I've always been fascinated by the idea of "garage metal". Taking garage rock and adding more fuzz, lightning, and frenetic metal riffs sounds like a winning combination, even though it would probably get a cheesy name like "scrap metal".
St. Anger isn't even that far from what I'd imagine a "garage metal" album to be like, if only it had better presentation and wild guitar solos. You know, something like Cactus's 1970 demo of "Rumblin Man"

Probably the shittiest-sounding song you'll hear all day, but that's what makes it work so damn well. It's too raw (and the version with actual bass is probably the heaviest song of that decade).



In terms of actual defecation:

I think if you cut the length of St Anger in half, the result wouldn't be far from Octagon - though that one is too long for its own good, too.

This thread has got me thinking. It seems that most of the worst songs I can name are well-known pop songs.
Christopher Bowes' solo project shouldn't go without a mention, but it is at least comically bad, which likely makes it better than any of the songs listed below.

Ed Sheeran - Shape of You: really bad
Justin Bieber - Baby: a disgrace to the world of music
Rebecca Black - Friday: so bad that it went viral for it
[forgotten artist] - What Does the Fox Say?: unbelievably stupid
[forgotten artist] - Gucci Gang: simply appalling in terms of BOTH music and lyrics
White Stripes - Seven Nation Army: perhaps an odd choice to list, but that riff is mind-numbingly repetitive, the song is not very technically advanced

The absolute worst song I have ever heard in my life, though, is a song I heard once in my sister's car. I think it would actually be difficult to compose something worse if you tried.

https://youtu.be/m0EiujcV3Tg

I know this is from 3 years ago but when did Popeye have decided to become a black metal vocalist sometime in his career???

Touch my bum.
This is life.

Oh goodness. Forgot about that song. It definitely comes close to taking the cake.

Is being technically advanced what it was going for? Or required for good music?

Re: the first question, definitely not. I wouldn't say it's required to make a song "good" and is not required in the slightest for music to be liked, but I personally consider it one of the factors. There are genres of music I despise listening to as much as the songs I listed, but if it requires great skill for the musicians to play it, that is at least something to appreciate... so as much as I dislike the music, I wouldn't call it bad music.

One could argue that even the most despisable of today's pop songs are not "rubbish", as their purpose is simply to be a product that sells, and they do a good job of that. If we put selling aside, such songs are certainly on my list of the worst.

Well taste will be taste. Fair enough I suppose. That song is amazing to me and the album Elephant is a desert island album for me. I like that kind of low-fi bluesy stuff.

What makes a song good or bad is an endless debate, even when we try to put taste aside. I had my flamesuit prepared when I mentioned that track.

Agreed, music is not a competition.

When I play guitar, I do not want others to deem my music as 'winning or losing' against another piece of music; I want others to listen to it and be taken to the same place in their minds that my favorite music takes me.

That riff of "Seven Nation Army" has to be the most overplayed thing in the universe. You even hear it at sporting events all the time now, and it's gotten super annoying.

With that said, I originally, way back when, really liked that song, and that whole album. Yeah, sure the White Stripes didn't exactly overload their music with technique or intricate skills, but they did manage to come up with some pretty raw, catchy riffs now and again- that being one of them. But yeah, now I'm pretty sick of hearing it.

Still better than lo-skills auto-tune pop music you hear everywhere now. The kind where they take any average guy off the street and give him a record contract, put his face on the cover, (with the obligatory blingy jewelry and clothing) and just autotune the fuck out of his vocals to make it sound "Sexy" or whatever.

I've found that I can't really hate on Justin Bieber. Back then, he was just a kid, making music for young kids. And he at least had some measurable vocal talent, unlike a lot of pop singers. It would be like hating on Sesame Street because you're too old to appreciate songs about letters and numbers.

The song Baby by Justin Bieber is the only one I know of his. Although it made it to my list of songs close to my worst, I have heard from various people that he is capable of better. I think many of the artists responsible for the world's worst songs are, in fact.

ALL OTHER SONGS IN THIS THREAD HAVE NOW BEEN MADE REDUNDANT

Best comment:

There was a dish washer at my work a few months back that unironically recommended Mini Thin when I asked him if he listened to rap. He was a pretty nice dude actually, but was super redneck, basically looked like all the people in this video.

Music recommendations from my dishwasher are usually limited to stuff like Merzbow.

My expectations were so low upon seeing the title, you'd have to go to the Challenger Deep just to find them.
Somehow, it still managed to fail to reach them
I'm actually in shock

Amen. St. Anger has great riffs and I don't really hate the sound that much. If it was 40 minutes it could be great.

For some unexplained reason, Youtube presented me Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda' video.

It shows what a big part of modern pop music is: No songwriting.

It also shows what's more important than music: Objectifying females.

I didn't see it fully, so I'm not going to comment on its possible Illuminati imagery...

A lot of my top picks are already listed here, of course. And a lot of the time I don't remember the names of specific songs or artists, I just remember hearing some real bad stuff.

Ascension Millennium by Corey Feldman is really... interesting, I'll say. And you GOTTA watch the music video if you listen to it, it just adds to the experience. That whole album is quite a ride, actually. But I'm sure the rest of internet has told you that as well. Fun fact, when I first saw the title, I thought it was supposed to be "Angelic 2: The Core" and I was confused as to why he made sequel to an album that didn't exist. When I realized the "2" literally just stood in the place of "to" the comedic effect of the album's very existence was heightened.

Saint Anger just makes me kinda sad. Like the others here have said, there's a good album hidden in there. It could've been so much more than it is and a solid addition to Metallica's super spotty discography. I still enjoy it anyways, personally, but I feel it really sums up post-black album Metallica: a sad mess of wasted potential.

Everybody just stop!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BplsGX5eLLo

A Russian, or Turkish, or whatever, gender bending whatthefuck. Hmmm, Yeah, that clearly isn't for me. I suppose it would be moderately tolerable without the video, or maybe if I was (whatever the proper respectful term is nowadays) GLBT. But as it is...nope. Can't watch it.

That song with a girl whining "I know what boys like, I know what guys want" It comes on a lot at my gym which plays the worst radio station possible. Usually I have headphones on, but they still have music in the locker room too, not only is it awkward, but it makes me feel physically weak. I was working out with my wife the other day so neither of us had headphones when the song came on and it was like a moment of clarity when I told her "This is literally THE worst song EVER"

I just cannot understand this kind of stuff, mixing pop and hip hop stuff. It's HUGE here in Finland these days. I don't know what happened to catchiness in pop anyway...

Gunna's 'Speed It Up' is so awful it feels like a parody of some sort; but in fact it's entirely sincere.

Look, don't get me wrong here - I like hip hop, including modern stuff like this. I like what you could call 'mumble rap', I like trap and cloud rap and what not, and I like what you could call 'non-lyrical' hip hop that focuses more on feeling, energy, directness, the sound of the voice, the sound and vibe of the instrumental, catchy hooks and memorable ad-libs instead of lyricism and technical ability. It caters to a different musical need compared to say Biggie or Public Enemy or Kendrick Lamar; it shoots for different feelings and sounds that you don't get from more lyrical hip hop, and as such you listen to it differently too. An artist like Young Thug, who Gunna so obviously tries to ape, is a standout and a pioneer across hip hop's 40+ year history, in my view.

This though exemplifies everything wrong with the new wave, and I imagine it's what oldheads hear when they listen to anything in this field. The lyrics aren't even bad because there barely are any lyrics; Gunna does almost nothing across this song. It's as if it's JUST ad-libs and he forgot to write the verses, and even artists like Playboi Carti that make ad-lib heavy, super simplified music don't do this little over a beat (far from it in fact.) The beat is okay but nothing incredible that you can soak in, and Gunna's voice as ever is entirely drab; lacking in energy, range and emotion. To call him a Young Thug clone is an insult to Young Thug. There's no feeling you can derive from his voice or the beat, there's no catchy lyrics or vocal melodies, in fact there is literally nothing standout in a positive sense about it at all. It is total drivel that is entirely deserving of the usual criticisms of this wave of hip hop; it's effortless, dumbed down, meaningless and shallow.

The cringe meter is off the charts here:

Saw Todd in the Shadows' video on that album too? Yeah that's an abysmal album and that song is no exception.

Maybe I’m getting old, but I can’t see how someone can sit around and enjoy this. I believe the stuff like this by him is just a novelty. Someone wants everyone to see how cool they are, listening to this.

https://youtu.be/jkDd1DyPzlU

Slipknot Discography

Merzbow isn't really my thing either but at least I can understand what he is trying to do there. It's obviously not music in the conventional sense, but it's interesting- maybe not in a good way but at least he's trying to be artistic. In other words, I have more respect for his stuff than I do for your typical garbage autotune pop and poorly written mainstream rock/metal a la Slipknot. Even thought I would probably prefer not to listen to either.

Merzbow is a werid one because I'm really into drone/noise/power electronics and I still think most of what he does has no value at all.

Here’s a real piece of shit. The first song off of the Clash - Cut the Crap. This is a ducking mess of a song.

https://youtu.be/SC61BdLbQMg

This song gave me cancer.

EDIT: Was just reminded that this exists a day later, but didn't want to make a new post.

Yeah Van Canto are one of the most laughably terrible, cringe-inducing musical acts with any following to ever exist. A ridiculous and dumb idea they don't even go the whole distance with applied to already boring, not good music. You ever seen videos of them performing live? It's transcendent.

This is my first time hearing Van Canto and this is peak Nu-Metal beauty.

Van Canto have a couple really good original songs that would undoubtedly sound way, way better when performed by an actual band.

When I worked at Office Depot there were a few years that we had music playing from artists that were...not good and would never be heard on the radio. It was the worst. Here are one of the worst (I have many more to share, including Holiday Songs):

I have no idea if this has been posted, but...

My god. Just... it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And I'm 100% certain he can't say *a certain word I can't repeat in all good conscience*, as I'm sure he's Indian and not a black dude.

This is the true heir to The Shaggs. Everything is just wrong, and it sounds bad.