That last one though...

I wonder about what would be the influences of the Sacred Son.

That Sacred Son one cracked me up so much, I found this description on the bandcamp page "Created in the ligature of a third-life crisis sat at my dining room table in my dressing gown, the scent of the flower 'gypsophilia paniculata' in my nostrils."

Here this dude is having awesome vacations and chilling out in his dressing gown sniffing flowers all day while writing songs like "Apolyptic Winter" and "Sepulchral Rites." The music is legitimately icy black metal too, much less post rock/cascadian than I was expecting.

Apparently gypsophila paniculata is baby's breath. He could have picked a more exotic flower. Or maybe his mom's a florist.

According to that bandcamp page, James Plotkin mastered the album and Christophe Szpajdel did the logo. Silly.

album cover of the year right there.

I've listened to Stretch of the Imagination,kickass album,but still that doesn't excuese that it looks like a disco album

I'm listening to it right now, and i REALLY like it. It's a hilarious juxtaposition with the cover of the album.

I mean, if this would have ACTUALLY been the debut cover and title....

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Sa ... iscography

It may look like a joke band, but the music is legit.

bruh

That was just posted on the last page. Honestly, covers that are intentionally bad aren't nearly as funny - just sayin'.

What's even better is that forestcorpse owns the limited edition first-press vinyl

Warcrab - Warcrab


Setting aside for a moment the idea of a crab having rippling muscling in the first place, notice how floppy its huge pecs are. This is a warcrab that was a varsity football player back in 96 but has spent a little too much time eating doritos and drinking beer. I was listening to this while driving this morning and while the music was enjoyable I had more fun think of stupid Warcrab song names. Here is what I came up with.

This Is Huh...Warcrab
Hammer Smashed Carapace
Pinched from Within
Buttered at Birth

I think those are extra arms, not abs.

I see it now. Next you'll tell me Santa Claus isn't real.

Hehe, you might as well start your own crab-themed parody death metal band, a-la Cannabis Corpse. Call it CRABonized.

LOOK at this.

Vogelfrey- In Ekstase



It's ALL bad, but what's with the emoji!?

Aside from the logo, which looks sloppily pasted on and comes in a rather intrusive shade of red, I really like that Warcrab one. The general color scheme I find genuinely pleasant.

Alcanzando Un Orgasmo Descomunal - Obsceno / Throb of Offal

Oh great,Diviantart started invading metal too

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/H ... God/647349

More like enemy of art.

Hahahaha that Warcrab cover is awesome

And the worst cover of all time is actually Lady Gaga's Born This Way

A Watain bootleg LP with really amateurish layout:
https://www.discogs.com/Watain-Nemini-P ... ev=item-vc

Once I was done laughing at the front cover, I looked at it a bit more thoughtfully and came to the conclusion that I actually LIKE it. It's so anachronistic - a stark jump back to the 80's and 90's esthetics of many a demo tape cover, as if anything achieved in visual designing since had never taken place - so there's an undeniable charm in that poorly done drawing.

Yikes! at the back of the LP artwork though: While I could look past the pointless change in font size from side A to B, I cannot see the worth or reason behind using the Schutzstaffel-SS. It's most likely an indication of the bootlegger's state of mental development. And the 1% tag is simply stupid; further cause to ascribe a certain level of brains or maturity to its creator.

Isn't Erik of Watain a visual artist? I wonder what he'd have to say about this...

Jesus are we not putting NSFW tags on things any more.

Wheres the NSFW one?

Here you go, I guess he was referring to this pic:

Ftfy.

Christopher Lee's second album cover is pretty poorly photoshopped.

What's NSFW about a guy coming home after a long day at work and throwing himself into his body pillow...oh

Found this atrocity.

Swordmaster - Moribund Transgoria

^
Funny thing is, nobody could guess this is a death metal album from this artwork alone. It sends off some industrial vibes.

Syron Vanes - Property of...

That album has to be good. No band could have an album cover that bad and not have the music be killer. You have to make up for that.

What business has that disembodied face being there?

Even a severed head can appreciate big booty hoes

I was hoping to get that sorta reply...well, that or a reference to oddly pareidoliac turds.