Feeling worthless and suicidal is still there, it's just kept on hold for the time being. It's like Varg Vikernes in prison, kept there to shut up for the time he's there, but at the same time plotting and working on all the ways to come back out twice as dangerous. It's best to not keep these things on the back shelf to deal with later, they'll linger and keep growing while forced in hiding in the back of the head, problems do not go away by pretending they do with the help of drugs, and once they come back with a bang you'll ask yourself if the artificial positive mental state was worth that.

Alright, I can get that, but this is how I feel about it. A lot of people use a drowing metaphor when explaing how depression feels. Not a bad analogy and it's one I can relate to. If we can run with that idea, then I view medication as 'floaties'. Dunno if that's a universal term, but I'm talking about those little arm balloon things that you put on kids learning to swim. They, in themselves, don't teach you to swim, but they will help prevent you from drowing while you acquire the skills to swim for yourself. As you put together those skills, you'll need them less and less and you can start to reduce your dosage (or air in the floaties I guess...). No doctor I've ever spoken to has advised stopping medication all at once and if you do, then yes; all your problems are probably gonna rush back to you. It's a gradual process and any doctor worth their salt will advise that you build on other skills (CBT, meditation, excercise, proper diet etc) while you are on medication.

Also, I resent the idea that they induce an artifical mental state. It's pretty well accepted that mental disorders (maybe not all, but many) are chemical imbalances in the brain. Medication will put those imbalances right. It's like saying that diabetics are inducing an artifical physical state by using insulin and if they stopped using, their well being wasn't worth their dependence on the substance becuase the illness will just take over again.

That said, I don't see why you would ever have to stop. I plan to one day, I'm doing far better now than I was years ago, but I know someone who has used medication for 30 years and they happily say it's worth it. They don't ever plan to stop because they know they can maintain a positive life with the medication. Who are you to say what they are doing is wrong? Mental health is incredibly subjective and different people find different ways to deal with it.

If you can maintain mental health without meds, good for you. In fact, I would encourage anyone who is able to do that to take that route, but I'm also not gonna get judgey if people need or just plain want to treat themselves with meds. It's their life, their mental health and I'm not gonna stand in the way of somebody's happiness.

Side note; taking away the license of any doctor who prescribes psych meds will put pretty much all doctors out of a job. You gotta realise that's absurd.

I don't want to run my mouth on something I don't wholly understand, but the impression I've got from the way these drugs work is that they don't correct the chemical imbalances caused by mental illness, but they offset the effects by having a contrary effect on themselves. That's why they don't provide a long-term solution for correcting the underlying problem, but can provide the necessary mental framework for the patient to be able to mend it, with the assistance of therapy.

Another impression I have is that mental illnesses are still not understood as well and comprehensively as most physical illnesses, and the mechanisms behind each individual's suffering are relatively quite unique. There most likely isn't a catch-all method for curing mental illnesses. It's excellent when people find a cure for their illness, but they should probably have a little restraint in running around telling everyone that only the method they found effective is legitimate. Not all treatments cure the illness, but one of the essential factors in treatment for mental illness is that the patient feels that they're receiving meaningful treatment.

I didn't think that through well enough, you are more likely closer to the truth than I. That said, I will state again that I know someone personally who has relied on meds for decades and say they intend to continue that. I also know there are many other people out there with the same attitude. It might not 'cure' the underlying issue, but it allows certain people to fucntion when they feel they wouldn't be able to otherwise.


I'm in total agreement with this. I don't advocate meds as the one and only way. There are many different approaches that can be used individually or in a combination. Combination is generally the best bet. My beef is when people completely write off medication in regards to mental health treatment. They are basically doing what you said, running their mouths off saying "I did it without meds, which means that everybody else should do it without meds too!". I will say again; if you can manage your mental health without medication, there is no reason to take any. Although I find it a very dangerous sentiment to demonise psych medication. It's an integral part to many, not all, but many people's recovery.

It's pretty well-established that the "chemical imbalance" is a bogus guesstimate with no scientific evidence to back it up. Because of the blood-brain barrier we can't take blood samples and see what chemicals are present in your brain and in what quantities, we don't even know what the correct "chemical balance" in the brain is, or even if there is one.

About that last part in the last post, psych medication are an integral part to many, nearly all people's prolonged suffering and non-recovery, first of course because people shift responsibility away from themselves looking for an easy outside fix, second because these medications not only cause all kinds of havoc with your brain chemistry by randomly messing with it with next to no scientific understanding behind it, but also because of the all kinds of havoc they cause in the rest of your body because they screw over your entire body chemistry. If there is a "chemical imbalance", no worse idea than random chemistry experiments on the body.

Best way to deal with a mess is to clean it up, not to bury it in a bigger mess so you can't see it anymore.

Hopefully my quoting your post there didn't give the false impression that the second part of my post was strictly pointed at you. While it wasn't aimed at anyone specifically, it was, if anything, a response to droneriot categorically dismissing medication as viable treatment for mental illness.

I can see you're not budging on this. I'll agree to disagree and don't want to get too heated; but you're a lone wolf here. You're disagreeing with an entire branch of medical science and I hope other's don't take you seriously.

Ah you hope people don't take their recovery seriously and instead choose to continue let poorly researched pharmaceutical experiments ruin their already fragile health. A bit sick, but go ahead and agree to disagree. I for my part hope that people don't get too lost on questionable quick fixes and start digging themselves out of their holes instead, because life is too short to spend years or decades as a "mentally ill person."

"Chemical imbalance" isn't actually a neurophysiological theory and you won't see it in any textbook, it's more of a layman's description of mental illness.

What I find odd about your argument is that you encourage people to pull themselves out of depression, yet what is it that is ultimately doing that? Brain chemistry.

I have found that the anti-med people often don't believe it has to do with brain chemistry, and think you can just will your way out.

As a counterexample, I always talk about my cousin. Paranoid schizophrenic. When he's on meds, he can hold a job, doesn't hear voices, isn't violent, can have a normal conversation.

When not on his meds, he can't hold a job or keep an apartment, he hears voices, he is very violent and paranoid, can't even have a conversation with him.

So I can't really believe that meds are "ruining" his life, brain, or body. It would seem that they are improving his life in multiple ways, even if they have side effects.

Yes, he's an extreme example, but you need that sometimes to make a point. Meds are not an "easy way out," they don't mean you are "weak," they are just an attempt to level the playing field. People against meds seem to act like mentally ill persons should just suffer and "suck it up." Why? If they make an informed decision about the pros and cons of meds, I think they should do what they think is best, just like I think a person with a broken arm shouldn't have to "suck it up," and can take some painkillers while it heals.

That being said, I don't take meds anymore, but I am bipolar type I and I enjoy the manic episodes too much to want to level things out.

Nice strawman, dude. What about those who successfully "recover" while using medication? It's easy to say that people use medication as an easy fix and end up never building a meaningful or healthy life for themselves, and I'm sure that happens, but who is to say that these people would recover without the medication? Personally, I don't think it follows that, on the whole, medication is the barrier to their recovery. You could just as easily find examples of medication helping people, whether it's the medication or the perception of effective treatment. Whatever works.

What PvtNinjer said, and also, if a medication causes side-effects a person can't deal with or "ruins their health," that would be the time to stop it. You always have a choice (unless you're locked up against your will for being a danger to yourself or others). You can always say "no, this isn't worth it," as with any med.

I don't think anyone is saying meds cure everything and have no side effects, just that they are another option that people might consider.

Sometimes I just feel like I can't fit in anywhere. Which is not that bad. People can be so cruel towards someone who is ill. Even amongst you metalheads, I feel different. I have no friends so it's hard talking about my problems. The thoughts that go through my mind are terrible. I don't have a lot of things but MA is just wonderful to me. I don't think my life would be the same, if MA didn't exist. MA is just full of intelligent people who have great taste in metal.

A class action lawsuit was actually filed against Pfizer some years ago for their Zoloft commercials that claimed depression was do to a chemical imbalance and to fix it you needed Zoloft. (Remember those bouncing anthropomorphic egg commercials?) Their rebuttal was that they were trying to simplify it for the average person. No idea how the case ended but it was definitely a bullshit tactic.

However, medication can be incredibly important in treating illnesses, both mental and physical. Telling someone with a mental illness not to take medications that can help them and prevent worsening symptoms is as stupid as telling someone with HIV not to take medication to keep their condition from progressing to full blown AIDS. Taking Wellbutrin for my depression is as beneficial as taking Hyzaar for my hypertension. Medication isn't beneficial on its own, you still need therapy and lifestyle changes, but it's still a vital component of your treatment plan. If a medication isn't working or if side effects are too harsh, speak up, advocate for yourself, and work with your doctor to find something that works. Sometimes that could be a lower or higher dose of something you already take, sometimes it may be something new. Have a civil discussion with your doctor and find solutions. (And for fuck's sake, do NOT stop meds on your own. There's a reason it's advised against. Some medications can have horrible effects if you quit "cold turkey". Follow the guidelines for the sake of your own health.)

Keep in mind, however, that with mental illnesses, like many physical illnesses, you need more than medication. Therapy and life changes will help immensely as well. In some cases the changes you make in your life can help you eventually get off meds. But don't just rely on therapy if you need meds, and don't just take meds when you also need therapy.

I feel I should mention my experience with this. I was diagnosed with major depression and borderline personality disorder and floundered for years due to living situations and relying on medication more than therapy. My living situation has changed so that I'm no longer living with the abuse from someone with narcissistic personality disorder, I cut ties with someone who was incredibly toxic to my mental health, I put more focus on therapy and lifestyle changes, and while my situation is not yet where I want it to be, the changes I've made have improved my mental health to the point that the borderline personality disorder diagnosis has been removed entirely. The only issues now are major depression and hypertension, both of which are well under control and likely won't remain issues for long.

TL;DR: take meds, get therapy, improve your life, and don't ignore any tool that can help you get stable and content

I've had extreme social anxiety for my entire life, it has hindered my progress as a human being. I go through phases where I can deal with it and socialize a little bit, but after awhile it all builds up in my head, I can't turn my brain off. So I crash and hide away for months at a time. It was so bad when I was younger that I missed out on a ton of things in my childhood, I didn't drink until i was 19, that's also when I first smoked weed. I never got laid until I was 21. Most wouldn't believe me because I am somewhat attractive and likeable. Even though I'm most comfortable alone, I somehow felt I had missed out, like everyone was having a grand ol' time without me while i was shut in my room. So I went overboard with parties, and smoking and drinking. I was smoking several bowls a day for about 2 years, even while at work. (easy to do in the soul-sucking fast food industry) It eventually started wreaking havoc on my anxiety, making it worse and worse. But i would pretend to be OK because I had somehow taken on the roll of the mellow stoner, even though that wasn't me at all.


I eventually felt like i was living a lie, nobody knew the real me. I would wallow in misery alone in my room for hours and hours, days and days. I had too much time to think about everything. The universe and our place in it. This led to an existential depression of massive proportions. this lasted for about 2 years. I stopped seeing the point in everything. I then had a total collapse and didn't hang out with any of my friends for about 3 months. and drank alone almost every night. I was openly depressed at work, just a shell, sometimes going all day without speaking which is actually an impressive feat in the retardedly high energy fast food industry.

I don't know, I haven't smoked in 1.5 years and i rarely drink now. I'm back to my anti-social ways but I'm better off. I've maintained about 2 or 3 friends who saw me through my depression, as well as my girlfriend. I still feel depressed and haven't amounted to anything but I'm semi-OK with it. I stopped going on facebook so much because its just pathetic, as everyone around me is a train wreck. I need to get out of here, but my anxiety prevents me from leaving the comfort of my depressed bubble. I live in a small shit town with meat headed people, I'm definitely an outlier and can't relate to much of anyone. It gets lonely.

I definitely haven't painted the full scope but I'm so damn tired, I don't know how to explain it properly. I don't want medication, partly because I don't like the idea of being chained to them, and partly because I don't want to decrease my sex drive. I just don't want to put in the effort to talk to a doctor either. I'm still trying to pretend like I'm ok even though I'm not. I just don't want to open that can of worms.

That's pretty cool (the last part). When I started reading your post, I literally thought it was a post I made. I am in the same boat. Although I used to try, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere either. I gave up. My own issues destroyed the friends I had a year or so ago. I actually have no friends. I went back to Facebook, to so I could at least try and have someone to talk to. It doesn't really work, because nobody wants to hear your sob stories all of the time. It's really been tough though. I really don't know how someone in solitary confinement can do it. I have two dogs, which do help, but its not the same as having that friendship with another person.

Don't rely solely on the internet for making friends. You really need to get out in person. Depending on where you live there may be a county/community mental health center where you can go for therapy and med services, including group therapy where you can meet people going through the same thing AND get out of the house a bit.

Also, think about your interests. Like woodworking? Look for a class. Want to knit? Look for a local knitting group to learn and hang out. Want to learn a language? Look for a language class in your area. (They're not always expensive. There's a "lifelong learning" center at the local university here that offers Spanish classes for $80 for a three month course.) Find something to do that interests you AND allows you to meet new people.

And yes, you'll drive people away if you're constantly talking/posting "sob stories". It is also incredibly detrimental to your own mental health. Steer conversations towards things that interest you, toss in some jokes (everyone loves *good* jokes), and be friendly in general. You'll meet people, you'll feel better about yourself over time, and you'll lose that feeling of being in solitary confinement. Save the "sob stories" for a time when your new friends are closer and sharing their own or in group therapy settings. Eventually you'll have far more to talk about anyway if you get yourself out there.

Being "chained" to medication isn't a horrible thing. If you had diabetes would you let yourself die because you don't want to be "chained" to insulin? My guess is you'd take the insulin. There's is absolutely NO shame in needing antidepressants. As for sex drive, that's a problem with SSRIs and SNRIs, and some SARIs, but not with other classes of antidepressants like tricyclics. Wellbutrin is a class unto itself, somewhat related to amphetamines, and is used for combating sexual dysfunction caused by other antidepressants as well as smoking cessation and is being studied as a weight loss drug.

There's no shame in talking to a doctor. There's no shame in asking for help. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means you recognize there's a problem and you're actively trying to fix it instead of letting it consume you. Find a doctor, find a therapist, get help, improve your life. In the long term you'll be glad you did. (If you need help finding free/sliding-scale mental healthcare and you're in the US, PM me. I can help you find services.)

Also, find ways to be productive as best you can, get out in the community with classes or volunteering, and try to live your life. Don't let depression fuck with your head. Depression is like an abusive parent/significant other. It wants you to flounder, it wants you to be dependent on it. Don't let it. Reach out for help, get out in the world, and live your life and utilize ANY tool available to you. You can do this. Get out there and take your life back.

I'm about to graduate with my Masters in Psych, just interviewed for a PhD, currently doing therapy with students at my college. I'm a firm believer in neuroplasticity, or whatever you want to call it--the ability of people to bounce back, doesn't have to be conceptualized biologically. Medication can help, although in my mind it's certainly best utilized short-term in conjunction with therapy, lifestyle changes, etc. The chemical imbalance myth is patently untrue, but in spite of that it can obviously boost neurotransmitter and help to relieve some of the immediate symptoms of things like anxiety and depression. Well, anxiety is more complicated, because some anxiety meds are horribly addictive (benzos). Anti-depressants can help with anxiety as well though.

Have suffered from social anxiety and some depression for many years, speaking within that linguistic paradigm (I typically prefer not to). I took Celexa (hated it) and then Wellbutrin for a while at one of the lowest points, when I was working at a call center. Flirted with benzos for a year or so as well. Applied for disability around age 17 because I figured my social anxiety would totally prevent me from working and stuff. I don't take anything now, except for phenibut 1-2x per week for anxiety, mainly to help with the adjustment of doing therapy with people, which is pretty stressful/scary. I got to this point through a lot of positive relationships and friendships including several therapists from around age 19 (I'm 27 at the moment), as well as being curious and trying new things (carefully) even if they scared the shit out of me. Just a caveat, I had a pretty isolated and anxious/depressed adolescence, but I didn't have it bad as some people (including people in this thread). No shame in being where you are. I'm still terrified of some things that a lot of other people find benign.

A good therapist + careful exposure in the case of anxiety and searching for meaning in the case of depression (there's a reason I was super depressed working at a call center--finding something that you care about/that seems worth devoting your time and energy toward is really great) are great starts to getting away from the paralysis, in addition to forming connections with good people. Obviously all of the above is difficult if you're at the bottom of the barrel, which is where I see medication (hopefully in conjunction with therapy) being helpful. Personally speaking, Buddhism and mindfulness have helped me a bunch too. This is a great book that started me on that trip:

https://www.amazon.com/Thoughts-Without ... _1?ie=UTF8

I'd also recommend this (somewhat dense) book for anyone interested in more symbolic understandings of mental illness, escaping the medical model (which in my mind is sparse on the meaning and not terribly helpful compared to some other approaches):

https://www.amazon.com/Re-Visioning-Psy ... ks&ie=UTF8

I've actually done some research on metal from this kind of "archetypal" (influenced by Carl Jung) perspective.

For some conditions, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, medication is incredibly necessary. It's not always necessary long term for depression and anxiety but for some situations it is incredibly necessary. Long term medication is even necessary for major depression and anxiety in some people for reasons that aren't well understood yet. Some people NEED the medication but are impressionable and seeing people like you and droneriot posting that meds can be disregarded could have a devastating impact on their lives and the lives of the people around them if they're in a position where meds are critical. Highly irresponsible of someone studying to psychology to say meds aren't always vital not knowing the mental health of the people who might read/hear what you're saying.

One of the most effective treatments for schizophrenia has actually been demonstrated to be Open Dialogue, which often involves in-home treatment, collaborative efforts between patient/family members/psychologists, etc:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hi ... healthcare

"The development of Open Dialogue is linked to evidence of its superiority to normal treatment of acute psychosis. After 5 years (1992–1997) of Open Dialogue treatment in Lapland, 81 % of participants had no remaining psychotic symptoms and 81% had returned to full employment. Only 35 % had used antipsychotic drugs (Seikkula et al., 2006). Similar results emerged from Tornio between 2003 and 2005. In the UK, only 20% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia would be expected to be symptom free after 5 years, with close to 100% of all patients with psychosis receiving antipsychotics."

Some practitioners of Open Dialogue are actually a bit anti-medication, others (since it's come to the U.S. in particular) are less opposed. Unfortunately, OD is still new to the U.S. healthcare system despite its demonstrated efficacy, so it's difficult for many people to receive that kind of help, yet. There's also some good, more conventional therapeutic work that's been done with psychosis by people like George Atwood, but again that kind of treatment is probably difficult to find.

Medication is complicated and I'd be doing a disservice to people by painting it in black and white. In the current sociopolitical/economic/etc structures we live under, it may be true that medication is basically necessary for some level of functionality, for some people in some situations. I'm not telling anyone to stop taking meds or to not seek out meds if they feel they could benefit from them--I never said they can be "disregarded." Certainly if you have severe problems and medication is helping you, or you think it might help, keep taking it/give it a shot. Like I mentioned, I've used them when I was at a really low point, and they did help me in some ways.

That link on "Open Dialogue" lacks a LOT of information. It doesn't specify the subtypes of schizophrenia/psychosis involved in studies. It also states that it involves the patient's extended family in the system which means it's not going to be particularly helpful for a lot of mentally ill people as so many are alienated from their families because of their illnesses. (And speaking from experience, a good portion of my issues stems from mentally abusive family members/significant others in my life so this approach would not have worked at all if I were suffering from psychosis or otherwise eligible for Open Dialogue.)

There's others in this thread stating people should stop taking medication and irks me to no end as it's so often vital for people to take their medication and someone reading this thread could see such statements and apply it not only to psychiatric medication but ALL medication. A diabetic stopping their medication and/or insulin and blood testing because they're mentally ill or otherwise impressionable and saw someone advocate for ceasing medication could die from heeding the inappropriate "advice". If this thread is to keep going as a support for mentally ill people in this community then it's up to us to make sure we're not only supportive of each other but also not potentially causing harm.

(Also, any mods/admins reading this: Perhaps, if possible, put a link somewhere on each page of this thread to global suicide hotlines/chat services and resources like RAINN just in case?)

The link wasn't meant to be a comprehensive review, if you want more information, check out the Finnish studies it references. One of the cool things about OD is its flexibility. If a person has abusive family members (many people with severe mental illness do), they're not going to include them. They may include other people in your social circles such as friends, significant others etc. It's fundamentally about being more systemic/holistic, enlisting the aid of other relevant people in the patient's life and stuff.

Not everyone with mental illness has a social circle to draw upon. At the county mental health center there are a LOT of severely mentally ill patients who are on their own with only the staff and perhaps a DHR social worker to rely on. It's incredibly heartbreaking to see. There's attempts to include them in community activities and group therapy, and a program set up for independent living where the county pays for their apartment and refers them to services such as vocational rehab for jobs, but for so many with severe mental illness there's really not a support network for them to rely on outside of the mental health care services. A lot of families will abandoned those with severe mental illnesses and those same illnesses are a hindrance to developing friendships. OD is not going to help those people. It may work well in a socialist-like society such as Finland but it's not necessarily going to translate well in a culture like that in the US, not to mention that the US has over 320 million people and Finland has a population slightly larger than the state of Alabama.

OD works with what's there. In the case of absolutely no family/social support (I'm aware that's a really tragic aspect of many people's lives who suffer from psychosis; I worked in community mental health), an emphasis will still be put on things like including the patient in the recovery process, respecting their autonomy, collaboration and respect between patient and caregivers, etc...very stark differences between that and community mental health, at least where I worked, which was a nationally recognized center. The relationship between the patients and staff was alienating and dehumanizing a lot of the time, even though they had group and individual therapy and many well-intentioned and compassionate clinicians working there. Simply not enough funding and not enough education on the most effective methods of treatment for severe mental illness (including infrastructure of the facilities themselves).

The U.S. certainly poses new challenges to the model compared to Finland, but work is already underway. This website has some good info:

http://www.dialogicpractice.net/

I know there's a center in Atlanta collaborating with Emory, I would have possibly worked with them for my clinical practicum if I hadn't gotten in to where I am. My point with all this was that there are options for treatment on the horizon that we haven't fully explored yet in the U.S. and that those options are forcing us to reconsider the idea that some mental illnesses are untreatable. We don't have the best mental healthcare possible--at least, not if you can't pay for a fancy residential center. Hopefully things will change.

I seem to suffer from a mental illness where my mind can't seem to distinguish between the concepts of "effort" and "pain". Every time I ever put effort forth in life it feels painful, and every time I'm in pain I am convinced that it means I am putting forth maximum effort.

I feel that I am exerting an insane amount of effort to do what I feel is the right thing, and I feel it is very important for others to acknowledge that effort.

I definitely have tried making friends in other places in other places other than internet. I have zero problems talking to complete strangers out in public. I am damaged goods and I feel like people can see that. I try to hide it, but I think at this point its impossible for me. Its become futile and frustrating and I have completely given up on trying to make friends. I don't like it this way, but I'm starting to feel unfortunately this is the way it is. Its something though that haunts me as I lay in bed at night. 5, 10, 20 years from now is this how its going to be. Work, come home and watch tv until bedtime. It doesn't help any.

Do you have specific examples of what you mean? I would like to understand.

Take working out for example. I find it extremely uncomfortable to push myself as hard as I can. It feels like I'm over exerting myself which can cause extreme stress and lead to a mental breakdown.

Actually come to think of it it's probably perfectly normal to equate the effort in working out with a feeling of pain. But still some people have it much easier. They can push themselves hard and ENJOY it. How I wish I could feel that way. I don't understand it.

Wasn't even that long ago, but we've already been on the subject of people assuming they have it worse than others. If you think people have it much easier, maybe you just watch people on TV too much and don't talk to real people enough. What you describe is what pretty much everyone experiences, mental illness or no.

From what I read, 1 in 4 Americans suffer from some form of mental illness. That means that 75%, the majority, do not suffer the way we in the 25% suffer. That leads me to believe that yes, most people do have it much easier. Is my reasoning wrong?

I don't think so. My anxiety was so bad yesterday that I couldn't leave my house. I wanted to. The thought of going out gave me an anxiety attack. That's not normal. Someone who doesn't understand would say well just go out, but its not that easy.

it "is", kind of. weird way to put this question, anyway.
not trying to belittle anyone's medical condition here, but it's hard to speak "objectively" of human suffering, because it's such a highly subjective issue. maybe someone is so badly crossed in love that it completely incapacitates them to the point of losing their job, not being able to go go out etc, while people with whatever kind of personality disorder may be functional enough to lead a fulfilling life.
my point being, there's so incredibly many variables here in this equation, I find it hard to say, the 25% or whatever with a diagnosed mental disorder definitely suffer more than the rest. also, what about physical illnesses?

I suppose you could pretty objectively say my cousin with schizophrenia is dealing with more severe mental illness than most people, but as you said, you can't quantify "how bad someone has it" in any real way, and you would have to also take into account physical injuries/illness, things like bad luck, financial problems, natural disasters that impact a person's life, deaths in the family, and, one I think most people forget, the fact that different people's pain threshhold or reactions to negative events differs depending on the person. (If both of us stub our toe in the same way, maybe it bothers me more if I'm especially wimpy about pain.)


IIRC, people were talking about sometimes feeling they had it worse, or feeling people didn't understand them, which is different than objectively stating everyone has it better. I would imagine most people, mentally ill or not, have had that feeling at one point or another. It's only a problem if you think you're objectively correct (rather than it being a subjective and probably irrational feeling) and go out telling other people it's a fact.

Usually people suffer more the harder they try to convince themselves that they suffer and usually people have it harder the harder they try to convince themselves that they have it hard. Over the years I've seen people obsess over the mental illness subject to ridiculous degree, to the point that I started to really believe there's a new form of hypochondriasis in there, where people obsess over mental illnesses they may have rather than physical illness. I wish more people realised that when they're in the deep hole, the best solution isn't to grab a shovel and start digging. I wish more people realised how true "it's all in your head" actually is, because you're basically fine, you just think/feel/act like you're not, and you can actually think/feel/act as fine as you are if that's what you train your mind to do rather than thinking of a thousand ways to convince yourself how sick and suffering you are.

(Note that I say the last part after years of rigorous cognitive behavioral therapy, not saying anything about snapping the finger and all is good.)

Mental illness is incredibly underdiagnosed/misdiagnosed and is a major taboo in the US so getting accurate numbers is hard. It's the same with other taboo issues, such as sexual assault. Most victims don't come forward out of fear, shame, and stigma so, just as with mental illness, there's a "best guess" of 1 in 4 when the reality could be 1 in 2 or 1 in 100, no one knows for certain because of the taboo. That's something our society really, really needs to work on.

That said, mental illness doesn't necessarily make your life harder or worse. Sociopaths can be incredibly successful to the point that sociopathic tendencies are common amongst C-level executives (CEOs, CFOs, etc.) Some personality disorders are incredibly common as well. Hell, we have a president who displays hallmark traits of narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of successful, famous artists, actors, musicians, and writers suffer or suffered from depression. Mental illness doesn't always cause you to suffer and suffering isn't exclusive to mental illness. Sometimes you just get dealt a bad hand in life or make poor choices, or both, that lead to you living a life that isn't fulfilling to you.

Find something you truly want to do, research it, and make a plan/outline/list of what it would take to achieve it. You may find that there's a lot in your power to do that would make you feel more fulfilled and content with your life. (Don't get caught up on the myth of happiness. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. What you need to focus on is being content with your life.)



What you just said is a hallmark statement of depression. Depression is an abusive family member that also happens to be your conjoined twin and it's always whispering in your ear that things are hopeless, that you're useless, that you're ugly, that nothing will get better. Don't listen to it. Tell it to fuck off. Make a plan to get out in the world and actually do it. Tell yourself that it will get better any time you feel like things are hopeless.

Got a job? Have any coworkers that you are on good terms with? Try to make plans with them to hang out sometime. Maybe invite people over for dinner and drinks and a movie at home. Any hobbies? Find a local group that meets up or find a place where you can set up such a group and use forums or craigslist to get it set up and going. No hobby? Get one. Incidentally, hobbies can be incredibly beneficial to your mental health. Find something you're interested in and find groups or just friends with the same interest and who can help you learn. I knit and it's incredibly satisfying for me. I get a hobby to focus on that I can do while I'm watching TV, sitting in a waiting room, or hanging out with friends (knitting and death metal with a glass of wine or a beer can be a lot of fun). I also get a finished project that I can use or give to my daughter (she loves handmade socks). It's definitely beneficial to my mental health. It may not be something you're interested in but any hobby can have the same effect and finding a group of people to hang out with in person who share your interests can make it easier to form friendships.

Also, please look for local CBT/DBT groups or therapists that you can afford in your area (there are free groups and/or sliding scale clinics in some areas). It can help a lot with banishing depressive thoughts. PM me if you need help finding groups in your area of the US. I use those types of services myself.

Look into relevant books as well. You may find these helpful:

You Are a Badass https://smile.amazon.com/You-Are-Badass ... 1_1&sr=8-1

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook https://smile.amazon.com/Dialectical-Be ... g=UTF8&me= (I actually use this one with my therapist)

And you may find this amusing/helpful for mindfulness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY (There's an app and book now. I love the app, haven't checked out the book yet.)

I am a singer, and I absolutely love to perform in front of people. When I'm on that stage I feel very confident and I love doing it. Yet I've been told that I'm shy and antisocial.

Is this really the case, or might it just be that I just prefer to focus 100% on my singing rather than speaking to the crowd? People told me that I appear shy when I perform. Yet, I feel anything but shy. I feel completely immersed in the music and am focused on giving the best singing performance possible.

If I focus more on talking to the crowd, my singing will suffer because of it. Everyone tells me I'm a great singer. I am a great singer, and I love to perform. How important is it for me to be more social when I'm stage? I'm social when I get off the stage, and am prepared to party and meet girls and all that good stuff.

Should I keep doing what I'm doing or should I try to be more charismatic and people friendly during my performances?

You're shy because you hate SCSA. There's your problem.

Depending on where you're singing, try becoming a character. Or do something theatrical when you sing. Wear a mask, paint, etc.

How important interacting with the crowd is and in what way you do so depends on the band, the music, the venue, etc. If you are in a black metal band, you can get away with wearing a robe and hood over your face, standing on a dark stage back lit only with candles, and not saying anything to the crowd. If you are in a retrothrash band you should probably stop between songs to say things about beer.

I, too, am shy because of my hate for Stone Cold Steve Austin.