What really bothers me about van canto is not how awful they are but the fact that it is a completely serious musical project based on a concept that is typical for a comedy act. I still think they are far from being the worst band on the archives. Shouldn't be there a statistical way of finding that out using the review system?

I remember people talking about this band called Jewicide a while back. It was a one man raw black metal band that only released one album, and it is perhaps the worst album I have ever heard in my life.

Nahhh even if you were to weigh bands more if they've got more negative reviews, you're still likely to wind up with some band that was cool to hate for a while and got a flood of negative reviews by people trying to be the next UltraBoris or whatever. Like Waking the Cadaver or Thrash or Die or something like that, totally ignoring bands that have just been consistently dogshit for forever, like Six Feet Under.

Hahahahah

Speaking of Six Feet Under, their new album is one of the worst things I have ever heard. Fucking hell, that band is almost as bad as Liturgy.

Iron Maiden. Is suicide in my future? Probably yes.

Actually i'm just joking guys but one thing I definitely do think. Iron Maiden aren't the best metal band in the world. They are close but the best. No.

Skinlab is really bad. Groove metal at its worst. Der Stürmer is pretty bad too. The worst well known band in nsbm.

Years ago - like, 7-10 years ago - I saw Hellyeah live in Sydney. A friend who's not really into metal liked them and we went. The show wasn't the best but it was entertaining enough.

Their early sludge material was okay at least.

Speaking of Metal Enterprises, Saccara may have called their early days "Ketchup Metal," but I call their early years "Toilet Metal." The "hymne" is the same chords played ad infinitum. The rest of the album, while "better," still ranks as one of the worst Metal/Punk crossovers. Other songs from the debut are missing from YouTube, but those seeking an endurance test can hear the rest of the "Ketchup Metal" demo there.

As much as I have a soft spot for Christian Metal, I can't tell if the drumming or the songtitle is more embarrassing. Riffwise, Holy Right is your standard fare '80s Heavy Metal and the charming vocalist saves the music from being terrible. But then there's Torn Flesh. Apart from the garden variety riffs, the biggest offense here is the vocalist spewing cringeworthy, insipid lyrics at an incomprehensible pace.

Thor's Hammer, no doubt.

One band I'm surprised went unmentioned in this thread: Vorak

Resurrecting this thread because I've found the new worst bedroom black metal ever: If I Could Kill Myself.



Absolutely, embarrassingly terrible. It's actually worse than I'm in a Coffin, which is kind of amazing when you think about it.

This album is the first one I've reviewed with a failed grade in years. Be proud of me.

Tank Genocide, Benighted In Sodom, Zarach Baal Tharagh. Garbage.

Jew Atomizer. Great name right? It's so bad it's almost good. That's what first drew me to the project back when I would use the random band button to find new weird band. The only band member turned out to be a nazi smack addict who'd spent at least a third of his life in prison. Sounds kinda exciting right? What form would the music of such a failed human take? I could never find any MP3 links to them but for a while I'd try to predict what this band sounded like. I came up with something that sounded like a mixture of classic Darkthrone, Marduk and a legitimately racist SOD.

Some tape trader had posted an MP3 on his blogspot and from there it'd been taken, passed round and ended up on YouTube, where I found it. Turns out, the band was just a silly sounding, poorly recorded pile of shit. No aggression, no drive, fuck all - just amateurish black metal with some suggestive lyrics on "German nationalism", not to mention a thin, out of time guitar and farts for vocals. I at least thought I could laugh at it, instead I just felt bad for the cassette deck used to make the thing.

Oh yeah. I reviewed that too. Total garbage. Hated every second of it from what I remember. If I Could Kill Myself is defiantly up there as one of the worst.

Isn't HELLYEAH basically Vinnie Paul's therapy band... he is with three other people who have suffered similar tragedies to him and he is comfortable with people who he feels are going through similar motions.

I don't know... that is just my own two cents.

Can we just settle it and say DSBM is the shittest music genre...ever? Seriously, if you can listen to this shit and actually call it it good music you're not cut out for life.

I don't see a whole lot of love for The Haunted on here. I can't say I disagree. The only album I ever half enjoyed was "Made Me Do It", and even that one only have a few moments. All their main releases besides Revolver have pretty underwhelming scores on here.

Sometimes it can be decent if it has non-shitty production or some sort of unique flair. But overall, yes. Their fans are also some of the most obnoxious out there who'll say shit like “you have to be depressed yourself to get this” which I don’t believe at all.

Sorry I'm late, but I just wanted to say that this made me laugh:

Sometimes, I just love how hard some of these people try.

Jewicide is just weirdly conceived and weirdly produced. The music isn't exactly good, but it is interesting how the band was able to produce a reasonable facsimile of black metal by doing everything completely backwards. The guy behind it is also behind a few other bands that sound much more normal, so Jewicide was probably a one off concept of "What would it sound like if...". That kind of homebrewed experimentation is a lot less unpleasant than "professional" bands who are aggressively content to suck and rehash their own bad ideas (looking at you Six Feet Under, Mayhem, Slayer, etc) if ya ask me.

I nominate Einherjer for worst band. They aren't terrible or anything, but I guarantee you can't listen to this album (not even ironically) without feeling extreme embarrassment: https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/E ... e_All/1157 At least with a band like Z'B'T or Damien Storm you can get a laugh out of the silly vocals or wack riffs and you'll probably feel the urge to share it with your friends to spread the entertainment. With this... no.

I think the "Mental Enterprises House Band" has got to be way up there. What I mean is of course the people that faked those releases from real, if shitty and justifiably forgotten, bands like Thrash Queen, Killer Fox, Godzila and Fucker. I'm sure the same people or person is behind all these releases. I'm betting on the label owner and his girlfriend. I would love to know what went on in their heads. Too bad there's never been an Ingo interview.

The groove is there to mask the technicality and make it palatable. It's also a side effect of forming in Seattle during the grunge era.

Oh, and it also makes them better than crap like Symphony X.

I just don't think Nevermore is any good. They got lucky due to a 'right place right time' thing, combined with their admittedly unique sound and what not - but the songs just do nothing for me and come off as clunky and dull. There isn't much else like them, but some bands like Communic and Sunburst use the influence in a much better way to my ears.

Sure; you don't have to like them of course. But worst band on the archives? Not a chance!

I'm probably the only person in what I guess i could call my "metal circle" that somewhat enjoys them. SOme of it might be because of that "right time/place" thing you mentioned. And especially in 96 or so their sound was indeed very unique. I still think Politics of Ecstacy is a great album.

The only Nevermore albums I've heard all the way through are Dreaming Neon Black and This Godless Endeavor. TGE is better overall and finishes strong, whereas DNB gets uneven in the second half.

The title track of TGE is so good, even if it was Nevermore's only decent song it would single-handedly prevent them from being the worst metal band. On the other extreme, if all their songs were like All Play Dead, they might be the worst band in my collection.

Don't forget though that stuff like Halmstad by Shining exists, and that album's legitimately one of the best black metal albums of the 2000s. Shining kind of dropped a lot of the typical DSBM tropes as they went on, and now they're so much more than what they started out as, but it took a few albums for them to really find their footing.

For me, it's Killswitch Engage, In Flames and Pantera (Panterrible). I just hate the fact I have to admit these are legit metal bands, no matter how much garbage they are. And then having to hear from my non-metal friends (those who don't dig beneath the surface into the underground) how "great" these metal bands are.

As long as fucking Drown In Solitude are a band on this website, you're not allowed to list Pantera on this thread.

Pantera were a good band, most people on here just hated their image and aesthetic. I get not liking the sound - but hardly worst band on the site by any measure... they wrote heavy, catchy, accessible yet aggressive material and reached a lot of fans.

yeah, I know it's an entirely subjective idea though. I mean, really, the worst band on the archives in an objective sense is probably some bedroom band (black metal or otherwise) that released some recordings to a dozen people. But I suppose someone could also say that those kinds of bands are harmless; it's the ones that actively reach out and "influence" people that kill more brain cells.

This and this mainly is why I consider Pantera top three, maybe the worst. How many shitty bands did Pantera inspire? GENRES!? The massive amounts of white trash I would see walking down the street in my hometown wearing Pantera shirts (you know the kind of guy I'm talking about lol.) Pantera has been a bane to metal since 1992.

I do like some of their stuff, but Vulgar Display sure is a terrible album that set a terrible precedent. You're right, too; there was a time there, around when I was first getting into metal, when it seemed like every garbage "heavy" band wwanted to sound like them. Except, none of them really had a guitarist as good as Dimebag to liven things up.

I dunno, I never really encountered many of these douchebags wearing Pantera shirts so that was never an issue for me. And I don't care how many bad bands a band influenced - never enters into it for me. Vulgar Display I think is much better than a lot of people give it credit.

Agreed!! I was just reading the latest review of Vulgar Display of Power and I totally agree that that album was the beginnings of mallcore!

It's probably not such a thing anymore, and it's possible that, not to be one of those "you youngun" type guys, but you maybe had to be around in the 90s to experience that influence. You know, you go to a show, and typically of the late 90s, none of the bands really match up with each other, and once again you end up having to sit through bad talentless Pantera-wannabes no. 2,381,400. It's enough to really turn one off.

I disagree about Vulgar; I'll stand up for Trendkill and even Far Beyond Driven has its moments, but i always thought that album was utter garbage through and through. Of course, it's Vulgar that marked the big change in their sound, and in the context of its time and place, it's an important album. Not good, though...not good at all.

Vulgar has much more to do with inspiring 90s metalcore than they do nu metal... Sure, there's some Pantera in the first Korn album (they were basically the biggest metal band at the time behind Metallica), but there's plenty Alice in Chains/grunge as well. Nobody is out here giving them shit for including nu metal. "Domination" and Vulgar were the big inspirations for hardcore kids to start playing metal after youth crew died down (along with South-Seasons-Divine era Slayer). Not the same thing as mallcore, whatsoever.

I've changed my opinion on it a few times in my life, but Vulgar is a fine album with lots of great songs. Tons of character and power groove to take the place of the missing Halford screaming and speed metal parts.