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SleeperManShish
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:50 am
Posts: 8
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:42 pm 
 

A DAFT IDEA

I think the Review Workshop is probably the best thread on this whole damn forum, I live how everyone chips in and can either be a prick or a Fonzie if they choose, and even help out with foreign folk's understanding of English and things like that. It's like it's own wee community of sweetness and light and love of blethering.

I had an idea for a review we could write together, purely to amuse ourselves and end up with The Most Metal Archives Review Ever... if we end up with anything at all, maybe it'll just go on forever. Maybe it'll get so democratised that it just becomes meaninglessly bland, maybe it'll become a sprawling mess that serves only to confuse?

Or maybe the whole process will be some weird fluctuating work of spelling mistakes, grammarbombs, corrections, tweaks and the like...

I was gonna post this in the Review Workshop thread but I don't want to fuck that thread up.

We can engage or ignore with this thread as much as we like, let it slip down the board for years at a time if we decide. The thrill will be in the work or non-work itself. If we decide we've done all we can do for one review then we can start another.

STARTING POINT:
I would like to begin with the most substandard description of an album I can imagine: too short, too vague, too plain. Then we make slight improvements and post them, one at a time, until a review starts to form out if the muck.
In the first reply to this topic I'll start one.
EVERYONE IS FREE TO EDIT, IMPROVE, DESTROY OR TWEAK THE PREVIOUS POSTER'S WORK.

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SleeperManShish
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:50 am
Posts: 8
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 5:34 pm 
 

Om - Conference of the Birds


The bass is really cool and distorted.

I like how the drums are slow.

Man, those lyrics, what the hell huh?

The vocals are ok I suppose.

The whole album is kinda the same.

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gasmask_colostomy
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 163
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:03 am 
 

SleeperManShish wrote:
Om - Conference of the Birds


The bass is really cool and distorted.

I like how the drums are slow.

Man, those lyrics, what the hell huh?

The vocals are ok I suppose.

The whole album is kinda the same.


I already reviewed 'Conference of the Birds' and it's not quite the perfect choice for something everyone will get into, but whatever, this sounds kind of amusing.


The whole thing sounds like an Aborigine walkabout reimagined as two long songs. The Aborigine finds a dictionary at the beginning and starts to list all the words he thinks he can link into a story. He drones off said story as his feet pound out a steady rhythm, his purpose feeling more intense with each step. He hallucinates in the awful sun of the bush. Om had this dream and then wrote it as music.

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