I like goth metal, but prefer it to be more extreme metal with gothic elements... lately though I heard a fantastic album from the straight up popish sounding gothic metal band For My Pain..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CN5j-FieHg

I also at the same time encountered a rather good black metal band covering Tiamat's goth rock single Cold Seed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmpVvQh4DrM

I was impressed then with the idea that gothy or symphonic BM could occasionally make use of the crooning vocals, driving song constructs, and softer edge of goth rock. Not it the Circle of Oroubous raw style but with more synths and such. Something that brings what I hear in For My Pain to black metal.

The closest example I can think of is Moonspell's album Irreligious. Id like to find more like that. But nothing too popish. I still like the mystical lyrics and images used in most black metal and would prefer it to say... any of the lyrics and images used by Epica or later Moonspell and Tiamat.

I'm a little confused with what exactly you are looking for. You list black metal in the topic title but I do not hear any of that in the songs you listed nor in your description of what you are looking for except you want something more extreme than gothic rock. It sounds to me like you are just looking for gothic metal without being too poppish so not Lacuna Coil and Within Temptation.

These may suit you.
Charon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQOvCJbQMOw

The Eternal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYCmbHSqC48

Beseech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk_BScFM0s0

If you are looking for the extreme gothic metal stuff which overlaps with black metal kind of like Cradle of Filth then check out Theatres Des Vampires though it sounds nothing like the examples you gave.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpQvehU21tI