(posted this on Facebook before the games, so hush)
Prayoff Predickshuns
Alrighty, it's that time again, and this time I missed a good chunk of the season in boot camp, so I'm partially out of the loop! So if these predictions seem way off, call it a mix of the lockout and the time I missed. Also bite me.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Chicago Blackhawks V (8) Minnesota Wild Do you really expect me to go against the President's Trophy winners? Well... kinda, yeah. President's winners haven't been faring too well this past decade, with something crazy like two of them making the Finals in the past decade, with only the 08 Wings actually winning the Cup. Plus I have this nagging feeling that Chicago's incredible game is going to slow down eventually. You don't stay that good for this long. Buuuuut with all that said, Minnesota has some amazingly talented players, but Chicago has more. Backstrom is a fantastic goalie but Crawford has surprised the crap out of me all season, and the Wild's D consists of Ryan Suter and apparently nobody else, whereas Chicago has been surprisingly stacked all year. That depth that won them the 2010 Cup is back in full force, and it just contains too much firepower and stonewall PK for the Wild to overcome. I can see them stealing an early game, but not more than one. CHICAGO IN FIVE
(2) Anaheim Ducks V (7) Detroit Red Wings Anaheim is a tough, gritty, nasty team with a lot of firepower, while Detroit is an old guard, stoic, experienced group of veterans. They lost some huge components of their game with Lidstrom and Holmstrom in the offseason, but on the whole they're still great like always, and Howard has been on fire leading into the playoffs. This series will be a tough grind, but Anaheim should have it in the bag if they're able to get back to their regular form quick enough. Therein lies their issue, they had an unimpressive late half of the season and Bobby Ryan has been slumping at the worst possible time. If they can bounce back, they can take it, but for now I'm going to have to say that momentum is just not on their side, and there's almost no team in the NHL more comfortable in the playoffs than the Detroit Red Wings. In a perfect world, the Wings would be the second worst team in the league behind the Blues (and only a tad better than the Flyers), but as it stands they're still among the best, even if they're a lower seed than they're used to. DETROIT IN SEVEN
(3) Vancouver Canucks V (6) San Jose Sharks True story, my sleeper pick for the Cup before the season started was San Jose, mainly because I figured that they wouldn't have time to start sucking like they normally do with the shortened season. Lo and behold, they found a way to start dipping their hot start into the cooler early. Go figure. But with that said, Vancouver certainly does not have a good playoff record over the last few years. They consistently qualify and win the Northwest simply because they're in the AFC West of hockey. Don't get me wrong, they're a talented team, but they've proven time and time again that they don't have what it takes in the postseason, often resorting to dirty trickery or just plain dirty play. Not to mention their constant goaltending woes with Luongo, and now Schneider gets the dubious honor of inheriting that wild Vancouver media spotlight while possibly not even being all the way healthy? Man there are about seven and a half billion people I'd rather be than Cory Schneider. San Jose knows how to play rough, and when it comes to grit, they'll take the Canoodles every time. Plus Antti Niemi in net? Easiest upset for me to call. SAN JOSE IN SIX
(4) St. Louis Blues V (5) Los Angeles Kings The defending champions had a pretty shaky start to the season, and the star power that suddenly awoke in the postseason last year doesn't seem to be as powerful this time around, but the fact that they were struggling when I left and then only lost home ice advantage due to the Blues getting an easy last game when I came back shows that I'm obviously missing something. The Blues's main strength that propelled them to the Central Division champs last year was their inhumanly good goaltending tandem, which features a now banged up Halak and a return to form Elliott. Elliott has just been streaky as hell this year, and that is the last thing you want to be in the playoffs. Quick has dropped dramatically from last year as well, but I feel like he has more in him than Elliott does at this point, and the rest of the team just ends up better as well. St. Louis is a very tough, gritty team (read: a bunch of cheap gutless fucks who take runs at defenseless star players to compensate for the fact that they have none of their own), but LA isn't intimidated by such ballyhoo, and can dish it out just as viciously. Plus they swept the season series. Unlike the Detroit matchup, I'm very pleased to say my least favorite team is probably going to get an early exit this year. LOS ANGELES IN SIX
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Pittsburgh Penguins V (8) New York Islanders I love Tavares, I really do. I think he's easily one of the best young players and could easily be the next Jonathon Toews of the Eastern Conference. I love his style, his dedication, his attitude, and his talent. Unfortunately, he has to play an entire full team of Penguins, who have been arguably the most dominant team all year if not for Chicago's historic season. A healthy Pittsburgh squad might as well be that lawnmower decapitation wall thing from Caligula. They choked hard last year but there's no way they didn't learn from that mistake, and their defense is just superior to NYI. There is a bizarre parallel universe where Pitt's defense breaks down and the Isles outshoot them to victory, but we don't live in that universe. Easy pick for the Pens. PITTSBURGH IN FOUR
(2) Montreal Canadiens V (7) Ottawa Senators Ottawa has really been through a lot this year. Karlsson amazingly recovered from Matt Cooke's semi successful assassination attempt and has already proven that he's in top form as always, Michalek, Anderson, and Spezza all went out with long term injuries as well, and only Spezza has yet to return, and Anderson is having one of his good years (every three years he gets one it seems). So they've overcome a lot of adversity to make it where they are. Conversely, despite winning the Northeast, Montreal has been kind of limping into the playoffs. Carey Price has just been phenomenally wonky in the final stretch, and nobody feels very confident in him right now. With that said, the Habs most definitely have the tools at their disposal, and with two healthy teams on neutral ice with no streaks to factor in, they'd probably take this series pretty handily. But with that said, the momentum just isn't with the Habs right now, they got cold at the wrong time and I feel like that's going to bite them. The Sens surprised everybody last year by almost taking out the Rangers in the first round, but this year I think they'll pull off the upset. OTTAWA IN SIX
(3) Washington Capitals V (6) New York Rangers I've been riding the metaphorical dick of momentum for nearly all of these picks, and with that in mind it should be no surprise that I feel like the Caps should take this one. Ovechkin either started 'roiding or summoning some strange voodoo magic because he's right back into his 2007 form, capturing the Rocket with a stunning second half. The Rangers have Nash and Richards and King Henrik and Tortorella on the bench and all the components of a marvelous team, but so do the Capitals, and their biggest star with the most pressure on him (Ovie) will perform better than anybody on the Rangers. In the goaltending department, Lundqvist is obviously worlds better than Holtby, and with that in mind he is the weak link in Washington's armor. If the New York offense can light up early, Washington will crumble like a cookie. Personally, I don't see it happening for four games. The Rangers won't make this easy, but it's Ovechkin's time. He can't choke every year (can he? (God I hope not)). WASHINGTON IN SIX
(4) Boston Bruins V (5) Toronto Maple Leafs There are so many good storylines at play right here. All the hooplah with Kessel and Seguin, Boston's apparent gypsy curse over Toronto over the last few years, the fact that somebody's last name is seriously fucking Bozak and nobody laughs about that but me, there's a lot to talk about. The Bs are coming in on the brownest of brown notes, and Tuuk Nukem hasn't been himself lately (I blame the fact that he's starting to look like a mix of the One Direction guy and Cubert from Futurama), but Toronto is... well, Toronto. Kessel is a stud, Bozak (LOOOOOL) plays wonderfully, and Reimer has been a class act in dealing with all the hullabaloo and still managing to perform on a nightly basis. With that said, Boston is still obviously a great team and they have a lot of intangibles working in their favor. Chara will always be a force to be reckoned with, and defensively the team is fantastic like always. This is one of those series that I think will have to revolve around a team stepping up and breaking the chain, and for once, I think it'll happen. Boston has been systematically schooling Toronto for a decade, but they're slumping, and Toronto has a lot to prove, and Kessel alone has a lot to say to the city that dealt him away to a perennial laughingstock. Call me crazy, but I see it happening. The Blue and White is finally gonna be alright. TORONTO IN SEVEN
AND THAT'S THAT. Fight me.
_________________ Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote: the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter
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