clear if he gets what I'm saying.
Anyone else's input is obviously welcome too!!

Author:  Acrobat [ Sat May 03, 2014 10:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... t/2965/KRS - Fuckin' terrible review!

Author:  Deathly_Gloom [ Tue May 06, 2014 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Hahahhahahahahaha, this dude reviewed his own DVD he played on XD. No wonder it is a pretty good score

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/X ... CultRecord

Author:  AddWittyUsername [ Wed May 07, 2014 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

The same fuckwit (who has been Dursted some time ago, it seems) as mentioned above by Deathly_Gloom also produced this "gem".
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... nchor93166

Not necessarily the worst review ever, but still... If you're not in the mood for sarcastic comments, go read the review through the link above. The one in the spoilerbox has a lot of sarcastic comments by yours truly. Emphasis mine. Italics are my own comments, not part of the review.

Spoiler: show
"First off, let me say that listening to Draugluin is like walking through the most brutal frozen tundra out there. Don't get me wrong either, I mean that in the best way possible. (If you need to explain your simile, it fails.) Thyrronas is a true visionary in my eyes, an artist of music. When you pop in this discography
("discography: dɪˈskɒgrəfi/
noun
a descriptive catalogue of musical recordings, particularly those of a particular performer or composer." So... how do you pop in a catalogue, exactly?
), it really just takes your breathe (breath, you mean) away. The atmosphere makes your mind go into a coma flourishing with wolves and the arctic tundra.
(Failed metaphor. Perhaps "go on a journey flourishing with [...]" would have worked.)
The rawness and ambiance of the discography is just mind boggling(mindboggling or mind-boggling, depending on which variation of English one uses.).
Not to mention Draugluin is a one man band! I have endless respect for people, who can actually start a band on their own, play all the required instruments, make a discography, and actually have made quality music that will blow your mind.
(Starting with "not to mention" and then mentioning it is one thing. Starting with "not to mention" and then rambling on about it for a long, run-on sentence is something else.)

I want to elaborate on the atmosphere of Thyrronas's music. (Again?) It literally makes you feel like you're in a battle, a battle taking place on the frozen tundra of Siberia or something. (You are the pinnacle of creativity, aren't you, with your endless comparisons to frozen/arctic tundras?)
Yes, make no mistake about it, the ambiance of this music is simply amazing. (I would never have guessed...)
It is possibly the most raw, ambient music out there in the underground. This discography is truly a gem, more people need to know the extent of how good this cd is. (It would help if you described more than just "arctic tundra! frozen tundra! arctic tundra!")
If I had to compare a band to Draugluin (which I don't like to do, Thyrronas's music is just too damn unique) (UNIIIIIQUE! Kvlt! UNIIIQUE! -cough-), then I would compare Thyrronas to the likes of...Burzum, possibly (old) mayhem (Capitalization, please?), and lastly (old) Bathory. But forget comparing, Draugluin is really too unique to be compared."

Great. So far, all I know of this music is that its atmosphere makes you feel like you're on a brutal frozen tundra, no, an arctic tundra flourishing with wolves (while in a coma), no, a battle on the frozen tundra of Siberia, or something, that one man plays all the required instruments. Oh, and that it can be compared to Burzum, possibly to old Mayhem and to old Bathory. Except not. 'cause it's UNIIIIIQUE!
Oh, but wait. We're going to start talking about the music in the last one-third of the review!


Now, I would like to talk about the music.
(Misplaced comma. This way, it means that you would like to talk about the music, but can't/won't. Wait, never mind, that's remarkably correct.)
The music has great guitar riffs (in what way?) that are very unique and original (Draungluin is UNIIIIQUE!), unlike a lot of black metal, today. (Unnecessary comma, unless you mean that the guitar riffs of Draungluin are only unique today as opposed to a lot of black metal not being unique these days.) Their (There) are parts where the vocals remind me of "Von" and/or "Vrolok" and are executed well.
(Missing commas, unless you mean that only those parts are executed well? Besides, didn't you just say that this was too UNIIIIQUE to compare to other music?)
The songs are all very different (UNIIIIIQUE!), some are heathen ambient noise, and others are straight grim black metal. The drums are programmed and are not nothing special, but are done well.
(Nothing special and done well. -scratches head- Oh, by the way, didn't you say above that this one man played every necessary instrument himself? Maybe you meant "except the drums, which he programmed aaaaaaaall by himself"?)

So, in conclusion, this greek (Greek) one man band brings forth 8 (spelling out numbers below ten surely is not that hard?) selected masterpieces from the previous releases , gathered in an album with a mythical title "Gloemscrafu" .
(What are those spaces doing before the comma and period?)
this (This) discography is a soulside journey to the ancient world of black metal , dark ambient heathen noise.
(Why is there a space before the comma?)
I Highly (What is that capital-H doing there?) recommend this cd to all true black metal collectors." (Don't you mean trve, kvlt, UNIIIIQUE black metal collectors?)

Author:  lord_ghengis [ Sat May 24, 2014 7:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Pls stop.

Author:  Grave_Wyrm [ Thu May 29, 2014 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

^ +1. ouch. That spoiler tag is not for the hungover.

Author:  MutantClannfear [ Thu May 29, 2014 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Or those outside of the autism spectrum.

Author:  Subrick [ Fri May 30, 2014 1:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

*person with Aspergers*

Nope, not even we can handle that.

Author:  DivineSpirit33 [ Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... rn/7394/KK

Track by track reviews are okay when done for EPs. Not for full-length albums! Especially when you don't even go into much description. Seriously, look at what he said for one of the songs:

Quote:
"No longer" is simply another great song on the disc.


You can't just pass off one song as "great" and go into no description. Also, is it possible to swear more in a single review? Especially for a Christian album?

Also, could he possibly make Christians look dumber? Seriously, I actually took some offense from this review as a Christian. Look at this:

Quote:
Project 86/Living Sacrifice/Stavesacre was the first concert I ever went to. It was this Christian metal concert out in Lancaster, PA, in some random church in the middle of a fucking field.


Quote:
Well this band kicked my ass like no other has ever done. All I remember is getting the shit knocked out of me a few rows back of my friend who was cleaning house left and right. The entire church erupted into one big melee.


Quote:
"Liar" closes the album with a fucking fury. You won't find any pussy outros or acoustic wankery on this one, just speed metal and lots of it. It makes you think, "Damn, maybe I should consider Christianity".


And also, I've had several reviews rejected due to having too many short paragraphs or lone sentences. This review is loaded with them; more than I've ever used. And his somehow got accepted. I guess the standards were a lot lower ten years ago.

Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Yeah the standards have shifted a lot over the years. Nuked on grounds of being a shitty amazon style track by track, but I'd like to give a minor "lighten up" to DivineSpirit in regards to the review being written like an idiot that happens to share your beliefs. I'm a thrash fan, nobody looks dumber than a thrash fan, it's just part of life.

Author:  DivineSpirit33 [ Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

BastardHead wrote:
Yeah the standards have shifted a lot over the years. Nuked on grounds of being a shitty amazon style track by track, but I'd like to give a minor "lighten up" to DivineSpirit in regards to the review being written like an idiot that happens to share your beliefs. I'm a thrash fan, nobody looks dumber than a thrash fan, it's just part of life.


It's not that he's an idiot who shares my beliefs, he's an idiot who doesn't share my beliefs, and makes people who do so look like idiots.

Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Regardless, it's not a big deal and really not worth deleting over. Granted, I know you brought it up because it was a crappy track by track and that second part was just kinda tacked on, but the point remains, as long as there's no open bigotry/racism or something, that's something we're pretty much never going to touch.

Author:  ~Guest 193166 [ Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

I don't think the content of this review is appropriate to accommodate a full length album.


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... arred_Soul

Author:  Diamhea [ Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Nuked. That was horrendous.

Author:  MonumentalBlackArt [ Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oven Fodder (Provide LINKS, please)

Came across this review today. Seems a little sparse for a review of a full-length.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... tsaakuolet

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