Wow, get well soon xlxlx.


And let us know where you're vacationing.

I did Vermont for a little while and had a 2 Bedroom apartment for $800 a month.

I stupidly came back to CA for my family and friends and am back to square one.

I have no weight problems. This wasn't really derived from a cholesterol or obesity issue.

Thank you all for the kind words, and yeah, I'll be taking a few days off in general to rest. Never been big on pot, but if it will help, I might as well give it a try

If you don't have any real hobbies, I'd recommend taking one up that's particularly relaxing.

A hobby would be a good idea. It helps relieve stress and gives you something to direct your life (focusing on improvement long term). Shooting hoops, shooting heroin, shooting cops: doesn't really matter what it is as long as it's something you can work on a bit each day.

Just make sure it's the right kind of strain for you, because jesus, if I've ever been close to a heart attack, it has been from a fucking pot-induced anxiety attack.

Quick recovery to you, Xlxlx, mate. Take it easy, and be kind to yourself.

As long as you're shootin' sumthin', hey?

Damn xlxlx.

If you want a place to visit, feel free to come on up here by the way. Shelter, food, and finding shit to do are all covered.

Damn, man... you're blatantly copying my business model.

And take it easy, Xlxlx. Being alive is more important than a great majority of other things for the sake of living the rest of your life.

Just wait until I install a sauna and start BBQing pork neck...

Vacationing in Canada definitely sounds great, haha. I was thinking of something smaller though; I'll go visit El Bolsón, a woodsy, sleepy region at the base of Los Andes. They even have a shire and all, Bilbo style Thanks for the offer though, Deri. I might just take you up on that next year

I was thinking of taking up jogging again. With the lack of time due to work and such I've been seriously neglecting time outside the house whenever I'm not busy.

That's some rough shit, Xlxlx. Please be careful. We don't want to lose the only Argentinian MA user here.

Have you ever thought of trying meditation? I thought it was nonsense, but for me just focusing on deep breathing for some minutes before hopping into bed helps me relax...well, sometimes.

X's nightmare situation scares the shit out of me. I think I'll probably go see a doctor for a check up... pinnacle of health i am not.

Wow, $800 here won't even get you a shared room. Where in CA? I'm in Santa Cruz county which is just ridiculously expensive, but it sure is pretty. The redwoods, the beaches...

I lived in NorCal for awhile. The rent is absurd out there -- I wouldn't have been able to afford a one-bedroom apartment even with a full time job. Glad I moved back to Ohio, which is known for having a low cost of living.

To not give away my location entirely I'm in the bay area. So obviously I'm with family. Again.

Gotcha. Yeah the Bay Area is particularly bad and only getting worse due to the high salaries from Google, Apple, Amazon, and the like.

Lived in San Francisco the majority of my life. Moved with parents two states years ago cus social security wasn't enough to keep the house and, like, actually live. At this point, if you have a house in SF you have had the house since the 70's-early 80's as a working/upper middle class person or you are just fucking rich. It's super sad. Seattle is going to be next in Silicon Valley's city take over. Expect any cultural diversity to go down the hill.

Shit, am I really the only one? That doesn't sound right. I remember at least a couple others And nah, I've tried meditation in the past; doesn't really do much for me. I still appreciate the suggestion though, man.

It's never a bad idea, man. I always tried to get check ups done twice a year; one at the beginning, another one towards the middle. You can never be too sure.

As of today, I, one of the site's most outspoken Christians have 6666 points and am the only user to currently have that score! -l- Ave Pentagrammaton! -l-

This actually reminded me about this Chinese doctor I visited for a while because I had trouble breathing through my nose. Got tea for this stuff and I'm a lot better now, fortunately. Unfortunately, during my last visit, he told me my heart beat was too high, as was my blood pressure. I refused any tea for my heart (as he obviously recommended) but still, I better get that checked, too. D:

Behold friends, for the following tale is true, I tell you! Though I have lived it myself--and live it still! Even I cannot be sure, but it is true!


Just a few days ago, I noted how miserable I was at that current point in my life. This is the kind of staggering reversal you always want when things go badly.

Flashback: Roughly a year ago, I met this woman as she joined a project I was working on (my dev team). Between us, an instant rapport. We shared attitudes, humor, tastes in music, movies, and video games. She was sexy, petite, and blonde. Her name is Brandy, and I had a little crush, I have to admit. But she was in a relationship, and I was in a relationship, and I put it all to the back of my mind. We worked together as friends.

Eventually, she was forced to leave the project due to a severe bicycle accident that left her with a torn ligament. After that, she was gone, we did not see one another again. I tried to stay in contact but she had essentially fallen unresponsive. Turns out, her life got quite a bit harder. There was problems in her relationship, they broke up, and her boyfriend started the long road to transition to female.

In that time, I also ended up hospitalized (kidney stone for me), and my relationship also started a long road to unraveling. By November, just under two weeks ago, we were broken up as well.

At some point in our dev team, we discussed the woman who'd left. She had somewhat stayed in touch with the only other female regular on the team, as they had been friends in college. It was revealed that Brandy had gone through a particularly tough summer.

I was not in a great place, and learning that she was not in a great place, on a whim I messaged her to see how she was doing. I figured maybe kindred spirits, we could chat and rekindle a friendship we'd started having when she was still working with us. This was on Monday evening, today is Thursday. Since then, we have not only talked almost constantly, but the conversations quickly turned to flirting.

Eventually, I revealed that, frankly, I had a bit of a crush on her nearly a year ago when we first met. To my utter astonishment, she said the same fucking thing. Our mutual connection from nearly a year ago was actually quite a bit deeper than either of us wanted to admit at the time, but we both felt it. Suddenly now, we're reconnecting, and admitting these feelings. Our views on relationships and dating are almost perfectly identical. What we both want is complimentary. We both feel we're too old for this "suddenly single and struggling" shit, or venturing into the "dating scene" again. Bonus, we both look way younger than we are. She's 34 and seriously looks 18. I'm 38 and look about 26. And holy shit I realize we're in the third act of a fucking Hollywood Rom-Com.

This shit doesn't happen in reality! This is seriously just a hackneyed, trite, by-the-numbers Romantic Comedy, right? One of a dozen Hollywood churns out from their factory every year. Our year mirrored the ups and downs. We didn't see one another for months and then reconnected by complicated string of odd-ball little steps and fucking happenstance. We discovered we felt the same way about one another. That we have apparently shared these feelings for the better part of a year. She had actually been considering contacting me again, but I did it first. In nearly every way, she is an ideal significant other that I was certain I would never find. My crush had a crush on me. It took nearly a year for that to come to fruition. This is not reality. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

We were on the phone until two in the morning last night. I am working on three hours of sleep, and our first actual date is tonight.

The sheer number of things that had to happen to get to this point is astounding. This is a turn that, sure, I've fantasized about. That "ideal romance" as it were. This is the most wanted I have felt in ages.

I can barely believe it's actually happening.

Aww, I'm happy for you and that's the type of uplifting story I needed to start the afternoon.

That's a great story, R_H - hope it works out for you. Always good to get a bit of that uplifting spirit.

Finally talking to someone (via online dating... but let's not open that can of worms again) who I think I actually really like. Gonna try and see if that works out myself. It's tough for me to find people I click with. Been a while since I had a real relationship.

Been going through some music I haven't played in a while, and anyone into Mael Mordha? Mannanan is a pretty fucking good album. Like a more upbeat, trad-metal Primordial, with deep, rich vocals and killer songwriting chops.

Uh oh, 6667 points now dude!

I've been talking to her (while I'm at work) most of the day. It still doesn't seem real.

The second I pick her up this afternoon, maybe it will.

@ Xlxlx : damn dude, that's rough. Please take care.
@R_H: congrats, that's a nice feel-good story and a nice reversal. Sometimes the stars just align.

Right on it! I'm laying in bed eating fucking bombons and listening to Artillery. If this isn't selfcare, I don't know what is

Yo, Resident, that's cute as all get out. I'd wish you good luck on your date, but it doesn't sound like you'll need much

It's the kind I've needed for a long while.

Man, sounds like you fully transitioned from "good stress that helps drive us forward" into "sitcom lesson about the horrors of stress." I hope you're able to get the vacation and rest you need! Good luck, man. Waking up that close to winking out forever sounds fucking terrifying.

It was pretty damn scary, yeah, though nowhere near as scary for me as it seems to have been for my family. Never saw my mom cry so much before; that shit was harsh, man.

Thanks for the reminder! Mael Mordha is one of those who slipped through the craps for me. I loved Gealtacht, then completely forgot about the band. Looks like I have some catching up to do

If you have to keep one thing under control in life it's stress. It affects your whole being. Glad you're ok! Keep munching on those bonbons. Also give one to your mom. It seems to be their favorite thing in life from my experience.

Ah I remember those days of dating... It can be mighty fun but I found it just exhausting: getting my hopes up over some new blossoming relationship and then it not working out for whatever reason. A necessary evil. Once you do find that special someone to commit to for the rest of your lives, it's pretty dang awesome and all worth it. Good luck fellas!

I plan to go see the doctor on Tuesday myself after Xlxlx's health scare, on top of the fact I've been sleeping a lot lately. I'm talking like going to bed at 1030 and waking up 830-9. Every day. For the last two weeks. One of my friends suggested it was a glandular problem but he's no doctor, and obviously I don't want to bother coworkers by asking them.

It's good that you're seeing a doctor, though I'd venture a guess that you have a bout of depression which is causing the oversleeping. That shit wears you down fast.

I'm making a list of adjectives that, when applied to the description of a band's genre, means they will definitely be boring. Here's the list so far: atmospheric, cacophonous, cavernous, dissonant, tormented. Any more suggestions?

You'll dig Mannanan if you like any sort of pagan metal of that kind... just no bullshit, meaty riffs in your face and epic, clever arrangements, with some of the most savage vocals you'll hear that are still clean. I gotta check out their most recent one which is already, shit, near five years old.

This story is a very welcome change to nary two weeks ago when things looked bleak. I'm very happy for you, dude. Let us know how the date goes.

It. Was. Awesome.

Because we knew each other before, we didn't bother with trying to go out and "be impressive." Conversation wasn't "safe" like first date conversation tends to be. Everything flowed very naturally. We spent most of the evening pretty much just wrapped up together on the couch. May not sound exciting on the surface, but for us, it was pretty fucking perfect.

The list of things she and I have in common is just so fucking absurd. We're both ex-military, our kids are about the same age (mine boy is 14, her daughters will be 14 next spring), we've both been married once, our spouses both left us while we were deployed (hers took her kids though), our previous two relationships were both 5 years and 2 years. These are just examples. This list just goes on and on. We both have best friends who are trans (not her ex). We both cut ourselves getting trimmed up for our date!

And she wore jeans and heels, which I have a weakness for.