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chozo
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:08 am
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:33 am 
 

i'm manic-depressive and currently not on medication. going through withdrawl and it's dreadful. if this makes any sense I had a hallucination not too long ago but I was aware of having it. also experiencing physical symptoms too. on a good note i'm getting help sometime in the near future. yes, money is an issue right now so I have to hang in there.

Edit: By physical I mean twitching; not hurting myself or others.

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Expedience
Metal freak

Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:22 am
Posts: 4509
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:48 pm 
 

Good advice on the magnesium, especially the bit about using natural sources over supplements. I used to rely on supplements quite a bit before noticing they actually had a deleterious effect on me, and switching over to foods with whatever vitamin or mineral I was after had a massive effect.

Another tip is to drink lots of water. Whenever I'm anxious and remember to flood my body with water it really seems to have a really calming effect. Not sure why that is, but it works.

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Master_Of_Thrash
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 2020
Location: Ceh, neh, deh
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:52 pm 
 

Water is the essence of life, that's why. :)
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:39 am 
 

chozo wrote:
i'm manic-depressive and currently not on medication. going through withdrawl and it's dreadful. if this makes any sense I had a hallucination not too long ago but I was aware of having it. also experiencing physical symptoms too. on a good note i'm getting help sometime in the near future. yes, money is an issue right now so I have to hang in there.

Edit: By physical I mean twitching; not hurting myself or others.

Yikes. Good luck, mate.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 8:32 am 
 

I was offered full employment with the place I work after only two months (the place I work currently isn't my employer, a temp agency is), would be a 50% increase in pay and almost three times as much as my unemployment benefits were. Obviously not chief neurosurgeon kind of pay, but for someone with no qualifications who was still in years of social welfare for inability to work just a year ago it's pretty fucking neat. 2016 has been one fucking hell of an amazing year for me.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:19 am 
 

chozo wrote:
i'm manic-depressive and currently not on medication. going through withdrawl and it's dreadful. if this makes any sense I had a hallucination not too long ago but I was aware of having it. also experiencing physical symptoms too. on a good note i'm getting help sometime in the near future. yes, money is an issue right now so I have to hang in there.

Edit: By physical I mean twitching; not hurting myself or others.


Benzo withdrawal? If so you need to go to a hospital.

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stefan86
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2004 11:52 am
Posts: 1011
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2016 9:57 am 
 

Social anxiety through the roof, every encounter with people is just a foreboding disaster. Yay for life <3
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foreverslainzine
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:19 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 1:33 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
chozo wrote:
i'm manic-depressive and currently not on medication. going through withdrawl and it's dreadful. if this makes any sense I had a hallucination not too long ago but I was aware of having it. also experiencing physical symptoms too. on a good note i'm getting help sometime in the near future. yes, money is an issue right now so I have to hang in there.

Edit: By physical I mean twitching; not hurting myself or others.


Benzo withdrawal? If so you need to go to a hospital.


With benzos all you need is slowly ween yourself off them by decreasing your dosage 10% every week, that is if you still have access to enough pills to ween yourself off. Getting off benzos is nothing like the hell of opioids. If you're out of benzos and withdrawing you need to get to the hospital so they can give you something to make it easier. The trick is, don't allow yourself to get addicted to benzos in the first place. Contrary to what careless doctors will tell you, benzodiazepines are on an as needed basis, you don't take them every day, that is what amitriptyline is for. I've been on benzos since 1995 and I've never been addicted or grown a tolerance to them. That's because I take them once a week, sometimes one a month, moderation. In that case benzos can be very enjoyable experience but you have to know how to use them correctly. Good luck to you.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:35 am 
 

Doctors giving benzos for daily use should be put in prison to be honest.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:38 am 
 

I've never understood how people get addicted to benzos either. It just isn't a pleasant experience, so what's the pull?

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
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Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:39 am 
 

For people with an anxiety disorder and especially panic disorder it's an incredibly pleasant experience.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:42 am 
 

One of my best friends used to have a drug problem. Was addicted to heroin for several years and survived it, but his doc prescribed him xanax maybe due to rebound anxiety once he got clean, and he went on trip to see relatives and never made it back.
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droneriot
cisgender

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:58 am 
 

Doctors are required by law here to not prescribe benzos to recovering addicts and at the same time doctors are paid here by pharma industry to prescribe as much as they can - it's obvious they pick the money over the law. People die but a cool new car or sunny beach vacation can soothe the conscience.
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circleofdestruction
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:15 am
Posts: 1050
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 5:12 pm 
 

Quote:
There are potential natural cures not normally considered by the medical profession because all they do now is shill drugs.

Yes, but there are also multiple problems with naturopaths, including some that basically shill supplements and get you coming back all the time, exactly what they accuse regular doctors of.

Also, supplements aren't usually regulated closely and have sometimes been found to either not contain the substances they claim to, or to be adulterated with other things that may be problematic.

Many people also don't seem to be aware that herbs are drugs too, and they can interact with/counteract other drugs (like St. John's Wort and birth control pills).

There seems to be a problem of pitting one against the other, when the optimal solution would be to consider all sorts of potential treatments and not to trust anyone (including "naturopaths") too much because they, too, are out to take all your money.

I have bipolar type I, listed on my old therapist paperwork as "manic depressive psychosis", but I don't see a therapist or take any psych meds currently.
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foreverslainzine
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:19 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:10 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
For people with an anxiety disorder and especially panic disorder it's an incredibly pleasant experience.


Exactly my friend.

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foreverslainzine
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:19 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:18 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Doctors are required by law here to not prescribe benzos to recovering addicts and at the same time doctors are paid here by pharma industry to prescribe as much as they can - it's obvious they pick the money over the law. People die but a cool new car or sunny beach vacation can soothe the conscience.


This is a major, MAJOR problem in our health-care industry (regarding USA). I am literally embarrassed by it. Yes, the pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies are running the show. It is very frustrating because health-care is so half-ass now and doctors don't care. The give chemotherapy to old people who have no chance of surviving while young people, who it might actually help, go without it. There are so many more examples. In 2012 I had my gallbladder removed and stayed in the hospital for three days (had to stay an extra day because the idiot doctor fucked the first operation up and only cared that he could send some money back to India). That bill for three days came out to over $120,000. They are thieves.

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PvtNinjer
Metal freak

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:45 am
Posts: 4008
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 12:10 pm 
 

So I basically had a mental breakdown this weekend after getting really drunk with some coworkers, quit my job and almost put myself in the psychiatric unit at the hospital because I was really feeling suicidal. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for forever now as well as addiction issues (cocaine and alcohol) but I had been functioning okay for the most part for the past year, but the stress from school and work and the inability to find time to maintain my gym schedule all kinda piled up. The light that really set the bomb off, though was my personal relationship issues. I get really emotional when it comes to rejection (even as simple as someone not wanting to hang out) and that night I kinda got double whammied because there was a girl I liked at work who I had previously expressed interest in and she made it clear we would just be friends, which was fine. I was a little bummed but she's her own person, so I respected her feelings. Fast forward a month and all of a sudden she's dropping hints that she wants to go out to a movie, blah blah blah, but I felt a little uncomfortable given her previous reaction so I kinda just laughed it off. Things got a little more complicated when we were drinking, as apparently when I was in the washroom she told everyone she wanted to hook up with me and so long story short we started talking about it, made out a bit and whatever. Now unfortunately this is when things got a little hazy because I got super intox and I don't remember exactly what happened, but what I do remember is she was all over this other dude telling him she wanted to hook up with him and whatever, so I was kind of upset, but we aren't dating or anything so it's like, whatever you can do what you want. Now, after this I was supposed to swing by to a good friend's house to attend a going away party, but when I called him he told me that the house was full and I couldn't really come down. This kind of "double" rejection basically sent me into an emotional downward spiral of why does no one like me and other self loathing, which is when I quit my job and started texting my brother and friend some pretty troubling stuff.

Long story short, I had to go to my job to grovel for my job back yesterday, I got prescribed a low dose of anti depressants for now and I am getting blood work done to rule out any sort of nutritional issues. After that, I'm hopefully on the long road to see a psychiatrist and get evaluated. The worst part is like... I feel so ridiculous and embarrassed that I reacted that way. I mean, for one thing I barely know this girl, she isn't my girlfriend and I was fine with her rejecting me earlier, so why is it a big deal now? And as far as my friend goes, I'd say that one probably hurt a bit more, but I mean, if the house is full the house is full. Why is my reaction to self destruct my life?

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foreverslainzine
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:19 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 12:05 am 
 

PvtNinjer wrote:
So I basically had a mental breakdown this weekend after getting really drunk with some coworkers, quit my job and almost put myself in the psychiatric unit at the hospital because I was really feeling suicidal. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for forever now as well as addiction issues (cocaine and alcohol) but I had been functioning okay for the most part for the past year, but the stress from school and work and the inability to find time to maintain my gym schedule all kinda piled up. The light that really set the bomb off, though was my personal relationship issues. I get really emotional when it comes to rejection (even as simple as someone not wanting to hang out) and that night I kinda got double whammied because there was a girl I liked at work who I had previously expressed interest in and she made it clear we would just be friends, which was fine. I was a little bummed but she's her own person, so I respected her feelings. Fast forward a month and all of a sudden she's dropping hints that she wants to go out to a movie, blah blah blah, but I felt a little uncomfortable given her previous reaction so I kinda just laughed it off. Things got a little more complicated when we were drinking, as apparently when I was in the washroom she told everyone she wanted to hook up with me and so long story short we started talking about it, made out a bit and whatever. Now unfortunately this is when things got a little hazy because I got super intox and I don't remember exactly what happened, but what I do remember is she was all over this other dude telling him she wanted to hook up with him and whatever, so I was kind of upset, but we aren't dating or anything so it's like, whatever you can do what you want. Now, after this I was supposed to swing by to a good friend's house to attend a going away party, but when I called him he told me that the house was full and I couldn't really come down. This kind of "double" rejection basically sent me into an emotional downward spiral of why does no one like me and other self loathing, which is when I quit my job and started texting my brother and friend some pretty troubling stuff.

Long story short, I had to go to my job to grovel for my job back yesterday, I got prescribed a low dose of anti depressants for now and I am getting blood work done to rule out any sort of nutritional issues. After that, I'm hopefully on the long road to see a psychiatrist and get evaluated. The worst part is like... I feel so ridiculous and embarrassed that I reacted that way. I mean, for one thing I barely know this girl, she isn't my girlfriend and I was fine with her rejecting me earlier, so why is it a big deal now? And as far as my friend goes, I'd say that one probably hurt a bit more, but I mean, if the house is full the house is full. Why is my reaction to self destruct my life?


I'm gonna guess that you are college age so I'd give you the same advice I'd give my own son. There are going to be a lot of girls, tons, many, rejection and head games suck but it's normal. One thing though, don't be drinking if you're depressed, worse thing you can do. Go to the gym you mentioned, you can meet better people there than at the bar.

It's interesting your doctor brought up nutritional deficiencies. Hopefully he tested for vitamin D3. I noticed your in Canada. Long, dark winters, less sunlight = lack of vitamin d3. It can cause depression. It certainly doesn't help when you lack it.

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PvtNinjer
Metal freak

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:45 am
Posts: 4008
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:17 am 
 

Thanks for the kind words man.

As far as the girls thing goes, yeah it's totally right. My main problem is that I know all of this (and it doesn't just extend to romantic relationships either) but I still have trouble regulating my emotions in a way that allows me to react properly when it comes to personal rejection. I have a big fear of abandonment and rejection, so it's like a part of me is going "hey, this is ridiculous and crazy" but I experience the emotions so intensely that it overrides my logical side... I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm effectively communicating what I'm trying to say but hopefully you get what I mean. That being said, I think it was just a boiling over of a ton of different stressors and my depression and anxiety kicking in (and the booze surely didn't help) because I had been previously rejected by this same woman before in a less uh... boozy situation and, while I was bummed, it wasn't really a big deal. I don't think it helps that she acts hot and cold either, and then add a bit of jealousy on top and I guess it makes sense I was upset. I just wish I handled it differently.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:38 am 
 

Fear of abandonment and rejection comes from it actually happening at a crucial development age and will require actual serious therapy more than advice on a forum, that's for sure. Not drinking when you're depressed however is advice on a forum you should truly take to heart, because it must be an iron rule for everyone struggling. Love boozing when good in the mind, but when depressed stay the fuck away from it.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:46 am 
 

PvtNinjer: did you end up getting your job back?

I think these mixed signals from the girl were more of the catalyst for your reaction, and the friend saying the house was full was the tipping point. You probably weren't ready to handle another rejection so that's probably why you reacted the way you did. It's not wrong - people react differently in all situations - but I'm glad you acknowledged the self-destructive nature of it. It seems you're already on your way back from the depths so I think the solutions you've put in motion are a good sign that you're not going to put up with being down. :)

Keep your chin up, pal. Everyone goes through these things and it sometimes stems from something innocuous at the time (like a full house) but it's the straw that breaks the camel's back, as the saying goes.
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PvtNinjer
Metal freak

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:45 am
Posts: 4008
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 1:45 pm 
 

Thanks guys. droneriot you are right I do have some issues regarding that that will require some therapy. I'm sure I'll get there if I stay on the straight and narrow.

My main problem is that I've always been addicted to something, so I don't really know how to form and maintain relationships that aren't built around getting fucked up, so sobriety can be very lonely for me. I can't even hang out with my brother because of this issue.

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omnishadow
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 18, 2013 12:19 am
Posts: 240
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:31 am 
 

PvtNinjer wrote:
Thanks guys. droneriot you are right I do have some issues regarding that that will require some therapy. I'm sure I'll get there if I stay on the straight and narrow.

My main problem is that I've always been addicted to something, so I don't really know how to form and maintain relationships that aren't built around getting fucked up, so sobriety can be very lonely for me. I can't even hang out with my brother because of this issue.

Addiction is bad in all forms. What about a pet?

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:38 am 
 

Oh yeah it is. I've talked with a friend last night who is a recovering alcoholic like me about the crazy amount of coke/pepsi we started drinking pretty much straight after detox. Really funny in a kind of sad way.
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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 651
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 4:27 am 
 

Ups and downs, holy shit. Mentally, I've been feeling pretty damn well for the last two months or so, keeping myself busy, then I got sick, so I needed to slow down a bit and now the depression just ran me over in the last few days. This weekend, I was barely able to get up and get some food (let alone cook), and when I forced myself to meet my best friend, I got triggered way too easily and proceeded with the usual self-hating schtick. And I haven't even been in the state of mind to enjoy seeing my girlfriend lately because I really feel liek she's wasting her time. Something is really wrong.

I guess the only way for me to survive is to keep myself as busy as humanly possible. I'm not looking forward to the holidays, because... there will be some downtime.
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PvtNinjer
Metal freak

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:45 am
Posts: 4008
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:59 pm 
 

omnishadow wrote:
PvtNinjer wrote:
Thanks guys. droneriot you are right I do have some issues regarding that that will require some therapy. I'm sure I'll get there if I stay on the straight and narrow.

My main problem is that I've always been addicted to something, so I don't really know how to form and maintain relationships that aren't built around getting fucked up, so sobriety can be very lonely for me. I can't even hang out with my brother because of this issue.

Addiction is bad in all forms. What about a pet?


Well I do have a cat, but they are pretty low maintenance. Also, between work and school I'm barely ever at home except to eat. I think it's just a matter of relearning to enjoy life and to deal with my stress in a more productive way.

I think the anti depressants are helping, even just a little bit. At first they were making me a little anxious, but I seem to have a bit more energy in the mornings which is great.

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Haddock666
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 6:26 am
Posts: 49
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2016 11:52 am 
 

I got depression very young, guess I was 9-11, at 22-23 became anxiety disorder but luckily depression decreased. I don't know how long I've had borderline personality disorder, long.
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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:27 pm 
 

I am honestly convinced that the vast majority of people who have had depression haven't had it anywhere near as bad as I have. The pain that I've felt in my mind is nothing less than hell. I don't believe it's possible to have had it any worse psychologically or emotionally than I have had. I have suffered through a mental sickness that goes far beyond what most people can even begin imagine. If there was some way to demonstrate it, I would. It's just based on life experiences and with talking to other depressed people that I hold this belief.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 7:10 pm 
 

Need4Power wrote:
I am honestly convinced that the vast majority of people who have had depression haven't had it anywhere near as bad as I have. The pain that I've felt in my mind is nothing less than hell. I don't believe it's possible to have had it any worse psychologically or emotionally than I have had. I have suffered through a mental sickness that goes far beyond what most people can even begin imagine. If there was some way to demonstrate it, I would. It's just based on life experiences and with talking to other depressed people that I hold this belief.

Let's hold this post as a beacon of what not to say.

I have no doubt that your depression is awful. I believe you that you went through mental torture and possibly even attempted suicide. I agree that it's shit and hopefully it gets better or already is.

However, never downplay anyone else's depression simply because you think you have had it worse. How can you possibly know that? Other people go through mental illnesses, too, and everyone shows it differently. Some not at all. To say that you have had it worse because you "hold this belief" is very short-sighted. I have depression - why is mine less important? (I realise you never said the word "important" in your post, but that's the mindset you're conveying here.) Please understand that the words you say can impact others, even if you posted this with the best of intentions.
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circleofdestruction
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:15 am
Posts: 1050
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:15 pm 
 

I was going to say what MikeyC said earlier but he said it better than I would have.

I understand how a person can feel that way, but it's quite impossible to know anyone's struggles inside their head, especially if they don't tell you and you don't witness any of it.

Unrelated: I have bipolar type I and get people who say "isn't everybody bipolar?" No, they are not. Having various moods that change sometimes is not the same as being bipolar. Usually when a thing is referred to a disorder, it means it interferes with normal functioning and/or causes significant distress (for example, I sometimes go for months without talking to friends at all or leaving the house while depressed; while manic I can have psychotic episodes and I have a problem with overspending, drinking too much, etc.)
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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:31 pm 
 

I apologize. It's just that in speaking with other people about what I've gone through, they give me the impression that they don't understand me, and when they say they know what it's like, I think they really don't.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 14211
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:38 pm 
 

circleofdestruction wrote:
Unrelated: I have bipolar type I and get people who say "isn't everybody bipolar?" No, they are not. Having various moods that change sometimes is not the same as being bipolar. Usually when a thing is referred to a disorder, it means it interferes with normal functioning and/or causes significant distress (for example, I sometimes go for months without talking to friends at all or leaving the house while depressed; while manic I can have psychotic episodes and I have a problem with overspending, drinking too much, etc.)

People get really happy and really sad, but that's different to bipolarity. So you're right, not everyone is bi-polar. Your mania and depression sound textbook bi-polar disorder, and that's really sad. Are you taking any medications for it?

Need4Power wrote:
I apologize. It's just that in speaking with other people about what I've gone through, they give me the impression that they don't understand me, and when they say they know what it's like, I think they really don't.

I understand, it's okay. I feel like people might say that they understand not through feeling the same, but merely understanding what you're going through. Perhaps some do understand on an empathetic level but don't reveal it. It's hard to speculate. Do you see a therapist? It seems like you're willing to talk (which is awesome) so speaking to a professional might be a good way to go.
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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:51 pm 
 

Yeah, I see a psychiatrist, and he's very good. It costs money though, and it's not covered by health insurance. I don't know what I'd do if I was poor.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:58 pm 
 

Need4Power wrote:
Yeah, I see a psychiatrist, and he's very good. It costs money though, and it's not covered by health insurance. I don't know what I'd do if I was poor.

It's good to hear that you see a psychologist. From the little you've said here, it seems like that's the best choice. It'd be a safe place where you can talk without judgement, and with someone who is willing to listen and provide steps to management/recovery. You get no rebates from it? In Australia we get free or discounted sessions if we get a mental health plan, which isn't hard to get, through Medicare. Not sure what the system is like in America but the fact that it's not covered by health insurance means it needs to be reviewed. However, at least you have the money to see him so I feel like that's a good step. :)
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circleofdestruction
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Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:15 am
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:00 pm 
 

Need4Power wrote:
It's just that in speaking with other people about what I've gone through, they give me the impression that they don't understand me, and when they say they know what it's like, I think they really don't.

I think it may be that people also experience things differently and cope differently. It may be that some people you talked to did have milder symptoms, but it's just problematic to make assumptions.

Sometimes people will try to say they know what you're going through in attempts to make you feel better, but it doesn't always work out. I have bipolar I and even when talking to people I know with Bipolar type ii, it seems like we're going through entirely different things.

MikeyC wrote:
People get really happy and really sad, but that's different to bipolarity. So you're right, not everyone is bi-polar. Your mania and depression sound textbook bi-polar disorder, and that's really sad. Are you taking any medications for it?

No, last one I tried was depakote (3 years ago) and it gave me a horrid rash so I had to quit it, apparently I'm allergic. I was hospitalized once as a teenager.

After a depressive episode going on more or less for several years recently, I had a rather extreme manic episode a year or so ago and quit seeing my therapist; bought a piano, violin, and several other instruments I didn't play before; bought thousands of dollars worth of '70s vinyl; hundreds of CDs, and began drinking heavily (after not drinking for years, other than maybe holiday dinners).

It's not that I didn't like listening to and playing music before (or I wouldn't be here on a music related forum), but it got to be weirdly extreme when it came to time spent, money spent, and getting agitated and anxious when separated from CDs and musical instruments. The music obsession was kind of weird and funny, or would be if it weren't for the money spent. (Things are a bit more normal now.)

I would go long periods without sleeping or eating and lost 20 pounds in a month.
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~Guest 76452
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:15 pm 
 

So today marks 7 years completely rid of smoking and drinking. I think quitting drinking helped my depression levels more than anything. At any rate, I'm probably the most stable I've ever been in that area. Either that and/or I've learned to manage it (pills never helped me, in fact they only made things worse). Anxiety, on the other hand, is as bad (if not worse) than its ever been. I'm quite certain that smoking and drinking didn't do jack shit to help with that, so I'm not really missing anything.

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MikeyC
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Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:30 pm 
 

circleofdestruction wrote:
MikeyC wrote:
People get really happy and really sad, but that's different to bipolarity. So you're right, not everyone is bi-polar. Your mania and depression sound textbook bi-polar disorder, and that's really sad. Are you taking any medications for it?

No, last one I tried was depakote (3 years ago) and it gave me a horrid rash so I had to quit it, apparently I'm allergic. I was hospitalized once as a teenager.

After a depressive episode going on more or less for several years recently, I had a rather extreme manic episode a year or so ago and quit seeing my therapist; bought a piano, violin, and several other instruments I didn't play before; bought thousands of dollars worth of '70s vinyl; hundreds of CDs, and began drinking heavily (after not drinking for years, other than maybe holiday dinners).

It's not that I didn't like listening to and playing music before (or I wouldn't be here on a music related forum), but it got to be weirdly extreme when it came to time spent, money spent, and getting agitated and anxious when separated from CDs and musical instruments. The music obsession was kind of weird and funny, or would be if it weren't for the money spent. (Things are a bit more normal now.)

I would go long periods without sleeping or eating and lost 20 pounds in a month.

Yeah, if it gave you a rash it's best not to continue with it.

That's a very normal manic episode as manic episodes go. Do you still have all that stuff today? Did you ever end up learning how to play the piano or violin? Losing 20 pounds a month is also not ideal, either. Sleeplessness has very unusual effects on people so that would've been a hectic month. :(

Perdition666 wrote:
So today marks 7 years completely rid of smoking and drinking. I think quitting drinking helped my depression levels more than anything. At any rate, I'm probably the most stable I've ever been in that area. Either that and/or I've learned to manage it (pills never helped me, in fact they only made things worse). Anxiety, on the other hand, is as bad (if not worse) than its ever been. I'm quite certain that smoking and drinking didn't do jack shit to help with that, so I'm not really missing anything.

Good to hear about the 7 years of abstinence. :) I do recall a photo that may have been you next to a cash register that had $6.66 on it - was that after a drinking session? It was many, many years ago, though, haha. Sorry, you mentioning no alcohol kind of triggered that memory.

Sucks about your anxiety, though. Are you doing anything to try and combat it?
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:46 pm 
 

Nah, that must've been someone else - I wish that was me though. :lol:

Alcohol doesn't bother me anymore and I don't consider it a problem. Mind you, you couldn't pay me to be around a bunch of drunks. Smoking on the other hand is the one is the one I'm more concerned about. I don't think I'll ever start up again - just too expensive and gross. And it got to the point I had to smoke cigars to calm my anxiety at all.

I've hit a brick wall with anxiety, but sometimes I still try relaxation exercises, esp. in regards to panic attacks. For example, I have to sell a bunch of CDs on ebay (well, I don't have to, I want to), and I keep getting panic attacks before taking pictures for them, doing up the listings, etc. Seriously annoying - no wonder why I procrastinate with that. Sometimes its stupid, insignificant things that cause me the greatest amount of distress (that's not to say that a serious incident wouldn't make me go batshit hysterical though).

For dealing with other areas of anxiety, its like I know all this shit and what to do, I just don't apply anything. Or I forget to. I get too sucked up into it and am stuck on autopilot. Its like I come to and apply whatever techniques (or disrupt whatever negative thought patterns I have going on) long after the fact. And this happens so many times, over and over and over... All I can really do is not punish myself over that very fact.

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MikeyC
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:03 pm 
 

Being sober around drunk people is rarely a good time, so I see what you mean. I have never smoked so I can't discuss personal experience there, but I hate cigarettes. Expensive and gross is correct. Cigarette prices in Australia are astronomical.

Anxiety can occur in many situations, and listings can be one of them. I'm sure you just want to make sure you have all the details correct, and that could be why you get nervous. It's okay if you forget to implement the techniques you use; it's not easy to do so when you're in the throes of an anxiety episode. Keep on trucking, mate. :)
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circleofdestruction
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Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:15 am
Posts: 1050
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:15 pm 
 

MikeyC wrote:
Yeah, if it gave you a rash it's best not to continue with it.

That's a very normal manic episode as manic episodes go. Do you still have all that stuff today? Did you ever end up learning how to play the piano or violin? Losing 20 pounds a month is also not ideal, either. Sleeplessness has very unusual effects on people so that would've been a hectic month.

Well, I was also being treated for eczema by a dermatologist, so rashes were especially bad.

Yes, all that and more. I'm just not spending hundreds of dollars per week on 70s music memorabilia anymore, thank gawd. Still playing the piano nearly every day, year and a half later, not quite so much with the other stuff!

I'm rather resistant to the idea of treatment while manic, though; I called the therapist and said I wasn't coming back. [facepalm]
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