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Cuhlowd Cownecketead
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:15 pm
Posts: 2
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 12:22 pm 
 

So, here we are with the newest addition to the Graveyard Classics. The album I'm talking about is Graveyard Classics IV: The Number Of The Priest. The album, like the other Graveyard Classics, are... humorous. The reason Barnes doesn't fit with Maiden and Priest numbers is because he can't wail like Dickinson or Halford. Steve Swanson cant live up to the likes of Dave Murray and Adrian Smith. It comes out as a br00tal parody that is entertaining. Now, my question is what should Chris Barnes cover next. I think he should take the low road and make an album indicating the satirical nature of the Graveyard Classics albums. I can see it now. Graveyard Classrics V: The Dead Just Wanna Have Fun. This album will feature such covers as Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, Like A Virgin by Madonna, Faith by Geroge Michael, and Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!. What do you think? :np:

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demonomania
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 11:44 am
Posts: 178
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:36 am 
 

"The Bleeding"
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blackmantram
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:51 pm
Posts: 149
Location: Colombia
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:20 am 
 

He should make an album of elevator music covers since that's the 'genre' that suits SFU's music best.
Honestly, I don't understand how is this band still alive, if there's a next step for it is freaking die.

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jimbies
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 209
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:22 am 
 

These are horrid.

He may as well do one of power ballads or glam metal now. At least it'd be full-on campy.

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 7777
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:15 am 
 

Keeper of the Seven Keys I & II.
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Uncolored wrote:
non 80's wodos members are enemies of teutonic beatles hairstyle thrash

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Twisted_Psychology
Veteran

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 3533
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:25 am 
 

For some reason, The Final Countdown is the first thing that comes to mind. It hurts.
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Subrick
Metal freak

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 7544
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:41 am 
 

Freight Train by Nitro. It would be the single greatest train wreck in the history of train wrecks.
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Xymosys
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:19 am
Posts: 19
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:12 pm 
 

I'll take my shoot at Kiss or Blue Oyster Cult :D

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 7777
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:25 pm 
 

Subrick wrote:
Freight Train by Nitro. It would be the single greatest train wreck in the history of train wrecks.


Yeah, but it's already awful. Part of the fun with Barnes' cover shite is that he tends to go for good stuff and then he mauls it.
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non 80's wodos members are enemies of teutonic beatles hairstyle thrash

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Element_man
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:37 am
Posts: 764
Location: Vancouver, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 2:26 pm 
 

Oh god these are some of the worst things I've ever heard. I'd rather listen to Skull & Bones or Freakoff. Those bands I can at least laugh at. These Chris Barnes catastrophes are just sad.
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HeavenDuff
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:35 pm
Posts: 838
Location: Quebec, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:13 pm 
 

So 6FU have made 4 of these unfathomable shitty cover albums. None of them seems to have known any kind of positive feedback. Who keeps funding these pieces of shit?

With every shitty album Barnes releases I get more stumped as to how you can release Tomb of the Mutilated and The Bleeding and then release not one, not two, not three, but FOUR SHITTY COVER ALBUMS. And we're not even talking about his terrible original content records like Warpath or True Carnage... I frankly can't tell which is worst... ruining perfectly good songs or writing altogether bad music from start to finish.

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Ludicus
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:07 am
Posts: 3
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:38 pm 
 

Cuhlowd Cownecketead wrote:
I think he should take the low road and make an album indicating the satirical nature of the Graveyard Classics albums. I can see it now. Graveyard Classrics V: The Dead Just Wanna Have Fun. This album will feature such covers as Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, Like A Virgin by Madonna, Faith by Geroge Michael, and Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!. What do you think? :np:


So... Ten Masked Men, then?

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HeavenDuff
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:35 pm
Posts: 838
Location: Quebec, Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:41 pm 
 

demonomania wrote:
"The Bleeding"


I think that somehow they'd still manage to ruin it...

Oh! And Megadeth should be the next target. Now 6FU have proved they can't play Maiden, AC/DC, Accept, Deep Purple, Metallica, Van Halen... It's time to ruin Rust in Peace in it's entirety! Go all out!

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demonomania
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 11:44 am
Posts: 178
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:21 pm 
 

I've got it! They should cover old SFU albums to demonstrate how they've "progressed." The apex of the project would be when they start covering themselves doing covers - "Graveyard Classics I (II)" and so on.
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Omni
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 9:31 pm
Posts: 20
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:52 pm 
 

demonomania wrote:
I've got it! They should cover old SFU albums to demonstrate how they've "progressed." The apex of the project would be when they start covering themselves doing covers - "Graveyard Classics I (II)" and so on.


:lol:

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Steve Nebraska
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2016 4:06 pm
Posts: 85
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:38 pm 
 

He should cover cannibal corpses from vile on.

Plus some Micheal McDonald songs. I love to hear I keep forgetting in death metal style.

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Napalm_Satan
Veteran

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 2813
Location: The darkest hole
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:08 pm 
 

He should cover Dopesmoker in its entirety, given the association with weed and the droning heavy riffs actually suiting SFU's style. I'm having trouble picturing how that would turn out, abysmal vocals aside.
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Garble Slew
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:47 pm
Posts: 5
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:34 pm 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
He should cover Dopesmoker in its entirety, given the association with weed and the droning heavy riffs actually suiting SFU's style. I'm having trouble picturing how that would turn out, abysmal vocals aside.


It would turn out to be aural cancer. Based on the fact that SFU have spent their entire career shitting out material I can say with confidence they don't have the discipline to even consider covering Dopesmoker, let alone attempting.

I would pay for that cover though. The amount of cringe it would induce would be transcendental.

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Metal_Jaw
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:57 pm
Posts: 408
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:54 pm 
 

A Bathory best-of. Can you imagine, or would you want to, Barnes trying to belt out "...enteerrr...the eter...nal...FIRRRRRRRRRRREE!" *pulls away from the mic to cough, then puff again*

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dtfan08
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2011 12:57 am
Posts: 52
PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:43 am 
 

Steve Nebraska wrote:
He should cover cannibal corpses from vile on.

No, that wouldn't work. His old Six Feet Under website literally said that his least favourite music was post-1995 Cannibal Corpse. No joke.

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Cuhlowd Cownecketead
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:15 pm
Posts: 2
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:49 am 
 

other suggestions
500 Miles-The Proclaimers
Safety Dance-Men Without Hats
Under Pressure-Freddie Mercury
Brown Eyed Girl-Van Morrison

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emperorjvl
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 3:10 am
Posts: 101
PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 5:04 am 
 

He needs to cover his face. With an airtight plastic bag.

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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 5795
Location: Kansas City
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 1:02 am 
 

dtfan08 wrote:
Steve Nebraska wrote:
He should cover cannibal corpses from vile on.

No, that wouldn't work. His old Six Feet Under website literally said that his least favourite music was post-1995 Cannibal Corpse. No joke.

In case you were wondering who broke up with who.
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299796kms
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:28 pm
Posts: 360
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:07 am 
 

He should cover Whitney Houston's I will Always Love You.
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Napalm_Satan
Veteran

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 2813
Location: The darkest hole
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:37 am 
 

Garble Slew wrote:
It would turn out to be aural cancer. Based on the fact that SFU have spent their entire career shitting out material I can say with confidence they don't have the discipline to even consider covering Dopesmoker, let alone attempting.

I would pay for that cover though. The amount of cringe it would induce would be transcendental.


To be honest I don't even know why I thought it could be anything else. Of course it would be auditory AIDS.


Since it's well known that he butchers anything he touches, maybe if he covered something from Slipknot's early albums, St Anger or Machine Head (i.e: groove/nu metallish type stuff that was not good to begin with) he might actually improve on it.
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why
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:43 pm
Posts: 643
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:57 am 
 

Chris Barnes should follow his true calling and move to Colorado and set up shop there

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The arcane tactician
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:03 am
Posts: 29
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:21 am 
 

SFU haters are gay, I'd take them over CC wanking any day. As far as covers they should do I think it would be sweet if they did an old Mercyful Fate track if they can hang. Black Funeral or something.

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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 5795
Location: Kansas City
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 2:31 pm 
 

At least gay people have pride.
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PazuzuZlave
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2004 6:47 am
Posts: 389
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 3:48 pm 
 

Well, we can't all be gay, can we? Some of us deal with chronic depression and stuff...

I would hate (love) to hear them cover Slipknot. Lol, I don't even know why. Maybe I'm just too baked. Well, the OP had the right idea anyway.
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QuoteKiller
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 190
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 5:46 pm 
 

FREEBIRD!

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kluseba
Making Metal Archives Reviews Great Again!

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:36 am
Posts: 404
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 7:21 pm 
 

The next thing Chris Barnes needs to cover is his mouth. Thank you.
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TooBrute
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 4:45 pm
Posts: 41
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 4:02 pm 
 

What does Chris Barnes needs to cover next? His face with a pillow!

On the real though, the last thing Chris Barnes & Six Feet Under need to do is put out another cover album

I'm a huge fan of the Chris Barnes era Cannibal Corpse albums and the first several Six Feet Under albums as well

But it's time that Chris Barnes needs to realize that his voice has gone the way of the dodo and just retire

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demonomania
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 11:44 am
Posts: 178
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 4:11 pm 
 

Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
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