Actually it's flying right over my head. Hints?

Plus how many actual metal bands sing about that stuff. That is one of the most retarded things I have ever read in a review.

elfo19's review of Countdown to Extinction:



Uhh... You can talk about how much Mustaine's vocals suck and I'd never have a problem with it, I'll probably even agree with you... but saying that he's generic? He is just instantly recognizable... wtf, man?



Uhh... once again, you can argue that their music is boring and whatnot... but saying that Dave Mustaine, Marty Friedman, David Ellefson and Nick Menza have no technical skill is sort of... dumb. Let alone that he's telling Megadeth to grow up and sing about sex, drugs and rock 'n roll...

Are the vocals off-putting? Well, Sean Killian’s vocals are an acquired taste. Once you get used to his range, you’ll love his vocal work. It’s like having sex with underage brunette chicks, once you’re into it, you can’t quit it.

Lost Horizon is a Swedish Power Metal band that uses make up (face paint) and all that, they even use stupid and annoying names like Transcendental Magnanimus Erectus Tyrannosaurus Rex or I don’t know what the fuck. That’s even sillier than the face paint.

I recently purchased CD, despite the fact that the material is 10 + years old.

Watch out fucktards, Rob Halford himself is gonna whip that parrot till exhaustion and Waldo would end sounding like Kotipelto which I sincerely at first believed was a parrot too.

From Dasher10's review of Pantera's The Great Southern Trendkill

Pantera knew how much was on the line after almost single handedly saving metal in the early 90s along with Faith No More, Cannibal Corpse, White Zombie, and Rage Against the Machine.

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The day any of these bands 'saved' metal for me is the day I teabag my father. C'mon, RATM?

the drumming takes a note from Meshuggah, resulting in breakdowns that seem to sadistically taunt any such fans would attempt to battle the invisible ninjas during their performance.

There will be those who will claim that tunes like 'Limbs' and 'Fire Above, Ice Below' are some sort of black/folk/"dark" metal masterpieces, but we all know that's not true- Agalloch traffic in a kind of slow burning, completely tame atmospheric rock that brings to mind a an Ulver song covered by Coldplay.

The slower midsection of “Angel of Death” is sort of unveiled, but the slow parts of “Necrophobic” hit like airbags in car accidents.

So the mad Doctor enters his new lab with a purpose in mind - to create the best power metal band that there ever was. He has his heart in the right place, and he has his favorite genre in mind - from the crystalline clear Finnish pop metal sound to the high-flying German variety of power metal - and everything is in place. The lab is rather dark and dank, with the familiar cobwebs adorning the nooks and crannies of the stone walls, and he reminds himself to change the lightbulb, which its previous occupants had apparently not bothered to change. He looks at the few half-empty potion flasks still sitting on the table under the glow of the candle he has carried with him. There is one rather cracked and old flask labeled Helloween, mostly all gone by now, and another labeled Gamma Ray, also almost empty. The flask labeled Edguy has a moderate amount of fluid left in it, albeit not enough for it to flow over the top, and there is, very fortunately for the good Doctor, a large jug of bright, slushy orange liquid with a large piece of scotch tape across it's exterior - labeled DragonForce. In his excitement, the Doctor, clumsy as he is, knocks all of the flasks off the table and sends them plummeting down into the large basin on the floor. A curious poof of smoke floats out, lazily drifting through the damp, weighty air, followed by a strong smell of brimstone and burnt flesh. A small explosion ensues, knocking the Doctor to his rear as a creature arises. The Doctor claps with glee, shouting "It's alive!" and getting to his feet as the beast lumbers towards him. The Doctor's smile fades as he realizes that his monster is imperfect - it walks with a limp, and one of its arms is raised quite a bit higher than the other. A failed experiment, he realizes, does this beast have any reason to exist? What has he created?

If there's one thing I miss Lord Requiem for, it's that his Cellador review pulled the average for that album down to a percentile MUCH more fitting for it. 85%? Please.

I'd review that CD myself, but unfortunately that'd involve actually listening to it.

Thanks. I forget what I was thinking when I wrote that, but I am proud of it haha.

If there's one thing I miss Lord Requiem for, it's that his Cellador review pulled the average for that album down to a percentile MUCH more fitting for it. 85%? Please.

the song "In Rapture By The Fenrir Moon" isn't here due to it's co-authoring by former member "Lord Vlad Luciferian" who ended up prancing around in a fruity vampire costume with Norwegian faggoth rock stars Ancient after being kicked out of GBK.

Anyone else surprised Bark at the Moon received a mere 61% from Hells_Unicorn?

There are really only 2 or 3 moments on the album which are NOT absolutely and amazingly awesome: some of Material World Paranoia starts off a bit silly, but dear Lord does it make up for it or what with that final riff set: "Promise of a better future is a lie!" [insert here probably the best riff on the album - total fucking headbanging material, feel free to run into walls and break your house into a million pieces too, it's allowed.] That right there is the greatest thrash riff ever written. Trust me. I did many hours of research (man, research fucking KICKS ASS!!) and I came to this conclusion in a scientific way.

Oli Sykes sounds like he would like to fuck you up pretty bad, if he was a jacked dude from Sweden, I don't think anybody would mess with him.

These guys apparently live in the forest which is just about the most kvlt thing since Varg Vikernes discovered the kvlt equation; CHURCH + FIRE = AWESOME. That and ex-Emperor drummer, Faust's allusion to an important but unnamed theorem which states that "Should a man of the homosexual persuasion be found in a forest, the chances of finding a knife lodged in his body is inversely proportional to his distance from Faust". Back on the topic of forests, the members of WITR attempt to lead a completely organic life which sounds like hippy bullshit but since they make ass-kicking black metal it must be having some sort of positive effect on them. I wonder if we placed Dark Tranquillity in a forest they'd finally realise they have guitars and not just keyboards in their band?

:lol:

Perhaps you'll notice I haven't given the album a zero, which it really does deserve. Well it does have one thing going for it. Intensity. On more than one occasion this album had my adrenaline going. But really, if I want adrenaline I'll masturbate with my bedroom door open while my parents are home.

Azgorh and his Drowning the Light may indeed be chock full of satanic pride, but when the Lord of Darkness won't even bother returning your calls, that's gotta hurt.

Cool lyrics, I mean Hoglan is fucking Shakespeare. (Not literally, that's disgusting!)

I know this is old but:



That gets me every single time.

This is no case of sixties-seventies retroism occurring as early as the eighties; rather it is more like an evolutionary offshoot of metal entering a proverbial chrysalis to emerge from it like a bizarre mutant butterfly, an exemplar to all artists who are in a sense outsiders to the very genre they work in.

Listen to Eternal Nightmare, Sean Killian is one of the worst vocalists in metal history, but who in their right mind would ever say that that isn't one of the finest thrash records of all time? Same deal with Heathen.

This record is the equivalent of waking up in a mansion, with Leslie Nielson as your butler, and Euronymous is hanging at the bar with Lemmy, Dio is engaging in a game of basketball against Hervé Villechaize, and all the Playboy Bunnies are in their prime..... in your pool.... naked. To simplify, absolute paradise.

Slow the fuck down there. What's wrong with Heathen's vocals?

Heathen is one of my favorite bands, but the vocals are atrocious. They're straying out of key all of time, which is really the only complaint I have, but it's a big one. Just try and tell me that the chorus to Hypnotize doesn't sound just.... well, bad.

I love Heathen, but I really think that if Godfrey (or White, or whatever he's going by now), would work on his voice, they could be one of my top 10, hell, even top 5 bands of all time.

Keep in mind I haven't heard the 2005 demo yet, so for all I know time hath sweetened him.

They don't seem out of key to me. =/. Now, Warrel Dane's vocals, THEY are out of key. Also, there's nothing wrong with Sean Killian, I'd like to see you sing that fast.