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The Review Feedback Workshop https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=16487 |
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Author: | hakarl [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:19 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Subrick, did you not read the original post? Nightgaunt wrote: Finally, don't be posting here if your primary intention is just to receive pats on the back for a review that you know full-well is a solid piece of work. Your writing is solid enough, and since you didn't even specify any particular aspect which you would like to receive feedback about (eg. "do you think there's enough description", or "does my original, off-the-wall style work in this instance"), you're clearly just trying to get attention to your reviews. It's irritating, don't do it. |
Author: | Verd [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 7:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... sto/39313/ please, edit that hansi kursch (helloween), my eyes are bleeding |
Author: | hakarl [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 7:50 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Verd wrote: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Nepal/Manifiesto/39313/ please, edit that hansi kursch (helloween), my eyes are bleeding You can PM the author, or post in the review discussion thread. This, the review feedback workshop, is for a different purpose (read the original post). |
Author: | BastardHead [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 10:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Gabometal was banned many a moon ago, so contacting the author wouldn't do much to help. |
Author: | TheStormIRide [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Bastard... I much enjoyed your Manala review! |
Author: | BoxCar Willy [ Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:08 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Can I just speak my mind for a second? Do Reviews even get proofread here? Or is it just whatever submitted gets accepted? Because it seems that on any album with more than a few reviews there's a large chunk that absolutely atrocious. Like, "how did you pass 4th grade english" bad. I know there's room for improvment in writing, and that we all start somewhere, but dear god... |
Author: | Metantoine [ Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:16 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Feel free to point the bad reviews in the appropriated thread instead of being really helpful here. |
Author: | Obscurum [ Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
BoxCar Willy wrote: Do Reviews even get proofread here? Or is it just whatever submitted gets accepted? All potential reviews are proofread. I don't know this personally as I'm not a mod, and the review queue is only visible by them, but I'm gonna make an assumption that more reviews are rejected than approved. |
Author: | ~Guest 82538 [ Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
It should also be noticed that not everyone writing reviews is a native English speaking person. |
Author: | Inspector_Satan [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:37 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
My first review. Any comments or suggestions? For Primitive Man's album Scorn
Spoiler:
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Author: | Metantoine [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
That's good, there's enough musical description but it wouldn't hurt to include some more. I would approve this! |
Author: | Inspector_Satan [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:12 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Appreciate it, I started paring it down once I realized I just kept repeating myself. Really opened my eyes to how limited my active vocabulary is haha Edit: I'll send it to the queue, I may go back and touch it up if I keep writing reviews |
Author: | EspadaNegra [ Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:39 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
I wrote a review that has been rejected twice, however Im posting here before fixing it yet again to really understand the criteria being used, for future reference. At the end of the review, I write that the reviews I post on metal archives were originally worked for an independent internet radio show I do. So, I thought that wouldnt be a bad thing. However, when it was first turned down, I was told to make it clear that it was I who reviewed it on the show. So I did. It was rejected a second time, on grounds that the past rejecter had told me to refrain from this kind of promotion. I was told that it would be sufficient to just say "originally written for X". However.... Without getting into why it is frowned upon to promote a heavy metal show that reviews heavy metal on a review on this site, I wrote a review two months ago that got accepted and had that promotion how I originally wrote it, even with the ambiguity that the rejecter for the second review had noticed and told me to correct. So, at the end, I am having a review being rejected for something that my other review has and was accepted. I find this inconsistent. So, either you should tell me to also fix my first review, or see my first review, accepted by a moderator, as a precedent that I can promote my show on a review (which was reviewed originally on the show, and the written version are just the exact points discussed on said show). Any clarification on this is appreciated. |
Author: | Metantoine [ Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:47 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Yeah, if you wrote "originally written for X" and the review is acceptable based on our standards, everything should be fine... |
Author: | Christopher_Schmid [ Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:50 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
This review rejected twice few years back. May i ask someone to look at it and edit it so i can submit it again. I 'll be appreciate it. ========== Abandon - In Reality We Suffer If there is any doom thing a metal fan would need to have in his/her collection, it's this album. Aside from the spellbound artwork, some moments in album make it hard to breath. I believe most Doom metal fans have forgotten exactly what made us despise pop culture. The evidence would be properly found in nowadays scene where hundreds of one man bands have nothing to contribute but the very banal imitation of old school factors such as cliché riffing and screams which are rather pretentious in the new suit. The point I'm trying to make is old school music has personality. This personality has root in the habit of doing a dozen rehearsals, while a lot of recent acts are recorded by a PC and you have problem finding original bands which are still playing in full, a drummer, one on bass, two guitars and the vocal whose role is no dimmer than others. Abandon is one of those original bands which know how to take advantage of the mentioned unity. The music I'm talking about is in no way made up! It comes truly from heart. Each instrument is played ingeniously and also heard self-sufficiently. The drum work shows what is in the drummer's mind that is anger, boredom and hate for the useless beings. Fast double kicks are not played often but here and there they remind me of mighty disEMBOWELMENT. Who says doom metal should not sound harsh, angry and furious? It's the essence of metal music to be stormy and unhappy. "Trauma Is The Trigger" the second track of the album is preceded by the creepy and self-defining intro which together pave the path for what's to come. Sadness flows in with the first burst of the drum and heavy guitar riffs. Two minutes of drone like riffs get suffocated by grind beatings which remind us of the traditional way of making a decent song regardless of the style. The slow, brooding riff turns into some fast paced action. The first thing that someone will notice upon hearing it is the vocals. The first thing I thought when I heard it was that the vocalist was in pain. The type of pain is somehow philosophical here. You can find the associations in the lyrics and also the creepy artwork. The drums are perfect here. They are created with a rather death metal mood. That is fit to the anger within the text in which you're to drown. "Somnabulistic" is played as if we are watching a real battle. It has a very clear and warm sound. Some people may argue on the titles. Some believe a doom metal album should not contain fast drums and double kicks make it hard for a Doom metal fan to enjoy the music he/she is interested in. But don't waste your time thinking about these inappropriate judgments. Metal is flexible music and this album is a perfect example of the mentioned flexibility. In the beginning "Somnambulistic" starts with high tempo, passing every second you'll descend into the abyss they are creating. The drumming is damn good although relatively basic. Every instrument can be picked out easily but be prepared to go beyond this separation and seek the unity within. In my opinion this is an awesome track and I cannot think of anything wrong with it. "In Reality We Suffer" is another highlight. It starts with monotonous minor chords dressed in grey distorts. Here the vocals are but fucked up! I assume they are mad at something, you may know what I mean. Melodies keep adding up, and will be stuck in your head. At 3:20 distorts give place to clean chords, but that is short remedy; they are not supposed to give it a rest. The one thing I've always loved about this band was their ability to be both technical and enjoyable. Evidence of this can be found in almost 20 minute of this masterpiece. I am not one that cares about labels that much. This album may get titles like "Doom", "Sludge Doom" or even "Grind…" The thing is these guys are making pure sound and each song flows perfectly into the next, making it an undeniable Doom metal album. Creating such album was a serious effort and should be regarded as a demanding path to comprehend complexity buried in simplicity. Cohesion of structure is what they should be proud of. All songs are promising a revolutionary feel. To sum things up, if you're tired of piles of shit, pick this up.. Recommended to the weary … ========== |
Author: | Zodijackyl [ Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Christopher_Schmid wrote: This review rejected twice few years back. May i ask someone to look at it and edit it so i can submit it again. I 'll be appreciate it. The first paragraph and the last three say nothing about the album you are reviewing, rather they're a distracted overview/soapboxing about the perceived state of music. The parts about songs tend to be more of a walkthrough than an evaluation, reviewing, or wrap-up of the album as a whole, it isn't helpful to say "there's an intro, then this kind of riff, then a fast riff...". Focus on writing about the music and the album as a whole, and avoid gushing qualitative praise, fanboyism in reviews isn't enjoyable to read nor is it very helpful. Expand on this type of description: "It has a very clear and warm sound." Avoid walkthroughs of the songs, simply stating "this happens...." and also try to not to focus so much on what the style should and shouldn't be, but talk about what it is. |
Author: | Christopher_Schmid [ Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:01 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Zodijackyl wrote: Avoid walkthroughs of the songs, simply stating "this happens...." and also try to not to focus so much on what the style should and shouldn't be, but talk about what it is. Thanks for the tips! I think a get it now |
Author: | GuitarNick [ Sun Mar 03, 2013 2:45 pm ] |
Post subject: | Review Improvement |
I would appreciate some help regarding my review-writing correctness since I'm making some grammatical mistakes, especially when it comes to punctuation. We do use commas more often in Greece and I think that's why I keep making such mistakes. Anyway, here's my review : I am a new member to Amorphis' legacy. At first I listened to some of their new songs. I can't say I was disappointed because I really dug some of their recent work. But then again, I found out about The Karelian Isthmus. The thing is that, although I listen to many tons of metal, I do not listen to black or death except some specific bands (for example Rotting Christ) or songs. Somehow yet, I was truly absorbed by this album. At first I heard the intro - Karelian Isthmus - and then the great, the epic, the one and only, The Gathering. For a new death metal listener I must say they impressed me. I was taken aback and listened to this song over and over again. It was just a matter of time for me to discover the rest of the songs, wich are great too. Their dark, abysmal and unbearable heavy riffs combined with the slow tempo drums and the original and brutal voice are just perfect. A slow demonic music for the fans of the kind. It gets fast too with nice drumming and picking but again, it doesn't go far from death metal. A lot to ask but they made it. The epic melodies blend excellently with the darkness of their music. You really can't help but be mesmerised by their gloomy excellency. Their ancient sounding melodies are taking you back in time where Scandinavian warriors were chanting the hymn of Karelia in the frozen battlefields. At least that's what I like to think, although many of the songs talk about Celtic mythology ( Exile of the Sons of Uisliu ). Not even a single solo though, but that's very usual for bands of that kind. The one thing that you gotta admit anyway for this album is originality. Considering the year of publication one can understand that they did their own unique thing, meaning that they accomplished something that even today's black or death bands can't - originality. It seems common nowdays to listen to songs such as Black Embrace but it really isn't. Of course, the vocals have much to do with it. The brutality and the growls come out so naturally it's like Koivusaari didn't even try! Regarding the lyrical themes it is just what it needed to be. Dark themes talking about wars and - strangely - Celtic mythology rather than Scandinavian and religion. Grail's Mysteries' lyrics are really special in their own way, they depict a coronation of an ancient king of Cornwall, a man grown to be a king, grown to be a wild boar. It's like you're there! Moreover, they definately put some thought in " Lost Name of God " and " Misery Path " proving that they ain't just some angry guys screwing around. Generally, the whole album is flowing easily. The auditor feels like he's travelling on a drakkar watching all of these mythological stories and epic battle scenes unfold in front of him. It surely got cohesion as a whole effort while much care seems to have been given in the continuity of the songs, meaning that if it weren't for the gaps you wouldn't precisely understand where a song ends and where the next begins. A special album not to be missed by the fans of the genre. Place it in your stereo, turn it up and dive into the battlefields! Only one question is not answered yet : where are those Amoprhis? In the beginning of my review I stressed out that the new Amorphis are nice, but I surely wish that we could have more of this. What can I say, those are Amorphis' Mysteries! Even Tales from 1000 Lakes isn't like Karelian Isthmus. A one of a kind! |
Author: | RazorDick [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:29 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/H ... on/151504/ This is my first review. I feel I could have done better. Can somebody give me an opinion on it? |
Author: | Goran [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
So, can anyone give me a clue why this was rejected? Please tell me it's not the conciseness or final sentence. Quote: Whoa. I suspected something brutal for sure, but the amount of technical prowess surpasses everything on this album. Simply put, Monumental Torment is to be classified along bands like Origin, Braindrill, Viraemia, Spawn of Possession, etcetera. Love those? Then this is for you – otherwise, skip it.
There, that was the conclusion up front. The drums are programmed, but even though some gravity blasts are extreeeeeeme, the sound and grooves are convincing. The relentless display of guitar proficiency is quite jaw-dropping, granted your mouth or anus don’t snap shut when hearing sweeps sounding like a Nintendo 8-bit MIDI tune. A good thing that, occasionally, there’s a brief focus on some chunky chords. But even without that and despite all the high-speed chaos, there’s a constant rhythm that – believe it or not – allows for headbanging in the midst of this musical hurricane. Respect for the skills, both technical and compositional. Originally written for and published on www.corazine.com |
Author: | MalignantThrone [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 8:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
It's probably mostly for the conciseness, yes - or to be more accurate, the lack of in-depth musical description. You don't say much about elements such as melodies, rhythmic patterns, song composition, structural complexity, vocals, drum techniques, and so on. None of these are absolutely *necessary* in your review, but you should seriously consider adding more description to your review. Ideally, a review should tell me what sets a band apart - or what doesn't - from its peers. In your review's case I could apply that paragraph's worth of description you wrote to all five of the bands you mention near the beginning, word-for-word. Tell your readers what makes Monumental Torment unique, what they do different, what they could have done better. |
Author: | Thumbman [ Tue Mar 05, 2013 6:47 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
RazorDick wrote: http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Hellvetron/Ceremonial_Crucifixion/151504/ This is my first review. I feel I could have done better. Can somebody give me an opinion on it? Pretty good for a first review. While you do a pretty good job at describing the production, there should probably be more about the individual components - there is very little description of how the guitar operates and a bit more mention of how the individual components interact would be nice. This is a hell of a lot better than my early reviews. @Goran - Besides the aforementioned need for more musical description your review really is much too barebones. It really is not much more than a little blurb. Generally I would recommend the average paragraph being at least 5 sentences. I'm not familiar with the band you're reviewing, but if applicable maybe add a bit about the band's history and how this release builds upon (or fails to build upon) previous releases. |
Author: | wrathchild_88 [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 8:27 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
This is my first go at reviewing so let me know what you think... I've tried to encompass every element to review and I think it's turned out fairly well but I'm not really the literary type. I think I should have stuck with a style I'm more familiar with/knowledgeable about (thrash, basically). But you know, gotta try something new. Opinions please!
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Author: | johnny english [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Hi! Sorry for bothering you guys but i would like to ask some advices on how to improve my review. It was rejected few days ago because of "too many grammar issues". I checked this text many times before submit it, i also asked my friend who's fluent in English to proofread it for me. The text looks fine imo and unfortunately after all verifications my friend and i still can't find those serious grammar issues. Could anyone please take a look at it and tell me what's wrong with it? Thanks in advance for your help! Fear Factory - The Industrialist:
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This is my first review btw)). |
Author: | Peroy [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
johnny english wrote: Hi! Sorry for bothering you guys but i would like to ask some advices on how to improve my review. It was rejected few days ago because of "too many grammar issues". I checked this text many times before submit it, i also asked my friend who's fluent in English to proofread it for me. The text looks fine imo and unfortunately after all verifications my friend and i still can't find those serious grammar issues. Could anyone please take a look at it and tell me what's wrong with it? Thanks in advance for your help! Fear Factory - The Industrialist:
Spoiler:
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This is my first review btw)). After reading the first sentence of your review, I highly doubt that your friend's fluent in English... |
Author: | johnny english [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:38 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Peroy wrote: johnny english wrote: After reading the first sentence of your review, I highly doubt that your friend's fluent in English... well, he is not responsible for the content of review and my "style" of writing)) He said that it's pretty understandable, if not to be hypercritical. While some sentences may indeed be pretty complicated, majority of them are quite simple. But i guess it also depends on the individual perception... |
Author: | Opus [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
johnny english wrote: ontent of review and my "style" of writing)) He said that it's pretty understandable, if not to be hypercritical. While some sentences may indeed be pretty complicated, majority of them are quite simple. But i guess it also depends on the individual perception... It's not about complicated sentences, it's about basic grammar. There are three grammatical errors in the first sentence alone, punctuation aside. Mechanize was - A - pretty strong comeback, however not perfect or mind-blowing and it’s definitely - [is] - not going to be - A - classic like Demanufacture or Obsolete. |
Author: | halfformedfetus [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:35 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Hey guys so recently i have decided to write my first review and sadly it got rejected, ha ha but that's ok obviously it needs more work, can i get some feedback on this? General Surgery what a great band! Considering they haven't been the most prolific band in the Death/Grind scene in terms of releases; they continue to do nothing short of quality carcass inspired metal. "Like an Ever Flying Limb" is exactly that, every song screams carcass, although the production could have been slightly dirtier for my tastes. It defiantly has a heavy atmosphere and the pace of the EP is mid to fast; never failing to throw some awesome groovy head banging moments in, every song is catchy and memorable i would recommend this EP for any fans of death metal and grind-core. Although it could have been slightly longer in length, the two most memorable songs are Dark Cyanotic Hypostasis which has an extremely Necroticism era solo in it, i almost yelled plagiarism and Ejected Viscous Mucus which mixes groove with some very fast blasting grab this next time you see it |
Author: | hakarl [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Firstly, the text needs to be formatted into paragraphs without any extra returns. This is how it should be formatted: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed non risus eu lacus scelerisque dictum. Fusce ornare fermentum magna ut viverra. Sed tristique laoreet dui eget faucibus. Pellentesque vehicula sapien at erat suscipit id lobortis magna dapibus. Donec auctor tellus et velit feugiat sit amet bibendum sem venenatis. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Mauris et metus in dolor tempor adipiscing at eget elit. Maecenas aliquam rutrum diam ut consequat. Etiam non mi nunc, eget euismod lectus. Integer quis tristique quam. Praesent sem neque, interdum sed posuere ac, placerat a libero. Vestibulum vel molestie dolor. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Morbi felis quam, varius a egestas a, malesuada nec quam. Donec congue convallis bibendum. Morbi dapibus ultricies purus dictum pulvinar. Maecenas mollis, purus at viverra rutrum, purus neque lacinia dolor, et placerat quam velit id massa. Donec consectetur rhoncus neque in facilisis. Morbi laoreet, lectus sed tempus lobortis, urna sapien pulvinar purus, in feugiat ante urna sit amet turpis. Fusce in magna lectus. Aenean in arcu a orci dignissim porttitor ac et ligula. Nunc et ipsum vel tellus varius gravida a et turpis. Vivamus at ligula ut turpis luctus commodo eu eu felis. Donec commodo, tellus eu dignissim fringilla, risus felis placerat justo, rutrum placerat lectus est quis dolor. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. 1. Two hits of enter between each paragraph so there's one empty line. 2. Let the paragraph format itself manually. Only add a line break when you change paragraps. As for content, your review has way too little. You need to add more musical description. You also have to improve your spelling and grammar. Always capitalise the first letter of a sentence, use a spellcheck and avoid run-on sentences. Grammar or spelling need not be even nearly perfect for the review to be acceptable, but you have mispellings like "defiantly" instead of "definitely"; that's already quite bad. You also have very poorly paced run-on sentences that make your review difficult to read. The keyword is putting the right kind of effort into it. I'm pretty sure I put more effort into writing this post than you did in your review. |
Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
halfformedfetus: Was that the whole review? What did the rejection note say? If you compare it to most others that are up, you'll be able to see some obvious reasons it was rejected. Ilwhyan definitely covered it, and I'd only add that reading is one of the best ways to learn how to write. I don't know how familiar you are with the site, but any user's reviews can be looked up in a list all their own. The mods write well; Ilwhyan himself writes well, so you could do worse than to just stick to those, but I say pick an album you like, take in the word craft of a particularly good review for it, read something else by that person, etc. and link hop your day away. But don't submit the thing until you feel confident it says what you want it to. My first review was pretty lame and got rejected. I've written a total of two. Though I've been writing for a while, I'd never written an album review before that. It's not as easy as it looks. My advice is scrap that one and start over. |
Author: | Metantoine [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:22 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
My rejection message simply said that that the review wasn't acceptable based on our standards. Reading 2 or 3 accepted reviews can obviously help to know why. Anyway, Ilwhyan said everything I wanted to! |
Author: | halfformedfetus [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:06 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm wrote: halfformedfetus: Was that the whole review? What did the rejection note say? If you compare it to most others that are up, you'll be able to see some obvious reasons it was rejected. Ilwhyan definitely covered it, and I'd only add that reading is one of the best ways to learn how to write. I don't know how familiar you are with the site, but any user's reviews can be looked up in a list all their own. The mods write well; Ilwhyan himself writes well, so you could do worse than to just stick to those, but I say pick an album you like, take in the word craft of a particularly good review for it, read something else by that person, etc. and link hop your day away. But don't submit the thing until you feel confident it says what you want it to. My first review was pretty lame and got rejected. I've written a total of two. Though I've been writing for a while, I'd never written an album review before that. It's not as easy as it looks. My advice is scrap that one and start over. Thanks alot man! yeah i still have alot to learn! should have been paying attention in class other than drawing pentagrams and zombies cheers for the feedback though appreciate it |
Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
You're welcome, bro. Hey, you won Morrigan's "best picture in the thread" award. I couldn't just leave you out in the cold! |
Author: | slayrrr666 [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:30 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
So, this has been rejected twice and it's been done in a style I've used before here without any rejection difficulty at all and I'm lost as to why it's not being accepted, so I would greatly appreciate any help. The fourteenth offering from Finnish power metal heroes Stratovarius, “Nemesis” could very well be the crowning opus of their recent output and is certainly on par with their glory days in the mid-90s and is surely the strongest of the post-Tolkki albums the group’s released. Opening track ‘Abandon’ starts off with a frenetic drum-beat opener that soon gives way to a soaring, rousing series of back-and-forth jabs as the band’s melodic dirge and Timo Koltipelto’s vocals swirl together in creating a rocking opener that sounds as good as the epics from their past, as the technical drumming and rolling grooves make an instant winner. The next track, first single ‘Unbreakable’ is surely appropriate of the fate as it’s a rather fine up-tempo but more melodic fare with some exceptional vocal melodies and a rather rocking pace that seems to be the band’s newfound style of uplifting melodic power metal rather than the classy symphonic approach of the past, though it does show signs of bringing back the spark of their olden days with a nice change-up into a more traditional fade-out at the end that’s quite impressive. Next track, ‘Stand My Ground’ is a little weak, with the band tending to revert to the uninspired melodic metal, devoid of the power they played in Tolkki’s last years, and despite the grand choruses and a potentially intriguing riff-work along the solo section it feels a little weak. This is thankfully rectified by the next two tracks, album highlight ‘Halcyon Days’ and ‘Fantasy,’ the former containing the band’s fastest work on the whole album with an awe-inspiring intro that thrashes away with joyful abandon and features the most traditional/old-school symphonic power-metal Stratovarius-like work on the whole album with its’ epic feeling, while the later is a melodic mid-tempo rager that thankfully never stays into the ballad medium the way it starts but gets a lot quicker when the band backing vocals kick in to create a fantastic feel of their new-found melodic power metal style. The second half starts off strong with ‘Out of the Fog,’ a rocking mid-tempo but occasionally quicker-paced offering that sees the band really turning this more relaxed melodic power metal style into their own with a rather impressive and overall strong track that ranks with the bands’ best works including a frenetic drum pattern, some inspired riff-work and those soaring vocals they’ve honed incredibly well over the years. ‘Castles in the Air’ is an even-more relaxed song and almost feels as though it’s supposed to be a ballad only is a bit too fast to be one especially with the band’s backing vocals during the chorus giving off a more epic feel than most ballads and the greater degree of electronic instrumentation is another fine clue. Two similar songs follow, with ‘Dragons’ being the better of the two by the virtue of its grandiose imagery with the riff-work coming off as slightly more impressive and it’s solo a lot more imposing with the backing vocals giving it a grand feeling. The true ballad ‘If the Story is Over’ is the same story heard over and over in the genre’s ballads, if you’re into the kind of song played it’s quite enjoyable while those into the more rocking tunes it’ll feel quite lame and cheesy with its use of strings and laid-back feelings of sentimentality. Thankfully, the title track closes things out with an impressive return to the more rocking vibe of the rest of the album and generally has a strong, up-tempo vibe that gives off the epic feel of their old material quite well and ends the album on a strong note. There’s not a whole lot here to dislike with this release, as it’s consistent, well-written with numerous strong hooks, leads and riffs, and contains a strong production job that gives everyone a great performance while maintaining the closest yet to the classy power metal sound and feel of their predecessor’s albums of the past. About the only flaw to be found within the work is the keyboards which are kept low and not really given a chance to shine as that keeps the band from reaching the symphonic grandiosity they enjoyed in the past, yet this also serves well with their more relaxed approach recently and definitely has some good points about it. While not quite at the level of their best works, this is still one of their better records and is clearly the best thing they’ve done without Timo Tolkki in the group, and ranks among the years’ top overall albums in the genre so far. So, again, I've used this style in the past here without difficulty, I'd like to know what's wrong with this one. Thanks! |
Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
It's almost impossible to read. For example, these are each one confusing sentence: "The next track, first single ‘Unbreakable’ is surely appropriate of the fate as it’s a rather fine up-tempo but more melodic fare with some exceptional vocal melodies and a rather rocking pace that seems to be the band’s newfound style of uplifting melodic power metal rather than the classy symphonic approach of the past, though it does show signs of bringing back the spark of their olden days with a nice change-up into a more traditional fade-out at the end that’s quite impressive." "This is thankfully rectified by the next two tracks, album highlight ‘Halcyon Days’ and ‘Fantasy,’ the former containing the band’s fastest work on the whole album with an awe-inspiring intro that thrashes away with joyful abandon and features the most traditional/old-school symphonic power-metal Stratovarius-like work on the whole album with its’ epic feeling, while the later is a melodic mid-tempo rager that thankfully never stays into the ballad medium the way it starts but gets a lot quicker when the band backing vocals kick in to create a fantastic feel of their new-found melodic power metal style." Your review takes run-on into the realm of cross country, and it's chronic throughout. Look how much text is there and how few periods -- lots of commas with lots of "and"s. It's inundating. Try to read the review out loud, and you'll see what I mean. Also, your adjectives need to vary in order to not sound (be) monotonous. I couldn't follow the thoughts well enough to even comment on the content. There are spelling, grammatical, and formatting issues as well. |
Author: | slayrrr666 [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:45 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Okay, yeah, I see what you mean with that 'reading-it-out-loud' thing. I get to where I have a thought and I want to put it down, but it just comes out in one long sentence. I'll get on that. |
Author: | hakarl [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:50 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Your reviews would definitely benefit if you wrote them in a process, not in one sitting. Write all your thoughts down as a long rambling, meandering piece if you must, but return to it the next day and fix every awkward bit you come across. If you just try to narrow down all the mistakes and poorly written parts in one sitting, you'll become blind to them. Give it a rest for a while and think about something else. Your brain will unconsciously work on it while you're occupying your consciousness with something else. Sleep in between session does wonders. |
Author: | slayrrr666 [ Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:24 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
All right, will do. Thanks for the help, guys. |
Author: | slayrrr666 [ Sun Mar 31, 2013 3:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Okay, from the let's-try-this-once-more file: I've been popped for this review three different times (most recently because it was a 'track-by-track' review according to the rejecting mod with no other significant reasons given that would qualify for a rejection) so I figure that one more look in here would suffice before an official submission one more time. Given that information, what else can be done to this one before I submit it for a fourth time: The fourteenth offering from Finnish power metal heroes Stratovarius, “Nemesis” could very well be the crowning opus of their recent output and is certainly on par with their glory days in the mid-90s and is surely the strongest of the post-Tolkki albums the group’s released under their newfound style of energetic yet melodic power metal. Opening track ‘Abandon’ starts off with a frenetic drumming intro that soon gives way to a soaring, rousing series of back-and-forth jabs as the bands’ melodic sound, technical drumming, rolling grooves and Timo Koltipelto’s vocals swirl together in creating a rocking opener that sounds as good as the epics from their past and makes an instant winner. The next track, appropriate first single ‘Unbreakable’ is a rather fine up-tempo yet more melodic fare with some exceptional vocal melodies and a rather rocking pace that seems to showcase the band’s newfound melodic power metal style rather than the classy symphonic approach of the past, even though it does show signs of bringing back the spark of their olden days with a nice change-up into a more traditional fade-out at the end that’s quite impressive. Next track, ‘Stand My Ground’ is a little weak, with the band tending to revert to the uninspired melodic metal, devoid of the power they played in Tolkki’s last years, and despite the grand choruses and a potentially intriguing riff-work along the solo section it feels a little weak. This is thankfully rectified by the next two tracks, album highlight ‘Halcyon Days’ and ‘Fantasy’; the former being the band’s fastest work on the whole album with an awe-inspiring intro that thrashes away with joyful abandon which creates a real epic feeling in parts and is the most traditional/old-school symphonic power-metal Stratovarius-like song on the whole album. The latter, meanwhile, is a melodic mid-tempo rager that thankfully never strays into the ballad medium the way it starts but gets into a lot quicker tempo when the band’s backing vocals kick in to create another winner in their new-found melodic power metal style. The second half starts off strong with ‘Out of the Fog,’ a rocking mid-tempo but occasionally quicker-paced offering that sees the band really turning this more relaxed melodic power metal style into their own with a rather impressive and overall strong track that ranks with the bands’ best works including a frenetic drum pattern, some inspired riff-work and those soaring vocals they’ve honed incredibly well over the years. ‘Castles in the Air’ is an even-more relaxed song and almost feels as though it could be a ballad but is a bit too fast, especially with the band’s backing vocals during the chorus giving off a more epic feel than most ballads and the greater degree of electronic instrumentation being another fine clue. Two similar relaxing, laid-back songs follow, with ‘Dragons’ being the better of the two by the virtue of its grandiose imagery with the riff-work coming off as slightly more impressive and it’s solo a lot more imposing with the backing vocals giving it a grand feeling. The true ballad ‘If the Story is Over’ is the same story heard over and over in the genre’s ballads, so if you’re into that kind of song it’s quite enjoyable while for those into the more rocking tunes, it’ll feel quite lame and cheesy with its use of strings and laid-back feelings of sentimentality. Thankfully, the title track closes things out with an impressive return to the more rocking vibe of the rest of the album and generally has a strong, up-tempo vibe that gives off the epic feel of their old material quite well and ends the album on a strong note. There’s not a whole lot here to dislike with this release, as it’s consistent, well-written with numerous strong hooks, leads and riffs, and contains a strong production job that gives everyone a great performance while maintaining the closest yet to the classy power metal sound and feel of their predecessor’s albums of the past. About the only flaw to be found within the work is the keyboards which are kept low and not really given a chance to shine as that keeps the band from reaching the symphonic grandiosity they enjoyed in the past, yet this also serves well with their more relaxed approach recently and definitely has some good points about it. While not quite at the level of their best works, this is still one of their better records and is clearly the best thing they’ve done without Timo Tolkki in the group, and ranks among the years’ top overall albums in the genre so far. |
Author: | Zodijackyl [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:16 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
slayrrr666 wrote: Okay, from the let's-try-this-once-more file: I've been popped for this review three different times (most recently because it was a 'track-by-track' review according to the rejecting mod with no other significant reasons given that would qualify for a rejection) so I figure that one more look in here would suffice before an official submission one more time. Given that information, what else can be done to this one before I submit it for a fourth time Avoid reviewing it track-by-track, because you repeat a very limited range of descriptions several times - mentioning that it is melodic, it's power metal, it's a certain tempo. You're saying very little about the album as a whole, instead using most of the review to talk about minute differences between tracks. Compare it to their other albums, to other bands, and talk about the music in general. There are too many wasted words and distractions from the important descriptions - removing a significant part of the review improves it, because it focuses more on the actual music. For example, if you polished these two paragraphs and wrote another describing the music on the album as a whole, this would be acceptable and quite efficient. slayrrr666 wrote: The fourteenth offering from Finnish power metal heroes Stratovarius, “Nemesis” could very well be the crowning opus of their recent output and is certainly on par with their glory days in the mid-90s and is surely the strongest of the post-Tolkki albums the group’s released under their newfound style of energetic yet melodic power metal. Opening track ‘Abandon’ starts off with a frenetic drumming intro that soon gives way to a soaring, rousing series of back-and-forth jabs as the bands’ melodic sound, technical drumming, rolling grooves and Timo Koltipelto’s vocals swirl together in creating a rocking opener that sounds as good as the epics from their past and makes an instant winner. Thankfully, the title track closes things out with an impressive return to the more rocking vibe of the rest of the album and generally has a strong, up-tempo vibe that gives off the epic feel of their old material quite well and ends the album on a strong note.
There’s not a whole lot here to dislike with this release, as it’s consistent, well-written with numerous strong hooks, leads and riffs, and contains a strong production job that gives everyone a great performance while maintaining the closest yet to the classy power metal sound and feel of their predecessor’s albums of the past. About the only flaw to be found within the work is the keyboards which are kept low and not really given a chance to shine as that keeps the band from reaching the symphonic grandiosity they enjoyed in the past, yet this also serves well with their more relaxed approach recently and definitely has some good points about it. While not quite at the level of their best works, this is still one of their better records and is clearly the best thing they’ve done without Timo Tolkki in the group, and ranks among the years’ top overall albums in the genre so far. |
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