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Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14619		 Page 39 of 76
Author:  2Eagle333 [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
I wouldn't call that review "LOL" though. I'd just say it's pretty poor, in all respects, but I don't find it funny.

I suppose that you could call going into a pseudo-philosophical dissertation on how death is not the end because heavy metal fans were not meant to be born on earth poor reviewing practice.
Author:  Morrigan [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
For Nightwish - Imaginaerum:
Quote:
Short and sweet review:

The music is excellent, the vocals are excellent, the songs are excellent, Finland in general is excellent. this is their best work in a long time and in a world with shitty pop songs and he-who-shall-not-be-named (Bieber), it is a treat for the ears and mind to hear great music from a great band!


:durr:
Author:  ~Guest 282118 [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Is what Morrigan just posted a review or a YouTube comment?
Author:  MalignantThrone [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Loving the monumental irony in referring to Nightwish as a glimmering beacon of hope in "a world with shitty pop songs". :lol:
Author:  Subrick [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
Is what Morrigan just posted a review or a YouTube comment?


Most likely both.
Author:  Zelkiiro [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
Is what Morrigan just posted a review or a YouTube comment?

Let's not resort to insulting the YouTube community by attributing this to them. Even they have standards.
Author:  ~Guest 282118 [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
No Zelk, they don't. Have you read YouTube comments? This look like it's straight out of that wretched cesspool of dead brain cells.
Author:  In [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
No Zelk, they don't. Have you read YouTube comments? This look like it's straight out of that wretched cesspool of dead brain cells.

The YouTube comments section is where intelligence goes to die.
Author:  Nightgaunt [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
I reckoned you humans would enjoy this one. Staffers probably recognize that the band itself is sort of an (unintentional) running gag in site history.

For Emerna's Mortem Animalium:

Quote:
The End. Mortem Animalium. In the name of the last slip, for the last sense had died. "Mortem Animalium" is just one of the Emerna's masterworks which recorded in 2007. You will hear about "Mortem Animalium" more in the future and it depends on your sense. When you don't have explanation from out of something you will go inside it. If my explanation about "Mortem Animalium" is in fiction then I get the deliriums of Emerna. I'm just envisioning until I reach the depth of brutish. Then we're starting with a beam, what are you want to reach for? "A Lengthening Ray" is not all that you are looking for, the internal serenity of this opus is bring you the base of luck and that eternal truth doesn't matter whether is a lie or a symphony of pain. "Esoteric Digression" absolutely makes destruction and I will notice that at the end. The rebellious rhythm of the opus is not related to your feelings and maybe this fiction won't be endless. If the tradition is that you search the nothingness then it is going to be destructive. "Ambiguous Delirium" takes you to depth of somewhere that you can't find anything except: absurdity, and just absurdity! This is something that let you submit the animus in front of the truth. It's not important that "Conclusive Evidence" make the cancer of mind but vanity is the important part. To overtake a vision … a love … a god … an outlet and maybe another nil. Sometimes and just sometimes, this fear of naught and sometimes worship of something like love or even enormous and sometimes searching the existing in absence and sometimes the desire of nocturnal sorrow … The whole or none for that continual sudden and a maze in the name LIE to prove the vapidity. What I told about destruction, is going to the end here. To where that nothingness, absurdity, fiction and false, destruction and the glory mix with each other and then, the "When I Die" will arise. No follow except reaching hate. This silence with Mortem Animalium is just another manifest to improve another Nihil (Nothing).
Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Nightgaunt wrote:
Staffers probably recognize that the band itself is sort of an (unintentional) running gag in site history.

Care to elaborate?
Author:  ~Guest 282118 [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
MalignantThrone wrote:
Nightgaunt on Enerma wrote:
Staffers probably recognize that the band itself is sort of an (unintentional) running gag in site history.

Care to elaborate?

Yeah Nightgaunt, we'd like to know too.

As for the review itself, one particular line captured my attention; "I'm just envisioning until I reach the depth of brutish". The depth. Of. Brutish. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
Author:  oogboog [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
As for the review itself, one particular line captured my attention; "I'm just envisioning until I reach the depth of brutish". The depth. Of. Brutish. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Well...
Quote:
When you don't have explanation from out of something you will go inside it.

That seems even more esoteric.
Author:  ~Guest 282118 [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Yeah, but when it comes down to it, the entire review reads like something made by a part time philosopher with brain damage.
Author:  Zelkiiro [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Xlxlx wrote:
As for the review itself, one particular line captured my attention; "I'm just envisioning until I reach the depth of brutish". The depth. Of. Brutish. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

You know, when you plunge into brutish in order to reach its depths. Or something.

IT'S TOO DEEP FOR ME, MAN.
Author:  Pr0nogo [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 2:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
You must have plunged too deep.
Author:  Derigin [ Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
For Virus Bélico's "Envenedados":
This Kills the Metal wrote:
The song is very good, the initiative of composing these songs, helping society and culture to open their eyes and wonder about the state of religion, and to keep alive the essence of rebellion against the establishment.

Music is an aggressive metal, along with the voice. That still does not stop the metal.
Author:  Metantoine [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Image
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
I wonder if the submitting user will get your sense of humour... :D
Author:  Azmodes [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
That's the moderator notes, not the actual rejection message.
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Erh... :durr:
Author:  Metantoine [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
I hope he'll get my rejection message since he wrote 2 reviews like this one. These people are funny, at least check 1 or 2 approved reviews before submitting yours, fuck!
Author:  ~Guest 82538 [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Funny fact is that the song that was playing here while I posted was Ghoul's "Numbskull". :p
Author:  Metantoine [ Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
I was bludgeoned by short blurb Engrish reviews!
Image
Image
Author:  hakarl [ Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
How unusual, only one spelling mistake! He even spelled 'progressive' correctly.
Author:  Metantoine [ Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
One of the best Engrish review ever! A shame, this demo doesn't have any reviews :(

For Rotten Bitch - Who the Fuck Are:

"When i see the demo, i just think, "Crap, I just were wishing can hear this fucking demo, it's mi freaking time" , and begin to hear.

The demo begin with a slow guitar intro that have a pretty cool ambient, but nothing so admirable, then, the next song begin, called "Rotten bitch" is the Thrasher song from this demo, have a really good voice line that follow the main riff. The song is very long, so to the end of the song the riff change and the song turn a little bored...

The next song is called "Sentence to death" is like a slow heavy metal with some pitched voice,sometimes you think that the song is gonna to turn fast but, begin slow again, at least 'till the middle of the song, when guitar player begin to "Riffing" some thrash and the drum turn faster, and vocals are pitcher, the song finish with a littler guitar solo, and return to the slow part, isn't a good change.

The next song is called "Vision in fear" how the last track, begin with a slow guitar riff, like a slow NWOBHM, the bass sound pretty awesome is this track, cause you can hear it , you can hear it so high, then, the drums begin to play faster, and guitar goes thrasher. This song has a good riffing moments and the voice change in a moment.. there's a cut in the final stretch of the song and a new "Riff" if can call it like that, appear, and it fade away to ending.

The Last song is calles "Bubr's Theme, and begin with a pretty awesome intro riff, with a powerfull palm muting and a "little guitar intro solo" .. then the riff becomes faster and the drums appear, and becomes faster and faster with a awesome guitar solo, there's a cut and some laugh were heard and the song ends.

In general the demo is Pretty good, but, no too Thrash is more like a heavy metal with powerful thrash influences, and i want to highligh the vocals works, and guitar, 'cause the vocals are amazing in every song and becomes pitcher and powerful in everysong, and guitar made a pretty good riffs"
Author:  Necroticism174 [ Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Best thing I've ever read.
Author:  ~Guest 282118 [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
That piece really touched me. As in, it violated me.
Author:  mad_submarine [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
My reviews are pending for 2 weeks. Is this normal?
Author:  BastardHead [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Sometimes, yes. The queue is very backed up right now and Metantoine and myself did a rambo run through it last night and only managed to wipe out about a third of it. Also, two things: 1) Asking why your reviews are taking a long time is pretty much a surefire way to annoy the mod team and may end up with us skipping over your reviews until the rest is done, and 2) If you review an album as well covered as Filosofem, chances are it'll take a lot longer since we've all read everything there is to read dozens of times about Burzum, and we don't always want to burn ourselves out again.

Long story short, be patient, we're always working.
Author:  Metantoine [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 2:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Also, asking that in the Crappy Diem is very funny!
Author:  mad_submarine [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
BastardHead wrote:
Sometimes, yes. The queue is very backed up right now and Metantoine and myself did a rambo run through it last night and only managed to wipe out about a third of it. Also, two things: 1) Asking why your reviews are taking a long time is pretty much a surefire way to annoy the mod team and may end up with us skipping over your reviews until the rest is done, and 2) If you review an album as well covered as Filosofem, chances are it'll take a lot longer since we've all read everything there is to read dozens of times about Burzum, and we don't always want to burn ourselves out again.

Long story short, be patient, we're always working.


No problem, I appreciate it :) I just wanted to make sure that the system hasn't crashed or anything. Thanks again!
Author:  Metantoine [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Image
LOL
Author:  MalignantThrone [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Ignoring the random reference to The Who shoehorned in...I like how it's his all-time favorite album "so far". He doesn't sound very confident of his preferences.
Author:  shouvince [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Clearly the guy doesn't know the difference between its and it's. But I suppose that's the least of his problems :P
Author:  doomster999 [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Did he actually make a reference to The Who? No idea, the shit just went over my head. :o
Author:  Zelkiiro [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
I think he meant to review a different album and confused M-A with Amazon. ;)
Author:  Wilytank [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Due to the lack of punctuation, for all we know he could have said "the who shit" calling The Who shit.

Or else he just walked into his living room and saw that someone took a shit on his couch.
Author:  iamntbatman [ Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
Nightgaunt wrote:
I reckoned you humans would enjoy this one. Staffers probably recognize that the band itself is sort of an (unintentional) running gag in site history.

For Emerna's Mortem Animalium:

Quote:
The End. Mortem Animalium. In the name of the last slip, for the last sense had died. "Mortem Animalium" is just one of the Emerna's masterworks which recorded in 2007. You will hear about "Mortem Animalium" more in the future and it depends on your sense. When you don't have explanation from out of something you will go inside it. If my explanation about "Mortem Animalium" is in fiction then I get the deliriums of Emerna. I'm just envisioning until I reach the depth of brutish. Then we're starting with a beam, what are you want to reach for? "A Lengthening Ray" is not all that you are looking for, the internal serenity of this opus is bring you the base of luck and that eternal truth doesn't matter whether is a lie or a symphony of pain. "Esoteric Digression" absolutely makes destruction and I will notice that at the end. The rebellious rhythm of the opus is not related to your feelings and maybe this fiction won't be endless. If the tradition is that you search the nothingness then it is going to be destructive. "Ambiguous Delirium" takes you to depth of somewhere that you can't find anything except: absurdity, and just absurdity! This is something that let you submit the animus in front of the truth. It's not important that "Conclusive Evidence" make the cancer of mind but vanity is the important part. To overtake a vision … a love … a god … an outlet and maybe another nil. Sometimes and just sometimes, this fear of naught and sometimes worship of something like love or even enormous and sometimes searching the existing in absence and sometimes the desire of nocturnal sorrow … The whole or none for that continual sudden and a maze in the name LIE to prove the vapidity. What I told about destruction, is going to the end here. To where that nothingness, absurdity, fiction and false, destruction and the glory mix with each other and then, the "When I Die" will arise. No follow except reaching hate. This silence with Mortem Animalium is just another manifest to improve another Nihil (Nothing).


That one IS good. I feel like they just grabbed something off that Post-Modern Essay Generator, changed various nouns to song titles, then ran that through Google Translate back and forth through a couple languages.
Author:  mad_submarine [ Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
MalignantThrone wrote:
Loving the monumental irony in referring to Nightwish as a glimmering beacon of hope in "a world with shitty pop songs". :lol:


This is officially the funniest thread here.
Author:  caspian [ Sat Mar 16, 2013 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejec
yeah that Emerna one is the king of the page, those other "yeah man fucken good death metal!!!!" ones are cool but they aren't the bad reviews you remember. That emerna's up there with grains in her face..
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