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holyrebels
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:11 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:12 am 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
Just to be clear, it isn't a factual error. Positive.


Would you link your source on this then, please? The impression I've always gotten from this band since I bought their first two albums 14-15 years ago is that they lean Catholic and are not anti-Christian.

I once owned a copy of "The Last Grief" but I don't remember it very well, or whether the musical style change accompanied a philosophical change as well. Thank you.

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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2331
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:04 am 
 

holyrebels wrote:
Nightgaunt wrote:
Just to be clear, it isn't a factual error. Positive.


Would you link your source on this then, please? The impression I've always gotten from this band since I bought their first two albums 14-15 years ago is that they lean Catholic and are not anti-Christian.


I think it's pretty obvious from the lyrics of the debut album that they definitely aren't pro-christian.

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holyrebels
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:11 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:23 am 
 

MacMoney wrote:
holyrebels wrote:
Nightgaunt wrote:
Just to be clear, it isn't a factual error. Positive.


Would you link your source on this then, please? The impression I've always gotten from this band since I bought their first two albums 14-15 years ago is that they lean Catholic and are not anti-Christian.


I think it's pretty obvious from the lyrics of the debut album that they definitely aren't pro-christian.


These lyrics?

Praise your Lord
And place all your trust
He decides who lives or die
Kiss the cross, you'll forget your sins

Or these?

Fly up on the sky
Let the wind carry on your vital remains
Etenity awaits
Beyond the realms of Heaven
In oblivion your soul
On Earth it will fall

Maybe these?

I read the holy Epitath
On your grave stone
Down on my knees, I say a prayer
As the rains falls down on me
Tears of blood begin to flow
Your remains for ever I will mourn
Life awaits beyond the stars
In oblivion on Earth we fall
For peace in Heaven we yearn
Or in flames we all shall burn

Without injecting your own biases and without assuming the band is being sarcastic, please show me where this is an anti-Christian band. I would also suggest listening to the music and hearing the lyrics in context.

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Idrownfish
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:04 pm
Posts: 65
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:11 pm 
 

"Praise your Lord"

Well, this sounds anti-Christian to me.

However...

Life awaits beyond the stars
In oblivion on Earth we fall
For peace in Heaven we yearn
Or in flames we all shall burn

This sounds Christian enough.

Anyway, labeling the band as either anti-Christian or pro-Christian sounds wrong... I see no clear evidence of either...

By the way, isn't this supposed to be a tread dedicated to eliminating sucky reviews? .-.

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blackblood666
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:42 am
Posts: 127
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 3:43 pm 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=39107

Kruel's review of Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice is very annoying. About 15 percent of the review is a description of the music, while the rest is just a the reviewer flipping out and calling the album "Christian music." He actually uses some form of the word Christ or Christian a total of thirty-two times in his review, not counting the title. It gets old pretty quick.
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Naught
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:49 am
Posts: 93
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:11 pm 
 

blackblood666 wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=39107

Kruel's review of Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice is very annoying. About 15 percent of the review is a description of the music, while the rest is just a the reviewer flipping out and calling the album "Christian music." He actually uses some form of the word Christ or Christian a total of thirty-two times in his review, not counting the title. It gets old pretty quick.


Earlier when Kruel's review for Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2004) was originally uploaded onto the Encyclopaedia Metallum, his effort received a hefty amount of harsh criticism, incessant complaints, and a popular sense of loathing. The flak that Kruel faced seemed apparent even before the review was submitted. Kruel might have anticipated this reaction, given that Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice has been gifted with a fair amount of praise, concerning that a majority of the reviews composed for the given effort are overwhelmingly positive. Whether or not if you personally agree with Kruel's opinions, arguments, and assertions does not matter, because to whomever permitted the review to be featured within this database, the review contains a somewhat in-depth and suitable attempt at musical analysis.

For instance, while Kruel does seem to focus his review on the notion that Deathspell Omega composed "Christian music" on that aforementioned full-length album, due to their lyrical sidings and ideological alignments, he does manage to criticize on how Deathspell Omega's tunes sound to the listener.

Kruel's Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2010) review wrote:
However, these prayers are musically speaking better than the actual songs. Not because they are good, of course not. It is because the actual songs are utterly boring crap. The riffs are technical, at least by black metal standards. You can hear that the guitarist is pretty busy picking all those chords and tremolo notes. Add some arpeggios. But the riffs have nothing to grab your attention except for annoyance. They appear to be disjointed even within a single riff, and there seem to be a bit of toying with complex or irregular rhythmic variations, but when it does appear it just annoys the listener, rather than really achieving anything. The hazy guitar tone with little distortion is another problem - it makes the riffs less recognizable and gives the album a frustrating atmosphere.


Furthermore, Kruel supports the previously-quoted statement through a comparison of Deathspell Omega's music with the melodies and riffs that past (and renown) black metal bands composed, such as Abigor (as Kruel briefly mentions).

Kruel's Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2010) review wrote:
Either there is not much of a complexity to begin with, or it is done so subtly that it is basically unrecognizable - both amount to the same thing: boringness. And even if we assume that this is a very complex work, it still does not make this a masterpiece of any sort. There were many bands that preceded and did better with complex compositions. Abigor is a prime example of this. That band actually achieved something by interesting contrast of two guitars and incorporating a variety of very progressive song structures. Lunar Aurora is another great example. Deathspell Omega does nothing interesting. The riffs are technical but technicality does not make for good music.


Throughout the review in-question, Kruel does revert back to his argument against the lyrical content that Deathspell Omega employs throughout the album, however, he also illustrates how the music that Deathspell Omega constructed sounds through comparing and contrasting the former's efforts to those of differing, yet stylistically similar (i.e. inventing music that falls within the black metal sub-genre) outfits. If you re-read through Kruel's review you will recognize a few paragraphs that exclusively analyze and critique the music, rather than criticizing the lyrical content that the band employs.

If there are any statements that I brought up which require clarification and/or explanation, please bring those said arguments to my attention, and I will offer a suitable, reasonable explanation. Despite your concern with Kruel's obsessive attack on the content of the ideas, influences, motivations, etc. that Deathspell Omega aligns with, I suggest that you carefully read his review again, while imparting a keen awareness towards moments of musical explanation, elaboration, and analysis that Kruel manages to impart to the reader.


Last edited by Naught on Sun Jul 25, 2010 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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MaDTransilvanian
Caravan Beyond Redemption

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:33 pm 
 

I just went through a couple of mentalendoscopy's reviews and they're pretty shitty, if not outright worthy of elimination.

I guess it's mostly the Engrish of words like his misspelling of "apparantly" or definitely (he writes it d-e-f-i-n-a-t-l-y) (damn this auto-correct crap) in This review. There's also tons of "it's" used as possessives.


Also, from This review...

mentalendoscopy wrote:
but be warey when purchasing this album because in the long run it's not terribly enjoyable
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Last edited by MaDTransilvanian on Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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blackblood666
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:42 am
Posts: 127
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:37 pm 
 

Naught wrote:
blackblood666 wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=39107

Kruel's review of Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice is very annoying. About 15 percent of the review is a description of the music, while the rest is just a the reviewer flipping out and calling the album "Christian music." He actually uses some form of the word Christ or Christian a total of thirty-two times in his review, not counting the title. It gets old pretty quick.


Earlier when Kruel's review for Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2004) was originally uploaded onto the Encyclopaedia Metallum, his effort received a hefty amount of harsh criticism, incessant complaints, and a popular sense of loathing. The flak that Kruel faced seemed apparent even before the review was submitted. Kruel might have anticipated this reaction, given that Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice has been gifted with a fair amount of praise, concerning that a majority of the reviews composed for the given effort are overwhelmingly positive. Whether or not if you personally agree with Kruel's opinions, arguments, and assertions does not matter, because to whomever permitted the review to be featured within this database, the review contains a somewhat in-depth and suitable attempt at musical analysis.

For instance, while Kruel does seem to focus his review on the notion that Deathspell Omega composed "Christian music" on that aforementioned full-length album, due to their lyrical sidings and ideological alignments, he does manage to criticize on how Deathspell Omega's tunes sound to the listener.

Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2010) wrote:
However, these prayers are musically speaking better than the actual songs. Not because they are good, of course not. It is because the actual songs are utterly boring crap. The riffs are technical, at least by black metal standards. You can hear that the guitarist is pretty busy picking all those chords and tremolo notes. Add some arpeggios. But the riffs have nothing to grab your attention except for annoyance. They appear to be disjointed even within a single riff, and there seem to be a bit of toying with complex or irregular rhythmic variations, but when it does appear it just annoys the listener, rather than really achieving anything. The hazy guitar tone with little distortion is another problem - it makes the riffs less recognizable and gives the album a frustrating atmosphere.


Furthermore, Kruel supports the previously-quoted statement through a comparison of Deathspell Omega's music with the melodies and riffs that past (and renown) black metal bands composed, such as Abigor (as Kruel briefly mentions).

Deathspell Omega's Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice (2010) wrote:
Either there is not much of a complexity to begin with, or it is done so subtly that it is basically unrecognizable - both amount to the same thing: boringness. And even if we assume that this is a very complex work, it still does not make this a masterpiece of any sort. There were many bands that preceded and did better with complex compositions. Abigor is a prime example of this. That band actually achieved something by interesting contrast of two guitars and incorporating a variety of very progressive song structures. Lunar Aurora is another great example. Deathspell Omega does nothing interesting. The riffs are technical but technicality does not make for good music.


Throughout the review in-question, Kruel does revert back to his argument against the lyrical content that Deathspell Omega employs throughout the album, however, he also illustrates how the music that Deathspell Omega constructed sounds through comparing and contrasting the former's efforts to those of differing, yet stylistically similar (i.e. inventing music that falls within the black metal sub-genre) outfits. If you re-read through Kruel's review you will recognize a few paragraphs that exclusively analyze and critique the music, rather than criticizing the lyrical content that the band employs.

If there are any statements that I brought up which require clarification and/or explanation, please bring those said arguments to my attention, and I will offer a suitable, reasonable explanation. Despite your concern with Kruel's obsessive attack on the content of the ideas, influences, motivations, etc. that Deathspell Omega aligns with, I suggest that you carefully read his review again, while imparting a keen awareness towards moments of musical explanation, elaboration, and analysis that Kruel manages to impart to the reader.


I stand corrected and thank your for clarifying. I still think he needs a bit of self-editing though.
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:24 pm 
 

holyrebels wrote:
Nightgaunt wrote:
Just to be clear, it isn't a factual error. Positive.


Would you link your source on this then, please? The impression I've always gotten from this band since I bought their first two albums 14-15 years ago is that they lean Catholic and are not anti-Christian.

I once owned a copy of "The Last Grief" but I don't remember it very well, or whether the musical style change accompanied a philosophical change as well. Thank you.


Keeping in mind that this is doom metal, and that Galvez's preferred lyrical lenses are mourning and loss, I'd say that the lyrics you keep posting make it rather clear, I should think. But since you seem determined to insist that I and others are just reading things into it that aren't there, I'll restate what I said before, that you seem to have chosen to ignore: Galvez has played in Pagan Rites ("Die Priest Die", "Sodomy in Heaven", "Satanic Sadist", "Under the Church", "Flames of the Third Antichrist", etc. etc. etc.), prior to which he had other history with his pal Thomas Karlsson (most famously known as 'Devil Lee Rot'), who appeared on Galvez's old Helotry demo (early/mid 90s) under the handle 'Unholy Pope.' Some of the other musicians that Galvez has had perform in Tristitia--mainly Juvonen and Hedlund--are from similarly inclined bands. Other contextual clues to the same effect are all over the place.... for example, the guy who played the cello on The Last Grief was called "Angelripper", and on that same record Galvez thanks the "true evil metal blasphemers" and the like (actually a bunch of guys from some pub somewhere, I gather).

I say again (though you should by all rights already know this), in doom metal, Christian imagery and symbolism are commonplace with bands possessed of all manner of different sentiments towards the subject, ranging from those who are good, wholesome Christians themselves (or as good and wholesome as a metaller can be) to those who are rabidly Christ-hating. There are more types of anti-Christian or un-Christian sentiment than just the explicitly occult, demonic, or even just militantly atheist. I believe that what you seem so sure is worshipful praise of the Hereafter with the Lord of Hosts is mainly just an expressed longing for oblivion beyond life and existence.
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mentalendoscopy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:22 pm
Posts: 231
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:33 pm 
 

Dying_Funeral's review of Despised Icon's "The Ills of Modern Man" is total shit.
Quote:
I absolutely hate deathcore, there are very few deathcore bands I can even tolerate. Despised Icon happens to be one of them that I enjoy. They aren't your typical generic deathcore band. They bring intriguing lyrics, great riffs and breakdowns that actually bring something to the music.

The lyrics on the album are not your usual "wigger" lyrics that are invading the metal scene fast. These lyrics are poetic and beautiful. Just read them yourself. I won't talk about them any longer because you can just read them yourself. The guitar work on the album is fast and aggressive. The guitarists throw huge powerful riffs at you and put a lot of emphasis on the riff being played. When they come to a breakdown it's a pretty good chug chug breakdown. Nothing special but it's special enough that I can actually listen to it and be like "wow that was pretty cool". Not many bands can pull that off without sounding dull and boring. The guitarists also can play some wicked solos. They are fast and mournfully played with precision. The drumming is fast and pummeling and hits the mark every time. Keeping up with the music and never lagging back or jumping the gun so to speak. One thing that is really well done on the album is the vocals. Despised Icon has two singers, one who shouts and one who growls. They both fit together perfectly and get the point across well. Also there are some pig squeals on this album, and they are the best pig squeals I've ever heard. They are the ONLY pig squeals I can actually listen to.

Overall this album is a really good death metal album; it strays away from deathcore and is Despised Icons best album. Get this album if you have the chance.


This guy uses no real musical description other than listing a few things deathcore usually features and assuring us how great they sound on here, as opposed to any other deathcore album.

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holyrebels
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:11 pm
Posts: 1314
PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:38 pm 
 

Nightgaunt wrote:
Just to be clear, it isn't a factual error. Positive.


You win this time, Nightgaunt. Thanks for the extra background.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:01 am 
 

Well, like I said before, on this specific subject, doom metal can be weird in a way that most other metal genres generally aren't.
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KerberosOfHades
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:42 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=276#3593

Review by Metalli_Priest. Minimal description, only one paragraph plus a comparison to Korn. And the whole 'crap' thing is really annoying and extremely lame, it makes the review painful to read.
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droneriot
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:50 pm 
 

Most reviews for that album are pretty poor, especially on the bottom half of the page.
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RapeTheDead
Stoned Jesus

Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:48 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:26 pm 
 

Benign_Hypocrite's review of Sweet Vengeance
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=19377#2844

The review is a pain in the ass to read, follows the track-by-track format, has very poor English, and it doesn't say anything that differs from the other 10-or-so reviews there in the first place, so it's not like it's the only one of its kind.

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Darkes7_
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:09 pm
Posts: 53
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:43 pm 
 

Review by wEEman33
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=4001

Found it by accident when checking the new review... almost no musical description, and what there is that can be called musical description on a really good day is basically complaining that the album is full of wankery (plus the pathetic talking about semen all the time). And the final nail to the coffin is... actually, the review is supposed to be for the second album, Emergent. :lol:


Last edited by Darkes7_ on Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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droneriot
cisgender

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:46 pm 
 

There's a more direct reference than the mention of that song:

wEEman33 wrote:
the only thing separating Emergent from your typical Dave Matthews Band release is
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Darkes7_
Metal newbie

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:46 pm 
 

Yeah, I just noticed it and fixed the post.

And actually, his review (unfortunately the only one) for Sean Malone's solo album is even worse... basically zero description at all.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=55652

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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:10 am 
 

Feel like I'm becoming a regular nagger:

On Freak Kitchen's Dead Soul Men Kroke's review: http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3957#2636 though the other one by Brat1983 isn't much better.

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 4:50 am 
 

Cleaned from NG's last post down to this point.
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KerberosOfHades
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:56 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 580#147788

Review by oldgreg. Short musical description pretty much limited to "technical, fast, with some guy practising scales". He spends nearly as much time saying how other bands do tech-death better than saying why this sucks.
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Djavul
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:28 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:23 pm 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=11262

The older review of this album is pretty much just a rant about German is a horrible, ugly language. This guy seems to pretty much just hate this album because he hates the German language, which the singer chooses to sing in. Out of the whole review, I count about 4 sentences that he says about the actual music.

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OzzyApu
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:26 pm 
 

:lol: That's Uncle Nappy for you.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:31 pm 
 

Man, the site would be dull if we didn't have reviews like that around. Well, not completely dull. But those reviews help out a lot.
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Djavul
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:28 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:03 pm 
 

So breaking rules 1 & 2 of writing reviews is okay, as long as the review is amusing and/or a well-known user is writing it? Gotcha.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:23 pm 
 

He talks about German in the opening two paragraphs and then spends the rest of the review explaining why the band sucks. It's perfectly legitimate. His criticisms are very clearly outlined right in the review; you are exaggerating a ton.
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hells_unicorn
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:25 pm 
 

Djavul wrote:
So breaking rules 1 & 2 of writing reviews is okay, as long as the review is amusing and/or a well-known user is writing it? Gotcha.


I'd suggest reading those rules again, you obviously don't understand how review approval works here and the nuances involved in what constitutes satisfactory content. What Napero did with his review is adequate in terms of description and is passable based on a large number of reviews that are still up to this site. By today's standards, this would probably get 3 points for the bare bones approach to content that was used next to the somewhat inflated comic element of the album, but it isn't oven fodder.
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droneriot
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 12:19 am 
 

On a sidenote, if you've ever heard Eisregen you'll know that the vocals with the ridiculously exaggerated German are at the forefront of the music, they are the elements of the music that stands out the most, and it is more than legitimate to devote more than one paragraph to them and their hokey faux-"teutonic" pronounciation.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:28 am 
 

After seeing the Megadeth one on the front page, I wanted to see the first one on the album page. It's by UltraBoris (yay) and it isn't very good at all. It's noticably shorter than the other reviews on that page (>10 reviews), but my real concern is that he assumes we know what it sounds like. Boris says nothing about the vocals, drums, or bass, and the only thing he mentions with the guitars is the tempo and he throws the word "riff" around like we know exactly how the songs sound like.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=659#147

Please delete that one.

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~Guest 214846
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:06 am
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:28 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=29400#22116

There really isn't much content displayed at all in Forest_Noire's compared to Durandal1717's review, and to a less extent icabod's review.

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Abominatrix
Harbinger of Metal

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2003 12:15 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 2:12 pm 
 

hells_unicorn wrote:
holyrebels wrote:
hells_unicorn wrote:
@holyrebels - I think you need to read those lyrics with a bit more scrutiny, the first impression that I got from them is that of a negative take on the subject of discussion. To be fair, if you spoke with some fanatical Roman Church people who have a favorable view of the Inquisition, they'd probably talk this way, but most pro-Christian bands don't overtly glorify violence perpetuated by people in their own church, though certain unblack metal bands may get pretty controversial with their anti-pagan and pro-life rhetoric (Frost Like Ashes for example).

The review seems descriptive enough to me, though it tends to read like a solid 3 pointer with basic, bare bones description.


I think the band is serious in their Christian leanings but are also not afraid to take on the darker history of the faith such as the Inquisition. Burning witches and such makes for good metal.

I do not mean to say that the band is preaching ala a full-blown Christian rock band or the "unblack" bands, but the statement that the band is anti-Christian is false.


Truth be told, I'm not terribly familiar with the band, and I might be wrong about the lyrics, that's pretty much how they jumped out at me on first read. If Tailesin was in error on this point, it might be worthwhile to contact him, assuming that he still visits this website. If it is a factual error, it should only be grounds for nuking if it can't be corrected.

P.S. - All this talk about this band is making me want to check them out now.


The first two albums, with Thomas Carlson on vocals, are phenomenal. It's interesting that this debate has come up; I remember a friend bought One with Darkness around 96 or 97 and told me that they were a christian band. After listening to the record myself though and thinking about it, I came down on the side that they were not christian at all. While the lyrics may seem to praise, there's a real sense of menace and wrongness about it all that made me think...that it wasn't sarcasm exactly, but a sort of devil's advocacy (except in reverse if you know what I mean) that highlights the cold and implacable tenets of christianity. In essence, I just think it was a fascinating subject for them to write about and that they're not glorifying, but rather trying to give you the chills...which they were good at.
Haven't listened to the album in a while, nor looked at the lyrics. It's probably time to again.
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Djavul
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:28 pm
Posts: 10
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:06 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
On a sidenote, if you've ever heard Eisregen you'll know that the vocals with the ridiculously exaggerated German are at the forefront of the music, they are the elements of the music that stands out the most, and it is more than legitimate to devote more than one paragraph to them and their hokey faux-"teutonic" pronounciation.


Haha, I suppose so. I guess where I've taken a lot of German it doesn't stand out or bother me as much. Maybe to some people it's worth ranting about for paragraphs.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:36 pm 
 

Got another one by TimFS for Drudkh's Autumn Aurora

OK, so we have 15 reviews for that album and this one can easily be purged. This guy doesn't describe the instruments themselves, and only the middle paragraph will give the casual reader any hint of what the music sounds like. The technical shit he babbles in the third paragraph is useless, and the first paragraph is also a waste of text. In fact, I think the review title tells more than the review itself without going on and on. All over this one is just a mess - delete it and we get 14 reviews that are all better than this short one.

This one by Osgiliath for Agalloch's Ashes... can also go.

This album has over 20 reviews, and this is one of the shorter ones that doesn't actually go in-depth with the music. Instead, he sticks to general terms and genre name-dropping, which can fit a whole bunch of bands. Only people that have heard the previous two albums will clue in on what he is talking about.

...

Now I've saved my favorite for last: Celtic Frost's Cold Lake review by sonofthenortherngod

Now while this is the only (I guess you could call it) positive review for that album, I feel that the reviewer is trying to piece together things without actually coming up with a valid argument. He strings together things instead of tying them together, making his writing look very disorganized.

No mention of the vocals whatsoever, so listeners will have no idea what they're in for - especially since the vocals are the most apparent part of that album. In fact, the review would fit for more of a forum post from a non-active poster on why Cold Lake isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

He keeps having to defend himself and says more than once that he understands that he'll get shit, and then he pulls together really bad negatives that are the lesser half of why the album is indeed a horrible affair. Plus the extra 15% - just because they're Celtic Frost - is a serious low blow.

Man does it hurt reading that.

Edit #3: I'm getting lucky today - Xasthur's The Funeral of Being by the_agnostic.

For 100%, he sure doesn't do a whole lot actually describing the music. After reading it, I understand that the album is black metal that is depressing and atmospheric, but that's about as in-depth as you're going to get with that review. Everything else is him just exclaiming how beautiful this song is and how this other song will "simply blow your mind..."

"And to those who don't like it, fuck off...die!" - how lovely, please get rid of this one.


Last edited by OzzyApu on Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:04 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Ice_As_Steel
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:51 am
Posts: 659
PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:45 pm 
 

Why do two reviews for "Autumn Aurora" have double spacing and one none at all? Drudkh fans..,
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:22 pm 
 

Fuck it, here are some more regarding Xasthur.

Portal of Sorrow by frozencemetery.

Simply put, he doesn't talk about the music. All he does is bitch about how this is a disappointment and that he won't be playing this as much as the other Xasthur albums. Not once does he give us any real hint as to what the album sounds like - we have to know all about the band beforehand. Even if we did hear every other album by Malefic, we still wouldn't know anything about this one; WHAT DOES THIS album sound like?

Defective Epitaph by lord_infernus.

Once more, we are to expect what Xasthur sounds like ahead of time, or else we won't understand everything this reviewer is talking about. What do the vocals sound like? How about the guitars? Bass? The first paragraph let's us in on his Xasthur fanboy love and the last paragraph doesn't say much to even care about. The middle paragraph starts off on the right foot but then goes into talking about the real drums. Not how they sound, of course, but just the fact that they're real; are they cold, hollow, hot, fast, aggressive, slow, what? "blastbeat emerges" is the most you'll read out of the drums. Jesus these reviews are bad.

Whatever this release is by LordLegion (the first review)

As you can see with one look, that review is as bare-bones as an anorexic chick. But once you get to actually read it, it's even sadder than that. Hardly any detail regarding the music - you'll never know what that particular release sounds like based on his review. The formatting is ugly as fuck (hence the terms I used) and it pales compared to the reviews above it.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:04 am 
 

Napero wrote:
Cleaned from NG's last post down to this point.

NG hadn't cleaned anything, Nappy. There were a bunch on the previous page that I had to nuke.

Anyway, I've cleaned everything that Nappy missed since my last post on the previous page, and then everything since his post down to here. mentalendoscopy, if you're reading this, I nuked your Dio review, which had some Engrish problems and was light on the musical description. You used "cheesy" a bunch, but that can mean a lot of things. It's not good description. However, I did keep your In Flames review, which was actually pretty good. You just need to invest in a spellchecker.

Otherwise I deleted everything that was posted except for Kruel's, Napero's, and the one holyrebels and NG were discussing.
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mentalendoscopy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:22 pm
Posts: 231
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:37 am 
 

failsafeman wrote:
mentalendoscopy, if you're reading this, I nuked your Dio review, which had some Engrish problems and was light on the musical description. You used "cheesy" a bunch, but that can mean a lot of things. It's not good description. However, I did keep your In Flames review, which was actually pretty good. You just need to invest in a spellchecker.


Thank you. I always felt as if that was one of my lesser reviews, anyway. I'll probably look to see if there's any more of my reviews that either need to be altered or deleted all together, now that that one's gone.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:49 am 
 

Here's ThaBrutalestGutterol's review for Beherit's H418ov21.c:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3274#191091

ThaBrutalestGutterol wrote:
Enter The House 418 Of The 21st Century - 90%
Written by ThaBrutalestGutterol on June 7th, 2009

Ballsy… damn ballsy of Nuclear Holocausto to steer the flagship Beherit into such uncharted waters (as of 1994) for a black metal musician. With their previous album, “Drawing Down the Moon”, Finnish black metal trailblazers Beherit had already crossed unspoken black metal boundaries by including effect-ladened, Transformersesque vocals. However, by the time “H418ov21.C” was recorded, all in Beherit aside from Holocausto had departed and apparently decided not to leave any semblance of METAL in their wake.

Result: Under the Beherit moniker, Holocausto produces a gem of a dark electronic/ambient album.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking: “Not metal!!! Why am I wasting my ‘too kvlt’ time reading about some pansy-ass electro crap?!”. My response: “Quit being such a closed-minded assbag!”. I like strolling down Blaze in the Northern Sky Boulevard as much as the next guy, but every once in a while you’ve got to take a detour to catch a look at some different (yet equally ghastly) scenery. “H418ov21.C” is about as far away from Beherit’s roots as a pioneering primitive black metal band as you can get (well, maybe Britney Spears is, but you get the point), but the album is no less haunting in atmosphere than their prior work (in fact, I would say it is more so).

This album is cold, minimalist, and downright creepy. Effect-ladened vocals are sparsely dispersed and are usually spoken (although some growled black metal vocals pop up here and there). Repetitive, mind-numbing programmed drumming is featured prominently in some songs and is completely absent from others. Ambient-yet-eerie electronic sounds provide the ominous and sterile atmosphere which dominates the entire album. Sound pretty badass? Damn straight it does, because it is pretty-fucking-badass!

So what sucks about the album? Not much, but one significant detractor from the overall excellence of the album is the occasional occurrence of comically nasal, trying-way-too-hard-to-sound-evil spoken passages. This vocal delivery ruins the first song, which is a new version of an older Beherit song (“The Gate of Inanna”). This unfortunate choice of vocal delivery also occurs briefly in “Paradise (Part II)”, but thankfully does not sully the rest of the album.

“H418ov21.C” is a bold, forward-looking progression from a black metal foundation. Keep in mind that this album was released years before Garm led Ulver in a monumental leap from black metal to electronically-based aural explorations. Open-minded metal fans and those partial to dark experimental music of all varieties, take note of “H418ov21.C”!

9 ominous futuristic murmurings out of 10.

Moderators may keep it around because it is the only positive review the album has and it does not directly violate any rules. However, I personally think it is worthless for two obvious reasions:

1) The fucking annoying "open-minded" soapboxing that occupies like two thirds of the review.
2) The description of the music is limited to the vocals and the fact that some tracks have percussion while others don't. Other than that, there's only this:

Quote:
Ambient-yet-eerie electronic sounds provide the ominous and sterile atmosphere which dominates the entire album.

That could mean pretty much fucking anything. Could be anything from a slowed-down Depeche Mode to Ah Cama-Sotz to Autechre to Enigma to Mortiis to whatever. It doesn't tell me shit about what the album is like, because as I said, "ambient-yet-eerie" could mean a billion different things.
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:37 pm 
 

Deleted.
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KerberosOfHades
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:40 am
Posts: 485
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:16 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1524#141952

The new To Mega Therion review.

Three sentences about the guitar, one about the drums and one about the lyrics, he doesn't even mention the bass or the infamous Hellhammer/Celtic Frost production. The rest is just the reviewer expressing confusion and giving a time-line of metal with satanic lyrics.

Sure, it's the first negative review for the album and it's good to have a variety of view-points, I just think the review is extremely simplistic and has very minimal description.
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