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agentsteel666
Yet Another Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:31 am 
 

I started a thread in the tavern about my personal love relationship with a girlfriend and the mods locked it. What rule was I breaking? Is there any thread that I could use to post my feelings about this? What about the FFA thread?

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Unholy_Asar
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:29 am
Posts: 472
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 9:07 am 
 

I believe discussing relationship issues as a general thing are discouraged, as they more often than not turn into the "Awww, we love you Mikey" kind of situations that were prevalent in the old FFA thread.

This is the reasoning regarding this:
Napero wrote:
There's been plenty of personal relationship issues, be it on the family of the poster, the ex-girlfriend, or someone the author would love to hump like an overclocked rabbit but ends up eating ice cream with if he's lucky. Now, there's nothing wrong with discussing these things on a superficial level, but once it gets too intimate and the group-hug things get underway, the situation turns to half a dozen people feeling the warmth and love, and the rest of the world feeling nauseous and irritated.


That's part of what Napero said in this thread:
http://www.metal-archives.com/board/vie ... hp?t=41499

I believe there is no real written rule on the subject, but posting stuff about relationship issues is generally discouraged on anything but the most basic level (ie posting a short notice about going to an awesome date with your girlfriend in the FFA thread). As Napero said, these discussions should be held on a superficial level, and no more.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14205
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:42 am 
 

Yeah, I was the worst offender of this sort of topic, so you can hurl your rotten eggs my way. It only takes a few to ruin it for everyone, and in this case it was me. Nevertheless, topics like that should go in the FFA, and even then they are either discouraged or suggested to be limited to "this is what's happening" rather than "waa waa waa I need a hug" type posts.

Trust me, I learned the hard way.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:08 am 
 

Yeah, the two gentlemen here are right: we don't want this to turn into a group hugging therapy group. There are better places for discussing your love life than the MA board.
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orionmetalhead
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:54 am
Posts: 2327
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:40 pm 
 

Yeah like, with your girlfriend. Shes the only one who cares dude.
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agentsteel666
Yet Another Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:21 pm 
 

My thread was meant to start a discussion about what love was and I used my own personal experience as an example to start my point off. The point I left the reader with was that I saw no connection between love and sex, and then I challenged someone to prove me wrong. I invited others to sympathize and make me feel a little better, just knowing that people listen and understand my feelings. But that wasn't the main point of my post.

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oneyoudontknow
Cum insantientibus furere necesse est.

Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 6:25 pm
Posts: 5343
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:17 pm 
 

ask yourself, is it really necessary to discuss everything on the internet?
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Revengeance
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:21 am
Posts: 164
Location: Antarctica
PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:27 pm 
 

Frankly, it sounds like he was raising an interesting subject worth discussing. On the other hand it sounds like he loaded it with some degree of extraneous information. Would the topic have been ok if he'd relayed his conclusions and cited, generally, what experiences he derived them from? I didn't read the original post but is it possible that there was an over-sensitivity to sensitivity?

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Unholy_Asar
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:29 am
Posts: 472
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:56 pm 
 

Revengeance wrote:
Frankly, it sounds like he was raising an interesting subject worth discussing. On the other hand it sounds like he loaded it with some degree of extraneous information. Would the topic have been ok if he'd relayed his conclusions and cited, generally, what experiences he derived them from? I didn't read the original post but is it possible that there was an over-sensitivity to sensitivity?


I believe that the general concensus is that relationship issues should be discussed at a superficial level and no more.

Perhaps if he didn't include his own experiences as much and the topic came across more as a discussion about his views on the relation between love and sex, which seemed to be more or less the point which he was getting at, it might have stood a chance.

As it looked at the time, it would probably only have stirred up a bunch of shit of the kind that this forum really isn't the place for.
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Nazhand wrote:
True Black Metal is NOT kind of Metal, that is a complete independent music so Nazhand believes "the name of music which is called Black Metal nowadays, should be changed to Blackness music and shameful name of Metal should be cut out from our music".

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agentsteel666
Yet Another Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:48 am 
 

Unholy_Asar wrote:
Revengeance wrote:
Frankly, it sounds like he was raising an interesting subject worth discussing. On the other hand it sounds like he loaded it with some degree of extraneous information. Would the topic have been ok if he'd relayed his conclusions and cited, generally, what experiences he derived them from? I didn't read the original post but is it possible that there was an over-sensitivity to sensitivity?


I believe that the general concensus is that relationship issues should be discussed at a superficial level and no more.

Perhaps if he didn't include his own experiences as much and the topic came across more as a discussion about his views on the relation between love and sex, which seemed to be more or less the point which he was getting at, it might have stood a chance.

As it looked at the time, it would probably only have stirred up a bunch of shit of the kind that this forum really isn't the place for.


It may have stirred up a bunch of flame wars, it may have not. But even if it did, why are the mods not allowing people the freedom to speak openly about these types of things? There may be posters that post stupid things, but if that's the case, just ignore them. There are many people who try to start a thread or respond to a thread only to find that it gets locked 10 minutes later and never even given a chance. I know they're trying to keep the forum clean and not out of hand, but it seems like there's too many posting restrictions. It's hard to speak about things that you might want to speak about.

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Wet Pussy
Waterlogged

Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:13 pm
Posts: 4200
Location: Pakistan
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:59 am 
 

Quote:
why are the mods not allowing people the freedom to speak openly about these types of things


Maybe because these types of things are irritating and are more suited to myspace blogs. Besides, this is a metal forum. Not an emo forum.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 7:16 am 
 

Allowing such a thread is possible, but your OP was not something we want here. It was essentially emoish weeping and teenage angst over a lost love, I read it. Maybe there was a deeper question embedded in it, but as a first post in a thread intended for a philosophical discussion on the relation of love and sex, it was NOT worthy.

Now, if you wish to have such a discussion, you may try, but make it sound a lot less emotional and hurt. If you essentially wish to have a hug and a shoulder to cry on and support from others instead of a discussion on serious issues without going the way of the emo, I suggest taking it elsewhere. If it gets sidetracked, I will lock it immediately, and I believe there are people with itchier trigger fingers than mine in this respect.

EDIT: I forgot... Freedom of Speech is NOT a part of the Metal Archives constitution. A lot of things are tolerated, but there is no such underlying principle here.
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ogmetal
Veteran of the Psychic Wars

Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:22 pm
Posts: 2876
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 7:27 pm 
 

Napero wrote:
If you essentially wish to have a hug and a shoulder to cry on and support from others instead of a discussion on serious issues without going the way of the emo, I suggest taking it elsewhere. If it gets sidetracked, I will lock it immediately, and I believe there are people with itchier trigger fingers than mine in this respect.


I totally agree...this kind of chatter seems more suited to a blog. People complain that we are censoring them...there is no censorship going on here. Discussion is GUIDED though.

People grow tired of emotional rants. There is a time and a place for shit like that and it should be with people you know. If you want opinions without the personal info, that's something totally different.
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agentsteel666
Yet Another Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:02 pm 
 

Ok so can I start a new thread about the relationship between love and sex and leave out all my personal experiences aside from a quick reference or two? I want it to be a discussion to help me learn and discover more about the topic.

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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:11 am 
 

If you're seeking wisdom on such a topic, it is in your better interest to seek elsewhere (where the mean age is out of the teens, and the populace is more accustomed to, experienced with, and skilled in expressing itself in regards to the subject). One doesn't go to a brothel to learn about love proper any more than one goes to a medical landfill to learn the finer points of juggling.

For a cross-generational demographic that seems to almost universally (and so vocally/frequently) pride itself on its worldliness, cultural savvy, down-to-earth-yet-piquantly-fresh values, and keen senses of both profound individuality and reverent plurality, it still manages to surprise me how many are inclined to act as though MA were the only viable website/online community/vehicle of expression to exist on the web. The internet is a vast place, and can offer most of you things that you will never find here in any significant capacity, if at all.
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