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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 123
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 6:06 am 
 

I'm well aware of the fact that Sloth's only been releasing these, ehm, singles just for the sake of purposely putting out some idiotic covers, but still... The fuck?

Spoilers for half-nudity and bad taste:

Spoiler: show
Image

This one's called "This What I’m Tryin’ 2 C, When I’m Masturb8ing in a Parking Garage!!" Yeah, I'm not kidding. This bullshittery is on the Archives.


Spoiler: show
Image This gem's title is "Welcome... Sloth Is Trend-crushing BLKMTL"


And the last one of theirs - just... What?

Sloth - Crably & Whaley Are Fun Play-day Friends!! (4/12/17)

Image
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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SkullFracturingNightmare
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:20 pm
Posts: 1016
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 6:10 am 
 

To be fair, I wouldn't mind seeing that in a parking garage either (except I ain't there to whack it).
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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If God won't have me, then the Devil must!

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 8:43 am 
 

Unlike my comment towards the last band, there's no way THIS band could be good.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 123
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:21 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Unlike my comment towards the last band, there's no way THIS band could be good.


Bullseye, they're not. Most of their "songs" just consist of harsh noise, devoid of any sort of variation. They're no better than your ordinary old CRT television without the antenna.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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demonomania
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 11:44 am
Posts: 355
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:42 pm 
 

I put some thought into their album art in the review below, see if you agree:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ania/21543
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Your god will fail, and you will be DEAD.

"Everyone welcome back the Hoffman brothers, a new beginning for great guitarists and people."

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 123
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:49 pm 
 

demonomania wrote:
I put some thought into their album art in the review below, see if you agree:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ania/21543


You read them like a book.

Here's another one for ya guys. Maybe not that atrocious, but stupid nonetheless.

Corpsebitch - Power Steve the String Beast and the Gates of Midi

Image
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 856
Location: New Jersey
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 9:54 pm 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/A ... ion/666768
This is actually a Christian BM band too. That's anti-Catholic. Wait what
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last.fm - Feel free to add, just let me know who you are first

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Necrobiotik
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2015 10:27 pm
Posts: 364
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:35 am 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Unlike my comment towards the last band, there's no way THIS band could be good.


Bullseye, they're not. Most of their "songs" just consist of harsh noise, devoid of any sort of variation. They're no better than your ordinary old CRT television without the antenna.

But this is what people said about the guitar sound in 'Filosofem' , a classic...

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MawBTS
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2014 2:16 am
Posts: 642
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:27 am 
 

Quote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/A ... ion/666768
This is actually a Christian BM band too. That's anti-Catholic. Wait what


I'm actually really curious as to what the aqua-coloured text behind the black text is.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 4850
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:09 pm 
 

MorbidEngel wrote:
Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/A ... ion/666768
This is actually a Christian BM band too. That's anti-Catholic. Wait what

I mean, it's possible to be anti-Catholic and still Christian. Just look at Protestants.

... That said, what a fucked up mix. Anti-Catholic Christian BM... in Mexico... using German for their album art/song titles? :|
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Metal Archives: Now it is safe from black magic

Metal Archives... is clean.

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 123
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:43 am 
 

Necropolis - Incertidumbre

Image

Oh, Holy Lens Flare, bless my third-tier Master of Puppets background and my haunted bedsheet!
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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FearAbsentia
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2017 12:10 am
Posts: 80
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:37 am 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... Mind/31589

This looks like a bald Bobby Bittman from SCTV screaming "HOW ARE YA!"

Image
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last.fm

Metal is forever!

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:03 am 
 

That one has an odd charm to it though to the point I made this post as an effort to check out the album later.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9123
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:05 am 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/T ... Realm/4429
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9123
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 6:46 pm 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/P ... rice/59655
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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DecemberSoul
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 620
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 7:06 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:


If that is meant to depict a reptilian, it must be the least intimidating one I've seen so far. Dumb-looking to the point that if it intended to invade your home, you'd just tell it to wait outside for a sec, then simply not open the door again - problem solved!

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FearAbsentia
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2017 12:10 am
Posts: 80
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:01 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
That one has an odd charm to it though to the point I made this post as an effort to check out the album later.


Shah's first album is great, I haven't heard the one I posted. I agree about the charm, I love a lot of those hilariously cheesy album covers. I don't think cheesy album covers get any better than Razor's Decibels though. :-D
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last.fm

Metal is forever!

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9123
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:39 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/C ... bus/686257
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:00 pm 
 

I'm not gonna click on the band link and just assume they're labeled as Goregrind.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 856
Location: New Jersey
PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:17 am 
 

You'd be right
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last.fm - Feel free to add, just let me know who you are first

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Resident_Hazard
Possessed by Starscream's Ghost

Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 2:33 pm
Posts: 3648
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 11:06 am 
 

Sepulchrave wrote:
please.. never mix memes with metal. There isn't a better way to make a laughingstock of yourself.

Image



What's funny about this one is that someone owns the copyright to troll face, and they could be sued for it's use on the album cover. It's not "just a meme." I know this because a super shitty game was released on Wii U that was made with internet memes, and the guy who owns Trollface contacted Nintendo to have it taken down explicitly because of the copyright infringement.

It was Nintendo's piss-poor "anyone can make a Nintendo game" era, where "anything goes" had clearly replaced any semblance of the old Nintendo Seal of Quality.

To be fair, that seal only ever really denoted that a game was officially licensed and functional, not that it was any good or had actual quality.
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Game dev company I co-founded: From Nothing Game Studios

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 8:51 pm 
 

Image
Has this been posted yet? Pretty big eyesore if you ask me.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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Thexhumed
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:26 pm
Posts: 957
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 11:19 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:


This one looks like Donkey Country 2 boss.
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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:31 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Image
Has this been posted yet? Pretty big eyesore if you ask me.


No! The Skull-Dude is cool!

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:41 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
I think those are extra arms, not abs.


Yes! Warcrab must have lots of arms... FOR WAR!!!! :grr:

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:44 pm 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
Warcrab - Warcrab
Image


Also, this cover is AWESOME, and I need it on Vinyl! :-D

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:46 pm 
 

stevetehgreate wrote:
Image

Mettalica - Quebec Magnetic

Good god,even their own logo is trying to kill them


Of course- it's tired of being on crappy albums!

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:25 am 
 

Wilytank wrote:
Someone in the recent purchases thread revealed this:

Image

Album: http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Si ... est/594170

Behold the mystical vagina gate!


Rub it correctly, and you are allowed to enter often!

Rub it incorrectly, and you can't get in for at least three months!

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 132
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:20 am 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
Voivod - Negatron. Normally Voivod gets a pass with their artwork, especially the 80s albums. I dig the style and love some of the early ones, but theirs also come off as bad in other ways. This particular one needs to be called out. Mid-90s ugliness beyond salvaging.
Image


Negatron rules!!! What's not cool about a giant robot ant??

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:49 am 
 

Probably the ant shrugging its shoulders like it can't answer a question.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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forestcorpse
Veteran

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:06 pm
Posts: 3101
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:18 pm 
 

Image

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John_Sunlight
President Satan

Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:41 am
Posts: 6369
PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 1:12 pm 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
Warcrab - Warcrab
Image

They must be some serious genji fans.
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"Dave, we have to kill monsters."

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Liquid_Braino
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:25 am
Posts: 408
PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 5:07 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Image
Has this been posted yet? Pretty big eyesore if you ask me.

I'm huge and I will crush you all to...ahh fuck it, I'm drunk and tired and need to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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forestcorpse
Veteran

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:06 pm
Posts: 3101
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:44 am 
 

Image

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 5:20 pm 
 

Image
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 4841
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 6:41 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Image
Has this been posted yet? Pretty big eyesore if you ask me.

He reminds me of Ziltoid the Omniscient if he had giant fangs.
_________________
TrooperEd being wrong about metal as usual wrote:
Because like it or not this shit needs money, fame and large sold out venues to be sustainable and to survive.

Last.fm

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ironmaidens_666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:37 am
Posts: 258
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 8:03 am 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Four_Sweaty_Dudes_in_a_Room/A_Very_Sweaty_Christmas/545773

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 856
Location: New Jersey
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:26 am 
 

You know it's bad when you can still see the original logo behind the plagiarists'!
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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1198
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:37 am 
 

Image

The random band function for this website has just been hitting it out of the ballpark for me these last few days.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 940
Location: Frozen dead land where sharp winds blow
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:59 am 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/A ... bon/227301

So terrifying... :roll:
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BastardHead wrote:
I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
I like keeping my sword wet, like a young girl in her prime.

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