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DeathcoreDecimator
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:34 pm
Posts: 679
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:10 pm 
 

More or less. I've been doing what I've wanted to do within their constraints for the majority of my life, and only recently have I really begun to take charge of my own life. Unfortunately I've made a few decisions which now hold me back.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:16 pm 
 

Lots of people who venture out on their own make mistakes. You can't be expected to know everything immediately - and that goes for every aspect in life. If you're aware of the problems holding you back, you can take steps to eliminate them. That could be a project in 2016 for you. :)
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DeathcoreDecimator
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:34 pm
Posts: 679
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:25 pm 
 

You're right it's just very easy to lose focus, especially when the majority of your money goes to paying off loans and barely making a dent in them. I guess first world problems will be first world problems. Thanks for the encouraging words, everyone.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:48 pm 
 

It can be discouraging, but if you're making any kind of improvement on your debts, that has to be good. The end bliss will be worth all the pain now.

As for "first world problems," yeah, on a global scale they are, but they are your problems, and they are real for you. I have more to say on that issue, but I'll leave it there. :lol: Good luck to you, my friend.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:02 pm 
 

After three weeks of constant procrastination and anxiety, I finally called a sex therapist. I have to travel to Sydney since there's nobody of the sort in Wollongong, and I have to wait until February to get to my first appointment, but I have to do this. I have sexual anxiety so profound that it'll destroy any relationship I may have, and now that I'm a couple of months away from turning 30, this is beyond the joke now.

Does anyone else here have anything like this? Literally none of my friends have this problem and I feel like a bit of a freak. At my age I should be sexually experienced and promiscuous (or at least available) but I've completely missed out due to my fear of sex. Time to get it sorted.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:38 pm 
 

Never had a problem like that, but come on, I had a mortal fear of harmless eight-legged bugs, and you feel like a freak for a fear of the most intimate thing in the world? It makes a lot more sense to be scared of that than to be scared of the thousands of other things people are scared of. It's one of the most understandable anxieties I have ever heard. Might not help you with the anxiety itself, but maybe with the feeling like a freak.
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:52 pm 
 

^ Strongly disagree, and the poster above you is brave as all fark.

Many people have severe sexual anxieties, a LOT of my friends do, whether from abuse, overtly Christianised upbringing, whatever... it happens. All I can say in regards to it is, don't think that the promiscious people don't have it either. Some people fuck each other simply for self validation, there's no love or even things like friendship or attraction involved. The Peaches song "Fuck the Pain Away" sums that shit up real well. You're not "missing out" just because you have whatever you have going on.

Stay strong, and I hope you get whatever you need out of therapy.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:06 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
After three weeks of constant procrastination and anxiety, I finally called a sex therapist. I have to travel to Sydney since there's nobody of the sort in Wollongong, and I have to wait until February to get to my first appointment, but I have to do this. I have sexual anxiety so profound that it'll destroy any relationship I may have, and now that I'm a couple of months away from turning 30, this is beyond the joke now.

Does anyone else here have anything like this? Literally none of my friends have this problem and I feel like a bit of a freak. At my age I should be sexually experienced and promiscuous (or at least available) but I've completely missed out due to my fear of sex. Time to get it sorted.


Yes, horribly. Was a serious issue when I was in my relationship and likely was a contributing factor to being cheated on. If you can get that sorted out, more power to you. I couldn't bother nowadays but I know I'd have to be hopped up on some class of intoxicant to bridge my brutal self esteem and social struggles with the fairer sex.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:17 am 
 

How can you strongly disagree and say basically the same thing I was saying in the same post?
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:31 am 
 

droneriot wrote:
Never had a problem like that, but come on, I had a mortal fear of harmless eight-legged bugs, and you feel like a freak for a fear of the most intimate thing in the world? It makes a lot more sense to be scared of that than to be scared of the thousands of other things people are scared of. It's one of the most understandable anxieties I have ever heard. Might not help you with the anxiety itself, but maybe with the feeling like a freak.

Honestly? Yes, I do feel like a little bit of a freak. Luckily, virginity is easily disguised in normal life, but I know that any time the subject of women or sex arises, I have to either back out, or ask follow-up questions to other people to avoid me being in the spotlight. Less than a handful of my friends know about it. The ones that don't know try to set me up with women or whatever and I don't know how to politely say that I can't really undergo a relationship with this hanging over my head.

I guess it is understandable to have this kind of anxiety, since it's something that affects men and women around the world, but my knowledge based on the people I know means it's not normal. And that's just how I feel. It's something I thought would naturally dissipate over time (because I can only assume most people are nervous at around 15 or so), but 15 years later it just hasn't.

Back Stabbath wrote:
Many people have severe sexual anxieties, a LOT of my friends do, whether from abuse, overtly Christianised upbringing, whatever... it happens. All I can say in regards to it is, don't think that the promiscious people don't have it either. Some people fuck each other simply for self validation, there's no love or even things like friendship or attraction involved. The Peaches song "Fuck the Pain Away" sums that shit up real well. You're not "missing out" just because you have whatever you have going on.

Stay strong, and I hope you get whatever you need out of therapy.

I'd honestly take sex with no love if it meant dealing with the issue, haha. Sex can be used as a compensation for something but I seem to have gone the other way. Thanks, mate. :)

Diamhea wrote:
Yes, horribly. Was a serious issue when I was in my relationship and likely was a contributing factor to being cheated on. If you can get that sorted out, more power to you. I couldn't bother nowadays but I know I'd have to be hopped up on some class of intoxicant to bridge my brutal self esteem and social struggles with the fairer sex.

Really? I won't ask any details about what happened, but have you improved any since that time? You said you'd probably need alcohol to make it happen, but is that an improvement?

I feel like maybe I shouldn't bother, either, because singledom is pretty good, but on the same hand I still would like to experience sex. I've basically done everything else sexually except actual sex.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:41 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Really? I won't ask any details about what happened, but have you improved any since that time? You said you'd probably need alcohol to make it happen, but is that an improvement?


I don't drink. I just meant intoxicants in general, hehe. And that was a hypothetical observation, I haven't ever managed to put it into practice. I broke up with that girl January 2009, tried putting myself out there for about a year or so afterward with no success at all. Then I just sort of gave up, and that's more or less where I am today.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:46 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
Really? I won't ask any details about what happened, but have you improved any since that time? You said you'd probably need alcohol to make it happen, but is that an improvement?


I don't drink. I just meant intoxicants in general, hehe. And that was a hypothetical observation, I haven't ever managed to put it into practice. I broke up with that girl January 2009, tried putting myself out there for about a year or so afterward with no success at all. Then I just sort of gave up, and that's more or less where I am today.

Oh, right. Sorry, haha. So no luck on Tinder yet?
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:51 am 
 

I posted in the FFA earlier today.

Nothing yet and I've seriously tapped my immediate vicinity (pushed it to about 15 miles). I really hope I am just doing something wrong because this is shocking even for me. The app was introduced to me as a "hookup" facilitator but it looks like its the same old bullshit to me. No patience for these games anymore.

I've tried to come off as more approachable in public, or at the gym (which is maybe my best shot all things considered) - but 6 months in and I haven't managed to strike up a conversation with any ladies yet. Well, one asked me if I had 50 cents one day when I walked in cuz she was short on tanning lotion, but that's it. :P

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:57 am 
 

Sorry, I missed the FFA post.

I don't know what to tell you, mate. After all this time you should've had at least 1 match, so that is really strange. I think Tinder has the reputation of being a hook-up app but in reality most women on there are not looking for a one night stand (well, I did find a woman whose main photo was a topless shot, so there was that). Maybe push it out to 20 miles?

Striking up a conversation with a random woman is intensely difficult (again, it is for me due to anxiety, but maybe not so for others), so I applaud you for at least putting yourself out there and giving it a shot. Maybe that girl will ask for 50 cents again and you can try again. :P Otherwise, good luck to you with that. Hopefully you can get at least a bit of a conversation going - that would be an achievement in itself.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:00 am 
 

I was told to choose a good photo for the default and I chose this one even though its a few years old:

Spoiler: show
Image


20 miles is too far, 15 miles is even too far honestly. I think I'm either 1. up against serious competition, or 2. the field is watered down on the guys' end, or 3. I'm not doing something right about the way the profile is set up. Am I supposed to lie about my employment? Seems like most people have made up jobs but I defaulted it to just say the community college i attended.
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Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:05 am 
 

There's nothing wrong with that photo at all. It should be getting some hits.

You don't have to really write anything. Saying that you're a college student should be a positive. I can't comment on the competition but I can't imagine Detroit is full of Johnny Depp and Hugh Jackman types everywhere.

I don't really have any advice, even though I'm trying to help, haha.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:09 am 
 

Yeah dude I dunno. I'm nearing 30 so I want to try and enjoy this while I can, but hey I can do without - I have nearly all of my life


I'll keep you posted and just put my "Diamhea woes" in this thread because nobody else wants to hear it. I check the app every morning so I'll keep hammering at it.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:13 am 
 

Mate, I hear you. As a fellow nearly-30'er, I also want to enjoy it as much as possible, hence the sex therapy. I still go to nightclubs for that reason, even though I'm sure everyone thinks I'm that creepy old guy these days.

I want to hear it - I'm interested in seeing how this goes, so keep us updated. :)
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:29 am 
 

Bwahahaha!!! "Nearly 30'er" is old?!?!? Both me and Lemmy *shake our heads*. Oh, the yoof of today...

Re; my last post and your reply, you picked up on "sex without love" but missed "sex without attraction". See also "sex with only metal chicks grossly outnumbered by the vast majority of the dudefest" and "never picking up unless drunk". I'm not taking the piss, just kinda doing observational comedy.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:34 am 
 

Back Stabbath wrote:
Bwahahaha!!! "Nearly 30'er" is old?!?!? Both me and Lemmy *shake our heads*. Oh, the yoof of today...

Not old, but old in comparison to the 18-year-olds that frequent the clubs I occasionally go to. :P


Back Stabbath wrote:
Re; my last post and your reply, you picked up on "sex without love" but missed "sex without attraction". See also "sex with only metal chicks grossly outnumbered by the vast majority of the dudefest" and "never picking up unless drunk". I'm not taking the piss, just kinda doing observational comedy.

Ha, I see what you mean. :) But see, even that would be okay (to a point). I've even considered an escort. Seriously. I couldn't bring her to my place but to a hotel room, sure. It's just that I can't guarantee it'll work and I wouldn't want to waste her time and my money if I can't do it.

And it's hard to pick up even when I'm drunk. :lol:
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:54 pm 
 

I went to my first sex therapy session today. The woman is good at her job and easy to talk to. I didn't feel nervous around her, except when she was asking sexually specific questions. It turned out okay, and it's the first step to a hopefully successful sex life in my 30's. :)

I also can't get away with anything with her, which is a good thing. Keeps me on my toes. :)

Her: what are you studying at uni?
Me: Actually, I'm studying psychology. I feel like I want to help people that have gone through the garbage I have.
Her: Garbage? Do you want to rephrase that?
Me: Uhh...life experience?
Her: That's better. :)
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:09 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
I went to my first sex therapy session today. The woman is good at her job


While not mocking, you did walk right into that one.
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Expedience
Metal freak

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:22 am
Posts: 4509
PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 10:50 am 
 

You don't have to answer this Mikey, but why do you feel you need a sex therapist? This is very interesting to me.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:01 pm 
 

Back Stabbath wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
I went to my first sex therapy session today. The woman is good at her job


While not mocking, you did walk right into that one.

Haha, thanks. :lol:

Expedience wrote:
You don't have to answer this Mikey, but why do you feel you need a sex therapist? This is very interesting to me.

To put it bluntly, I'm a month away from turning 30 and I'm still a virgin. I have considerable and crippling anxiety when it comes to sex for reasons I can't pin down, so it's about time I do something about it if I ever want to have a successful relationship. :)
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Expedience
Metal freak

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:22 am
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:11 pm 
 

That makes sense. And I guess a woman is the best person to talk to about what women want when it comes to sex. I'll be damned if I know! :)

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:13 pm 
 

I actually prefer to talk to women about it, since I feel they'll be less judgemental (not that a male would be, either, but it's just easier for me to talk to females). The sessions are not cheap - $160 a pop - but I think it'll be worth it in the end. :)
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 11:10 am 
 

MikeyC, I grew up rurally. If you actually are from Broken Hill (which I dislike other than it being a great place to collect goat skulls) mayhaps come chill in Melbz. No one has heard of virginity here.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 7:52 pm 
 

I'm from Shellharbour, about 1.5 hours south of Sydney, 15-20 minutes south of Wollongong. Nothing rural about my location. :)

I've been to Melbourne many times (LOVE the drive there) to see friends. Hopefully I'll go back soon. The fact that there's lots of sexual opportunities there won't stop me from having anxiety, unfortunately. Maybe after some sessions with the sex therapist, I can try to push through whatever's causing it. :)
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 10:29 am 
 

I know Shelly (my first crush was from Tathra) so, um, yeah.

EDIT: That is Sydney, not south of it. Lived in Cronulla too. Sydney was okay in the 90's. Move dude, move.

I should have PM'd that. Back to our regular programming...
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IntenseHatred
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:47 pm
Posts: 376
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:03 pm 
 

I am a combat veteran of the United States. I am on a lot of stuff. The hardest part is all of the side effects, such a being tired/no energy. Its kind of a no win for me, either I have all of the issues associated with PTSD, or I walk around like a zombie most of the time. Another problem I have had is after some time certain medications have the complete opposite effect of what they are supposed to do. They can take you to a very dark place inside of yourself.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:52 pm 
 

Back Stabbath wrote:
I know Shelly (my first crush was from Tathra) so, um, yeah.

EDIT: That is Sydney, not south of it. Lived in Cronulla too. Sydney was okay in the 90's. Move dude, move.

I should have PM'd that. Back to our regular programming...

Tathra is hours away! :lol: That's way down the south coast and I'm not that far.

I don't particularly want to move, as the geographical proximity to Sydney is handy, plus the distance from Sydney means I'm not cramped in. I like the best of both worlds here. :)

IntenseHatred wrote:
I am a combat veteran of the United States. I am on a lot of stuff. The hardest part is all of the side effects, such a being tired/no energy. Its kind of a no win for me, either I have all of the issues associated with PTSD, or I walk around like a zombie most of the time. Another problem I have had is after some time certain medications have the complete opposite effect of what they are supposed to do. They can take you to a very dark place inside of yourself.

Sorry to hear that, man. There's a lot of issues with veterans having PTSD - for good reason, too - and the inaccessibility of services to combat them. I don't really have any advice but hopefully it'll all be okay in time. :)
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 5:52 am 
 

Sometimes I can almost have normal conversations with my paranoid schizophrenic friend. But not for long.

"Hey."
"Hi!"
"How are you today?"
"I'm fine, and you?"
"Okay, just a bit tired, had a few cups of coffee but still feel like I'm half asleep."
"Haha, yeah, I know the feeling."
"It's the chemtrails, they are spraying barium to control us and it makes you lethargic."
"Oh for fuck's sake..."
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IntenseHatred
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:47 pm
Posts: 376
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:15 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Back Stabbath wrote:
I know Shelly (my first crush was from Tathra) so, um, yeah.

EDIT: That is Sydney, not south of it. Lived in Cronulla too. Sydney was okay in the 90's. Move dude, move.

I should have PM'd that. Back to our regular programming...

Tathra is hours away! :lol: That's way down the south coast and I'm not that far.

I don't particularly want to move, as the geographical proximity to Sydney is handy, plus the distance from Sydney means I'm not cramped in. I like the best of both worlds here. :)

IntenseHatred wrote:
I am a combat veteran of the United States. I am on a lot of stuff. The hardest part is all of the side effects, such a being tired/no energy. Its kind of a no win for me, either I have all of the issues associated with PTSD, or I walk around like a zombie most of the time. Another problem I have had is after some time certain medications have the complete opposite effect of what they are supposed to do. They can take you to a very dark place inside of yourself.

Sorry to hear that, man. There's a lot of issues with veterans having PTSD - for good reason, too - and the inaccessibility of services to combat them. I don't really have any advice but hopefully it'll all be okay in time. :)

Thank you. I just went and got my meds readjusted by a Dr. on Monday, so hopefully things will turn around. I was seeing a therapist, but she went into another field. The office set me up with a new appointment with a man in the office, but I never went back. I have a thing about seeing women only. Just more comforting to me I guess. The toughest part is keeping up the "I'm ok" façade. You have to be strong for your family or for work. You can't quit on your family and you have to get up and every day and go to work. You fool everyone, but inside you are just a complete wreck. It's not ok with your average person if you are depressed and just a wreck inside, so you have to pretend like everything ok, but it isn't.
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IntenseHatred
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:47 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:21 am 
 

Also on that note I feel like people get tired of hearing your same old problems. I guess I understand. I would get tired of someone for years and years saying I'm having a really shitty day. I'm really down today. Even my wife. You would think she would be the one person to understand, but years of dealing with me has taken a toll on her. So I just say I'm ok, when really I'm not. Nobody wants to listen to the same old problems, over and over. It's tough to keep it bottled up inside all the time, but who wants to be around a depressed guy all the time. So I fool people with humor and just keep pretending everything is ok.
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Expedience
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Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:22 am
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:44 am 
 

IntenseHatred wrote:
The toughest part is keeping up the "I'm ok" façade. You have to be strong for your family or for work. You can't quit on your family and you have to get up and every day and go to work.


Why?

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IntenseHatred
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:57 am 
 

Expedience wrote:
IntenseHatred wrote:
The toughest part is keeping up the "I'm ok" façade. You have to be strong for your family or for work. You can't quit on your family and you have to get up and every day and go to work.


Why?

They depend on me to support them. Disability doesn't pay enough to live on. I already get partial disability and it isn't much. Well at least not to live in New Jersey.
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Expedience
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:05 am 
 

What I mean is, why do you feel you have to do it? It sounds like you care about them enough to want to do those things for them. It must be a huge burden to think you're doing it because you have to.

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IntenseHatred
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:18 am 
 

Expedience wrote:
What I mean is, why do you feel you have to do it? It sounds like you care about them enough to want to do those things for them. It must be a huge burden to think you're doing it because you have to.

Sorry I misunderstood you. I feel like I have to do it because I have been given the position of leader in relation to family. Everyone is counting on me to be strong and not to falter. Everyone counts on me to be the strong one in any situation. They all knew me when I was a great leader in the military, now I am just a fragile eggshell. Its hard to truly explain, but everyone still looks to me at home or at work, to be the cement that holds it all together.
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GuiltySpawn
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Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:06 pm
Posts: 134
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 11:58 am 
 

I feel that I have a mental disability due to my depression and anxiety.

There's something that I want to bring up and I was wondering if anyone had a response to it. So, it seems to me, that in order to live a healthy, happy, successful life, the only route you can take is one that involves a huge amount of pain and suffering along the way. Every single time I try to better my life, it just feels like I have to put myself through unbearable pain that I just can't deal with. I try to better my life by eating properly and exercising, but for me exercise can be excruciatingly painful. Other people say that they enjoy it. I just can't comprehend how people can enjoy it and I wish I could have that mentality. For me, exercise makes my heart feel like it will burst out of my chest, my lungs feel like exploding, and my muscles are in extreme soreness and pain. How does anyone enjoy this feeling? Yet this is supposed to be a healthy activity that should feel good. This is not the only area in life that is unbearably difficult for me to be successful in. It feels like everything I try to do is extremely painful and insufferable. I blame this on my depression, which I consider a mental illness.

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IntenseHatred
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:47 pm
Posts: 376
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 1:45 pm 
 

GuiltySpawn wrote:
I feel that I have a mental disability due to my depression and anxiety.

There's something that I want to bring up and I was wondering if anyone had a response to it. So, it seems to me, that in order to live a healthy, happy, successful life, the only route you can take is one that involves a huge amount of pain and suffering along the way. Every single time I try to better my life, it just feels like I have to put myself through unbearable pain that I just can't deal with. I try to better my life by eating properly and exercising, but for me exercise can be excruciatingly painful. Other people say that they enjoy it. I just can't comprehend how people can enjoy it and I wish I could have that mentality. For me, exercise makes my heart feel like it will burst out of my chest, my lungs feel like exploding, and my muscles are in extreme soreness and pain. How does anyone enjoy this feeling? Yet this is supposed to be a healthy activity that should feel good. This is not the only area in life that is unbearably difficult for me to be successful in. It feels like everything I try to do is extremely painful and insufferable. I blame this on my depression, which I consider a mental illness.

If you have depression for an extended period of time and if you have anxiety/panic attacks there is a good chance you have some sort of mental illness. The only real way to find out is to see a professional. If you are having these problems, I recommend seeing someone if you are able to.
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